


Promise Me

by Lucky_19



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, No Angel: the Series knowledge required, No Smut, POV Buffy Summers, POV Spike (BtVS), which means mild Angel bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 97,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucky_19/pseuds/Lucky_19
Summary: Spike is incorporeal, unable to leave Los Angeles, and stuck with Angel at his demon law firm. Luckily for the not-ghost, he’s figured out how to interact with the world and can finally let Buffy know he’s alive.Pissed at Angel and thrilled to hear from Spike, the Slayer takes a trip to the City of Angels intending to give her ex a piece of her mind and finds that getting Spike back to normal might not be as easy as she thought it would be. But that's okay. She can wait for them to figure it out.After all, it’s not like Angel got himself into any trouble as the CEO of Wolfram and Hart, right?
Relationships: Faith Lehane/Robin Wood, Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 48
Kudos: 111





	1. Angel, You've Got a Big Storm Coming

**Author's Note:**

> This started as my take on how Buffy learns Spike’s alive, but then I finished season 5 of Angel and decided to extend the story into a full rewrite because Spike not reaching out to Buffy the moment he could is total bullshit. If you haven’t seen the last season of Angel then there will be passing mentions to things you may not fully understand, but it’s by no means critical to the story since Buffy wouldn't know about those things either.
> 
> Apologies to any fans of Lindsey, Eve, Connor, Knox, or the Powers That Be because they are either written out of the story or don’t exist period.
> 
> Finally, before we get to the actual story, I’d like to say thanks to Anya_Mae for introducing me to Buffy in the first place as well as for being my beta reader. Love you girl!

It was nearing midnight when Spike stood over Angel’s desk and took a moment to wonder how one girl had turned his life completely upside down.

If someone had told him six years ago that he would fall in love with the Slayer, win a soul for her, _die_ for her, then come back as a not-ghost and save a girl he barely knew, sacrificing his chance for a body in the process, he would have laughed in their face right before he ripped out their throat. Yet somehow, that was the exact chain of events that led him to where he was now, willing himself the ability to touch and looking around Angel’s desk for a phone number because even though he had only been gone nineteen days and even though it had only felt like a moment to him, he missed her. Missed her voice, missed her laugh, missed her smile and her touch. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted her to know he was back because he was positive Angel hadn’t told her. He wanted to know if he was wrong.

 _I love you_.

_No, you don’t, but thanks for saying it._

Sometimes he could still feel the ghost of her touch against the palm of his hand.

Pale yellow flashed out of the corner of his eye and he stopped digging through cabinets to examine the post-it note stuck to the wooden desk. Several numbers were listed on it, but it was the last one that caught his attention. _Emergencies Only_ had been scrawled in Angel’s familiar script, an arrow pointing to the final number. “There you are.”

He picked up the phone, concentrating intently on dialing the number and holding the phone while it rang. Anxiety slowly wormed its way into his gut with every passing second, making him doubt his spur of the moment plan. Would she even want to talk to him after everything? Would she be glad he was back? Would she even care at all, hanging up the phone the moment-

“Angel? What’s wrong?”

Every thought flew from his mind at her voice in his ear. He sank into Angel’s chair, taking a moment for the relief to settle. He had succeeded. She was alive. She was okay. Was she doing fine without him? Was she better off with him dead? Oh, God, this was a mistake-

“Talk to me. What’s happening?” she said. “Angel?”

He swallowed back his nerves and said, “Sorry to disappoint, love.”

The line was silent, the buzzing of the phone low in his ear, and he wondered if she would even be able to hear him. Sure, he could _touch_ the phone but would he be able to _use_ it?

“That isn’t funny,” she finally said. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he could hear a tremor in her voice. “Angel, why did you call me? Is anything even happening over there or are you just-”

“Buffy.” She stopped at the sound of her name. “It’s me, pet.”

He heard rustling in the background followed by a door closing, accompanied by the sound of her quietly cursing the entire time. “This isn’t possible. I’m dreaming right? Tell me I’m dreaming.”

“Only if you want me to lie.”

“Oh my God,” she said softly. She was silent for a long moment and he could clearly see in his mind’s eye the war she was having with herself between being practical and being emotional. “How long?” she finally asked.

“A few months.”

“A few _months_ ?” she repeated incredulously. “You’ve been back for _months_ and you didn’t call? Didn’t send a letter? Didn’t try to find me? God, Spike, way to send a girl mixed signals, I mean-”

“I tried.”

She faltered. “You did?”

“Yeah, love, I did. But there were some snags.”

“Such as?”

“To start with, our good friend Peaches wouldn’t tell me where you are. All he said was that you were in Europe which isn’t all that helpful. I figured screw it, I’ll just go and try to ask around, figure out where you are on my own but I can’t bloody well leave Los Angeles.”

“Right,” she said, sounding disappointed. He desperately wished he could comfort her with something more than words from miles away. “Vampire. Planes. Two non mixy things.”

“Not the plane that’s keeping me here, pet,” he said. “For all intents and purposes, I’m a ghost.”

“A _ghost_?”

He shrugged, kicking his feet up on Angel’s desk. “Basically. Fred says that’s not quite right since I don’t have all the ghost bits but-”

“Spare me the gory details on your ghost bits and tell me what the hell you are.”

“It’s complicated. From what I understand, Angel was sent the necklace by some kind of magic something or other. They think my essence was trapped inside it and released when they opened the envelope.”

“So you’re, what? A physical soul?”

“Not that physical” he muttered, remembering his attempt and failure to attack Angel when he first appeared in the office.

“But you’re calling me.”

“Yeah.” He was suddenly hit with the urge to move and he stood, pacing behind the desk. “Figured out last night that I can touch things if I want to hard enough. Had to wait until tonight to go through Angel’s desk for your phone number.”

Buffy laughed bitterly. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. You know, you vampires really need to cool it with the jealousy thing. _So_ not attractive.” She sighed. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”

“You will? Why?”

“Spike, this isn’t fair to you. You shouldn’t have to be stuck there in a place you don’t want to be with people you barely know. I’ll try and convince him to work on making you corporeal again.”

“They tried,” he said quickly, then caught himself. Why was he defending Angel? 

_Because it’s not Angel you’re defending_ , part of him whispered. Angel didn’t do anything for him. It was Fred who had busted her ass trying to help him, who had tried. It was Fred he was defending. “It worked. Just not with me.”

“So who did it work with?”

“You know, I don’t understand how you can do the whole noble thing,” he said, switching conversational gears. “It never works out well for me. Always seem to end up seeing things no one else can and the novelty of _that_ has worn right the hell off.”

She laughed. He thought it might be the best sound he’d ever heard. “You saved someone?”

“Fred. Threw the ghosty trying to send me to hell into the circle in my place to save her. So now I’m stuck in Los Angeles with the Justice League.”

“You did _not_ just say that.” She was laughing again, sounding like she was trying to keep quiet and failing. “How do you even know about the Justice League?”

“I had to ride with Andrew to that church-monastery-whatever the hell it was,” he said, pointing at nothing to emphasize his point. “There and back, _plus_ I was stuck _in_ the bloody place with him while we waited for night. That boy talked my ear off about whatever popped into his head.”

He smiled as the laughter continued, joining her when it became too contagious to ignore. He stopped his pacing, leaning against Angel’s desk and letting himself have a moment to laugh with the girl he loved. It felt good to feel light for the first time since he’d appeared at Wolfram and Hart. Her giggles petered off after a few minutes and she finally said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before. Not for real.”

“It’s not something I’ve had much reason to do.”

“I like it.” Warmth spread through his chest. “I’m glad you’re alive, Spike.”

“It’s better than being sucked into hell,” he agreed. “Buffy?”

“Yeah, Spike?”

“What happened? To everyone?”

“We’ve been traveling, trying to find as many Slayers as we can and help them. Most of the girls went back to their families to fight vampires in their new towns.”

“And the Scoobies?”

“Faith and Wood left pretty early on. I guess I assumed they were in L.A. but clearly they aren’t. Willow broke it off with Kennedy after they got into a big fight and her and Giles split when he landed in England. He wanted to go home and try and fix the Watcher’s Council and Will wanted the coven to help her out a little more with the magic thing. Andrew’s hanging around and making friends with Dawn. Xander’s with us, still pretty shaken up about Anya’s death-”

He felt the words like a punch in his gut and shot his other hand out, bracing himself on the desk. He must have misheard her because Anya couldn’t be dead. It wasn’t possible for someone so full of life and spirit to be dead. Who would tell everyone when they were being stupid? Who would offer up wild ideas that didn’t work half the time? Who would drink with him when he was feeling down, or listen to him when he needed to complain, or agree with him when he pointed out how idiotic all the humans were being? “Anya’s dead?”

The line was quiet. “Oh,” Buffy finally said. “I forgot you didn’t know.”

“You’re sure?”

“She died saving Andrew. She was a hero.”

He smiled to himself. “A hero, huh?” It seemed a cruel irony that the two immortals had died heroes. He hoped that Anya had repented enough to end up in heaven. She deserved it.

A soft click echoed in the empty space, causing Spike to glance over his shoulder and silently curse himself as Angel came through, closing the door behind him without looking up from the floor. “Angel,” Spike said, announcing himself to the vampire and the newcomer to the girl on the phone as he turned. “Mind if I use the phone?”

Angel froze in the middle of the room. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

“Spike?” Buffy asked. “What’s going on?”

“I’m making a phone call,” he said coolly, pointing to the phone. “Knew you were dumb, mate, but didn’t think you were blind.”

“And who could you possibly be calling? The only person you have a reason to call is Buffy and you don’t know her cell.”

He shrugged. “A man’s got to try something.”

Angel prowled forward, snatching the phone from his hand and slamming it down on its side beside the base. Spike made sure to keep his excitement off his face. Angel hadn’t hung up, leaving their conversation open for Buffy to hear. “Leave Buffy alone, Spike.”

“Ooh.” He shoved his hands in his coat pockets, passing through the desk so they were both in front of the phone. “Jealous, are we? You know most girls don’t find that too attractive.”

“You don’t love her.”

“How would you know?”

“I saw you with Drusilla.”

“Yeah, and that was Dru,” he said sharply. “This is Buffy. Two very different girls that need two very different types of loving, or have you forgotten?”

“She doesn’t know what she’s getting into with you.”

“I’ve been working with her for three years. I think she knows me pretty well by now.” He cocked his head. “Can the same be said about you?”

“Get out.” He raised an arm, pointing for the door. “Get out right now. I don’t want to see you.”

Spike reached back slowly, placing the phone back on the base. He didn’t break Angel’s gaze as he backed away, phasing through the wall and appearing in the room next door thoroughly pleased with himself. 

He had talked to her. Not only had he talked to her, but she seemed happy that he was back and angry that Angel hadn’t told her. She wanted him to have a body again. It all had to mean something, he was sure, he just wasn’t sure if it meant what he wanted it to mean.

He shook his head, deciding this was too much thought for so early in the night, and set to wandering L.A. The wonderful thing about ghosts, he had learned, was that he had no need for sleep.

\--------------------------------

Buffy stepped out of the elevator and wondered if every law firm’s clients felt underdressed when they arrived. People bustled around her in dresses and suits and a few even in lab coats which had her wondering what kind of law firm this was, exactly. She wasn’t paid any attention, standing in the middle of the lobby and looking around for the familiar shock of blond hair or the flutter of a black duster to no avail.

“Excuse me,” she finally said, tapping a woman in a sleek black dress on the shoulder. She turned, her ponytail swinging with the movement and revealing her sharp, stern features. “Do you work here?”

“I do.” She looked Buffy up and down with a judgmental eye. She knew she should have grabbed a dress or a nicer shirt, but she had been in a hurry when she left and had just thrown the clothes in her suitcase without paying much mind to what she was taking. Her combination of jeans, sandals, and a tank top mostly covered by a white sweater was the nicest outfit she had managed to put together. Dawn had assured her it looked fine, but she was beginning to doubt her younger sister’s fashion expertise. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m looking for someone.” She held a hand above her head. “About this tall, bleached hair, black coat, British accent. Probably insulted you when you first met him.”

The woman shook her head, backing away. “Sorry, I haven’t seen anyone like that.”

“Not at all?” she asked, but the woman was already gone, absorbed into the crowd. Buffy huffed a sigh, looking around again for him as she headed for the stairs. Maybe if she pretended she knew where she was going, she’d be able to snoop around and find him on her own. The building seemed massive on the outside, but how big could it really be?

A few turns down identical looking hallways later and Buffy was learning just how big Wolfram and Hart really was. She stopped in the middle of the corridor with her hands on her hips, looking around for any kind of sign to lead her back to the main lobby and wondering how Angel managed to work in here with all the windows. Maybe if she turned around she could try and back track-

She turned and ran directly into someone coming down the hall behind her.

“Oh my God,” she said, stumbling back a step as coffee spilled all over the person and onto the carpeted floor. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention and-”

“It’s quite alright.” He blotted at his chest with the napkin he had been holding in his other hand. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time this has happened.” 

Buffy paused, examining him closer. He was tall and tanned with the beginnings of a beard, his brown hair swept out of his eyes. She could have sworn she’d seen him before and he sounded so familiar…. “Have we met before?” she asked. 

He looked up, squinting at her. “Perhaps.” He moved the napkin to his coffee hand and held the free one out to shake. “Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.”

“Oh my God,” she said again. “ _Wesley_?”

“Yes. Who are you?”

“It’s me,” she said, laughing. “Buffy Summers?”

His eyes widened and he went to give her a hug before catching himself and awkwardly stepping back. “Buffy. It’s been so long, I didn't even recognize you. How have you been?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Traveling the world, teaching new Slayers, saving people everywhere I go.”

“Is Giles still with you?”

“Nah, I dropped him off in England with Willow back in July.” She shook her head. “I’m actually here to see someone. Could you tell me how to-”

“Turn around, take a left, two rights, and go down the stairs. Next to the elevators there’s a big desk, that’s his secretary. Face the desk, turn left, you can’t miss the large doors.” He started to walk away, but she caught his arm. “Is there something else?”

“I’m not here to see Angel,” she said.

Wesley smiled. “Spike has spent the past three months demanding someone call you, Buffy. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who you’re here for.”

“So why didn’t you call?”

“Angel made it quite clear he didn’t want us to intervene,” he said. “He said Spike was dangerous and that we should dissuade him from getting in contact with you. Last I saw they were both in the boss’s office.” He winked at her. “Good luck, Buffy. It was nice to see you.”

She watched him leave, wondering how much Spike had told them about his relationship with her and immediately dismissing the thought. From the sound of it, Angel had tried to stop Spike from reaching out to her however he could. If Spike had told the inner circle here everything, they wouldn’t have been so quick to agree with Angel.

She followed Wesley’s directions through the halls, coming out at the top of the stairs. Now that she knew it was there, she could see the desk next to the elevators. No one was sitting behind it and when she got closer, she saw a small sign perched on the wall with _Out To Lunch_ written in a glittery pink pen. 

Floating through the air was the sound of low voices from the office to her left. She couldn’t make out who was talking or what they were saying, but she assumed Angel was one of them. She only had to hope Spike was still in there. She wanted him to see her conversation with Angel. She needed him to know she was still choosing him.

_I love you._

_No, you don’t, but thanks for saying it._

Every day, she chose him all over again.

The conversation picked up suddenly. “Do you think I _want_ to be a bloody ghost?” she heard one of the people inside yell. Her hand flew to her mouth once her mind recognized the voice. “Do you think I _want_ to be stuck here with you?”

“I know you don’t,” the other voice replied, also easily recognizable. Good. They were both inside. “But if the choice is you finding Buffy or you being stuck here with me, I pick me every time.”

She flung the office doors open, taking her time stalking in. Angel had clearly been seated behind a large wooden desk, an array of weapons displayed behind him, but was now standing in preparation of a fight. Sunlight spilled into the room, illuminating Angel’s face and she wondered, yet again, how they’d managed that. She only focused on it for a moment before her gaze slipped to Spike, standing in the middle of the room as though he had been pacing. He looked exactly how she’d remembered him, bleached hair and black coat and the scar through his eyebrow that distorted as his brows lowered.

“That’s too bad,” she said, fully entering the room. “Because it isn’t your choice to make.”

“Buffy.” Angel came around the desk, approaching her. She held steady, fury racing through her as she glared up at him. Had he always been this stupid tall? “No one told me you were-”

“What can I say? I like surprises,” Buffy said coolly. She crossed her arms, strolling around the room and taking it all in. “Nice place you’ve got here. Very posh. You’ve even got yourself a secretary. Too bad I didn’t get the chance to meet her. Let me guess. Tall, blonde, thin, dumb as a post?”

“That’s Harmony,” Spike said under his breath.

She frowned, anger momentarily forgotten in the face of confusion. “Harmony?”

“Got a gig as his secretary,” he said. His face was a careful mask of neutrality save the delight dancing in his eyes. “She’s lousy at it, but what can you expect of a bint like that?”

“Shut up, Spike,” Angel said with barely a glance to the other vampire.

Her anger came rushing back in full force watching Spike raise his hands in surrender and take a step back. “Don’t talk to him like that,” she snapped. Something flickered across Angel’s eyes and he stepped away from her. _Good_ , she thought. _Maybe now you get it_. “I’m not here for you, Angel.” She paused, cocking her head. “Well, I guess I am here for you, but not like that. More in a ‘you’re so dead’ way than an ‘I’m here because I love you’ way.”

“ _I’m_ so dead?” he demanded. “What did I do? We haven’t talked since I gave you the necklace.”

“Did you know he’d die?” Her voice dropped to dangerous volumes and she thought she saw a flicker of a smirk on Spike’s face. “Is that why you were so willing to leave? Because you knew what would happen?”

“I didn’t know,” he insisted. “I had no idea what the necklace would do to the wearer. Lilah didn’t tell me any of that.”

She nodded, pretending she knew who Lilah was. “Okay. So no bad blood there?” He shook his head. “Then why didn’t you call me when he came back? Why didn’t you tell him where I was so he could come find me? What gives you the right to continue meddling in my life years after _you_ broke up with _me_?”

He leaned against the desk, a panicked look on his face as he fumbled for answers. She felt a glimmer of satisfaction watching him struggle. Sliding her gaze to Spike revealed the same amusement in his eyes.

“Buffy,” Angel finally said. “He’s dangerous. _Very_ dangerous. I think your feelings for him are making you forget his body count.”

“Oh, because yours is so much better? You know, I’d wager it’s actually _higher_ than his since you have, like, a hundred years on him.”

“Buffy-”

“Forgive me for not heeding your warning but I think I know more about who Spike is and what he’s done in the past few years than you do.”

“So what’s your plan, Buffy?” Angel demanded. “He can’t leave L.A. What are you going to do? Stay here and abandon your mission in Europe?”

She knew exactly what she was going to do but she also knew he would never go for it, so instead of telling him the truth she shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to see him. To see that it was all true.”

“Buffy-”

She was sick of hearing him say her name and she desperately wanted to talk to Spike properly. “Get out.”

He hesitated, as though he didn’t think he heard her correctly. “I’m sorry, are you kicking me out of my own office?”

“I want to talk to Spike alone for a few minutes,” she said. “You can have it back when I’m done.”

Angel looked between the two of them for only a moment before he sighed. “Fine. You have five minutes and then I _need_ this back. I have a client coming in soon.”

Buffy waited for Angel to shut the door behind him before she stepped towards and through Spike, suddenly finding her back to him. Her spirits sank as she swallowed back tears. She had been hoping that maybe they were all lying but it seemed she had no such luck. Of course, it made perfect sense. When had she ever gotten lucky? “So that’s it, then,” she said softly. “You’re a ghost.”

“Don’t sound so sad, pet.” A hand rested gently on her shoulder and she startled, whirling around to face him. He was staring into her eyes, not smiling but wearing that familiar pinched expression she had become accustomed to seeing him with around her. Like she was a knot he was trying to unravel. “I can still touch you if I concentrate hard enough. Can’t feel it, but I can do it.”

“Does that go both ways?”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed something down and she hoped it wasn’t the question she was desperately hoping he’d ask her because she needed him to hear the answer. “I don’t think so, love.”

“I have a plan,” she blurted out. Reaching into her pocket, her fingers wrapped around the cellphone she had managed to get before she came over. “I want to help you try again.”

“Fred said the parts were near impossible to find the first time.”

“Well, Fred probably doesn’t have the resources I do,” Buffy said. “Talk to her, figure out what she needs, and call me. I know you can’t carry the phone on you all the time, so hide it somewhere Angel won’t find it.” She pressed it into his hand, wondering at how her fingers brushed against his hand. It felt solid, yet cool and waxy in a way he hadn’t felt when he’d been alive. _Undead_ , her mind corrected her out of habit. _He was undead._ “I meant it you know,” she whispered. “Before you….”

“Died,” he said. “You can say it.”

“Before you died,” she said. “I meant what I said.”

He cocked a brow, his scar distorting differently than it had before. “Did you now?”

“I tried to convince Willow to help me bring you back. I thought maybe your death was considered unnatural like mine, but she told me that even if that was the case, the whole vampire thing made it all finicky. The best outcome was having soulless Spike back and the worst was destroying you so completely you didn’t even end up in a heaven or hell dimension you just….” She gestured vaguely with her hands. “Faded. Vanished. Poof! No more Spike.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t going to risk that, especially if the best outcome meant you’d probably hate yourself for the rest of your life.”

“You were going to try….” He trailed off, fighting a smile and failing. “You really are something, pet, you know that? Better be careful or a man might think you care.”

“I had to try,” she whispered. “I didn’t want you to have died thinking I lied.”

Surprise flashed across his face. “Thinking you-”

“I love you, Spike, and every day I’d wake up thinking to myself ‘he died believing you don’t love him’ and it would break my heart all over again.”

He reached out to brush her hair away from her face, wincing as it passed through her. She looked away, swallowing back tears. “God, I want to kiss you,” he said. “This is agony, Buffy. If you’re going to get me a body, do it quick. I can’t take much more of this.”

She arched a brow. “You seemed fine with it before I was here.”

“Yeah, before you were here,” he said, rolling his eyes. “But now I can’t touch you, can’t feel you, can’t smell you.” He ran his gaze from her toes to her eyes, holding her attention with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. “Can’t taste you. All I can do is look and I’ve never been a firm believer in the ‘look, don’t touch’ principle.”

“We’re going to figure this out, Spike. I’m not leaving without you.”

He winked. “I’m counting on it, Slayer.”


	2. Monster Mash

“That wasn't what I wanted to hear.”

“I’m sorry Spike,” Fred said. He trailed her as she bustled around the lab, looking from the clipboard in her hand, to the people around her, to him. He was becoming more restless with every passing day, anxious to be back to normal now that Buffy was so close. Fred was worried about him, evident in the close eye she kept on him when she thought he wasn’t looking, and Angel was growing irritated, though whether it was because of Spike’s random appearances or Buffy’s flippant dismissals, he wasn’t sure. “But I told you. The parts were practically impossible to find the first time. We can’t do it again.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

She stopped, turning to face him fully. “I see the way you look at Buffy.” She tilted her head, smiling sadly. “And I see the way Buffy looks at you. Believe me, if I could fix this I would. It’s like watching Jack and Rose’s romance play out right in front of me, except I might be able to stop the ship from sinking.”

“You think we’re some kind of tragic romance?”

She shrugged one shoulder, looking down to her clipboard self consciously. “You’re like an alternate reality version of Romeo and Juliet. Instead of going against society to physically be together, you physically can’t be together in a society that doesn’t know you exist. You have to admit, there’s a kind of tragic poetry to all of this.” Fred leaned closer to him, lowering her voice. “And between you and me, I think Angel’s a little frustrated Buffy isn’t turning to him since he’s the one physically there.” He laughed bitterly. “What? What did I say?”

“She’s been down that road,” Spike said, running fingers that couldn’t feel over the microscope holding the amulet. “Didn’t like it much.”

“With Angel?”

He closed his eyes as unbidden, images flashed through his mind. A house falling apart around him and a punch to the nose in the morning. His shirt flying open and invisible teeth tugging on his ear lobe. A black eye and the echo of a voice saying  _ I’m not your girl _ . 

“No,” he said softly. “Not with Angel.”

Spike felt the shift in the mood as Fred realized what he wasn’t saying and said, “Oh. Well anyways, you aren’t going to be sucked into hell any time soon,” she said, forcing a chipperness into her voice. “So I guess you should just sit tight and let us figure this out.”

“Will Captain Forehead even let you try again?”

“What the boss doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He glanced over his shoulder to find her smiling at him. “Wesley said he’d help me out. We’re going to fix this.”

“I believe you,” Spike said and he was surprised to find he did. Fred had been nothing but kind to him since he showed up and she was the only one of the group to try and help him before it suited their own needs. He had no reason to doubt her. “I’ll, uh, leave you to your work.”

“You know where to find me.”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared straight ahead as he walked through the halls, forcing people to move out of his way and simply passing through those that didn’t. He wasn’t sure where Buffy was, but he was sure his feet would lead him to her. He always seemed to find his way back to her.

“Spikester, can I talk to you for a second?”

He stopped in the hall and looked up at Lorne, immediately regretting the decision. The demon had a look in his red eyes that Spike had come to learn was a warning sign to stay far away. “What do you want?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about the big Halloween bash by now and-”

“Parties aren’t really my thing.” He passed through the demon, continuing on his quest to the lobby. If he couldn’t find Buffy, he could pop in on Angel. That was always good for a few laughs. Maybe he’d get lucky and the ponce would be in a big important meeting-

“I’m willing to bet you just haven’t had a good party experience.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re bloody brilliant. What gave it away?”

“Oh, come on, Spikey baby. How bad could they have been?”

Spike came to a stop on the balcony overlooking the lobby, finally facing the demon. “Let’s see.” He ticked them off on his hand. “There was the Thanksgiving dinner I spent tied to a chair after being turned into a pin cushion. There was the party in the frat house that ended early because things got too hot and heavy in the bedroom. Oh, the engagement party that got broken up because Buffy’s sister went out to snog a vampire and nearly got herself turned, that was a fun one. Tara’s birthday party kicked off with me and Buffy killing demons she couldn’t see. And the piece de resistance of parties, the one no one could leave because Dawn made a wish to the chit that indirectly made me a vamp.

“So yeah, I’ve heard about your sodding Halloween party and no, I’m not going.” He stormed off down the stairs, sighing when he heard Lorne’s footsteps behind him. “I’ve had my fill of parties gone wrong, Lorne. Sod off.”

“Buffy!” Lorne called, walking past Spike to the girl exiting the elevator. “Buffy, Slayer, savior of fun. Tell your man here that tonight’s Halloween bash will be a  _ good _ time and not the disaster he thinks it’ll be.”

“A Halloween party?” she asked. Her gaze flicked from demon to vampire, an undercurrent of curiosity that Spike didn’t like dancing in her eyes. “I don’t have the best track record with parties. None of us do, to be honest. Like that time Spike and Dru ruined my birthday by sending me a demon arm that tried to kill me.”

“Hey.” Spike pointed an accusing finger at her, but there was no venom in the action. Her eyes glittered with mirth. “That was years ago. I was a different vamp.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with a nod. “Much less soul-y, much more physical.”

He took a step closer to her. “Get me a body and I’ll show you just how  _ physical _ I can be.”

“Alright, let’s break it up you crazy kids,” Lorne said with a laugh. “Buffy, Spike, I’ll see you at eight?”

“I’m not going to your bloody party!” Spike called after the demon as he vanished around the corner. He turned to find Buffy watching him with her head cocked to one side. “What?”

“Not even if I’m there?” she asked, stepping closer. She batted her lashes at him tauntingly. “In a small, tight little bunny costume?”

Now there was an image that wouldn’t leave him anytime soon. “As much as I’d love to see that,” he said, voice low. “It’s not that kind of party, love. This is a corporate get together. More of a suit and dress kind of thing. Not so much a place for humanoid animals.”

“I’ll be sure to let the gang know.”

His brow furrowed. “The gang?”

“What, you thought I came alone?” She laughed. “I brought Dawn, Xander, and Andrew with me, but I didn’t tell them about you. I wasn’t sure how they’d react.”

“You want to tell them tonight.”

“I want to  _ show _ them tonight,” she corrected. “So you’d better be there.”

He groaned, rolling his neck. “You’re lucky I love you, pet.”

Buffy smiled broadly. “I’ll be here at eight o’clock sharp. You better not be late.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

\--------------------------------

If Buffy hadn’t been so focused on looking good, she might have noticed that eight o’clock sharp came and went. But she  _ was  _ focusing on how she looked because she wanted the satisfaction of watching Spike’s….well his jaw probably wouldn’t drop. She had never seen him do more than raise an eyebrow at her when she shocked him. She decided she didn’t want his jaw to drop and she didn’t want any movement in the eyebrow department. She wanted to watch his gaze rake over every inch of her, wanted to hear every thought that would flash behind his eyes when he caught a glimpse of her. Maybe if she was lucky, she’d be able to make his tongue curl behind his teeth.

Buffy twisted and turned in front of the floor length mirror attached to the inside of the closet door, running her hands over her dress. It was short and black and clung to her like a second skin. The thin straps rested loosely around her arms and she fought the urge to pull them up onto her bare shoulders, exposed due to the high ponytail Dawn had helped her arrange, the loose curls bouncing with every movement. Not her first choice of outfit for a Halloween party, but when she asked Angel for more details about the event, he had made it very clear that he had a lot riding on this party. If the Slayer was recognized by the wrong person the whole thing could go up in flames. Part of her wanted to test that theory out of spite since she was still pissed at him for telling his friends not to tell her about Spike, but a larger part of her knew that ruining the party was an excellent way to kiss any chance of non-ghosty Spike goodbye.

Besides, she doubted he’d pull a reverse Legally Blonde on her and if it meant she got to dress up, she’d bite.

“Wow.”

She looked in the mirror, eyes flicking over the reflection of Xander and the black suit he was filling out. “Wow yourself. Are Dawn and Andrew ready?”

“Ready!” Dawn chirped, appearing over Xander’s shoulder in a pale blue dress and silver heels that looked  _ very _ familiar. She could have sworn she hadn’t packed them, but….

“Are those my shoes?”

Dawn’s shoulders slouched and she pouted her lip. “Come on, Buffy, they match the dress so well! I’ll give them back.”

She waved her hands, grabbing her phone and putting it in her purse. “Whatever. Wear them, but don’t come to me if you twist your ankle because I  _ will _ say ‘I told you so’. How are we for time?”

“It’s eight thirty,” Dawn said. “When do we need to be there?”

Buffy winced. “Half an hour ago.” They all hesitated for a moment before they moved in unison for the door. “Where’s Andrew?”

“Talking to the driver,” Xander said. “I hope the limo’s still there.”

“It’s L.A. We’ll call a cab or something if it’s not.”

The guests they passed shot the trio strange looks as they called an elevator and Buffy fought the urge to make a snarky comment to the couple staring at the three of them.  _ Oh, you can be two adults dressed like Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf, but we’re the weird ones for being adults dressed up nice. Makes perfect sense. _

Buffy, Xander, and Dawn piled into the elevator in silence. Dawn was practically dancing in place, unable to keep the smile from her lips at the prospect of a party, and Buffy was close to joining in. She’d never been one for parties in the past, but a girl could dream. Maybe this one wouldn’t be a total disaster like every birthday for the past six years.

Andrew was already in the limo when they reached the car and he quickly scooted over so Dawn could slide in beside him, leaving Buffy and Xander the bench opposite them. “You clean up nicely,” Buffy said, impressed at Andrew’s pressed suit and nice shoes. She turned to the driver behind her. “Step on it, please? We’re kind of really late.” 

The car rolled to a stop in front of a large glass building fifteen minutes later. The chauffeur opened the door for them, helping Buffy and Dawn out of the car and she took a moment to wonder how much it had cost, then decided she didn’t care. She was sure whatever Angel paid was worth it.

Her friends followed Buffy into the building and came to an abrupt stop outside of the elevators when they reached the lobby of Wolfram and Hart. Music filled the space while a disco ball scattered rainbow beams of lights around the transformed space. People danced on a small wooden square separate from the drink tables and mingling crowds. A blonde girl in a sequined pink dress brushed past them, bobbing her head to the beat while she walked.

“Was that Harmony?” Xander asked incredulously, pointing at her as she stopped to talk to someone. “Do my eyes deceive me?”

“She’s Angel’s secretary now,” Buffy said, stretching to see who she was talking to and dropping back down in disappointment when it wasn’t a familiar face. “I forgot he mentioned that.”

“Hey, look at Dorothy and company adjusting to Oz.” She turned away from Harmony, finding a green skinned demon in a blue suit looking down at her while he twirled the gold scarf resting loosely over his shoulders around one hand. Two red horns poked out of his forehead, cracking the skin around it, and she was so caught off guard by his sudden appearance she missed the mirth in his red eyes. “You’re a little late to the party, but that’s alright. We weren’t properly introduced earlier.” He offered her his hand. “I’m Lorne, Head of the Entertainment Division.”

“Wolfram and Hart has an entertainment division?” Dawn asked. “Why would a law firm need that?”

“PR, Toto,” Lorne said with a wink. “Someone’s gotta do it.”

“I’m Buffy,” she said, taking his hand. “But you already knew that. These are my friends, Xander and Andrew, and my sister, Dawn.”

“Can I guess you’re looking for the Tin Man?” He nudged her shoulder playfully and she forced a laugh, letting her eyes skim the crowd for a glimpse of her vampire not-ghost. Not-ghost vampire? Soul of a souled vampire? None of them sounded right to her and she added that to the bottom of the list of reasons they needed to get Spike his body back.

“Where are they all, anyways?” she asked quickly, trying to direct Lorne away from the topic of people she was looking for at Wolfram and Hart. The last thing she wanted was for her friends to find out through someone that wasn’t Spike or herself. Preferably herself. Who knew what Spike would say to Xander once he saw him?

Lorne looked around and she silently hoped he could find Spike in this crowd of bodies. “Not sure. I’ve been busy mingling, you know? I think I saw Wes and Fred talking in some dark corner and Angel vanished with Eve not too long ago.”

“Eve?”

“Angel’s liaison to the senior partners.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath, ignoring the strange looks from her friends. “The Tin Man said he’d meet me here. Do you know where he is?”

“Sorry Dorothy. Haven’t seen him, but I’m sure they’ll all turn up eventually,” he said, patting her on the arm. “I’d love to stay and chat, but the work of a host is never done. It was nice meeting you all.”

Buffy waved as Lorne left, letting her shoulders drop once he was out of sight. She was feeling the beginnings of anxiety and decided to move in a vain attempt to make it go away. Where was Spike? He had promised her he’d meet her by the elevators so they could get introductions over with quickly. He wouldn’t just forget something like that, especially if it involved her and her sister.

_ Maybe he got bored _ , she tried to reason. Spike was an impatient man and they  _ had  _ been nearly an hour late. Maybe he got tired of waiting around and went off to annoy Angel or hang out with Fred and Wesley. Maybe he thought they wouldn’t show or that, in typical Scooby fashion, they’d be late for one reason or another. Maybe he-

What was she doing? She was Buffy Summers, Slayer comma the, and her and parties stopped agreeing with each other sometime between her seventeenth birthday when Spike and Dru sent her a severed arm and her twenty-first birthday when no one could leave her house. Something was definitely wrong.

“Buffy! Xander!”

“You know these people?”

A couple came to a stop in front of them, startling her from her thoughts and dragging her back to the present. “Wesley?” Dawn asked. “Oh my God, is that you?”

“And are you drunk?” Buffy flicked her gaze over him and the girl leaning on him. Her brown waves framed her face, somehow making her soft features seem even softer.

“We were just on our way to try and crack this,” Wesley said, his words slightly slurred. “Something weird is happening.”

“Really weird,” the girl agreed. She stumbled slightly as she leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially to Buffy, “I haven’t even had anything to drink.”

“And you don’t smell like booze,” the Slayer murmured.  _ And Spike is missing _ . “Weird.”

The girl nodded sagely. “Weird.”

“There’s Gunn.” Wesley pointed to where a bald African-American man in a tailored suit was standing with his back to the party, focused on something she couldn’t see. “Maybe he’ll know something.” He grabbed the girl and they started stumbling towards the man. 

“I’m gonna go dance,” Dawn said, already backing away. “Call me if anything interesting happens, okay? Well, more interesting than a drunk Wesley.”

“Will do, Dawnster,” Xander said, saluting her as she disappeared onto the dance floor.

“One party,” Buffy muttered, following after Wesley and the girl. “We can’t have one party. Why can’t we have one party?”

“Who was that guy?” Andrew asked, panning his camera around the room.

“My ex-Watcher,” she said, rolling her eyes at his antics. “He used to be really stuffy and smart. He had glasses and everything. Like a younger Giles. Looks like L.A. changed him.”

“And the girl?”

“I’m going to guess that was Fred,” Xander said. “The girl Willow talked about before Faith showed up in Sunnydale?”

“Probably,” Buffy murmured, coming to a stop across from probably-Fred. She folded her arms over her chest. “Any more weirdness?”

“Charles peed on my shoes,” Wesley said. “For no reason we can understand.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “Gross. And still very weird. Wesley, do you know any demons that could do something like this? Make people behave in a way that….” She trailed off as understanding dawned on her. “Oh no.”

“Buffy?” Xander asked. “You okay?”

She turned to Wesley, took a breath, and said, “Spike was supposed to meet us at the elevators but he wasn’t there. Is it possible whatever’s doing this could affect a ghost?”

“He’s not a ghost,” probably-Fred said emphatically. She stumbled slightly with the force of her statement and Buffy realized the new girl’s words were slurring worse than Wesley’s. “He’s a….he’s a  _ not ghost _ . Got it? He’s a not ghost.”

“Wait,” Xander said, holding up a hand. “Spike is alive?”

“He called me,” Buffy said quickly. “He’s….” She laughed, then shrugged helplessly. “He’s a not ghost. You can walk right through him, but he doesn’t have the qualifications that make a ghost a ghost.”

“He doesn’t have any ectoplasm,” probably-Fred supplied helpfully. “That’s what makes ghosts visible to us. But Spike doesn’t have any of that.”

“Oh my God,” Andrew gasped. “He’s like Gandalf the White returned from the dead after fighting the Balrog!” He was practically buzzing with eagerness at the prospect of Spike being back and Buffy had to wonder, not for the first time, if their reluctant companion had a bit of a crush on her boyfriend. 

_ Woah. Boyfriend? _ she thought to herself _ You thought he was dead for three months! _

_ True, _ she argued.  _ But I’ve been here for a month waiting for Fred to stop being overwhelmed so Spike can talk to her. And we talk every day, either in person or on the phone. And he said he wanted to kiss me after I told him I loved him. So we’re totally a thing. Right? _

“Spike isn’t important right now,” Wesley said, startling her out of her argument with herself so suddenly she worried for a moment she had been thinking out loud. “Buffy’s right. If whatever happened to us is happening to him, too, then this is a very powerful demon.”

“But as far as we know, you three are the only ones affected,” Xander said. “Spike might be perfectly fine. There’s no reason to wig out yet.”

“So what do you all have in common?” Buffy asked. “Anyone you all collectively pissed off? Any demon one of you made a deal with? Anyone you all talked to-”

“Lorne,” Wesley said, a pensive expression on his face. “He told Fred and I to get drunk.”

_ Aha! _ Buffy thought.  _ She  _ is _ Fred! Called it. _

“And he told me to stake my territory,” the man (had Wesley called him Gun?) said. Buffy took a moment to consider what a strange nickname Gun was, but then quickly dismissed the thought. After all, she was in love with a vampire nicknamed Spike. Was she really in any place to judge?

“So you’re peeing on everything,” Xander said. “Like an animal claiming land as its own.”

Buffy groaned. “God, this is like Willow’s will-be-done spell all over again. Okay.” She sighed. “You go find Lorne and do whatever you want with him, I don’t care. He’s  _ so  _ not my problem.”

“Where are you going?” Fred asked. “Don’t you want to see Angel?”

She bit back a retort, reminding herself that the woman was drunk out of her mind not of her own volition. “I’m going to find Spike. Xander, come it me. Andrew, keep Lorne away from my sister and for God’s sake put that camera away before I have to buy you a new one.”

“You’ve got it,” Andrew said with a small smile, putting the camera in a bag slung across his chest. “Tell Spike I say hi and that I’m glad he’s not dead even though he was dead when I knew him and that I-”

“Andrew,” Buffy snapped. “Go find my sister. Okay?”

“Right. Off to protect Princess Peach. Got it.”

She turned on her heel and wandered the party, standing on tiptoes and scanning the crowd for any sign of his familiar platinum head. Even in heels she had to strain, jumping on occasion to see over particularly tall demon’s heads. “So,” Xander said with feigned casualness. “Spike is back, huh? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I knew you’d all freak,” she said honestly. “I wasn’t sure you’d even let me come.”

“Let you come?”

She shot him a deadpan look. “Xander. We both know you’d try and stop me from coming to see him.”

“Who do you think I am? Angel?” he asked. “I might not like the guy and I might have questioned you in the past because of what he’s done to all of us, but your life is yours to live, Buffy. He cares about you and clearly you care about him. As your friend, I just want to see you safe and happy. If Spike can give that to you, who am I to stop you?”

She grabbed Xander and hugged him tightly. “I thought you’d be mad at me after everything.”

“He sacrificed himself to save the world, Buffy. To save  _ you _ . I can believe the guy’s changed.”

“And now we have to find him before he does something stupid.” She pulled away, standing on her toes again. “I can’t see him anywhere. Can you?”

“No….Oh, wait! I think I see him on the floor,” Xander said. Buffy followed his gaze and yep, that was Spike dancing next to Harmony, a smile on his face. “I didn’t know Spike could dance. Or be nice to Harmony.”

“Something’s wrong.” She grabbed Xander by the wrist, dragging him through the crowd with her until they were spit out behind the teenage vampire. Spike noticed them immediately, passing through Harmony and nodding for them to follow him back through the crowd. She obliged, gnawing on her bottom lip as Harmony’s protests faded under the music. Something wasn’t right with Spike and it was setting off mental alarms she didn’t even know she had.

They stopped by the elevators, right where he had agreed to meet them. There weren’t nearly as many people populating this area of the room, giving them some much needed privacy and the ability to talk without shouting at each other. “Is this a great party or what?” Spike finally said. Buffy shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “I don’t know why I was so reluctant to-”

“Spike, what the hell is wrong with you?”

The vampire’s gaze met Xander’s and Buffy readied herself to step in and stop the fight that had the potential to start. “Xander?” Spike asked. Slowly, a grin spread across his face. “Wow. You clean up good, mate. Hey, what happened to the eyepatch?”

“Glass eye,” he said, sounding a bit dazed.

“Now that….that’s brilliant.”

“Spike?” Buffy stepped forward, forcing him to look at her. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling great, Buffy,” he said with a smile. “You look amazing, by the way. If I could touch you, I’d-”

“Stop.” She held up a hand and inspected him again. He seemed as fine as he could be as a ghost, but he clearly wasn’t himself. “Something isn’t right with you. Have you talked to that demon, Lorne?”

“Lorne? Great guy. Saw me lurking against the wall and told me to think positive, enjoy the party.”

“And you just….did it?”

He shrugged. “What else was I supposed to do?”

Buffy turned to Xander and spoke in a low voice. “Go check up on the gang. I’ll watch over Spike and make sure he doesn’t, like, get back with Harmony or do something he’ll regret when this is fixed.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go,” she insisted. “Make sure things don’t get too weird.” They both shot a look at the vampire, eyes closed as he tapped his foot to the electro pop beat. “Well. Weird _ er _ .”

\---------------------------

“I’ve been trying to figure out what the deal is with the windows.”

Spike didn’t move from his spot in front of said windows, looking out at Los Angeles moving beneath him, but he did look over his shoulder at Buffy as she approached him. “It’s special glass,” he said. “Not sure what exactly that means, but it stops Angel from burning up which is all I need to know. Now do you want to get on and tell me whatever it is you’re going to tell me about the party?”

She laughed softly, shaking her head. “Do you have even an ounce of patience in your body?”

“Don’t have a body to have an ounce of patience in,” he said. “And never was a fan of the lead up. Just say it, pet.”

She went to nudge his shoulder and passed through him. He pretended it hadn’t happened and she seemed content to do the same. “I didn’t like seeing you like that,” she admitted, wrapping her arms around herself. He itched to pull her closer, assure her he was fine, and the longing quickly turned to frustration. He  _ needed  _ his body back. “It wigged me out. It was so not you and I just wanted to slap or shake you. Whatever would snap you out of it.”

“It seemed natural up here.” He tapped his temple with a finger. “Lorne said think positive, so I did. Simple.” She shuddered and he reached for her, pulling back before he could phase through her again. “But I’m alright. Wore off pretty quick.”

“I don’t like things getting in my head,” she said. “Remember that demon that made me think I was in an institution?” He nodded. He remembered it clearly, had carried the guilt for not staying with Buffy and making sure she took the antidote for longer than he’d care to admit. He hadn’t recognized it as guilt at the time, no soul and all, but he knew it was an emotion he didn’t normally feel and one he wasn’t keen on feeling again. “I hated that. Not knowing what was real and what wasn’t. Why do you think I was so frustrated with the First toying with you? I was watching one of my biggest…. _ things _ playing out on someone I cared about.” She took a breath. “I don’t like seeing you when you aren’t you.”

He cocked his head. “When have you ever seen me as anything other than myself?”

“That day Drusilla turned up trying to bring the old Spike back. And when the First was toying with you in the basement, making you see people who weren’t there. And when the trigger was in your brain and you would just….” She trailed off, looking away. “I’ve seen you as things other than yourself. And I didn’t like it.”

“Because it disconcerts you?”

“Because I love you. And I don’t want to see you as anyone other than who you are.”

He sighed, closed his eyes, and tried to find his focus. She didn’t speak even though he was certain she wanted to and he silently thanked her for that. It made everything easier when it was quiet and still. He focused on the darkness behind his eyelids, the soft buzzing of the air conditioning, the sound of her breathing. After a moment, everything around him slipped away until there was nothing but him and her. “Buffy,” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Close your eyes.”

He didn’t know if she did, but he heard her gasp softly when he wrapped his arms around her waist and slowly pulled her to his chest. She didn’t reach out to him, as though she was afraid of breaking this illusion of peace. She was just a young woman in love with him, he was just a young man in love with her, and he was holding her because he could. For a moment they could pretend that this wasn’t requiring every ounce of his concentration and that he could feel her the way she could feel him. They could pretend their love was enough..

“Oh my God.”

They both startled and his concentration slipped. Buffy fell forward as he became intangible once again, catching herself on the wall and pushing herself back up. “Dawn,” she said. “I….You didn’t see him last night, did you?”

“What the heck just happened?” she demanded, hands on her hips. Spike looked the girl up and down. She seemed different from when he had last seen her. Her hair was still long and her eyes were still bright but she held herself differently; like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, like she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in far too long if she’d even slept at all, like she’d finally learned the meaning of tragedy and she didn’t like it. She looked a bit like Buffy had in the days after her mother’s death.

When had Dawn Summers grown up?

“It looked like you were hugging her,” she said. “But then she fell through you like a-”

“Ghost?” he finished for her. “Yeah. That’s what I am, unfortunately.”

“But you were touching her.”

“If he focuses, he can touch things,” Buffy said. “But it requires concentration. Like, insane concentration.”

Dawn stepped closer to them, looking up at Spike with an expression he couldn’t parse out. “But you’re alive? You’re back for good? For real?”

“Yeah, Bit. I am.”

“Oh my God,” she squealed, dancing in place as she finally let her excitement take over. “I can’t believe you’re alive! I mean, you’re all Beetlejuice-y right now, but still! You’re not dust in the Sunnydale crater which is honestly the best outcome, even if you did have to die to get there. Just don’t go and get eaten by a sandworm, okay? Oh my God, are sandworms real? Was Beetlejuice based on a real story? You know what, don’t tell me. After that story about the demon you fought in Madrid, I don’t think I-”

“Dawnie,” Buffy said with a laugh. “Take a breath. He’s not going to blink out on you.” The  _ anymore _ was clear in the look she shot his way.

“It’s alright,” Spike said with a fond smile towards the younger Summers. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her boundless energy until she’d walked into the room since, through either Buffy or sheer luck, he hadn’t run into her last night.  _ Thank fuck, _ he thought to himself. If she had, he’d never live it down. “She’s all excited that big brother’s back. It’s understandable. I have that effect on women,” he added with a wink at Buffy.

Dawn giggled. “I missed you when you were dead.”

“You missed me when you  _ thought _ I was dead. At least, I hope you missed me for more than nineteen days.” He focused, took her hand, and squeezed gently, making her gasp. “I missed you, too, Bit.”

“You’ve been here since June?” Dawn asked quietly, squeezing back and letting his hand drop. “Why don’t you have a body again? Seems like this would be the one place that would be able to fix the whole incorporeality thing. Is that a word?”

Buffy rolled her eyes fondly. “Fred is-”

“No.” He cut Buffy off, turning to her apologetically. “She said there’s no way to get the parts again. They don’t exist.”

“There has to be a way,” Buffy insisted. “She’s going to keep working, right?”

“Her and Wesley are working on it.”

The Slayer nodded, pacing Angel’s office in thought. Dawn leaned against the window next to Spike and said nothing as they waited for Buffy to voice her plan. “Here’s what I’m thinking,” she said. “I’m going to take another look at the amulet. Spike, do you know how it got here?”

“The mail,” he said. “At least, that’s what Angel told me.”

“Dawn and I will look into it. I’ll have Xander and Andrew see what they can get out of everyone here about everything going on. Big bads, apocalypses, potential allies. If anything fun like that is happening, I want to know.”

“Buffy, you don’t know these people or this place,” Spike said. “Not like I know much more than you, but there’s a political game happening within this firm involving the prophecy-”

“What prophecy?”

“Souled vampire’s gonna be a major player in the next apocalypse,” he said with a shrug. “Once everything’s said and done, he gets to be human. They aren’t sure if it’s referring to me or Angel.”

“Would you want that?” Dawn asked. “I mean, after what Giles told us I can’t imagine why….” She let the sentence hang unfinished at the look Buffy shot her. “Oh. You haven’t told him.”

“Told me what?”

Buffy stared intently at the ground. He could tell she wanted it to swallow her whole. “I was going to wait until you had a body,” she said. “Dawn?”

“I’m gone.” The youngest Summers pulled Angel’s office doors shut behind her.

Buffy toyed with the cuff of her jacket in the ensuing silence, rubbing it between her thumb and index fingers. “Giles thinks that I have a longer lifespan than most people because of the whole Slayer strength and healing and everything. Obviously there’s, like, no proof because no Slayer has managed to live as long as I have, but he said he’s ninety-nine percent sure. He’s doing some more research but he said I’ll probably stop aging for a while in a few years and that the same might be true of Dawn because of the whole Summers blood thing-”

“I guess I’ll just have to let Angel win,” he said, cutting her off before she could spiral into half formed explanations and wild theories.

She finally looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. “You’d give up your humanity for me?”

“I’d give up everything for you, pet,” he said. “Besides, didn’t you just say you don’t like when I’m anything other than me?”

“I did.”

“Then I’d rather not risk returning to what I was before.” She nodded, but didn’t speak. He tilted his head, inspecting her. When it became clear he couldn’t find the problem on his own, he asked, “Something wrong?”

“Can you do that again?” Her voice was very quiet. “Hold me?”

“Yeah, love.” She allowed him a moment to focus again, relaxing into him once he had managed to make himself solid. “I can do that.”


	3. Faith, Threats, and Amulets

Buffy walked into the lab without announcing her presence, Dawn keeping pace behind her. Spike wasn’t with them, something she found strange considering they were talking to Fred and she seemed to be the only one of the Justice League, as the Scoobies had taken to calling them much to Andrew’s delight, that he could tolerate. A brunette in a shimmery top and skirt that Buffy had vaguely recognized as familiar (Evelyn? Eve? Eva? It had been a name starting with an E and she knew it had a V in it but she hadn’t paid much attention to Angel’s introductions during the cleanup following the party) had called him away from her and she had fought down a small rush of panic when he followed after the newcomer. She didn’t know what she was doing or where she was going. The layout of the law firm remained a mystery to her even after spending the past month within the walls to keep Spike company. Before he abandoned her to her search, he pointed one finger in the direction she was supposed to head. Her panic had fled and her resolve returned when Dawn grabbed her arm and started leading her away.

They needed to find the amulet. Now.

“Do you know where it is?” Dawn had asked Spike before Evelyn/Eve/Eva had snatched him away

“Don’t have a clue,” he admitted. “They keep it hidden. Probably don’t want me having it since I’d just hide it so they can’t get rid of me.”

Buffy thought her heart had dropped out of her body. “The amulet can get rid of you?”

“If it’s destroyed on consecrated ground, I disappear,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. If she’d been able to, Buffy thought she might have strangled him for being so calm at the prospect of her losing him for a second time. “Goodbye Los Angeles, hello unnamed hell dimension.”

“Can you give us some places to start?”

He looked to the ceiling in thought. “Captain Forehead’s office is a good bet. Wesley’s office, maybe. I think there’s a vault somewhere with magical artifacts. Might even be a bloody department for it for all I know.”

“We can’t get into any of those places,” Buffy had said. “Do you have any suggestions that won’t involve black leather and rope?”

Spike arched a brow. “Watch that kind of talk in front of the Bit. Wouldn’t want her to know what her big sis is getting up to with the boss man in exchange for information.”

“I happen to recall _you_ telling me I should invest in thigh highs. Is the attraction to leather a vampire thing or is it just you two?”

He stepped closer to her and she was hit with such a lack of scent that she almost deflated right there. “Nice comeback. Try it again without the blush.”

“Guys,” Dawn said. Buffy looked to her sister, immediately stepping back from Spike. The vampire only chuckled. “We have things to do. You can eyefuck each other later.”

“Dawnie,” Buffy hissed, feeling the burning in her face grow warmer. “Language.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Spike, do you have any other suggestions or not?”

“The lab.” He didn’t take his eyes off of her as he responded to her sister. “It’s the only other place I can think of. If it’s not there, you might need to invest in that leather and rope. But give me a heads up. A man needs some time to prepare for something like that.”

Now, Buffy and Dawn walked into the lab looking for anywhere the amulet could have been hidden. Being a lab, it was pristine and left few hiding spots, but it was the only easily accessible space Spike had given them to look and dammit now she was thinking about leather and rope. Would she be able to find thigh highs before he got his body back? She made a mental note to look into it. “Can I help you?” a cheerful voice asked from behind them.

“Yeah I’m looking for-” She stopped abruptly, finding herself facing the drunk girl who had been leaning on Wesley at the Halloween party. She had traded in her dress and heels for a lab coat and ponytail but she was still easily recognizable as the same young woman. “Oh. You were….On Halloween-”

“Oh, that.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with an uncomfortable smile. “I’m sorry about that. I promise I’m usually _much_ more put together.”

“You did say you hadn’t anything to drink,” Buffy said, offering the girl a smile. She took the olive branch gratefully, giving the Slayer a relieved smile of her own. “I don’t think we were ever properly introduced. I’m Buffy and this is my sister, Dawn.”

Dawn waved. “Hey.”

“I’m Winifred, but everyone calls me Fred. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Fred’s smile warmed and she relaxed her stance, letting her spine lose its rigidness and resting her weight on one hip. “Spike talks about you both all the time.”

“He talks about me?” Dawn asked, pushing up on her toes with a smile. “Really? What does he say?”

The uncomfortable smile returned. “Oh, I don’t know if I should-”

Dawn’s own smile slipped. “It was that bad, huh?”

“Oh, no, nothing bad,” Fred said quickly. “He thinks of you like a little sister. He cares about you a lot. Both of you.”

Buffy pursed her lips, shifting her weight from side to side. Did she want to know what he’d said about her to this woman? Was it something she’d regret learning someone else knew about? “What did he tell you about me?” she asked, caving to her curiosity.

Fred rested a hand on her shoulder with a soft smile. Buffy was beginning to realize that Fred was a very smiley woman and wondered if she hid her intelligence behind it, using it like a shield so others would underestimate the brains behind a pretty face. “You’re very lucky to have him, Buffy.”

“What did he say?”

“It was just after he figured out he could touch things. We were talking in my office and he said that if something went wrong and he ended up blinking out one day before he could see you, he wanted someone to know that holding you might be the closest he’ll ever get to heaven.”

“He said-”

“He said the ‘night before everything’” she made air quotes around the clipboard “whatever that means, was the best night of his life and that as long as you knew that, he could die for a third time happy.” Panic flickered across her face for a moment. “Don’t tell him I told you that. I don’t think I was supposed to unless he died and couldn’t say it himself.”

Buffy swallowed, blinking back tears. “Right,” she said, clearing her throat a bit louder than necessary. “Believe it or not, we didn’t come to talk about Spike. Do you still have the amulet?”

“Well, obviously,” she said with a laugh that sounded relieved at the change in topic. “Spike would probably be gone if we didn’t. Why? Do you want to look it over?”

“Just wanted to see if there was something we missed,” Dawn chimed in, seeming to sense that Buffy needed a moment to compose herself. God, she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to bring him back to the hotel room and lay next to him on the bed and fall asleep to the steady sound of his breathing or the low rumble of his voice in her ear. She wanted to wake up to him next to her and know that unlike every other guy she had ever slept with, he wouldn’t leave her. She wanted as much time as she could get with him regardless of if it was ten, a hundred, or a thousand years.

“Sure.” Fred’s voice snapped Buffy out of her reverie, answering a question Buffy hadn’t heard. “Give me a sec and I’ll go get it.” She beelined for the stairs leading to her office, rifling through drawers behind her desk for a moment before she returned holding a bright orange envelope and handed it to Dawn with a flourish. “Here you go.”

“What’s with the packaging?” Dawn asked with a laugh, taking it from Fred and passing it to Buffy. She turned the envelope over and over, looking for any sign of magic on it. She paused at the name and address on the front, written in a thick black sharpie. Strangely, the handwriting looked familiar to her but she couldn’t place where she knew it from. Notes borrowed at Sunnydale High? Her brief time in college lectures? A quote on someone’s dorm room whiteboard?

“It’s how it got here.” The scientist shrugged. “We’re still not sure how we ended up with it. We all just kind of assumed it was the Powers That Be and moved on.”

_Here’s my cell. Call me whenever. I promise I’ll answer._ “It wasn’t the Powers That Be,” Buffy said. The pieces were beginning to connect in her mind, but she felt like a few had been put in the wrong place. She was determined to get answers however she had to, but she suspected it wouldn’t take much work. If she was right, one phone call would be enough to solve this particular mystery. “Thanks for the amulet. I’ll get it back to you soon.”

“Keep it,” Fred said. “Seriously. I think Spike would want you to be the one watching over it. He trusts you more than any of us.”

“Why are you doing all of this?” she blurted out. “I mean, I appreciate it. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. But you don’t even know me.”

Fred bit her lip, shrugging one shoulder. “Let’s say I have a soft spot for anyone trapped somewhere they don’t want to be.”

Buffy nodded, offering her most sincere smile. “Thank you, Fred. I won’t forget this.”

“Anytime.”

\--------------------------------------

Not for the first time since he’d come back, Spike longed for a cigarette.

Eve hadn’t led him into Angel’s office like he had thought she would, instead bringing him around the corner and through the maze of hallways. She didn’t seem to be heading anywhere in particular and he suspected she was waiting for him to break and ask where they were going. Well, he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. He could be patient.

_Patient? More like stubborn_ , a voice that sounded suspiciously like Buffy scoffed. He was inclined to agree, but it didn’t change the sentiment. Whether through patience or sheer stubbornness, he wouldn’t speak first. He could wait, entertained by a replay of his conversation with Buffy just before Eve showed up. It was nice to have that easy camaraderie back between them, to have her run with his teasing comments rather than shut him down with an insult that would inevitably sting even though he knew it shouldn’t.

“So, I know this is a strange request,” Eve finally said. Spike smirked, pushing his hands into his coat pockets. _Checkmate, bitch. I win._ “But the senior partners want the amulet.”

“Don’t have it,” he said simply.

“I know,” she said. “It’s not like you could hold it anyways. If you can’t keep that phone Buffy gave you on your person, how could you have the amulet?”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. He doubted Buffy had even spoken to the girl and he knew Fred wouldn’t have told them about the phone he’d asked her to carry. _Temporarily,_ he’d insisted. _I just need you to hold onto it until I can do it myself._ She’d agreed with little resistance, slipping it into her lab coat pocket and pressing a finger to her lips with a wink. “How do you know about the phone?” he asked Eve.

“I know a lot of things.”

“But not where a shiny gem is?”

“It’s a magical artifact. Not so easy to track.”

“Right,” he scoffed. “Why do the senior partners even want that piece of junk? It’s useless now that it’s been used. The only reason they’d need it is to kill me, yeah?”

“They just want to do some tests on it,” she said, shrugging one shoulder. “I don’t know the full extent. They don’t tell me everything.”

“I thought you knew a lot of things.”

“I don’t have time for this.” A hint of impatience crept into her voice. Oh, this was fun. Maybe he could get her to fully blow up at him. “Okay? I don’t have time for your games.”

“Hasn’t anyone told you? Playing games is one of my specialties.”

“Where’s the amulet, Spike?”

“Even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you.”

It took him a moment to realize she had stopped walking. He turned around to find her glaring at him, a sight more amusing than intimidating due to her slight stature. “You’re being difficult.”

Spike felt his patience wear out as he took a step towards her. Fear flickered across her face and a part of him he had thought long dead got satisfaction from knowing he still had that effect even when incorporeal. “I’m being honest you bloody twit,” he snapped. “I don’t know where your sodding necklace is. Go bother someone else.”

“I’m trying to help you.”

“You’re trying to kill me,” he said. “Do you think I don’t see right through you? The schoolgirl act may be working on the great poof but it’s not enough to fool me.”

“You don’t understand-”

He didn’t wait around to see what he didn’t understand, walking through her and continuing straight through office after office until he found himself hopelessly lost and completely without anyone he knew around him.

Perfect.

\--------------------------------------

The phone rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And rang.

_So much for answering if I called_ , Buffy thought bitterly. She was just about to give up when the ringing stopped and someone answered. “Hello?”

“How did you find the necklace?”

“You know, civilized people say hello back.”

She let out a sigh through her nose and forced an obviously fake pep into her voice. “Hello. How are you doing? How’s the wife and kids?”

“Well, not a wife yet and there aren’t any kids either but-”

“Give me that,” someone in the background said. There was a short conversation she couldn’t make out before she heard the sounds of bed springs, a content sigh much closer to the receiver, and, “Hey B. Good to hear from you.”

“Faith.” She paced Wesley’s office, generously offered to her when she told him she needed someplace private to call his old charge. He stepped out without argument, saying he had been meaning to talk to Fred about Spike all day. It was a blatant lie but she appreciated it nonetheless.“How’ve you been?”

“Five by five,” she said, the smile evident in her tone and wow did Buffy _miss_ Faith? 

“I see you’re still with Wood.” She paused. “Or I guess I should say I _hear_ you’re still with Wood.”

Faith chuckled softly “Yeah. Robin’s a pretty good guy. Full of surprises, too.”

“I’m glad you’re giving him a chance.”

“So am I,” the other Slayer said. “But you aren’t calling to hear all the disgusting details of my newfound love life. What’s up?”

Well, might as well cut to the chase. “The necklace,” she said. “How did you find it?”

She could practically hear Faith’s shrug. “Robin and I wanted to swing by, make sure no one was going looking for anything to reopen the hellmouth and wouldn’t you know it, there was a cult trying to set up shop. It had only been, like, a week but to be honest I was surprised it had taken that long.”

“Did you kill them?”

“Didn’t need to. They ran when they saw our car and left the shiny little gem sitting in the middle of the crater. Guess it was so pure the hellmouth had to spit it out.” Faith laughed at her own joke. “Robin suggested we grab it and send it to-”

“Angel,” Buffy finished. “I know. Why didn’t you send it to me?”

“I swear, I wanted to. I don’t know the whole story with you and Spike, but I thought you’d want it after everything that went down. Thing was, I didn’t have an address and there was no guarantee the one I got would be the one you’d be at when it arrived. You move around so much, B, I figured Angel was a better bet. Heard he’d just been made CEO and thought he could give Wesley the resources to look it over, see if anything was weird with it.”

“And if there was anything bad they’d tell you,” she said, Faith’s plan suddenly becoming clear to her. “And then you could tell me.”

“Exactly.”

“That’s a great plan except they didn’t even know you sent it,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “I recognized your handwriting once I saw the envelope.”

“Damn. I thought they’d be smarter than that.”

“You overestimate them,” she said dryly.

“Maybe just a little,” Faith agreed. “So you’re calling because something happened, right?”

“Yeah. Something happened.”

“Bad?”

“That depends. Do you consider Spike coming back as a ghost because his soul was trapped in the amulet bad?” Faith laughed. “I’m glad that’s funny to you.”

“It’s not,” she said through her laughter. “It’s not. It’s just….God, only you could have this fucked up of a love life, B. You finally get the guy back and you can’t even screw him?”

“We’re working on it,” Buffy said. “And hey, for what it’s worth, I’m glad things are working for you and Wood. I kind of assumed you were here, but I guess you aren’t.”

“Where’s here these days?”

“L.A.”

“You’re in L.A.?”

She nodded. Realizing Faith couldn’t see her she said, “Yes. I am. Where are you?”

“Cleveland, baby. Figured we’d hang around the other hellmouth and keep all the baddies in check. Robin got a job as principal again and I’m working-”

“Woah. Someone pinch me. Faith Lehane is _working_?”

“I’m working as a personal trainer at a gym,” she said, laughter still coloring her voice. It hadn’t taken long for Buffy to forget just how carefree Faith was when things were good, how easily the other girl laughed. It was a nice change from Angel’s doom and gloom attitude that seemed to affect almost everyone around him. “You gotta admit, it’s better than hanging at some stuffy law firm. Does anyone there even know why Angel was given the amulet in the first place?”

“You mean, like, did whoever gave it to him know what would happen?” Buffy asked. The thought had occurred to her and she had talked it over with Spike, but he didn’t have many details. He knew that Angel was given the necklace by Wolfram and Hart, but beyond that neither of them knew much. “Not sure. He was given it by the firm, but-”

“Well, shit. You’d better watch your back. Or at the very least, your boyfriend’s back. If they wanted Angel gone and know they failed-”

“Then they might try again,” she finished. “Yeah. I’ll talk to Angel, see what he thinks about all of this.”

“Smart girl. Good luck with your boyfriend.”

She smiled. “Thanks for bringing him back to me.”

“Keep in touch B.”

“I will.”

“And hey. Say the word and we’re there.”

“I know.” Faith hung up, leaving her standing alone in Wesley’s office with a task she didn’t want to complete. She took a moment to look out at the city below her, so much more full of life than Sunnydale had been. People talking and walking and feeling so loudly the city echoed their very existence. It wasn’t something she thought she could handle much longer. She much preferred small town living to the big city skyscrapers she was walking among now.

_Enough stalling_ , she chided herself, turning away from the window. She took a deep breath and stalked out of Wesley’s office. She needed to talk to Angel.

\-------------------------------

“So Faith sent the amulet?”

“Yep.” Buffy nodded, tracking Angel with her eyes as he paced the middle of the room. She had pushed aside the clutter on his desk and hopped up onto it, running the chain of the necklace through her fingers over and over again. She knew Dawn had wanted to be here for this conversation, but Buffy wasn’t sure where it would lead and she couldn’t risk putting her sister in danger. Again. Thankfully, the youngest Summers hadn’t put up too much of a fight when Xander came to pick her up. “And if I break this, Spike dies?”

“Only if it’s on consecrated ground,” Angel said. “Which Wolfram and Hart isn’t built on. Spike is perfectly safe as long as the amulet stays here.”

“Good.” She felt part of herself relax. “That’s good.”

“So, what? You think the senior partners were trying to get rid of me?”

“I’d suspected it and talked to Spike about it but I thought I might just be overthinking everything.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Faith asked me why you got the amulet in the first place.” She smiled. “I realized maybe I wasn’t overthinking things enough.”

“You’re going after the senior partners on the word of _Faith_ and _Spike_?”

She sighed. “Come on, Angel, think. Has there been anyone new to Wolfram and Hart? Anyone suddenly in your inner circle that wasn’t before you got the amulet?”

He stopped pacing. “Eve. She just sort of….showed up one day. You think she has something to do with this?”

“Here’s what I think, Angel,” Buffy said, tossing her head and letting her hair fall over one shoulder. “I think Wolfram and Hart needed you gone. You were causing them problems so they figured hey, let’s offer him the CEO position and with it, a nice amulet that will get him out of our hair. Now you’re dead, your group has no leader, and the CEO position is open again. It’s a win-win-win situation for them.”

“But I didn’t use the amulet. Spike did.”

She raised an eyebrow. “How would they know I had another option?”

“I guess they wouldn’t.” Angel resumed his pacing, waving to her. “Keep going.”

She swallowed back her irritation. “So you’re alive which obviously wasn’t what they intended. So what do they do? They try a different tactic. Make you trust one of theirs and then have that person take you out. Make it look like an accident.”

“They didn’t think the necklace would come back,” Angel said, continuing her train of thought. “They thought it had been destroyed and that that meant I’d never know what was supposed to happen to me.”

“Exactly.”

“Where’s Eve now?”

“Last I heard she was with Spike,” Buffy said with a shrug. “It’s not like she can do anything to him.” She froze, suddenly looking at Angel in horror. “She can’t do anything to him, right?”

“Hey.” He crossed the room, gripping her shoulders tightly. “Spike will be fine, okay? It seems like corporeal beings can’t hurt him for the moment.”

She nodded, swallowing down the lump in her throat as she tried to reassure herself that he was right. Spike would be okay. And even if Eve did try something, he could more than handle himself. He would be-

She froze as Angel ran his hands slowly off her shoulders and down her arms. “What are you doing?”

“I just….” He stopped with his hands still gripping her forearms and she wondered how it was possible for a cold touch to feel like it was burning her. “I thought that maybe it was all a show, you know? You said when you finished baking-”

“I never said I’d come for you.” Had she said she’d come for him? Crap. She couldn’t remember. Everything had been so crazy and she’d just wanted to go home. She could still clearly see herself walking down the basement stairs and finding Spike pummeling the poor punching bag hanging from the ceiling. She hadn’t realized it at the time, but after Sunnydale had been swallowed up she finally understood why he’d been so stung. Yet again, he was losing his girl to Angel and yet again, he was going to look the other way because he loved her and didn’t care how he had her as long as he did. She had nearly broken down the night she figured it out as another item was added to the list of things she felt guilty about doing to him. “I’m in love with Spike. I was then and I am now.”

“You said you loved me, once.”

“Did you listen to anything I said when I first walked in here?” she demanded, pushing off the desk and sending him recoiling back a few steps. Her temper was sparking and the walls were thin but she didn’t care who heard her. Maybe Spike would be coming back and he’d get to see round two: unwanted advances edition. “Angel, I’m not here for you. You need to get over whatever we had.”

“But the baking-”

“Some people like to eat raw cookie dough,” she said, cutting him off. His brow furrowed and now she had to find a way to explain what she meant. This really wasn’t the best metaphor. “Some people like it better raw, some people like it raw just as much as they like it baked, and some people don’t like it raw at all.” She stalked forward until she was directly in front of him. She still had to crane her neck to look him in the eye, but the heeled boots she’d chosen gave her a few much needed inches. “Parker didn’t even want to try raw cookie dough. Riley didn’t want to risk letting it near the oven. Spike liked it raw and he was patient when it went in the oven and dammit, he likes baked cookies even better than cookie dough.” She leaned as close to him as she dared. “How do you like your cookie dough, Angel?”

“Buffy-”

She pocketed the amulet, turned on her heel, and stalked towards the door. “Figure out what to do with Eve on your own.”

“You aren’t going to help?”

She stood in the doorway with her back to him and shrugged, smiling. “Not my problem. Just get rid of her before she does something you regret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I’m not just screaming into the void and people are actually reading this? That’s wild. Thanks to everyone who checked out the first two chapters!
> 
> Side note: One of the things that really frustrated me about Angel season 5 is that by having the Powers That Be send the amulet, it set the story up for there to be a point to bringing Spike back and there just….wasn’t. I kept waiting for the show to go "see? This is why Spike needs to be here" and it never came. Thus, this chapter's existence (and the introduction of Faith and Wood to the story)!


	4. Fire

Outside of Angel’s office, Spike thought he might be losing his mind all over again. He sat on the floor behind Harmony’s desk, lounging against the wall with one leg stretched out and the other bent, his arm propped up on his knee. His fingers itched for a cigarette again and he took a moment to consider how unfair it was that even as a not-ghost he grew antsy quickly. He hadn’t yet figured out how to dispel his energy since his usual ways were all off the table. Drinking. Smoking. Fighting.

Buffy.

The voices in Angel’s office picked up again and he definitely didn’t pause to listen. He certainly hadn’t been listening earlier to Angel’s mutterings about cookie dough that had him wondering if his grandsire was joining him in the land of the insane and he definitely wasn’t now listening to him accuse Eve of attempting to kill him. 

“Spike. Focus.”

He blinked, realizing he had been staring at the office window as though he could see through the blinds. Slowly, he dragged his gaze back to the vampire looking at him expectantly. He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to play this game with Harmony but for some reason he struck up a conversation with her that led to her offering him a spot behind her desk to hide out until someone he actually gave a damn about showed up. He hadn’t seen Buffy all day and he knew better than to bother Fred when she was busy. He’d been tempted to go and visit Dawn, but wasn’t sure Xander would appreciate his presence and opted instead to stay in his safe zone.

He paused, thought about it some more, and decided that yes, for the time being Angel was synonymous with safe.  _ Bloody hell _ , he thought bitterly.  _ When did Captain Forehead become my sanctuary? _

“Uh, Spike? Hello? Anyone home?”

He batted away the hand she was waving in his face. “Is it bigger than a breadbox?” he asked, uninterested. 

Harmony turned back to her desk, happy to have regained his attention. She dragged a blue glitter pen across a notepad, doodling swirls while they talked. “No,” she said, dragging the word out.

“So it’s smaller than a breadbox.”

She giggled. “Nope.”

Spike rolled his eyes, gently knocking the back of his head against the wall. Why he didn’t pass through floors or walls was beyond him, but he suspected that, much like everything else that came with being a not-ghost, it had to do with his will. If he didn’t want to go through the floor or wall, he wouldn’t. Simple. “Harm, you’ve done this before.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yes you have, you bimbo. It’s a bloody breadbox.”

She swiveled her chair from side to side, pouting her bottom lip at him. “Fine.  _ You _ think of something.”

From Angel’s office he heard the sound of paper ripping and an anguished cry. “Done.”

“Really? That fast?”

“It isn’t that hard to think of an object,” he said. Why he had ever wasted time on this bint….He knew he had been hurting after Dru but God, had he really been  _ that _ desperate?

“Okay, fine. Is it an animal?”

He opened his mouth to respond and snapped it shut when he heard Angel’s office door slam. Harmony stood from her chair, scoffed, and dropped back into it with a sigh. “What was that?”

“How should I know? I wasn’t in there.”

Gritting his teeth together, he tried again. “Who came out of the office, Harm?”

“Oh. Eve. Seems pretty upset too. That mascara is definitely going to run if she keeps crying like that.” Harmony turned back to him expectantly. 

“Think Angel got rid of her?” he asked. He imagined the other vampire had. Spike knew that if  _ he  _ suspected someone was going to kill him, he would have gotten rid of them. Though, depending on who it was and why, probably not in as nice a way.

“I hope not,” Harmony said. “I hate that Fred is, like, the only other girl in the office. I need more ladies around, you know? The testosterone in here is at toxic levels.”

“Right,” he muttered, only partially paying attention as he considered what the ramifications of firing Eve would be. How long would it take for the senior partners to send a new assassin to replace her?

“Whatever. I’m sure it’s fine.” Harmony clapped her hands, startling him back to attention. “So. Is it an animal?”

\--------------------------------

Buffy dropped down on the white hotel sofa, kicked her feet up, propped her head up on the arm of the chair, and only felt slightly bad about how she was most definitely turning the white fabric gray. Only slightly, however, because really it was the hotel’s fault for choosing white decor in the first place. Blankets, sheets, pillows, towels, furniture, walls; it all left Buffy feeling like she was a drawing on a whiteboard. What if someone brought their kids with them? The suite would turn into their own personal canvas.

She rolled onto her side to grab the remote from the small table in front of her (black, not white, much to her glee) and ignored Dawn’s complaints from the bathroom attached to the bedroom about just picking a channel while she clicked through TV show after movie after commercial. Buffy had wanted to take a shower, but her sister had insisted that if they didn’t have much time left in the suite, she was going to get a hot bath with lots of bubbles like they always did in the movies. Thus, Buffy was stuck channel surfing on the couch and listening to the sound of Xander and Andrew debating some comic book something or other on the other side of the wall while she waited for her sister to free up the bathroom.

“Well, don’t you look like the picture of comfort?”

She startled, falling off the couch with a yelp and landing on the not all that comfortable carpet. She glanced down quickly and yep, white and begging for some toddler to spill their apple juice on it. “I didn’t know you’d be stopping by.”

“Neither did I,” Spike admitted, watching her sit up with a smirk. “I’d ask if you need a hand, but I’m not sure I could give it to you.”

“You’re pretty good at it,” she said. Buffy pulled herself back onto the couch, patting the empty spot next to her. He sat wordlessly and leaned back as though he was relaxing into the sofa. She tilted her head and watched him, running a hand over the back where he should be affecting the fabric. There were no creases to indicate anything was there but there Spike was, sitting on the couch next to her. Strange. Magic would never cease to twist her brain. “You can pick up things without needing to concentrate too much.”

“I’d rather just have my body back.”

“Agreed.” She hated being so close to him and yet still feeling so far away. She wanted to reach out and let him hold her, let his familiar scent of leather, cigarette smoke, and something she’d never been able to pinpoint but was distinctly  _ Spike _ wash over her. “So, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, but a call would have been nice. Dawn’s in the bath and she probably would have gotten out earlier if she’d known.”

“A man can only play twenty questions with Harmony and listen to Angel’s ramblings for so long before he has to leave,” he answered dryly. “Not like I had anywhere else to go.”

“You played twenty questions with Harmony?”

His eyes rolled up to the ceiling. “We did it sometimes at the crypt when she was there. She’s bloody awful at it, but she insisted and I had nothing better to do. Then Angel started going on about patience and cookie dough. It was entertaining to hear for the first couple minutes but he just went on and on-”

“That’s my fault,” she said, pleased that he was still bothered by their conversation hours after it had happened. “I talked to him before I took off. It was supposed to be about the amulet but then Angel was Angel so….” She rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

“What’d you find?”

“Faith sent it,” she said. “Faith and Wood. They wanted to send it to me but they weren’t sure where I’d be so Angel was the next obvious choice since the firm is kind of a permanent address.”

“Did they know?” he asked. “That I was….”

She shook her head. “She said they had no idea. But I talked to Angel about it. I think Eve is trying to assassinate him on behalf of the senior partners.”

“He fired her,” Spike said. “At least, I’m pretty sure he did. Right before I came over here. Said Wesley and Gunn found some kind of demon in a box at her place.”

“What, like a Jack in the box?” He shot her a strange look and she rolled her eyes. “Kidding. So Eve is gone?”

“Eve is gone.”

“Awesome. Now we can focus on getting you back to normal.”

Something in his eyes softened and she thought he leaned a little closer to her. It was hard to tell when he wasn’t making any indents on the couch and she couldn’t sense him the way she normally could. “I’d like that.”

“Hey, Buffy? Do you know where my-” Dawn froze in the doorway between the bedroom and the living room, her face draining of color when she saw Spike. She pulled her white hotel robe tighter around herself while her hair dripped water onto the carpet. Buffy could see the small mark it would make and wondered, yet again, what the deal was with hotels and white. Was it her Slayerness making her realize how impractical it was, or had the staff figured it out too? “You didn’t tell me Spike would be here.”

Buffy shrugged. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s alright, Nibblet,” he said with a smile. “No need to be embarrassed. I’ve seen your big sis in-”

“Some interesting outfits,” Buffy finished quickly, shooting him a look. He only smiled at her, his tongue curling behind his teeth and silently letting her know he knew exactly what he was doing. She would have grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it if she could and the eyebrow raise that accompanied his smile made it clear he knew that, too.

“Buffy,” Dawn said, planting a hand on a cocked out hip. “I thought we were past the whole ‘Dawn can’t know about sex’ thing.”

“We were. We are. But only when it doesn’t involve me.”

“You want me to think you never have sex?”

Buffy could feel her face burning. She didn’t look at Spike but she knew he was loving every second of this. “Well, I-I know that you know I do. But I haven’t in a long time.”

“No?”

“No,” she repeated. Something flickered across Spike’s face that looked suspiciously like regret and she quickly added, “I thought Spike was dead and before that there wasn’t a time or place. Too many people in the house.”

“Willow and Kennedy found time,” Dawn pointed out.

“Dawn, can we not talk about my sex life? Go get dressed and we can head out.”

Spike cocked his head. “Head out where?”

“We’re meeting Xander and Andrew for dinner in, like, twenty minutes. It might end up just being us two, though. The boys seem pretty deep into an argument.”

Spike didn’t respond, eyes barely moving as he scanned her face. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for and she wished she could reach out to physically reassure him that everything was okay. “Look, about what Dawn said-”

“I didn’t want to, Spike,” she said softly. “I had enough other stuff on my plate and there was never really a time and those nights that there was time I didn’t want to. I just wanted you to hold me and let me think for a night that maybe everything would be okay. I just wanted the world to stop spinning for a minute.”

“Then you must hate the City of Angels,” he said. “Nothing ever stops here.”

She made a face. “I know. I can’t wait to get back to Europe. I think….I think I’m going to leave things up to Giles from now on.”

“What do you mean?”

She had thought about this extensively on the plane, and in the hotel room, and in the cab, and pretty much everywhere she had been since Spike hung up the phone on her that night, but she had never voiced it out loud. It seemed fitting that it would be Spike she pitched it to first. “I’ll still be the Slayer,” she said. “Obviously. I’ve tried quitting before and it never works.”

“It will always be a part of you,” he said. “You were  _ the _ Slayer for so long. The first in this bizarre world of a thousand Slayers. You’ll always be  _ a  _ Slayer, but you aren’t  _ the _ Slayer. Not anymore.”

“Not anymore,” she repeated with a nod. “But that’s okay. I’ll still go around and protect the town from vamps or whatever goes bump in the night over there, but that’s it. I’m done rounding up new Slayers and trying to train them. I’m done stopping apocalypses. Giles and the Council can handle it from here on out.”

“Where are you going to settle down?”

“Giles has a giant house in England,” she said. “Westbury. We stayed there for a few days when we were looking for an activated Potential. The place kind of reminds me of something from an old Victorian novel. I think it has, like, eight bedrooms and probably, like, five bathrooms. A giant dining room and a living room with a fireplace. It’s perfect for all of us.”

“How’d he get enough money for that?”

“The Watcher’s Council pays Giles an exorbitant amount of money. That’s what happens when you kind of completely rebuild a society from nothing. He’s paying for all of this, too.”

“So you want to settle down in England with Rupert and Willow, help out when you’re needed, but do nothing more than that?”

Buffy sighed. Did she really have to spell it all out for him? “I want to get you a body. I want you to come to England with me. I want to share a bed with you at night and wake up next to you in the morning. I want you to go with me to hunt baddies and help me and Giles with research. I want you to be friends with my friends and a brother to Dawn and a boyfriend to me. I want to stop being Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy the Trainer of Slayers, Buffy the girl who can never get a job because of said Slayer-ness. I want to just be Buffy.  _ A  _ girl, not  _ the _ girl.”

“ _ A _ girl in love with a vampire?”

“You missed something important.”

“Oh yeah?”

“See, that’s the only instance where me being the Slayer will be important. As the Slayer I can handle whatever a relationship with a vampire throws at me.” She smiled at him in the hopes she could coax one out of him. It worked and she felt her own smile grow. “It makes sense, right? Yeah, I’m supposed to hunt the vampires and slay the vampires and all that crap with the vampires but no human would be able to keep up with me and my life. I learned that with Riley.”

“You had Angel-”

“Don’t compare yourself to him,” she said quickly. “You’re not Angel and that’s a  _ good _ thing. I love  _ you _ , Spike. You were the only one who was ever able to keep up. You were the only one who wanted me to bake.” 

He leaned away from her, examining her with a puzzled expression. “Why do I want you to bake?”

She waved a hand in dismissal. “It was a bad metaphor I used with Angel before the fight with the First. Let me try and think of….Oh! Okay!” She shifted in her seat to better face him. “So Riley and I were like a sparkler. It’s pretty, it’s flashy, it makes you happy for a little bit but then it burns out. Angel and I were like….like fireworks. I never knew when he was going to show up but when he did, we exploded. We were bright and colorful and hot until we fizzled out. Sparklers and fireworks are dangerous because they can burn you really easily, but you still take the risk and play with them. In the end, all three of us got burned.

“And then there’s us. We’re a bonfire. Big and bright and warm. You feel comfortable sitting around it. It’s steady. It takes hours to burn out and if you keep adding fuel it will just burn and burn and….and Spike, I’ve wanted to burn for so long. I’ve wanted to burn without fizzling out and for such a long time I thought we were going to be fireworks. Bright, colorful, great while we lasted, then gone. And then at some point I realized that I was trying to light fireworks with a bonfire. Right when I realized I’d been standing by a fire this whole time, the universe poured water all over it and suddenly you were gone and I was cold but I didn’t want to just accept whatever heat I could find after that. I wanted  _ our  _ fire back. And somehow, someone walked by and gave me a spark and now I have my bonfire back and God, Spike, I want to burn. Can we-” She looked him in the eye, swallowing thickly. “Can we finally just burn?”

She wasn’t sure when she’d started crying but she must have at some point because Spike reached out and brushed a tear off her cheek. “Yeah, love,” he said softly. “We can burn.”


	5. Out For Lunch

It had been a week since Buffy had her conversation with Spike in the hotel room, one Dawn demanded to hear the details of when the two went to lunch after. She had been right; Xander and Andrew hadn’t heard them knocking at the hotel room door, so she had grabbed her sister and her wallet and headed out into L.A. for something to eat. When she saw him the next day and he didn’t behave any differently, she nearly cried. How did she get lucky enough to land a guy who was intelligent, attractive, and had no qualms about being emotionally vulnerable with her?

Except now, she didn’t see anything of that man in the ghost standing next to her on the balcony overlooking the lobby of Wolfram and Hart. Spike was gripping the railing with both hands and scanning the crowd below them. She could see the predator he once was in the way his eyes swept over the space and the stillness with which he stood. She had noticed that despite not needing breath as a vampire or a ghost he still breathed, but in that moment his chest was still. She knew he didn’t like the firm and if he had been corporeal she could imagine the tension that would be in his muscles, but this was new.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

He blinked, snapping out of his trance and looking over at her. “Hmm?”

“You were so still. Like when you’re smelling something.”

“I felt something,” he said. “Like a pulse of energy. I’d wager Oxford was trying something new. Probably trying to impress dear old dad.”

A thought occurred to her suddenly. “You’ve been here a while, right?”

He cocked his head, eyes unfocusing as he tried to remember how long he’d been stuck at the law firm. “We destroyed Sunnydale on the twentieth of May. I showed up in this place a few days into June. Called you in late September. Yeah, it’s been a few months. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know that much about the major players here, but you do. Run me through whoever you think is important. Name, position, species. I want it all.”

“Thought this was Bob the Builder’s territory,” he asked, arching a brow.

She rolled her eyes fondly. “Xander and Andrew said no one but Harmony will talk to them since they don’t have a reason to be here beyond being friends with us. So I’m asking you for a little help. If you don’t want to-”

“Of course I’ll help,” he said quickly. “Just didn’t want to step on any toes.”

“Fill me in.”

“Right. Let’s start with the easy ones.” He nodded to Angel. “The drama queen formerly known as Angelus and currently known as Angel. Vampire with a soul and CEO of the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram and Hart. He’s been acting strange ever since I showed up. Aggressive, sometimes even hostile.”

“Well, duh. He doesn’t like you.”

“Not just to me, love,” Spike said. “To Wesley. To Fred. To Gunn and Lorne. He’s not acting like himself.”

Buffy hummed, filing away that bit of information for later. She pointed to Gunn as he walked quickly underneath them. “What’s Gunn’s deal? Which, by the way, you’ve got to tell me how he earned that nickname.”

“It’s not a nickname.”

She stared at him, thoughts stuttering to a halt. “It’s not?”

“It’s his last name. G-U-N-N. Gunn.”

“Oh. So what’s his deal?”

“Charles Gunn. Human and has some connection to something called the White Room. They won’t tell me much about what that is, so don’t ask. From what I’ve gathered from what Harm’s gathered, he used to work as a knockoff Slayer on the streets until he met Angel. Then he let them fill his head with human and demon law and languages and now Charlie boy is a lawyer.”

Buffy nodded, making note of that, too. If they could mess with people’s minds here, she’d make sure to stay far away. “Who else?”

“Winifred Burkle,” Spike said as the woman passed by. “More commonly known as Fred. Human and bloody brilliant. Head of the science division and for good reason. She’s like Red but with less magic. Biology, chemistry, ancient artifacts. That kind of stuff.”

Buffy tilted her head. There was an affection in Spike’s voice when he talked about Fred, a warmth she recognized from the way he talked about Dawn. “You care about this girl.”

“I’ll admit I’m fond of the bird.” He shot her a look. “Not as fond as I am of you.”

“Of course.”

“I trust Fred. She’s the only one of the lot I trust, matter of fact”

“Then I guess I trust her, too.”

Halfway across the lobby, Wesley and another man stopped the girl in question to talk. He gesticulated as he spoke and glanced up at the balcony when Fred pointed to them. The question in Wesley’s eyes was clear.  _ Did it work? _ Spike held his hand up palm down and shook it from side to side.  _ Sort of. _ The ex-Watcher nodded and turned back to Fred and the older man.  _ We’ll discuss it later. _

“What’s Wesley’s deal?” she asked. “He’s so different from when he was my Watcher. I didn’t even recognize him when I first saw him.”

“To be fair, he  _ was _ completely wasted.”

She looked to Spike in surprise. “Didn’t I tell you? I got lost looking for you when I first showed up. I spilled Wesley’s coffee all over him before he told me where to find you. We didn’t even recognize each other until we said our names.”

“Good to know Windsor’s on my side.” 

Buffy couldn’t help her giggle. She’d never admit it, but she truly enjoyed his nicknames. She had asked Dawn once if she thought it was a remnant of the poet in him. After much discussion they had agreed that he probably hadn’t done the nickname thing as a human, and that it was the poet in the vamp that had led him to his pet names.

“So spill,” she said. She shifted her weight forward, resting her arms on the railing and letting her hands dangle over the edge. “What’s new with my wonderful ex-Watcher?”

“He’s heading up research and development,” Spike said. “And he’s not as pretentious as he was when you knew him. He’s a bloody demon hunter now, though I couldn’t tell you how he got there. They don’t tell me nearly as much as you think they do.”

“But you’re always here,” Buffy said. She could tell that he was struggling to remember everything he had heard and was filtering what he considered to be important. As much as she wanted to know everything, petty workplace drama wasn’t her concern. That was Harmony’s department and she could get that from Xander and Andrew later. “You’ve already been a huge help and we’re not even done.”

“Yeah?”

She smiled. “Yeah. So, anything else on Mister Wyndam-Pryce that I should know about?”

“He’s in love with Fred,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And she’s in love with him but the two are such sodding idiots they can’t figure it out. It’s painful to watch.”

“Who’s the man with him?” Buffy asked, pointing to the older man standing next to Wesley.

“His father. Part of the Watcher’s Council. We met once before.” Buffy slid her gaze over to the vampire standing next to her. He didn’t meet her eyes when he said, “Dru and I were torching an orphanage in Vienna. I didn’t recognize him, but apparently I killed two of his men. It wasn’t a happy reunion.”

“You were a different person then,” she said, reaching out a hand to cover his. It passed through him but gave him the hint to raise his hand and lower it over hers, solid this time. He was getting better and better at solidifying his hands. She suspected that soon he’d barely need to concentrate and he’d be able to fight again.  _ Maybe then he’ll stop being so broody, _ she thought, then immediately scolded herself. Angel was broody. Spike was doing his best to stay optimistic. “He can’t blame you for….” His grip on her hand tightened and she looked up to find his jaw clenched. “He doesn’t know about your soul, does he?”

“Don’t think he’d care, love,” Spike said softly. “I still did it. I forgot I’d done it, just one more atrocity in a long line of them, but I did it.”

“Spike, look at me.” It took a moment, but he did as she asked. “Don’t let this place get to you like it’s getting to Angel. You’re better than this. You’re a vampire and you’ve killed people in the past. A, because you had to if you wanted to stay alive and B, because vampires like bloodshed. But you have a soul now. You’re a champion and you’re atoning for those crimes. Besides, in the end he isn’t any better than you.”

Spike frowned. “How do you figure?”

“Wesley’s father belongs to a society that watched hundreds, if not  _ thousands _ , of girls die and did nothing to protect them,” she said. “How is that any different from the hundreds, if not thousands, of people you killed? And he hasn’t even  _ tried  _ to save the world to make up for it.” A small smile flickered to life on his face. “Promise me.”

“Promise you what, pet?”

“That you won’t let this place get to you,” she said. “There’s something dark at work here. I can feel it, you can feel it, and I think the people chained to this place can feel it more. So promise me, William, that you won’t let it drag you down.”

He raised his other hand to her cheek, cupping her face in his palm. “I promise.”

“Good.” She nodded once. “Now tell me about Lorne.”

Spike dropped his hand and shook his head as though trying to clear it. “Right. Krevlornswath, better known as Lorne around here. Head of the entertainment division, but I’m sure he told you that at Halloween. The bastard’s very proud of it.”

“He did,” she said as the demon in question appeared below them, talking loudly on the phone as he passed by. “What else you got?”

“I’d heard rumors of him when Dru and I were travelling. He was from another dimension, a bit of a disgrace. Not violent enough for his family.”

“Demons like him and Clem are in short supply. It would certainly make my life easier if there were more like them.”

“Hate to break it to you but demons don’t want your life to be easy. You don’t have many fleeing their homes and starting up a karaoke bar.”

“Lorne?”

“Lorne.”

“Angel, Fred, Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne,” Buffy said. “They all head up a department?” Spike nodded. “Huh. Kind of strange, don’t you think? Especially if they were fighting  _ against _ the firm for so long.”

“Name something that  _ isn’t _ strange around here,” he said with a scoff. “Like Harmony in a law firm.”

“Speaking of Harmony,” she said, nodding to where the young vampire was sitting behind her desk filing her nails. “Why is she here?”

“Don’t have a clue. She’s Angel’s secretary now. People blow her off, but she sees and hears everything. Xander and Andrew should be careful about what they say to her.”

Buffy scoffed. “She’s not smart enough to sell us out.”

“That’s the problem,” he said, voice low. “She’d do it without meaning to and we’ll all be scrambling to fix it. But she’s a good source of information once you get her talking.”

“I can’t believe  _ Harmony _ is going to be valuable.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You and me both. If I have to hear her call me Blondie Bear one more time….”

“I’ll stake her for you,” Buffy said. “Don’t worry. I’d be doing everyone a favor.”

He nodded to a blonde young woman heading for Angel’s office. Her clothes, far too casual for any law firm but far too nice for a meeting with friends, immediately marked her as an outsider. “Nina. Werewolf, but a different species from Oz. She stays in the cells in the basement when she changes and every time she comes dressed up.”

“Why? Doesn’t she know her clothes will either get taken off or ripped up? Seems like a wasted effort.”

“She’s got a thing for Angel but he’s too caught up with you to see it.”

“Oh.” Well, this was getting sad. But maybe, once he figured it out, Nina would be able to help him move on from her. Maybe her and Spike would finally be able to be together without his glower lurking around every corner. “Poor girl.”

“I know. She can do better than Captain Forehead.”

“Speaking of Angel’s love life, what about Cordelia?” Buffy asked. She’d thought the girl had come to Los Angeles and teamed up with Angel, but the cheerleader had been nowhere to be found. 

“No one told you?”

She raised an eyebrow. “There’s something to tell?”

Spike sighed, turning to look her in the eye. Her stomach sank. This wasn’t going to be good. “She’s been in a coma for a couple of months now. Angel said they aren’t sure if or when she’ll wake up.”

“Oh. What happened?”

“Don’t know,” he said. “I asked around but no one would give me a straight answer. The only one who could tell me anything was Angel and he was so vague, all I got was something about Cordelia being possessed by a demon that used her to give birth to itself. Think something happened there.”

“You mean like a memory spell?”

He nodded. “Maybe. I don’t think it’s worth investigating. I don’t even know if it’s true. Point is that your frenemy is in a coma because of one apocalypse or another. Does anything beyond that really matter?”

She bit her lip. “I guess not. I just don’t like not having all the pieces. What if it  _ is _ important?”

“Since Angel seems to be the only one who knows anything, feel free to try and make him talk.” He cocked a brow in a silent challenge and she sighed, closing her eyes. That wasn’t a battle worth fighting. She just had to hope it wasn’t anything relevant to now. “Buffy? Are you alright, pet?”

“Just tired,” she responded. “I’m starting to miss the open spaces of small towns. L.A. is starting to feel a bit too cramped for my taste.”

“Buffy.” His hand rested lightly on her back. “Get out of here.”

Her eyes snapped open. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Appreciate it, but that’s not what I meant. I’m not saying you should hightail it to Florida, just that you should get out of the city for a while. California is a big state. Grab your friends and go for a drive for a few hours. There’s a million oceanside towns along the coast, go spend the day in one of them.”

“That sounds like exactly what I need right now,” she said with a weak laugh. “But we didn’t bring a car. TSA doesn’t usually let you bring your Toyota in a carry-on.”

He smirked at her and she felt something in her stomach flutter. There was the mischievous side of him she had been hoping to bring out. She was thrilled to see it still existed. Wolfram and Hart hadn’t gotten to him completely, if at all. Maybe his moment of regret was really just because he was still adjusting to his soul and accepting what he had done.  _ And maybe if you think it enough, you can convince yourself you believe it. _ “No worries, love. I can get you a car.” 

“Legally?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “It’s not stealing if you’re going to bring it back.”

\------------------------------------

As it turned out, it wasn’t stealing at all.  _ Borrowing without asking permission _ , Spike had called it and seeing as the person they were borrowing from was Angel, she wasn’t inclined to beat herself up about it. She felt any lingering anxiety dissipate when she walked into the garage underneath the firm to see lines of cars stretching for what seemed like miles. Would he even notice if one went missing for a few hours? She doubted it, but was grateful Spike had offered to take the fall nonetheless.

“Are we going to get in trouble for this?” Andrew asked, following Buffy to the wall Spike had told her housed the keys to the cars. She opened the panel, unable to help her disbelieving laugh at the absurd amount of hooks with keys hanging off them. Who needed this many cars? “‘Cause I don’t know if you noticed but these are all Angel’s and-”

She turned to the younger boy and the camera he was holding to record their time in Los Angeles. Part of her was surprised he hadn’t run off to Hollywood or gone looking for schools offering cinematography classes. A small part of her hoped it all worked out for him, that he’d be able to pursue his passion and succeed where she had never been able to. She made a mental note to take Spike ice skating once he had his body back. She had a suspicion that it was a hidden talent of his. “Relax, Andrew,” she said with a smile. “Spike told me that it would be fine.”

“Spike-”

“We’re taking the Viper,” she said as she scanned the wall of keys for a moment and grabbed the set that had been described to her. “Bingo.” She closed the panel with a flourish, turning back to her friends. “What?”

“I haven’t seen you this happy since you reunited with Bleach Boy,” Xander said. “What’s got you so excited about this?” 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just sick of Wolfram and Hart and all of Angel’s moodiness. When Spike gave me this out….I don’t know. I wanted to take it.” She started walking down the line of cars, looking for the one he had described to her.  _ Red Viper, red Viper. Where are you? _

“Is he coming with us?” Dawn asked hopefully as she trailed behind her sister.

“I offered but he said no. I forgot he can’t leave the city.”

“So it’s just us?”

“Yep. Just us.” She groaned in frustration. “God, where is this car? It’s bright red! How hard can it be to-”

Xander grabbed the keys from her hand and pressed a button on the fob, sending a car beeping back behind them. “We passed it.”

Buffy turned on her heel, headed back towards the beeping. “Why are you so sure Angel won’t be mad at you?” Andrew said. “I mean, I think he likes you too much to be  _ really _ upset, but-”

“We’ll be fine.” She came to a stop in front of the beeping red car, planting her hands on her hips and sweeping her gaze over it. Xander pressed another button on the fob and the beeping stopped. “Spike said Angel will assume he had something to do with it if we take this one. Apparently he’s been eyeing it for a while which honestly….not surprised. This is totally a car Spike would fawn over.”

“And who’s going to drive?” Dawn asked, crossing her arms. “Andrew and I can’t.”

Xander raised his hands in surrender. “I don’t want to touch that thing.”

Buffy turned to him in betrayal. “Xander!”

“Sorry, Buff,” he said, handing her the keys. She took them without really realizing what she was doing. “But Angel’s nearly killed me enough times. I’d rather not give him another reason to try.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she looked around. She gripped the keys tighter which, she realized, probably didn’t help her case. “No way. You want me to drive an expensive car that isn’t mine in L.A.? Are you insane?”

“Don’t worry,” Xander said. “I’ll sit shotgun and guide you through everything. You’ll be fine. Besides, once we get out of the city it’ll be nothing but open road.” He went around the passenger side and opened the door, sliding into the front seat. Dawn and Andrew filed into the back with little complaint, though Dawn seemed reluctant to situate herself with Buffy behind the wheel. “You’ve got a license, right?”

“Yeah, I got it in Europe. Giles taught me. That doesn’t mean-”

“Just get us out of the garage. Nice and easy.”

She started the car and carefully pulled out of the parking spot. “Am I holding the wheel too tight?” she asked Xander as they rolled to a stop at the garage’s exit.

“Well, your knuckles aren’t supposed to be white unless you’re dead,” he said, grabbing onto the door when she pulled onto the road. She thought she heard Andrew muttering a prayer to Yoda behind her. “So, I’d say yeah.”

She looked over at Xander. “Technically-”

“Eyes on the road!” he yelled, startling her and causing her to snap her gaze forward.

“Sorry, sorry. Uh, music? Do we want music?”

“Yes,” Dawn said quickly. “Please.”

Buffy maneuvered through the L.A. streets, silently thanking whatever car deity was blessing the roads and lessening traffic. Someone knew the Slayer was driving and was trying to save the unsuspecting drivers. She shot Xander a glance from the corner of her eye. “Xander, can you get that for me? I don’t want to run us into a ditch messing with dials.”

Xander played with the radio until Dawn let out a shriek, singing along to the Britney Spears blaring from the speakers. “Oh, we  _ have  _ to leave it on this station when we bring the car back,” he said. “And this volume. I don’t care if it’s Spike or Angel that uses the car next, I’d pay money to see that reaction.”

Buffy giggled at the image of Angel starting the car and jumping as Avril Lavigne echoed in the garage, fumbling for the dials until he completely shut everything off. Her laughter only grew as the visual shifted to Spike covering his ears with his hands, cursing thoroughly before changing the station to something more rock and roll.

“As long as you don’t total it,” Dawn said with a laugh. 

Buffy went to smack her sister, pulling her hand back at the chorus of “Two hands on the wheel!” and returning her iron grip on the steering wheel. A small part of her was glad Spike couldn’t come with them. He’d no doubt be smirking in the passenger seat, directing her, calming her with his snide remarks that hid advice.  _ Are you trying to strangle the bloody wheel? _ she could hear him saying.  _ Loosen your grip and relax your shoulders. It’s a machine, not a wild animal. It isn’t going to bite you. _

She took a breath through her nose, releasing it through her mouth and with it, the tension in her shoulders. She relaxed into the seat and released her grip on the wheel, stretching out her aching fingers. She’d be fine. She had her friends in the car, the wind in her hair, and music playing louder than she had ever dared in Sunnydale.

For the first time in far too long, Buffy Summers was relaxing.

\--------------------------------

Spike nodded as Fred went over the things she had tried and what was next on the list for her and Wesley to attempt, though when that would happen was anyone’s guess. The ex-Watcher had been sidetracked since his father showed up and Spike had been trying to stay out of the way as best he could after their initial meeting. It was no secret the Watcher’s Council didn’t like him. He wondered what Wesley’s father would say if he told him that not only was he in love with the Slayer, but the Slayer was in love with him.

“Spike?” Fred was peering up at him in concern. “You okay?”

He blinked, drawn back to reality. “Fine,” he said. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Buffy.”

She giggled. “I should have guessed. Where is Buffy anyways? I saw her a few hours ago but she’s been gone since.”

“She went out for a drive with her friends,” he said. “Needed to get out of the city for a few hours.”

“Oh, I can understand that,” Fred said. “Los Angeles is an adjustment. I know it was for me coming from Texas, even if it was Dallas and not a small town like Sunnydale. Is she going anywhere specific or just driving?”

“Don’t know,” he answered honestly. “And I don’t know when she’ll be back, either, so-”

Angel’s office doors banged open, announcing the vampire’s presence louder than any vocal warning could. He stopped in the middle of the lobby, planted his hands on his hips, and looked around at the frozen crowd. “Where’s Spike?”

The not-ghost in question raised a hand, cocking his head at the expression on Angel’s face. Fred clutched her clipboard to her chest, but she didn’t seem afraid. A quick glance had Spike concluding she looked more cautious than anything else. “Right here, mate. What are you blaming me for this time?”

“I just got a call that one of my cars is missing,” he said, stalking towards the pair. “Now, I am busy dealing with cyborgs and Wesley’s father and I  _ really _ don’t have time for this. What did you do with the car?”

“What makes you think I did anything with it?” He absolutely had done something with it. They both knew it, but it was much more entertaining to watch Angel struggle to contain his emotions in front of the audience he had drawn. “I’ve been here all day. Been with Fred for the past hour or so after you all nearly blew up.”

“Spike, the Viper is gone.”

“And that’s my fault because….?”

“You’ve been eyeing it up ever since you first saw it,” Angel said accusingly. “I don’t know how you did it, but I want it back here now.”

Spike shrugged, fighting a smile at the look it earned from the other man. It was almost too easy to rile him. “I’d love to help but seeing as I’m not driving the bloody thing, there isn’t much I can do.”

“Spike-”

“Angel,” Fred said, smoothly stepping between the two of them. “Maybe you two should talk privately?”

“Fred, stay out of this.”

Spike was tempted to step forward and make a snide comment about Angel’s word choice with strong women, but he fought against his instinct and came up beside Fred rather than in front of her. Support, but not a savior. He knew that Fred, much like Buffy, could handle herself when it came to the vampire. 

“No,” she said firmly. “Go talk this out somewhere else. You won’t get anything out of him by screaming in the middle of the lobby.”

Angel chuckled bitterly. “So you’re taking his side?”

Her jaw dropped, quickly shifting to a disbelieving laugh. “I’m taking the side of not causing a scene over a missing  _ car _ .” 

Spike shot Angel a look, the  _ follow me _ clear in his eyes as he stepped past Fred and stalked into the CEO’s office. A moment later Angel was behind him, closing the doors and turning to Spike. “When you get your body back, we’re having a confrontation.”

He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, remembering his own words to Buffy. Or rather, Faith, but he didn’t know it was Faith at the time. He should have known it wasn’t Buffy, though. If he’d been a bit more sober, he might have realized that she didn’t smell like herself and that the words coming out of her mouth weren’t things she would have said to him at that time. Now, however… “Is something funny, Spike?”

“I said the same thing to someone once and it ended with us bringing a house down. Now I don’t know about you, but personally, I don’t fancy shagging you one bit.”

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you brought a house down?”

“Nothing.” Spike shook his head. There was too much to unpack there and it would only make the other man angrier. “Look, you’re right. I did have something to do with the Viper going missing.”

“Am I supposed to be surprised by this?”

“No,” he said. “Obviously I had something to do with it. Do you know me at all?”

Angel sighed and Spike couldn’t help his smile. The drama queen was making this too easy. “Who has the car, Spike? Where is it?”

Spike dropped down into the armchair, letting one leg hang over the arm. Now came the important part where he followed through on his promise to Buffy. Not like he’d fail. He always followed through on promises, especially when made to Buffy or Dawn. “You’ll blame me for all of this?”

Angel sat in his desk chair, throwing out his arms and spreading his fingers. “Who else am I going to blame? You just confessed to helping someone steal one of my luxury cars.”

“It’s not stealing if it’s being brought back,” he said. “That makes it borrowing without asking permission.”

“Is that what you told whoever you got to steal it?”

“Yeah, that’s what I told Buffy. Meant it as a joke, but-”

Alarm flared in Angel’s dark eyes. “ _ Buffy _ ?  _ Buffy  _ is driving the Viper? Spike, what the hell were you thinking? She’s going to get herself killed!”

Spike scoffed, rolling his eyes.  _ Once a drama queen, always a drama queen. _ “Relax. She told me Giles taught her and I’m not exactly in any position to judge. She said it was all legal and I believe her. She’s taking Harris, Spielberg, and the Bit out to talk and just….get away from this shitshow.”

“She’s the Slayer.”

“She’s just a girl,” he snapped, temper flaring. Didn’t Angel get it? Yes, she was a Slayer -  _ a _ Slayer, not  _ the _ \- but she was also a twenty-two year old woman. She came to pick Spike up, not hang around and help Angel with a wild subconscious, or an old wrestler who helped stop a demon, or cyborgs trying to kill everyone. These weren’t her problems. Not anymore. “She didn’t sign on for any of your workplace drama and she doesn’t want to be here all the time. Hell,  _ I’m _ only here because I like pissing you off, I happen to enjoy Fred’s company, and, oh yeah,  _ I can’t leave _ ! Buffy doesn’t need to be here and she hates this bloody city so I suggested she leave for a few hours. Get some fresh air and soak up the sun with her friends.”

“You didn’t go with her.”

He blinked at the man sitting across from him. “Have you listened to anything I said? She’s leaving the city and I can’t. I just get teleported back here because of that sodding amulet.”

Angel was silent for a long time, his expression unreadable. Spike’s leg bounced idly as he waited for the other man to speak. Just like with Eve, whether through patience or stubbornness, he wouldn’t break the silence first. “Buffy’s got the car?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s coming back here?”

“I’d assume so.”

“Okay.” He nodded once. “You can go back to Fred now.”

Spike settled into the armchair. “No, I don’t think I will.”

“Spike. Get out.”

He smiled, raising his chin in a challenge. “Make me.” The eye roll he received only made his grin grow. They both knew he’d lose interest and leave eventually, but half the fun was trying to wait each other out. His longest time was twenty minutes and Spike was feeling like today, he might finally hit half an hour.

\-------------------------------

They drove a few hours out of the city to Ocean Rock, a town not too far from where the Sunnydale crater currently was. One summer, Buffy and Xander had spent the day there with Willow but found it too similar to their hometown for their liking. Now it was exactly the kind of place Buffy was longing for.

They cruised down the highway, sun shining down and wind whipping Buffy’s hair away from her face while Dawn sang along to Destiny’s Child as it blared from the speakers. Xander had panicked for a moment when the Slayer put on large sunglasses and the car swerved slightly, but she assured him she could still see perfectly fine.

“So we’ve been talking with the others,” Xander said once they were well outside of Los Angeles. “We didn’t get much info but they seem like nice enough people. I had a catch up session with Wesley and a nice chat with Lorne about his karaoke bar compared to the Bronze. Oh, and Gunn’s a cool guy. He’s like me, but even more of a badass.”

“He said he’d teach us some fighting techniques when we had free time,” Andrew chimed in. “Not that we need it because we’re totally masters of the martial arts, but a little refresher course could be useful.” Buffy rolled her eyes, but she hoped the offer was genuine. Xander and Andrew could both use some moves if for nothing else than self defense. Even if she was retiring, the whole thing was unofficial. She’d still go fight baddies and if that meant her friends would be in danger, she’d feel better knowing they could defend themselves.

“And Harmony! That girl will just go on and on,” Xander continued, rolling his eyes. “Said no one really tells her much but that as far as she knows, nothing’s been going on aside from Fred and Wesley trying to figure out the Spike situation and Eve trying to off Angel for the senior partners. Oh and apparently Fred and Wesley are dating now so, uh, good for him moving on from Cordy.”

“That’s good, though, right?” Dawn asked. “That nothing crazy is happening? ‘Cause we all wanted to get away from the crazy.”

Buffy tightened her grip on the wheel. “Once Spike gets his body, we’re gone. Back to England.”

“Back to England? I thought our next stop was Rome.”

“I’m done with the whole Slayer training thing,” she said. A weight lifted off her shoulders with the admission. “I just want to stop moving and spend some time with my family. Willow, Giles, and whoever of you decides to stay with me. I want to be normal. Well, as normal as a demon hunter dating a vampire can be.”

“Good for you, Buff,” Xander said, gently knocking her arm with his hand. “You deserve a break. And hey, if Giles will take me I’d love to room with you and Willow. The original Scoobies all under one roof.”

“Obviously I’ll be with you too,” Dawn said. “I mean, duh. Where else am I going to go?”

“We’re like the X-Men,” Andrew said eagerly. 

Buffy frowned. “The who-huh?”

“A superhero team of misfits, all living under one roof with their teacher and father figure. Giles is totally our Charles Xavier.”

“You’re coming with us?” she asked. 

“I, uh….Yeah. Yeah, I am. Giles was teaching me how to be a Watcher before he settled in England. Where else am I going to get that kind of training?”

“So what do we do now?” Xander asked before anyone could point out that there were numerous Watchers scattered across the globe.

Buffy relaxed into the seat. “We just have to play the game. Play it long enough and eventually we’ll win.”

She watched Dawn shift in the rearview mirror. “How do you know?”

“Simple. When things don’t go your way, you have two options.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You can cheat or you can flip the table. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you win in the end.”

“I thought you were all about honor and doing the right thing?”

Buffy swallowed, meeting her sister’s gaze in the mirror. “This isn’t a game we can afford to lose. We play by the rules as long as we can but if it goes on for too long, I’ll flip the table and force the game to change. Whatever it takes.”

“I thought this trip was all about fun.”

“It is,” she agreed. “Which is why we’re done talking business until we get back to Wolfram and Hart. For the moment, what happens in Los Angeles stays in Los Angeles.”

When they pulled into a parking garage half an hour later with everyone still in one piece, she turned the car off with a satisfied smile and climbed out. “See?” she said once they were all in a loose circle outside the car. “No biggie. Everyone still has all limbs accounted for.”

“So what’s the plan now?” Dawn asked.

“No plan. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? To just relax?”

“I was thinking we could hit up the beach,” Xander said. He led the way out of the parking garage and into the California heat. “When we came here with Will a few years ago it was nice. And come on. This is California, how can you go wrong with the beach?”

“Sounds good,” Buffy said cheerfully, a slight skip in her step. Just smelling the fresher air was already making her feel better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally spaced mentioning this in the notes of my last chapter but we aren’t going to be seeing any more of Eve from here on out. I hated her the moment she walked on screen and I was not looking forward to writing her, so I cut her out ASAP.
> 
> In other news, Anya_Mae (my wonderful beta reader and best friend) has posted her first Spuffy fic (woooo)! Go check out Bad, Bad, Bad Boys and Dangerous Girls and send her some love!


	6. Camels and Crows

Dawn let out a shrill shriek that had Buffy dropping her hairbrush on the bathroom counter with a bang, grabbing her stake from her suitcase, and bolting into the main room of the suite. She relaxed when she saw her sister laughing in embarrassment on the couch and Spike smiling apologetically. “Sorry, Bit,” he said. “Had to get out of that building and didn’t know where else to go. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked, tossing the stake back into the bedroom. “Wait, let me guess. Lorne is throwing another party. You got bored annoying Angel. Harmony wanted you to play twenty questions with her again. Am I getting close?”

“There’s a camel in the lobby.”

Buffy blinked at him. His face was completely serious and she waited for him to break and tell her it was all a stupid joke, that the problem was really that Angel and Nina had been getting a bit too friendly in the boss man’s office and it was making him sick to his non-existent stomach. 

“There’s a what in the where?” Dawn asked when he didn’t say anything more.

“A camel,” Spike repeated. “In the lobby. All thanks to Harmony’s incompetence. Angel was going off on her in front of everyone and I wasn’t going to stay around and end up on the wrong end of his temper.”

“Harmony had a camel sent to Wolfram and Hart?” Buffy asked. “Do I even  _ want  _ to know why?”

“Probably not,” he said. He cocked his head at the television just as the screen shifted from the show to a commercial for one hair product or another. “Are you watching  _ Friends  _ reruns?”

“Are you really one to judge, Mister  _ Passions _ ?” Dawn asked.

“Touche, Nibblet.”

“Buffy and I have been watching it for years,” she said. “Every week we’d all cuddle up on the couch with blankets and snacks and watch it with Mom.”

Spike situated himself beside Dawn. “Sounds nice.”

“It was,” Buffy said. She remembered those nights. They’d make popcorn and sometimes buy candy and all squeeze onto the couch, Buffy taking up residence on one side of their mom and Dawn on the other. “Are you going to tell her or do I have to?” He gestured for her to go ahead and she rolled her eyes fondly. “Spike’s a huge fan. He’s seen every episode.”

“Wait, really?” Dawn asked eagerly. “No way.”

He arched a brow. “Try me. Which episode is this?”

“Phoebe’s giving birth and Joey’s having sympathy pains,” Dawn said. “And Monica’s trying to make Chandler jealous-”

“By hitting on the doctor,” Spike finished. “And Joey’s not having sympathy pains. It’s a kidney stone.”

“Oh my God, you  _ are _ a fan!” Dawn squealed. “This is amazing. This might be the best day of my life.”

“Better than the day I came back from the dead?” Buffy asked. “The second time, obviously.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me.”

Spike raked his gaze over her. “Were you going somewhere?”

“Oh. No.” She shucked off her coat, throwing it on the bed. “Well, actually, I was going to go see you. But you’re here now and I’d rather spend time with my two favorite people than deal with that camel nonsense.”

He patted the empty spot on his other side and she sat next to him, relishing the feeling of his hand sliding into hers. “I never got the chance to ask you how your drive was.”

“I was starting to think you wouldn’t,” she teased. “You sure took your sweet time.”

He rolled his eyes. “It might have slipped my mind with the cyborg assassins and fake Watcher I was trying to help Peaches deal with. And now Wesley’s gone because he thought he killed his father even though it was just one of those bloody cyborgs pretending to be him. Fred’s upset about it but trying to hide it and….” He sighed. “That whole place is like a bloody soap opera and let me tell you, watching and living are two different things. One is much more enjoyable than the other.” 

She laughed. “Well, if you must know, the drive was good. It was nice. I didn’t realize how much I needed to get out. Thanks for taking the fall for the whole car thing, by the way.”

“Took him a while to notice it was gone, but he was forgiving,” Spike said with a shrug. 

“He was?”

“To you.”

She winced. “Was he harsh? I’ll stake him.”

“No, you won’t,” he said. “He was fine. I can handle Angel.”

“That’s a relief. I don’t think  _ I _ would have been able to handle him snapping at me. I probably would have done something I’d regret later.” She bit back a smile. “Actually, I think we’re past that point.”

His eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

“Britney,” Dawn answered. “Very loud Britney. Well, hopefully it’s Britney. I’d also accept any girl group or boy band.”

“You messed with the radio,” he said in understanding. He smiled, shaking his head. “You Summers women never cease to surprise me.”

“We told Xander we wouldn’t tell you, so don’t tell him we said anything.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Oh! It’s back on,” Dawn cried eagerly. She passed her hand through Spike and slapped Buffy on the arm, shushing her before she could respond to the vampire. She snapped her mouth shut, rubbing a thumb across the cold not-skin of his hand. She wanted to put her head on his shoulder and hug his arm like they were a normal couple on vacation with her sister in L.A. and had to fight down a wave of disappointment when she remembered she couldn’t. It hurt being this close to him and unable to reach out, but it was better than the alternative. She’d rather have him there in spirit rather than not have him at all.

He squeezed her hand and suddenly, everything seemed better.

\------------------------------------------

Spike stormed into Angel’s office guns blazing. “Look, I know that I’m a ghost and a vampire and I shouldn’t be sleeping during the night but you’ve got some nerve assuming-” He came up short in front of the vampire, tilting his head as he took in Angel’s disheveled appearance. He was leaning on the front of the desk with his shoulders hunched forward, eyes hidden behind his swoop of dark hair.  _ That  _ concerned Spike more than he’d care to admit. For as long as they’d known each other, Angel had never had a hair out of place. “What’s the matter with you? Buffy tell you off for a third time?”

“Cordelia’s gone,” Angel said. There was no emotion in his voice.

“The cheerleader broke out of the hospital?” he asked, silently hoping that was the case while simultaneously knowing it wasn’t. 

“No,” he said. “She….I can’t even say it.”

“It’s okay,” Spike said, softer than he thought he had ever been to his grandsire. “What happened? When did you….” He let the question hang, unsure how to finish it. Angel seemed to know what he meant anyways.

“I told you she was in a coma, right?” Spike nodded. “The doctor called about an hour ago to tell me she passed.”

“I’m sorry. I know she was important to you.”

“She was here,” he said quietly. “I didn’t say anything to Buffy or Xander because I thought….”

“You thought she’d still be here tomorrow,” Spike finished. 

“She was in the room right when I got the call. I turned around and she wasn’t there anymore. She said the Powers That Be owed her one,” Angel said. “I don’t know how it happened but she was here all day. Everyone talked to her, everyone saw her, she gave us all hugs. She was here, she was real. But somehow she never woke up.”

“Bloody magic,” Spike said. “No point trying to understand it ‘cause you never will. What happened, happened.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” He sighed, finally looking up into the other man’s face. His eyes were red from crying and the skin around them was puffy. “Spike, I need a favor.”

“Anything.”

“I need you to tell Buffy.”

“Anything but that thing.”

“Look, things are rocky between us right now and she should hear it from someone she cares about. Someone she’ll let comfort her.”

“Angel, have you forgotten I’m Casper the not so friendly ghost?” He waved his hand through the armchair to demonstrate his point. “There won’t be much comforting happening.”

“I know you can make your hands corporeal without much focus,” Angel said. “You can touch things. Hold things.”

“So?”

“So hold her.”

Now he was standing inside the hotel room staring at the woman he loved. He cleared his throat as he stepped out of the small entryway and she stood smoothly, crossing the room to greet him with a bounce in her step and bright smile. “Hey. What’s got you looking so serious?”

“I’ve got something to tell you, pet,” he said softly. She stepped aside so he could properly come into the hotel room. He sat on the couch, letting his hands dangle between his knees, and waited for her to sit next to him before he continued. “I’ve got some news. Bad news and I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you but-”

“Spike.” She took a deep breath and he pretended he didn’t notice how shaky it was. “Just say it quick. Like ripping off a band-aid.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He nodded, taking her hands in his and threading their fingers together. She stared at their joined hands, a small smile dancing on her lips. “Cordelia’s dead,” he said softly. Buffy’s eyes widened slightly and slowly, one of her hands left his and drifted to her mouth. “She died last night, love. Angel asked me to break the news.”

The tears glistening in her eyes spilled over as she shook her head. “No. No, there must be some mistake. Cordelia can’t be….She was supposed to….She was too….” He felt the word she wouldn’t say deep in his soul.  _ Alive. She was too alive for something as trivial as death to take her away. _

“I know, Buffy,” he said. “I know.”

Her face crumpled and she hung her head, shoulders shaking with sobs. He swallowed, shifting closer to her and rubbing soothing circles on her back. She squeezed his hand tight enough that he found himself glad he was a ghost. She probably would have broken something if he’d been corporeal. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that before she sat up with a small, wet laugh and wiped away the tears under her eyes. “Wow,” she said with a sniffle. “Who would have thought I’d ever cry over Cordelia Chase?”

“The universe works in mysterious ways.”

There was a knock at the door. “Buffy?”  _ Oh great, _ Spike thought to himself as Buffy stood and opened the door to reveal Xander. He swept in without looking at her, leaving her to close the door behind him. “I dropped Dawn and Andrew off at the room. Wanted to check in and see if you were enjoying your….” He stopped in the middle of the room when he made eye contact with Spike, turning to Buffy and running a worried gaze over her. “Are you alright?”

She sniffled and swiped at her cheeks. “Spike just gave me some news.”

“What happened? Is everything okay?”

“Xander you might want to sit down for this.” 

He sank into one of the armchairs, brow furrowed in concern, as she returned to her spot on the couch. She grabbed Spike’s hand again, gripping it tightly. “Buffy,” Xander said. “You’re starting to scare me.”

She opened her mouth, but all that came out was a strangled sound and then she was covering her mouth and whispering apologies as the tears came hot and fast. “It’s okay, love,” Spike said. His heart was breaking for her. He resumed his circles on her back as her sobs started anew and turned to Xander. “Cordelia died last night,” he said softly. “Angel asked me to tell you and Buffy.”

“Oh God.” Xander leaned forward, dropping his head into his hands while Buffy coughed, gasping for breath. “Was it….Oh God. Cordy? You’re sure?”

“I’m sure, mate. Hospital called Angel last night.”

He looked up sharply. “What….What happened? Did he tell you what happened to her?”

“She was in a coma,” the vampire said as gently as he could. “And she slipped. It would have been peaceful. She wouldn’t have been in any pain.”

Xander’s eyes shined with tears and slowly, they ran down his face. “You’re sure?” he asked again.

Spike nodded. “I’m sure.”

“We have to tell them,” Buffy said, voice thick with a mix of tears, mucus, and emotion. “Giles and Willow. They’ll want to know.”

“You can tell them later, love,” he assured her. “Or I can tell them if you want. You’re not in a place to be doing anything like that right now.”

“They should hear it from me,” she said. She stretched out her arm, holding her hand palm up. “Xander, pass me my cell.”

“He’s right, Buff,” Xander said. “We can tell them later.”

“What about Dawn and Andrew?”

“Tonight,” he promised. “For now, give yourself a second. This isn’t like your mom. You don’t have to be strong or plan a funeral or anything like that. You can let yourself feel this pain. You don’t have to be strong.”

Her voice broke as she whispered, “Spike?”

“Yeah, pet?”

“Can you do it again?”

He knew he could but despite what Angel had told him, he also knew he wasn’t the person who needed to hold her right now. He hadn’t known Cordelia the way the rest of them had, hadn’t known her at all beyond a cheerleader he nearly killed a couple of times, and it was making the loss harder to connect to. The two best people to be with her right now were Angel and Xander and since Angel was too walled off to mourn with Buffy, the man in the chair across from her would have to do. “I don’t think so,” Spike said after a moment.

Buffy nodded silently, got to her feet, and crawled into Xander’s lap, resting her cheek on his chest. After a moment, his arms circled her and he ran a hand over her hair again and again until her breathing slowed and she fell asleep. Spike flicked his gaze up to Xander who wordlessly brought her to the bedroom, returning to the chair a moment later. “You holding up alright, mate?” Spike asked the younger man. “I know you were close with her.”

“You do?”

“Buffy told me what happened after I showed up asking Red for that love potion,” he said quietly. “I know what she was to you. How are you handling all of this?”

“As well as I can,” Xander said. “I just can’t believe she’s gone, you know? It feels like just yesterday we saw her at graduation. She survived so much with us and even more with Angel. It doesn’t seem right. She seemed invincible.”

“I thought the same thing when Buffy told me about Anya,” Spike admitted. A shadow passed over Xander’s face at the mention of his ex-fiancee. “I’ve seen a lot of people come and go and in my experience, the ones who take up the most space leave the biggest holes when they’re gone.”

“Yeah?” he asked. “Could you….could you name a few?”

He blew out a breath, thinking. “Nikki Wood. From what little I knew about her, Jenny Calendar. Joyce. Buffy, for those few months. Tara. Anya. Cordelia. We’ve lost some damn powerful women in the past few years. They were too good, the world couldn’t handle their greatness, and now there’s a hole where they used to be.”

Xander raised an imaginary glass and tipped it to Spike. “I’ll drink to that.”

Neither spoke, opting instead to sit in silence while Buffy slept in the next room. They knew they’d have to tell everyone else soon, but for the moment it was easier to sit and pretend that the world was kind enough to stop spinning and give them a moment to mull over too many years of death and too many good souls gone.


	7. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright ya'll, here it is. The moment you've been waiting for!
> 
> Trigger Warning: the second chunk of this chapter (after the first line marking a time skip) contains discussion of abuse and sexual assault, specifically the nature of Buffy and Spike’s relationship during season six and the bathroom scene. If this is something that will be triggering for you, please skip that part of the chapter (go to the line of asterisks) or read the chapter recap in the end notes.

“Blondie Bear!” Harmony called, waving to Spike. He groaned, looking around for someone to save him only to find the lobby devoid of anyone he even remotely considered a friend. “Spikey! I need to talk to you.”

He splayed his hands on the wall counter, peering down at her. “What is it, Harm?”

“I’m bored.”

“It’s barely nine in the morning.”

“So? I can be bored even if I just got here.”

“You know what?” he said, beginning to walk away. “I think I hear Angel calling me. Can’t talk now. Maybe some other time?”

She frowned, leaning back in the chair. “I don’t hear any-”

A silver light flashed and he cursed, squeezing his eyes shut at the brightness. From the sounds around him, he wasn’t the only one who’d seen it. There were _ thud _ s like people falling, loud and confused chattering, and Spike decided to seize this opportunity to slip away from the secretary that couldn’t seem to leave him alone. Blinking away spots, he stumbled towards Angel’s office to disappear into and ask the boss if he knew what was happening, only to collide with something solid. “Bloody hell,” he swore, stumbling back and crashing to the ground as he tripped over his own feet. Squinting up from his spot on the floor he realized Angel’s door was open and had likely been open _ in _ g when he walked into it.

Angel sighed somewhere outside of Spike’s line of sight. “Do I want to know what you’re doing on the floor?”

“It’s not my fault the door hit me,” he snapped.

“Well, it did what we’ve all been wanting to do. Lucky it.”

He picked himself up and pressed the back of his hand to his sore nose. He was no stranger to pain and while this was nowhere near bad enough to warrant concern, his hand came away red. He stared at it as the last few moments caught up with him. “Angel,” Spike said as the man passed by him. “I’m bleeding.”

“What, do you want me to lick it off you? No thanks.”

He lashed out, grabbing the other vampire’s arm. “Angel. Stop for a bloody second and listen to me.”

“What?”

“I am bleeding,” he said slowly. “Because your door hit me.”

There was a moment of silence as the information sank in before Angel snapped into motion. “Oh my God, you’re bleeding.” He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “What happened? What did you do? Did you and Buffy do something to cause this?”

“Couldn’t. I didn’t see her last night.”

“You didn’t? Why not?”

“She was out with her Scoobies to do some patrolling. What does this have to do with my situation?”

“You didn’t do anything?”

“Not that I know of.” Unable to help himself, Spike pressed his hand to his mouth and licked the blood off his skin. It didn’t taste  _ good _ , exactly, but at that moment anything would have tasted divine to him simply because he could taste again. Now that he was aware of it, he could feel his other senses coming online. He could smell the clean scent that came with being in a business building, he could feel the fabric of his coat where it brushed against the bare skin of his arm, and he could sense the blood moving in the bodies around him. His mouth watered and he turned to the man watching him warily. “Angel?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m craving.”

A look of panic passed over Angel’s face. “Craving? Craving what?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted a drink or a smoke or maybe just blood, but he was craving something to make him feel alive, some way to connect his mind and body together in his new corporeal state. “But I know the longer we stand here, the more your lobby is looking like an all you can eat buffet. I need something in my hands that I can put in my body. I don’t care what it is, just give me  _ something _ .”

Angel grabbed the younger vampire by the shoulder with a quiet curse, dragging him into his office and throwing him into the chair in front of his desk. Spike marveled at the feel of the chair underneath him as he ran his hands over the arms.

“Harmony,” Angel called, an undercurrent of urgency in his voice. “Get me some blood. The biggest mug you can find.”

“What are you feeling like, boss?” she asked cheerfully. “We have pig, otter, cow-”

“I don’t care,” he snapped. “Just make it blood and make it warm. Quickly.” He slammed the door shut, pacing in front of it. “We should have considered this would happen”

“You had no way to know. Think I’m just wanting something to remind me I’m alive.”

Angel scoffed, running a hand through his dark hair. If Spike didn’t know any better he’d say Angel almost looked….worried.  _ Of course he’s worried, _ he thought dryly.  _ If you die for a third time, Buffy will never forgive him. How’s he supposed to win her heart then? _

There was a knock at the door and Angel grabbed the mug, one of the large ones that he remembered Dawn had told him were used for lattes, and shut the door firmly, crouching in front of Spike and holding up the mug. “Drink it slowly. Little sips. You don’t want to make yourself throw up.”

He listened to Angel’s advice, fighting against the part of him that wanted to guzzle the blood in big gulps. His argument with Giles and Buffy over the exact same thing years ago replayed in his mind. Something about the Watcher not wanting to clean vampire vomit out of his bathtub. The whole argument had exploded in him asking them what they could do to stop him and Buffy returning with a plastic straw in the mug and a saccharine smile on her lips.

_ Buffy _ .

He stopped sipping, coughing as the thought finally hit him. He needed to see Buffy as soon as possible. His hunger warred with his desire and though desire very nearly won out, he knew he’d end up biting her if he didn’t finish the mug.

There was another knock at the office door and this time, they were opened with much more care. “Harmony said Spike was in here.” An exhausted looking Wesley came around the chair followed by an energetic Fred. “Did it work?” she asked, reaching out to touch his arm. She let out a small shriek of joy when she didn’t pass through him, her smile shining brighter.

“You two did this?” Angel leaned against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. Spike wasn’t sure if his grandsire was angry or impressed. He decided that it was probably a mix of both. “How?”

“Fred and I never went home last night,” Wesley said. “Many hours and a frankly exorbitant amount of coffee later, we came up with the idea to alter the curse that gave you your soul. A few hours later and we were certain we had a wording that would work.” 

“Thank God Buffy gave me the amulet back,” Fred said. “I told her to keep it and she seemed like she was going to, but then she showed up saying I should keep it locked in my office because it was safer here.”

“We used the amulet in the place of an Orb of Thesulah,” he continued. “It vanished just like an Orb would have if we’d been performing the real curse. The amulet is gone.”

Spike passed the now empty mug to Angel as he shot out of the chair and lifted Fred up by her waist, spinning her around the office. “You’re bloody brilliant! Thank you.”

She laughed, stepping back and fixing her hair once he put her down. “I told you I’d get you a body. Did you think I’d give up on you?”

“‘Course not. I didn’t doubt you for a second.” She slipped something into his hand and he quickly pocketed it without looking at it. He didn’t need to. What else would Fred be giving him except the phone she had promised to temporarily hold onto?

There was yet another knock at the door. “You’re popular today,” Spike commented, following Angel with his eyes as the other vampire opened the door for a third time. Buffy walked in, stopping when she saw the gathered crowd. Her shirt swished from her momentum, her jeans fit her just right, and he wasn’t sure how he managed to cross the room without running to her but he did. 

“Angel looks pissed. What did you do?” she asked with a laugh. It vanished when she looked up at him, replaced with concern. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He drank her in for a moment before he gently tugged her towards him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. He felt her tense in surprise, but she quickly relaxed into his embrace. “How?” she asked, looking up at him with a wide smile as her hands roamed over his chest.

“Fred and Wesley,” he said, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and tried to pull him down to her. He resisted, gently taking her hands and lowering them. “Just ate, pet. You don’t want to be tasting blood.” She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head against his chest.

“You’re real. You’re here.”

“Yeah, love. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

\----------------------------------

Buffy caught the keys as Spike tossed them to her, taking her place behind the wheel of a sleek blue car too expensive for her to know its name. Spike slid into the passenger seat and shot her a grin that made her lean over the center console to try and kiss him again. He flinched away from her and she sighed deeply, flopping back into her seat. “Why won’t you let me kiss you? You had no problem with the flirty back and forth when you were a ghost.”

“I couldn’t touch you when I was a ghost.”

“Yes you could.”

“Not like that.”

She turned her head, gazing at his profile as he stared at his hands where they were resting in his lap. “Do you really want to have this conversation?”

“We have to eventually,” he said quietly. “We never really had the chance to before. We thought the world might end and it didn’t really matter but now….”

“Now things are steadying,” she finished. “Looking permanent.”

“If it had been anyone else, would you forgive them?”

She took a moment to collect her thoughts. How was she supposed to explain? “Anyone else couldn’t say they didn’t have a soul.”

“That’s not an excuse-”

“You’re right. It’s not. There’s no excuse for something so disgusting.” He didn’t react to her harsh words and she considered that to be a good thing. They needed to acknowledge that what happened between them was wrong. “But it’s an explanation. Spike, you have to understand….people with souls succeed with what you tried everyday. You had no soul, no morals, no sense of what is and is not okay. You fought for those morals and when you got them, you came to regret your actions. Fuck, Spike, you regretted it when you  _ didn’t _ have a soul. You wouldn’t try something like that now. You know that isn’t how you treat people you claim to love. I  _ know  _ that you know because you went and-”

“Went and, what? Got my soul?” he snapped. He finally slid his gaze to hers. The pain in his eyes made her heart clench. “I got my soul for a lot of reasons, Buffy. Because I thought it would make you love me. Because I hated myself. Because somehow you felt  _ something  _ for me and we both know you deserve better than what I was. I got my soul because I hurt you and I didn’t know what else to do to try and fix it.”

_ I love you. _

_ No, you don’t, but thanks for saying it. _

“That’s why you told me I didn’t love you,” she said softly. “You don’t think it’s possible.”

“No, love. I think it’s possible. I want to believe it’s possible. But you deserve better than the monster who did nothing but hurt you over and over again. I tried to kill you, I nearly killed your friends, tried to kill you a second time, a third time, over and over until something clicked and I realized I loved you.” He laughed bitterly. “Even then, I tried to kill you for making me feel like this.”

“We were friends.”

“We were,” he agreed. “And then I ruined it.”

“ _ We _ ruined it,” she said. “Spike, I treated you badly too. I used you as a physical and emotional punching bag because I was in such a terrible place. I gave you bruises and black eyes. I called you a thing. I used you knowing you wouldn't push me away because you cared too much. What I did to you was unforgivable.” She sighed. “Can we stop being vague? Can we just say it?”

Slowly, he nodded and took a deep breath. “I tried to rape you.”

“And I abused you,” she said softly.

Spike tilted his head against the back of the passenger seat and laughed bitterly. “God. What the bloody hell are we doing, Buffy?”

“We’re healing,” she said. He turned to her, brow furrowed as he waited for her to continue. “We both messed up big time and there’s nothing either of us can say to make what happened disappear. We just have to recognize that we were different people then.”

“And now we’re healing?”

“And now we’re healing. It’s all we can do. Forgive and move forward.” 

“Do you forgive me?”

“Yes. I do.” She cocked her head. “Do you forgive me, Spike?”

“Of course I do, love.”

“Then I don’t see why this has to stand in the way of us trying again as better people.”

His lips twitched in a small smile and she placed her hand palm up on the center console. He looked to it in surprise, but laced their fingers together in what had become a familiar motion from his time as a not-ghost. He flicked his attention up to her, expression carefully neutral. 

“We’re going to be okay?”

She smiled and squeezed his hand once. “Yeah. I think we will be.”

**********************

“Is it weird that this place seems less nice than the crypt?” Dawn asked as she bounded through the door, stopping in the middle of the basement apartment Angel had generously and not at all reluctantly provided for Spike at Buffy’s request. He was inclined to agree. The walls were dark gray cement blocks, casting shadows over a bed much smaller than the extravagant one he’d had under his crypt. He closed the door behind them and turned on the lamps on either side of a bright orange couch, illuminating the room and revealing just how much the lack of windows was affecting the small space. He didn’t think he’d ever been as grateful for his innate ability to tell where the sun was in the sky as he was at that moment.

“What is this? A library of required reading?” Dawn had stopped in front of a bookshelf pressed against one wall, tilting her head to read the spines. Spike peeled his coat off and deposited it on the coat rack by the front door, moving to join her as Buffy crossed the room to drop the plastic grocery bags on the kitchen counter running along one wall. “Othello, Slaughterhouse Five, Catch 22, Invisible Man-”

“Which one?” Spike asked.

Dawn looked at him with a puzzled expression. “There’s more than one? What’s the difference?”

“ _ The  _ Invisible Man is about an actual man who turns invisible. Invisible Man, no ‘the’, is not.”

Dawn pulled the book off the shelf and showed him the cover. “No ‘the’. I didn’t have to read this one at Sunnydale High. Do you know it?”

“I’ve read it, yeah. Wish I hadn't.  _ The _ Invisible Man is a much better story….though I have to admit, I much prefer the invisible woman.” He shot Buffy a wink, laughing softly at the fond eye roll he received in response even as he could feel her heart speed up at the memory.

Dawn put the book back and dropped down onto the sofa, stretching out with a content sigh. “I like this couch. Comfy. And Andrew and Xander would flip out over this game system.” She rolled onto her side to look up at Spike. “Why aren’t they coming again?”

“Because I want some time with my girls.” He came up behind Buffy, tentatively wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. When she didn’t flinch away, he pulled her to his chest, marveling at the feel of her against him. He had been clinging to the memory of this for months, an imperfect copy of the real thing. He had forgotten the steady movement of her body as she breathed, the scent of her shampoo, the way her heat warmed him in turn.

“You know.” She tilted her head up and looked at him in exasperation. “I can’t work like this.”

He kissed her forehead. “Sure you can. You’ve got your hands free. Get to it, Slayer.”

“I can’t move my feet.”

“So?”

“So I can’t get to the stove, or the cutting board, or knives, or anything I need to cook.” There was a playfulness in her voice when she added, “You need to let go of me.”

“Make me.”

Buffy twisted in his arms, pushed onto her toes, and kissed him. His eyes widened in surprise before he let them close, relaxing into her with a soft groan from the back of his throat. This. He had spent more time being afraid he wouldn’t get this back than he had missing it. “Not right now,” she teased, dropping back onto the heels of her feet. “I don’t need my little sister watching us.”

“I’m not watching you,” Dawn said, too quickly for it to be the truth.

Spike huffed a laugh and released Buffy, turning to the teen. “What’d you get?”

“Chicken tenders,” she said, fiddling with the remote for the television. “Nice and simple. Oh, and stuff for cookies. Just like old times.”

“Old times?” Buffy asked, bemused. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Spike said sharply, shooting Dawn a pointed look. The girl stared up at him with an unreadable expression. “She didn’t mean anything by it.”

Dawn stopped playing with the television and stood, crossing her arms over her chest and flicking her gaze from Spike’s pleading expression to the confused look he was certain Buffy was sporting. “You never told her.”

“Never told me what?”

He shrugged with a nonchalance he didn’t feel. “Didn’t seem important.”

“Spike, of course it was important. You pretty much single handedly kept me alive that summer.” She stepped closer, lowering her voice. “Why didn’t you tell her? You had to know the others wouldn’t say anything.”

“It’s complicated, Nibblet,” he said softly. Aside from there never being a good time to mention it and not knowing what the Slayer’s reaction would be, he hadn’t wanted or needed recognition for helping Dawn. He’d done it because he had promised her sister and because he cared about the girl, not to win Buffy’s heart. Willow had been trying to find the spell, Tara had been trying to support her girlfriend, and Xander and Anya had been preoccupied processing their own grief. None of them had been able to see through Dawn’s brave mask, too caught up in their own sorrow.

“What?” Buffy said. “What am I missing?”

“A few days after you died I went to visit your grave,” Dawn said, stepping around the vampire. He sat on the couch, keeping his gaze trained on the floor and loosely clasping his hands where they dangled between his knees. Clearly Dawn wanted her sister to know what he’d done and if he’d learned anything about the girl during those three terrible months, it was that she had the Slayer’s determination. “Spike was there.”

“I went every night,” he said, voice low. “Don’t know why. Guess I was hoping someone would show up and realize I was mourning you, too. They were all quick to pretend I wasn’t around. When I saw Anya for the first time after you jumped, she told me she’d thought I dusted myself out of grief.”

“He didn’t,” Dawn said quickly. “Obviously, he didn’t since he’s still here. But he wouldn’t have, anyways. He kept an eye on me. Even when the others were around, he was always there. I could tell.”

“So what happened?” Buffy asked. “When you were….”

“I sat next to him and just completely broke down,” the younger Summers girl said, continuing with the story. “We stayed there all night trading stories about you. I told him about the time when we were younger and I accidentally broke your arm and when we went to see  _ Les Mis _ in New York with our parents. He told me about the time you thought you were a Victorian lady and he nearly killed you. And the fight you two had when he had the Gem of Amara. Oh, and the spell that made you two think you were engaged.” She smiled softly. “I made him tell me that one a lot. Spike’s a really good storyteller. We did that for, like, three nights straight and eventually, he was the only person I felt like I could be honest around. No one saw through me except for him.”

“Everyone was spending their days at the Magic Box trying to fix the robot,” Spike said, refusing to look in Buffy’s direction. “So Dawn asked me to come to the house and be with her during the day. I’d take the sewers there in the morning and take off before the witches came home.”

“He taught me how to cook,” Dawn jumped in. “Well, ‘he made me cook with him’ is probably more accurate. We knew he’d have to stop coming by once the bot was up and running and he wanted to make sure I could feed myself since we weren’t sure what it would be able to do. We’d make simple things. Soup, mac and cheese, scrambled eggs. Chicken tenders. Cookies, even though that was more baking.”

“That’s how you ended up helping them that summer,” Buffy said. “Someone caught you with Dawn and she vouched for you.”

“Not exactly.” He finally looked up, meeting her quizzical gaze. “Glinda and Elphaba were spending a day at the Magic Box with Anya and Harris. Dawn gave me a heads up the day before.”

“I didn’t want to be alone with the robot,” the younger Summers said. “You know the people who say that if it looks like a duck and acts like a duck, then it’s a duck? They’ve never had to consider what it’s like when the real duck is gone and a rubber one has taken its place.”

Part of him ached deeply at the familiar words, an unpleasant reminder of days spent either at his crypt instead of at her home or at the Summers’ residence and pretending the Buffybot wasn’t there. Dawn had said the duck line to him multiple times that summer and again to the Scoobies when asked why she was so hesitant about the bot living with them.

“After I left, it told the witches I’d spent the day with it and Dawn,” he said, deciding not to tell Buffy about Dawn taking a page from her big sis’ book and asking him to take her to his crypt while the robot charged. “The cat was out of the bag at that point. I don’t know what you said, Nibblet, but they accepted me into the Scooby gang. Reluctantly, obviously, but they let me in.”

“He spent the nights on my bedroom floor.” Buffy raised her eyebrows and Dawn quickly added, “I had nightmares sometimes and didn’t want anyone to know. I think they  _ did  _ know because no one questioned why he was in my room and not in the basement or something, but they never asked me about it. Anyways, Spike knew ‘cause I’d taken a nap once and had a really bad one. He calmed me down when I woke up freaked. I wanted him there if it happened again.”

Buffy crossed the room in silence, lowering herself next to him on the couch. One of her hands rested on both of his.”Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew everyone would think I did it to win you over,” he said. He hadn’t known they were going to bring her back so he  _ couldn’t _ have been doing it for credit, but he knew the Scoobies wouldn’t have seen it like that. “I didn’t. I did it because I made a promise to you. Because your sister needed someone to be there for her.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. Her eyes shone with tears and he gently swiped away a stray before it could run to her chin. “To do that and expect nothing from it….I can’t understand how you think you don’t deserve forgiveness.”

“Well, if you saw the kitchen after some of our attempts,” Dawn said in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Tara and Willow certainly weren’t all that forgiving. Remember the meringues?”

“Hey, I never claimed to be a baker.” Spike pointed an accusatory finger at her. “That was all you.”

“Hey!” she squawked. “You’re the one who decided that Dawn, a glass bowl full of egg whites, and an electric mixer were a good idea.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “You gave her the electric hand mixer?”

“She told me she knew how to use it! I can’t be held responsible when my faith was put in a lie.”

“Willow wasn’t too impressed with us. She refused to clean it up with magic.” Dawn started giggling. “You should have seen Spike. They were partially whipped and some got in his hair, so-”

“Hey, you weren’t much better off. It was all over your shirt, Miss Mix-A-Lot.” Her giggles turned to full on laughter as he stood, nodding to the forgotten bags. “Shall we show big sis what we learned?”

Dawn grinned, bouncing over to the counter and finishing Buffy’s unpacking job. A warm hand found his cheek and he turned away from the teenager to look at the Slayer. “I’m serious, Spike. Thank you.”

“Anything for you and Dawn.” He took the hand on his face and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles.

“Anything?” Buffy asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

“I don’t like that look.”

She shrugged one shoulder as she wrapped her arm around his, leading him towards her sister. “How do you feel about some good old fashion breaking and entering?”

\------------------------------------------

Buffy glided past Spike, cocking her head at the vampire watching her from the other side of the clear walls. He leaned against one panel, coat on the bench beside him and arms crossed as he followed her movements with a strange expression on his face. She was reminded of the last time she’d stepped on the ice, the date she was supposed to have gone on with Angel when Spike sent an assassin to kill her. “Are you going to come join me?” she called out to him. “Or are you scared this will just be another thing I’m better than you at?”

He smirked, but pushed off the wall and stepped onto the ice. He caught her wrist as she passed him again, catching her by the forearms when she stumbled. “Be careful what you challenge me to, love,” he said. He slipped his hands down her arms to interlace their fingers, moving backwards and gently pulling her along with him as he followed the wall. “I’ve had a bit more experience than you.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you know Dru loved to dance?” He took one of her hands and raised it over her head, spinning her so her back pressed against the front of his shoulder. “Probably still does. She’d twirl around the room to music only she could hear. More often than not she’d grab me and make me waltz with her. She claimed Angel was a better dancer, but he rarely entertained her fantasies.”

“What does this have to do with skating experience?”

She yelped as suddenly his hands were on her waist and she was twisted around so she was facing him. “Ice dancing is similar to regular dancing, love, and believe it or not I did need a break from Dru on occasion.” 

“So you’re pretty good, huh?”

Spike placed her back on the ice. “I’m alright.”

“Then show me something impressive.”

“You want to see something impressive?” He drew closer to her and she shivered at his breath on her ear. “Do you trust me?”

She nodded. “I do.”

One hand rested lightly at her back as his other swept under her knees, lifting her off her feet and suddenly she was in the air, laughing as he spun. Too quickly for her to follow, he moved and suddenly she was back on the ice looking up into his eyes as he tugged her along with one hand, his left in hers. “Is that good enough for you, Slayer?”

She hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know. What else can you do?”

His gaze flicked over her. “You’re strong, yeah?”

“Hello? Slayer? Yeah, I’m strong. Why?”

“Because the real impressive stuff requires both skaters, not just one. You’re sure you trust me?”

“I trust you.”

“Right, then. You know that trick you do with the block? The handstand?” She nodded. “Grab my shoulder.” She listened to him, placing her hand and pretending her stomach didn’t drop when he winked at her. “Get ready to push, pet.”

“Get ready to  _ what _ ?”

His hands moved to her waist and shoulder and she moved on instinct, pushing herself up into a ball and clinging to him.  _ Oh. The handstand. _ She stretched her legs straight up, thankful that she had decided to wear jeans today instead of a skirt. She found herself face to face with Spike as he gently spun in a tight circle. “You’re a natural.”

“More warning than that would have been nice. Shouldn’t you be starting with something easier?”

He shrugged, switching from small circles in the center of the rink to steadily larger ones around the outer edge. “We’ve got good instincts and a hell of a lot more strength than most athletes. These complicated moves are a piece of cake. Can you do a split?”

“I was a cheerleader, Spike. I’d hope I can do something as basic as a split.”

“Drop one leg over my shoulder. Yep, just like that. Now twist a little so-Perfect.” She found her back suddenly against his chest, his hands under her knees and supporting her in her split. He didn’t stop his circling. “Because you can handle something a little harder.”

“How did you figure out these moves?” Buffy asked. She bent her front knee in a silent request and he obliged, spinning to a stop and setting her down. “Drusilla couldn’t have been strong enough to do that.”

“She was, once upon a time,” he said. “But it’s much less strain on me when you do it.”

“Oh yeah?”

He cocked his head. “Dru was lighter, but you’re stronger. I don’t need to support you if you can support yourself.”

“What if I want you to support me every once in a while?”

“I’ll be there.” Spike’s hands cupped her face, slightly warmer than usual from holding her. “I’ll always be there, pet, even when you don’t want me to be. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Recap: Fred and Wesley use the amulet and a modified version of Angel’s curse to restore Spike’s body. After, Buffy and Spike sit in the Viper and discuss the nature of their relationship after she came back from the dead, ultimately agreeing that there’s nothing they can do to change what happened but they’re healing now and can forgive each other for their past actions. They pick up Dawn from the hotel and go to the apartment Angel gave to Spike where Buffy learns that he took care of Dawn during the summer she was dead. Later, Buffy and Spike break into an ice skating rink where she learns that he and Drusilla used to dance and that he taught himself to skate using what he knew from Dru. The chapter ends with Buffy making Spike promise her that he’s not going to leave.
> 
> Chapter Notes: I did my best to have the conversation between Buffy and Spike be reasonable. Sexual assault isn’t an issue where the lines are always clear and as their relationship was a mess of mixed signals with an added supernatural element thrown in, it makes the web that much more difficult to untangle. I did my best to show this and sincerely hope that that was what was portrayed.
> 
> On a much lighter note, as a creatively inclined person myself, I strongly believe that Spike’s love for words continued after he was turned. Did I push some of my own opinions of classic literature onto a fictional character so I could tip the hat to my fave and subtly bash the worst book I’ve ever read? Maybe....


	8. Slayer

Buffy woke to a phone ringing.

She shifted with a groan, taking a moment to get her bearings. She was in yesterday’s clothes in Spike’s arms on Spike’s bed in Spike’s new apartment because Spike was now corporeal. She looked to her right and found Spike himself, also in yesterday’s clothes and still asleep. She had never paid much attention before, but she noticed now that his chest rose and fell and she wondered if it was muscle memory from needing to do it as a human. He really was-

The ringing started up again. Had it stopped? She wasn’t sure. What time was it? She sat up and fished her phone out of her purse. “Hello?” she answered and cringed. She definitely sounded like she’d just woken up. “Who is this?”

“Buffy? It’s Angel. Don’t you have caller ID?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m a little out of it.”

“Sorry to call you so late, or early, I guess, but we could really use your help.”

She waved a hand even though she knew he couldn’t see it. “It’s fine, really. What’s the sitch?”

“A girl broke out of a mental institution. We think she might be possessed. I need you and Spike here ASAP.”

“On it. Be there in, like, twenty?”

“Make it fifteen.” 

He hung up, leaving her to glare at her phone. “Sometimes I wonder who he thinks he is.”

“What was that about?”

She looked down at Spike with a tired smile. “The ringing woke you up too?”

“Unfortunately.” He sat up and, unable to help herself, she pressed a quick peck to his lips.

“We’ve got fifteen minutes-”

Spike swung his feet to the side of the bed and tugged on his boots. “We have plenty of time. The ponce won’t do anything until we get there.” She pulled on her sandals and ran her fingers through her hair in the absence of a brush. “Buffy, you look fine. Don’t worry so much.”

She dropped her hands and shot him a glare that held no heat. “You just want Angel to think we were sleeping together.”

“Isn’t that what we were doing?”

“You better not say anything to him.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“You’re already dead.”

Spike shrugged, the picture of innocence as he shrugged his coat on. “Guess you’ll need to find some other way to keep me quiet.”

She rolled her eyes fondly. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” He took her hand in his, locking the door behind them and leading her to the parking garage. “Am I driving or are you?”

“You,” she said firmly. “Definitely you. Tired Buffy plus steering wheel equals expensive car going through a wall.”

“Want me to stop somewhere for coffee?”

“Will you stop that! I know you and Angel have your problems, but can you please be the bigger person this time? For me?” She looked up at him, giving her best puppy dog eyes. He groaned, but nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re lucky I love you.”

She smiled at him as she opened the passenger side door. “So I've been told.”

\--------------------------------------------------

Buffy blew out a breath, looking around at the crime scene. Red and blue lights flashed from the police cars, illuminating what pieces of the parking lot weren’t already visible from the fluorescent lights of the department store. Shoppers were huddled in front of the store trying not to look at the cops or the man on the gurney or the blood spattering the pavement. “How are we supposed to find anything here?” she asked. “There are way too many for us to….Spike?”

Wordlessly, Spike had slipped away from her side to weave through the officers, civilians, and police cruisers. She followed a few steps behind and watched as he swept his coat back to bend down and lightly run his fingers over the pavement, wrinkling her nose in distaste when he sniffed his fingers. He passed between the cars and she fell into step beside him, waiting for him to be well on the trail before she asked,“Blood?”

He nodded. “I’ve got the scent.”

“Hers?”

“Don’t think so. With possession cases it usually has a trace of demon in it. This is all human.”

“Think it’s on her weapon?”

“Don’t know how else it could have gotten out there.” He came to a stop beside a large building, falling still as he sniffed the air. She put her hands in the pockets of her jacket and waited patiently for him to find what he was looking for. She had found his enhanced sense of smell strange for a while but after she learned it was his nose that led him to her the night her friends kicked her out, she’d discovered a new appreciation for the predator in the man. And right now it was definitely something she was grateful for. They would have been running around the city all night if not for his demon-ness.

“She’s in there,” he finally said, jerking his head towards the building. “Should we call the boss man and let him know we found her?”

“She’s just a possessed teenage girl, right?” Buffy asked. “We’ve taken on worse without Angel there to help. We’ll be fine. Besides, I don’t really want to call him. I’m way too tired to deal with his ‘grr, I need to protect you’ attitude.”

Spike chuckled. “You and me both.”

She led the way into the building, following Spike’s quiet instructions until they were a few floors up and entering a mostly empty and very dusty room that seemed entirely made of wood and concrete. Buffy immediately felt her defenses drop into place. It would be too easy for Spike to die in here.

The girl standing by the window was maybe a few years older than Buffy herself, dark hair falling to her shoulders in lanky strands. “Hello?” Buffy called out softly. The girl turned, revealing a line of red running down her nose and two more down either cheek. Her dark eyes flicked between the two of them in what could have either been fear or confusion. A bone saw in one hand dripped blood onto the floor. “Are you Dana?” she asked, stepping forward cautiously with every sentence. “I’m Buffy.”

Step.

“This is Spike.”

Step.

“We want to help you.”

Step.

The girl lunged forward and Buffy cried out as the blade sliced into her skin. She kicked on instinct, sending the girl flying into a wooden shelf against one wall. It collapsed onto her as she fell to the ground. “Spike?”

“I’m good.” She didn’t have the chance to visibly make sure he was telling the truth as a soft cracking echoed through the space and he shifted into full vampire mode. “Seems like we need to have a chat. Demon to demon.”

The girl stood, throwing herself at Spike. Buffy didn’t see what she was holding, but she saw the alarmed look on Spike’s face as he danced out of her way. She let out a wordless cry and darted forward, landing a hit to the girl’s back with a loud  _ thump _ . A fist collided with Buffy’s stomach and she grunted, stumbling back and allowing Spike to crack a punch across Dana’s jaw. “We’re trying to  _ help _ her, remember?” Buffy snapped.

“She’s got a  _ stake _ .” He caught the wrist of the woman’s empty hand, twisted her arm, and shoved her to the ground. “You want to let her kill me a third time?”

“Not particularly.” She ran to help pin the girl down only to find her legs swept out from under her. She landed hard on her back, gasping as the wind left her stomach painfully. Buffy rolled onto her side and slowly picked herself up as she struggled to regain control of both the situation and her body.

Dana said something in a language she didn’t recognize, bringing the Slayer’s attention to where the girl had Spike pressed back against a support pillar. His hands were up and pushing back against the stake poised precariously close to his heart. The vampire smirked, no longer in his game face, and chuckled softly. “Sorry, love,” he said. “I don’t speak Chinese.”

He threw them both sideways, sending the stake skittering away as the two crashed to the ground. Buffy shot to her feet and ran forward, too slow to stop Dana from shoving Spike off of her and through the window. “Spike!” She ran to the window, looking through the shattered glass to where he was lying on his stomach in the middle of the road. He wasn’t moving, but he wasn’t a pile of dust, either. She chose to consider this a good thing.

She looked between the possessed girl and the vampire several stories below her, choosing to let the girl go in favor of launching herself through the hole Spike’s body had created and landing with much more grace than he had.

“Spike!” She dropped down beside him, rolling him onto his back as he coughed. His nose was bleeding and he had a few cuts from the glass, but otherwise he seemed to be in one piece. “Oh my God. Are you okay?”

“Fine, love. Takes more than that to take out a vampire.”

Bright golden light fell over the two of them and if it hadn’t been approaching two in the morning, she might have thought it was the sunrise. Buffy squinted as she stood and helped Spike to his feet, bringing everything into perspective. The car turned off and the headlights went dark as the driver stepped out of the car. “What the hell were you two thinking?” Angel demanded, slamming the door shut.

“You were taking too long and we could track her,” Buffy said. She kept her face blank as Spike leaned on her and she made a note to talk to him about belly flopping from high places and what it does to  _ anyone’s _ body regardless of if it will kill them. “So we did.”

“It’s a Chinese demon possessing her,” Spike said. “Maybe a water dragon or one of those elemental things.”

Angel shook his head, pushing past them without a word. Buffy considered telling him the girl was almost certainly gone, but dismissed the thought. If he wanted to withhold information, she could too.

\------------------------------------

Buffy rested her head against Spike’s shoulder as they walked hand in hand along the docks. It was still early morning, somewhere between two thirty and three, which left Buffy looking up at unfamiliar patterns in the stars. She glanced over at the vampire only to find he was already looking at her. “I thought you were supposed to be smelling for blood?”

“I thought you were supposed to be looking for signs of the psycho Slayer.”

“Her name is Dana,” she said. She wasn’t sure why it felt important, but it did. Maybe because so many Potentials had died and she never even learned their names. She wasn’t going to let that happen again. 

“I know that,” he said. “But there’s so many names to keep straight. Don’t know how you did it.”

“Honestly? I didn’t.” She laughed a little at the memories. For a while she knew the names, but not the faces they went with. Once they’d hit twenty Potentials under the roof, she’d given up trying. “What did you do?”

“Just called you all something like that. The psycho Slayer, the textbook Slayer, the wannabe, the bitch.”

“And what am I?”

“Then or now?”

“Both.”

“Well back then you were  _ the _ Slayer,” he said. “The only one as far as I was concerned. The girl after you drowned ended up dead and Faith was never someone I had to worry about. There was only ever you. The Slayer.”

“And now?”

He stopped walking and faced her, his hands becoming a welcome weight on her hips. “Now?” Her eyes fluttered shut as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips cool against her skin as he murmured, “You’re  _ my  _ Slayer.”

“Yours, huh?” She smiled, taking his face in her hands and tilting his lips down to hers. “I like the sound of that.”

“Wait.”

She sighed, releasing him and stepping back. She thought she’d been clear on this but apparently they weren’t as on the same page as she thought. Hopefully they were only a few lines off and not a whole chapter. “Spike, we talked about this-”

“No.” He shook his head. “Buffy, I can smell something.”

“Slayer blood?” Wow, that felt weird to say. How was it possible for an insane Slayer to be confused with a person possessed by a demon? And why did Slayer blood have to be different from human blood? She was human, dammit. She looked like a human, talked like a human, walked like a human…. though between Dawn’s logic and the man standing next to her, she knew that didn’t mean much.

“No,” he said again, walking down the dock at a brisk pace. She jogged to catch up to him and fell into step when she reached him. Why were vampires so fast? “It’s human. Getting stronger. I think it might be a-” He stopped short unexpectedly, but she managed to stop with him. “Body,” he finished. His gaze darted over the man’s corpse for only a moment before drifting up and forward. 

“What is it?”

“The trail doesn’t end there.”

“The saw.”

“Think so, pet. Let’s go.”

She glanced down at the corpse just long enough to draw Spike’s attention. She didn’t dare look too long. She didn’t want to have the image of another human body scorched into her brain. “What about the-”

“We’ll call it into the Justice League after we find Dana,” he said, the hunter retreating enough for her to see the man underneath. “But we can’t wait around. Dana’s here somewhere. Are you coming with me?”

“She’s a Slayer. Of course I’m going with you.”

He took off running and she followed, lungs burning as he led them through the docks. She became lost quickly amidst all the crates and boats, but Spike seemed to know where they were going so she was content to follow. He came to a sudden halt and she collided with his back, stumbling and catching herself on one of the many large crates littering the space. “Warn a girl next time,” she muttered, stepping past him to examine the alley he had stopped in front of.

“It’s stronger here,” he said, hovering behind her shoulder as she mentally preened. Now that Dana was a confirmed Slayer he wasn’t as eager to rush into a fight. Or maybe he was, she mused after letting the thought settle for a moment, but as impulsive as Spike was, he wasn’t stupid. He knew a Slayer versus a Slayer had a better end than a Slayer versus a vampire. Either way, he was letting her take the lead and she appreciated it. “Still not hers, I don’t think, but it’s definitely stronger.”

“Spike,” she whispered, nodding to the wall at the other end of the alley. “Look.”

“Oh, bloody hell.”

“Yeah. Bloody is….a word I would use.” She walked down the alley, tilting her head at the smear of red on the wall. Even without Spike’s confirmation, she could tell that there was no way it could have come from Dana. There was too much for the girl to still be alive if it was hers. She shook her head. “There’s nothing here, Spike. Just the blood. It’s a dead end.”

“No. She’s here.”

She didn’t look at him as she asked, “How do you know?”

“Vamps can feel Slayers like you can feel us. It’s how you always knew when I was around. How I was always able to find you.” He drew up beside her, walking with her as she crept towards the blood. “There’s another Slayer here.”

“Where?”

“Not sure. You’re throwing me off.”

Buffy opened her mouth to ask him for a guess when something dropped onto her from above. She hit the ground hard but quickly scrambled to her feet to sprint after Spike as he chased Dana. She caught up to them quickly, trailing the girl through the docks and into a distillery until she vanished down a set of stairs. “Stay behind me,” she said to Spike, slowly descending into the black.

Blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness, she was able to make out several wooden barrels scattered around the basement and groups of metal pipes that seemed to be supporting the ceiling. Rusting chains were pooled at the base of a thicker pipe and to her right, a grate had been pulled off the wall and placed on a dusty wooden table beside a metal box. The space inside seemed empty, but it was too dark for her to be sure.

Dana stopped her frantic pacing when she heard them, looking from Buffy to Spike. “Dana?” Buffy said softly, holding out a hand as though approaching a wild animal. “I need you to listen to me.”

“Heart and head,” the girl said. Her voice was deeper than Buffy had thought it would be. The girl was so small. How had she caused so much destruction since her escape?

“That’s Slayer talk,” Spike said.

“Stab the heart. Cut off the head. Only way to be sure.” She looked up at Buffy through her bangs, eyes fearful as they flicked to Spike. “Keep cutting ‘til you see dust.”

“He’s not going to hurt you, Dana. He’s here to help.” If Angel was right and she was having visions of other Slayers, then maybe…. “I’m Buffy Summers,” she said, taking a step forward. “Do you know who I am?”

“Please don’t.” Dana shrank away from them, retreating to a darker part of the basement. Buffy frowned. The girl was acting like a completely different person. “I have to get back to my son. My Robin….”

“Robin?”

“Nikki Wood,” Spike said with realization. Then, with a note of warning, “You probably don’t want to think about that, pet.”

Buffy felt a tendril of dread grip her heart. Dana was apparently remembering past Slayers, but they’d only seen her channeling two. She had spoken Chinese earlier. 

_ Become a vampire, you've got nothing to fear. Nothing but one girl. That's you, honey. Back then... it was her. _

Now she was remembering Nikki Wood.

_ The first was all business but the second, she had a touch of your style. She was cunning, resourceful… _

Shit.

“Spike,” Buffy said softly as the vampire and the Slayer circled the other Slayer around the room. “We have to get out of here.”

She felt his gaze on the back of her neck. “I thought you wanted to help her?”

“I do. But not if it means you might die.”

“I’ll be fine, Slayer. I can handle myself.”

She groaned in frustration, taking her eyes off Dana for only a moment to glance at him. “Remember what Angel told us? Her parents were killed and she was tortured?”

He eyed Dana warily, but the girl didn’t move towards them, instead examining Spike with an expression Buffy didn’t like. “Yeah. What’s that got to do with-”

“She’s insane and remembering the Slayers you killed, Spike. She thinks-”

“William the Bloody.” Dana’s frightened gaze became a glare.

“No,” he said, the alarm in his voice a reflection of what Buffy was feeling as the Slayer sized up the vampire like a predator inspecting its competition. They had just started! How had things already spiraled so far out of their control? “No, no. That isn’t going to lead anywhere good.”

“Dana, listen, you-” Buffy was shoved aside, crashing into the barrels as something thumped to the ground. She shoved herself to her feet just in time to see Dana roughly stab something into Spike’s neck. She scrambled away from the vampire as he tried to stand, only to collapse to the ground. “Spike?”

“What did you do to me?” he demanded.

“Yellows make you weak,” Dana said, voice barely a whisper.

Buffy positioned herself between the Slayer and the vampire, raising her fists. “You know, I’m getting real sick of people trying to kill my vampires,” she said.

“Can’t hurt me anymore.”

“I never hurt you,” Spike said, his words slurring together in a worrying way. She glanced at him for only a moment, concern wrapping its icy fingers around her heart as she watched his eyes roll back in his head as he fought the effects of whatever drug Dana had given him.

The Slayer shook her head. “Can’t hurt me anymore.”

“Dana, we’re not trying to hurt you,” Buffy insisted. “We’re trying to help. I’m like you. I’m a Slayer, too.”

“William the Bloody,” Dana said. “He killed them.”

“Yes. He killed them. But he didn’t hurt you. Your real memories and Slayer memories are getting all mixed together and-” The girl moved suddenly, grabbing a second syringe and inspecting it. Buffy felt her stomach drop.  _ She’s going to kill him. _ “What’s that?”

“Brown makes you sleepy.”

“Dana, he didn’t hurt you,” she insisted, growing desperate. “You have to believe me.”

“Head and heart,” Dana said, approaching Spike and by proxy, her. “Keep cutting ‘til you see dust.”

Buffy lunged for her. “No!”

Three darts quickly hit Dana’s back, sending her collapsing to the ground. Angel walked to the girl without a word while Buffy rushed to Spike. She knelt beside him, gently tapping his cheek with one hand. “Spike? Come on, say something.” He tried to land his unfocused gaze on her and succeeded for only a moment before his eyes rolled back and his head lolled. “No, no, no. Stay awake. Just until we know what happened.”

“Some kind of sedative.” Fred crouched beside Buffy, inspecting a syringe with a yellow liquid sloshing inside. Where had she come from? “It clearly wasn’t strong enough to knock him out. I’d guess it’ll wear off in an hour or so.”

“No.” Buffy shook her head. “She said something, she said ‘yellows make you weak’. This was only supposed to incapacitate him.”

“Why did she go after him in the first place?”

“She thought he killed her family.”

Fred looked down at him, gaze more curious than frightened. She really was a scientist, all the way down to her core. “But he didn’t?”

Buffy shook her head. “We fought her earlier this morning and it was obvious he didn’t know who she was. I don’t know who did this to her, but it wasn’t Spike.”

“We know,” Angel said gruffly. “You’re right, it wasn’t him.” The unspoken  _ this time _ hung in the air like a silent threat. Fred stood and walked off with only a sympathetic smile aimed at Buffy.

“Send Dana to Giles,” Buffy said, standing and brushing dust off her jeans. She needed to be at her full height for this conversation. “He’ll be able to help her better than any of us here, or at the very least find someone who can give her what she needs.”

“She’s coming with us.”

“This isn’t up for debate, Angel. The girl goes to Giles or I have Andrew make a call. You don’t want Andrew to make a call.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Enlighten me so I know the stakes. What happens when Andrew makes a call?”

“Willow comes.” 

“Willow? The witch who’s too afraid to use her magic? I’m shaking in my boots.”

Buffy looked Angel up and down in disgust. “What is your damage? I don’t have time to deal with you and I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation. Dana goes to Giles. If you won’t listen, that’s fine. In any other situation I’d get Wesley to try and talk you out of it, but I don’t really want to leave Spike alone with you while I go get him.”

“What, you think I’m going to stake your boyfriend?”

“He’s defenseless. Don’t try to tell me the thought didn’t cross your mind.” She shook her head and let the bitter laugh that bubbled up in her chest pass through her lips. “I don’t know what Wolfram and Hart’s deal is, but it’s nothing good. You say that you’re fighting the good fight and that you’re on my side but I have a hard time believing that these days.”

“Because I’m the CEO?”

“Because you’re becoming more like Angelus every day.” She crouched down to try and coax Spike back to awareness, hoping her silent signal that the conversation was over was received. “Bring the girl to Giles or you’ll have to deal with one very angry Slayer and a witch who’s getting better at controlling her powers with every passing second.”

She heard Angel turn and stalk off and let out a deep breath, sitting and pulling Spike’s head into her lap. He struggled for a moment, but managed to focus on her. “Buffy?”

“It’s me. Angel’s here. Him and Wesley managed to take Dana down with some tranquilizers.” She laced their fingers together and pretended it didn’t worry her that he didn’t react to her squeeze. “I was trying to tell you before but you didn’t listen. She thought you killed her parents and tortured her.”

“I didn’t-”

She shushed him, moving her hand from his to his forehead and running her fingers gently through his hair. “Don’t waste your strength. I believe you. Do you think you can walk if you lean on me?”

“Don’t think so, pet,” he said, words so slurred she almost couldn’t understand him.

“Okay. Give me a second.” She shifted, tugged her phone from her pocket, considered it for a moment, and looked back to him. “What happened to the cell phone I gave you?”

“Phone?”

_ Not the time, Buffy. _ “Nevermind.” She shook her head, flipped open her phone, and pressed seven. Really, he should be higher on her speed dial because she still hadn’t removed the house phone as number two, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

“Xander’s phone.”

She frowned. “Dawn? Where’s Xander?”

“Using the bathroom.”

“Why are you still awake?”

“When we heard you were out chasing that Slayer, we decided to head to Wolfram and Hart and stay up in case you needed us. Which, clearly, you do.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to sound so smug about it. We just need a car. Something happened and we can’t walk...well, anywhere.”

“What happened?” Someone said something in the background. “Oh, Xander’s back. Here you go.”

“Xander?”

“Buffy? What’s up?”

“Dana decided to play mad scientist and Spike got caught in the crossfire. He’s weak and super out of it and we didn’t drive here. Can you come pick us up?”

“Where are you?”

“Some kind of distillery near the docks. Angel or someone in the Justice League can probably give you an address.”

She heard the sound of a car door closing and an engine starting. “Andrew got me the place. They all left you there?”

“Yeah. I kind of pissed Angel off, but he deserved it. Fred probably would have given us a ride but I guess she forgot we-” Spike moved and she was quick to catch him before he could slide off of her legs. “Hey. Stay with me, Spike. Stay awake.”

“It’s bad?”

“He’ll live.”

“We’ll be there in ten.”

“See you then.”

\--------------------------------------------------

They’d decided not to go to dinner the next day, instead congregating in Spike’s apartment and taking a day to rest. None of them slept, too used to working strange hours as the Scooby Gang, but they relaxed in a way Buffy thought she hadn’t done in ages. 

Just as Dawn had predicted, Xander and Andrew took an immediate liking to Spike’s game console. The girl herself was laid out on the floor in front of the couch, her jacket balled up like a pillow under her head and a blanket covering her as she watched the two boys. Buffy and Spike were on the bed, Buffy curled against him and pretending she wasn’t also reading the book he had picked up from the collection Angel had left in the bookshelf. His reaction, a sharp laugh and shake of his head, had been so instinctual that she was curious what punch Angel had thrown.

Reading it, she wasn’t completely sure what Angel’s game was. She hadn’t gathered much of the story thanks to Spike’s slow speed through the short novel, something she found strange considering that she had heard him telling Dawn what he thought of most of the books on the shelf. Glancing up at his face, she realized he was reading some lines over and over again, sometimes reading a whole page two or three times before moving on. Unable to help herself, she finally scoffed and said, “Am I supposed to like Daisy? ‘Cause she’s really annoying me.”

He glanced down at her with a small smile. “You’ve been reading along?”

“Maybe. Answer the question.”

“Don’t think you’re supposed to like any of them, except maybe Wilson. I’ve always been partial to Gatsby, myself. You know, it’s funny. I was just talking to Angel about this not too long ago.”

“Yeah?”

“When I was a ghost. He told me that if I was Gatsby, he was….” He trailed off and shook his head. “Nevermind. Doesn’t matter. Who cares what the big poof thinks?” He closed the book, dropping it onto the floor next to the bed. “I know I don’t.”

“You aren’t going to finish it?”

“I’ve read it before,” he said. “And I don’t think you’ll like how it ends.”

“I won’t know until I read it.”

“Buffy.” Her smile slipped at the tense look in his eyes. “Trust me. You don’t want to know how that one plays out.”

“But let me guess, you think it’s artistically important or whatever?” She scoffed. “Don’t tell me  _ you _ don’t like the ending if you were going to read it just now.”

“Just drop it, love.”

Xander, Andrew, and Dawn all let out a shout, startling Buffy into knocking foreheads with Spike. She shot a glare at the three that quickly dissipated when she took in the picture they made. Andrew was standing on the couch with his hands pressed to his temples, Xander had his hands over his mouth, and Dawn had sat up, eyes wide with shock.“Oh my God!” Andrew cried, voice shrill. “He just killed Archibald!”

“What’s happening?” Buffy asked, confused.

“Lysanderoth just betrayed us and killed the best character,” Dawn said with far more energy than Buffy had thought her sister could have for a video game. “Oh my God. You’ve  _ got  _ to kill this guy.”

“Oh we are  _ so _ killing this guy,” Xander said, picking up his controller. Andrew dropped down beside him on the couch, high fiving his friend before they jumped back into the game

“You keep strange company, pet,” Spike said.

She repositioned herself on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder without moving his hand from its place at her hip. “You’re the strangest of all,” she said fondly, meeting him halfway for a gentle kiss.

“PDA!” Dawn cried from across the room.

\----------------------------------

She read the book after everyone else fell asleep and figured out very quickly what punch Angel had been throwing.  _ I’ve always been partial to Gatsby, myself. _ Angel was  _ so _ going to pay for this once she got to the law firm.

She wondered for a moment why Spike would voluntarily read something so blatantly targeted towards him, in more ways than one, then felt her heart clench painfully as realization dawned on her. Angel struck him in the stomach and Spike took the hit just to see if it would hurt. “Stupid suicidal vampire,” she’d whispered into the dark room.

The next morning, after Xander and Andrew left with Dawn to check them all out of the hotel, Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike’s waist and buried her face against his neck. “You’re an idiot.”

His arms encircled her, one hand running a soothing path up and down her spine. “You read it, didn’t you?”

“You don’t need to play into his hand,” she said. “God, Spike, you walked right into it. Why? Do you think it’s some kind of penance or something that you have to do? Because-”

“Buffy.” He held her just far enough away that she could see the amusement in his eyes. “I like the story, pet. You’re right that Angel probably left it with the intention of hurting me, but I happen to like the book.”

“You like the book.”

“Yeah.” He kissed her forehead. “Maybe I’ll read it to you sometime. You seem like the type who prefers to hear a story rather than read it.”

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I just really like The Great Gatsby, okay?
> 
> Bonus points to anyone who knows what "game" Xander and Andrew are playing.


	9. Too Many Holes in the World

Buffy sighed as she took the colorful straw sticking out of the cup between two fingers and stirred her milkshake in a small circle. Demon diners weren’t exactly her idea of the perfect meetup, but it was the only place she thought they could discuss everything without getting strange looks. The five of them had gotten a booth in the back where she (and really, it  _ was _ only her talking as any attempt to pass the story off to Spike was rejected or ignored) launched into the story of how Fred had found herself with a giant rock that turned out to be the sarcophagus of a powerful demon named Illyria.

“Clearly the Justice League missed the memo about big rocks. They never have anything good inside.” Buffy said, shooting a glance at Spike who continued to stare down into his beer. Concern wriggled around in her stomach at his complete disinterest in the conversation. She was pretty sure this was his third or fourth glass and her hand was itching to snatch it away from him even as her mind screamed at her that that was a battle she didn’t want to fight.

“So Illyria. What is she?” Xander asked.

“She called herself a demon king,” Buffy said. “An Old One, like what the mayor was trying to ascend into. But I think she’s more like Glory.”

“How do you figure?” Dawn asked, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Of course she’d be uncomfortable with that comparison.  _ Wow, I’m out of it _ . Buffy shook her head as though it would help her get back on track. “I mean, is Illyria-”

“She doesn’t even know you exist,” Buffy said quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that, like Glory, Illyria is a god trying to find her way home and hurting a human to do it. Just in Illyria’s case, home is Earth except overrun with demons.”

Xander leaned closer. “Fred is dead?”

She nodded. “Wesley held her as she died. He’s pretty messed up. Angel, Spike, and I were off in England trying to save her. This guy Drogyn guarded the well where Illyria’s body had been kept. Very annoying guy. He has to answer every question truthfully and wow, was he rude about it. He told us her return was predestined. There was nothing we could do.”

“If there was nothing you could do-”

“There’s always something you can do,” Spike said, his only words since they’d sat down aside from ordering the beers. Clearly, the guilt was weighing on him as much as it was weighing on her, if not more. “We had a choice. We could let Fred die and release Illyria….or we could save Fred and kill tens of thousands of people. Angel started talking and I said….”

Buffy stared down into her drink. His words still echoed in her head.  _ This goes all the way through to the other side. So I figure, there's a bloke, somewhere around New Zealand, standing on a bridge like this one, looking back down at us. All the way down. There's a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known. _

“We agreed we couldn’t do that,” she said. “One person’s life isn’t worth the deaths of thousands.”

“But you can bring her back, right?” Dawn asked hopefully. “We can call Willow and-”

“There’s nothing to bring back,” Spike said softly. “Her soul was destroyed, according to a Wolfram and Hart doc Gunn talked to. ‘Burned up by the fires of resurrection’ were his exact words. Fred is gone.”

Dawn slumped back into the seat. “Oh. So I guess Illyria’s here to stay.”

“Looks like it. What was god girl’s first move?” Xander asked, stealing a fry from Andrew’s plate. Was it concerning that they could discuss the death of a young woman while eating? She wasn’t sure what was and wasn’t normal anymore.

“She fought us - me, Spike, Angel, and Wesley - and  _ won _ . Guys, she’s crazy strong. Angel and Spike came at her with swords and she caught them and threw them across the floor like it was nothing. The only thing stopping her from taking over with her army is that her soldiers are all dead. She’s stuck here now. She has nowhere else to go.” Buffy bit her lip, debating what the impact of her next statement would be, and ultimately decided to say, “She reminds me of Anya.”

“Anya? How do you figure?”

“A powerful demon stuck in a human body? Scared and alone in a new place with new rules and people who hate her? Sounds like Anya to me.”

“There’s another hole,” Spike said softly. 

Buffy finally pulled his beer away from him, tilting her head as she examined the vampire. His arms were folded on the table, fingers drumming a frantic beat that she suspected was a result of his want for a cigarette. His coat was balled up in the empty space between him and the wall and his hair was slightly disheveled, the curls beginning to escape from the gel he had slicked through it and revealing the brown roots underneath. Buffy suspected she wasn’t the only one who could see how badly he was hurting from Fred’s death. “The hole in the world,” she said gently. “I know. I saw it.”

Spike shook his head, raising one hand in a vague gesture that seemed to make sense to him but had no meaning to her. “She was there. Now she’s not.” He dropped his hand. “Where she was, there’s a hole.”

“Are you drunk?”

“He’s not,” Xander said quietly. “He said that before. That some people leave a hole when they die.”

“Everyone leaves a hole when they die,” Spike said. “William and Liam and a girl whose real name I never learned all left holes when they died, just like Joyce and Tara did. Those first three holes just happened to be filled by Spike and Angelus and Darla.”

Xander frowned. “But you said-”

“I said that the ones who take up the most space leave the biggest holes when they’re gone.” He slid his beer back to himself and took a long drink before he spoke again. “The ones who are so alive that death had to take them early. They lived it all too bloody quick and stuck us with the aftermath.”

The pieces clicked in Buffy's mind. “Cordelia,” she said. “You two were talking about Cordelia when I was asleep.”

Spike nodded. “Seven holes where there once were souls and one that goes down forever.”

“Buffy,” Dawn said suddenly. She was watching Spike with thinly veiled concern. He didn’t seem to notice her attention or if he did, he didn’t care. “We only checked out of one hotel room in case something like this happened. Go back to the apartment with him and-”

Buffy shook her head. “I can’t just leave you guys. We didn’t even tell you about Eve’s replacement. This guy Marcus Hamilton-”

“Buffy,” Xander said. “It’s okay. You two have had a long day. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you should go back to Spike’s place. I already put your suitcase in the trunk so you won’t need to continuously stop at the hotel in the morning. And, uh, maybe  _ you  _ should drive?”

She nodded, slid out of the booth, and waited for Spike to follow. He slipped his coat on and fell into step at her side, looking anywhere but her once they were out on the streets of Los Angeles and assaulted by the sounds of car engines and loud people. “We can’t leave now, can we?” she asked softly.

“No,” he said. Relief shot through her at a verbal response. “We can’t.”

She unlocked the car and slid behind the wheel, driving them back to the apartment in a silence she couldn’t find the words to break.

Once they entered the apartment and Buffy had shut the door behind them, she reached into her jacket pocket and held out a pack of cigarettes to Spike. “I bought them when I went out to get blood for you and Angel,” she said. He stared at them, expression carefully neutral. “When you were in his office waiting for Wesley to call. Sorry I waited this long but there wasn’t ever a good time to give them to you and-”

She was interrupted by a kiss, one she melted into when his hands materialized on her back and in her hair. He wasn’t being gentle this time, his caution replaced with passion, and Buffy eagerly responded in turn, a silent  _ yes, this is okay, don’t stop _ . He moved to her neck, trailing kisses down her throat and something in the back of her mind screamed at her for letting a vampire this close to her jugular. She shut the voice up quickly by reminding it that this was Spike and he wasn’t going to hurt her, not with the way his fingers trailed over her spine like she might shatter if he pressed too hard.

She realized after a moment that he was whispering something against her skin, his breath causing goosebumps to make a sudden appearance all over her body. “Spike?” She felt every one of his muscles tense as he held her tighter. “Spike, talk to me.”

His voice was low when he responded. “I just needed to know you were here.”

“Spike-”

He raised his face to hers, pressing their foreheads together. His eyes shone with tears and a distant part of her wondered if she’d ever seen him like this. If she would have even been alive to-

_ Oh _ .

“I’m here,” she whispered. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

He was silent for a moment, staring into her eyes as he held her. Finally, in the softest voice Buffy thought she’d ever heard him use, he said, “My mum had tuberculosis. They didn’t call it that at the time, of course, but we all knew consumption meant death. After Dru turned me, I thought I could save her. That this strength I was feeling could make her better.”

She carefully leashed her emotions as she realized what he was saying. It wouldn’t do either of them any good to scare him off when he was opening up like this. He rarely talked about when he was human and she cherished the little pieces she had learned, slowly piecing together the puzzle that was the man she loved. “You turned your mother.”

“I’ll never forget the things the demon said to me. What it did to make me kill her. She was just the beginning.” He chuckled bitterly. “I should have seen it coming. In one way or another I’ve lost every woman I’ve ever cared about. It started with my mum and continued for my entire unlife. Anya died. Joyce died. Drusilla threw me aside whenever Angelus was around and then again when I became a better man. Now Fred is gone and….” He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I’ve lost you so many times, pet. I don’t think I can handle another.”

“Shouldn’t that say something?” she asked, swallowing down the emotion threatening to strangle her. “All the times you lost me, I wasn’t yours to lose. And then when I was….it wasn’t me that suddenly wasn’t there.” She led him to the bed, gently pushing him down and curling up at his side just like she had every night since he’d gotten his body back. “We’re in the same boat, you know. I’ve lost every man I ever cared about. My dad abandoned me and Dawn after Mom died, Riley left, Giles left, Angel died and then had the gall to come back and leave me again, the asshole. You died. I think the only person who’s been with me since all this started is Xander, but even he turned his back on me during the whole Faith thing. So believe me, I understand your worry and I’m telling you, you aren’t going to lose me, Spike. Not again.”

“Buffy-”

She propped herself up on one arm to look at him. “Listen to me,” she said, fighting back tears when she saw his own threaten to fall. “Are you listening?”

“I’m listening.”

“You are  _ not  _ going to lose me. Okay?” She stared into his eyes, making sure her meaning came across loud and clear. He may have forgotten the last time she told him about going to England, but she hadn’t and she had no intentions of letting it slip his mind again. “We are going to go to Westbury, England once this Illyria stuff blows over. We’re going to stay with Giles in his giant Watcher mansion with the other Scoobies. I already know which room I want for us. You’ll love it. It’s big and has a giant king size bed. The curtains and comforter are red but the sheets are this black silk that looks like it’d be heaven to sleep on. It has a bay window with a million blankets and throw pillows and it overlooks this huge field that Giles goes riding through sometimes. You can see the night sky from that window, a million constellations I don’t know the names of but I’m sure you’ll teach me. There’s a TV that drops down from the ceiling across from the bed and a small fireplace underneath it. There’s an attached bathroom with a bathtub long enough for someone to fully stretch out in.

“We’re going to have normal lives. I’m going to go out into town with Willow and Xander and you’re going to teach Dawn how to cook. You’ll trash the kitchen, but Giles won’t care because this time Willow will clean it up with magic when she gets back.” She cupped his face with one hand, swiping a thumb over his cheek. “You’ll have some chocolate or cream from whatever you and Dawn were trying to bake right there and I’ll wipe it off and lick it off my finger. You’ll make some kind of innuendo and I’ll smack you on the arm but we’ll both know I don’t mean it.

“We’re going to completely take over the living room and you’ll teach me how to dance. Classic waltzes and everything, but also all those fancy tricks you learned with Drusilla. We’ll learn new ones and make up our own. Eventually you’ll convince me to try them on the ice and I’ll reluctantly agree. Xander will get me skates for Christmas and Dawn will be upset she didn’t get the ballet shoes she’s been asking for for years. You’ll say that you’ll give her a pair for her birthday and everyone’s going to treat it like a joke, but you’ll follow through and ask me to help you pick out the right size for her.

“We’re going to figure out that Giles’ age theory is true which will be a huge relief because Angel became human, not you. I’ll realize that we have a million lives stretching out before us. We’ll walk through the town and I’ll stop to admire a wedding dress in a store window. You’ll ask if I want to get married and I’ll tell you that marriage isn’t a big deal because we have forever-”

“I’ll get you a ring anyways.” She smiled at the sudden snatching of the torch, glad to see the expression reflected on his face. “Everyone will be surprised when you tell them I proposed. They’ll ask Willow if she cast another spell and we’ll have to reassure them that it’s real this time. The whole gang will be back together for once; the Justice League, Faith, Wood, maybe even some of the Potentials from the First. Giles will walk you down the aisle in some gorgeous gown Willow and Dawn helped you pick out. You’ll be shocked to see me in something other than jeans and boots. It won’t be what either of us expected when we fantasized about a wedding-”

“But it will be ours,” she finished. “So, see? I can’t go anywhere because we have shit to do. Things to learn and food to make and lives to live. You told me you aren’t going anywhere-”

“Because I’m not.”

“Then neither am I.” His arms came around her in a way that had become familiar since that first night she asked him to hold her. She relaxed into his embrace, looking up at him and murmuring, “Soon.”

“What was that, love?”

“You asked me once if we could rest,” she said, already half asleep. “Soon, Spike. We can rest soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah I apologize for this one! I didn’t realize until yesterday that I was leaving you with this chapter before the weekend. I promise next week’s three chapters are much lighter!


	10. When the Parents Aren't Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to consider this a commercial break before we return to regularly scheduled programming. For anyone who's been wondering what Dawn, Xander, and Andrew have been up to when Spike and Buffy aren't around, here's the answer!

Dawn was bored.

Buffy had been spending most of her days either at Wolfram and Hart or at Spike’s apartment and since the first was a place she didn’t want to be and the second a place she didn’t think she’d be welcome, she was currently spending her days in a hotel room with Xander and Andrew. One of the days the two were at the law firm dealing with Illyria, Dawn had spontaneously asked her two sitters how to make the best sundae, a question that led to a disagreement, which led to a bet, which led to Dawn standing in the freezer aisle of a grocery store mentally debating which brand of ice cream was better while Xander and Andrew continued their days long argument over what type of sprinkle, rainbow or chocolate, was superior. So really, this was all Buffy’s fault.

The three of them had set down some agreed upon ground rules. First, they all had to use vanilla ice cream as a base to keep things fair. Second, they were only allowed to use whatever bowls they could steal from Spike when they were at the apartment. Beyond that, anything and everything was fair game which meant that there were loopholes Dawn was planning to take advantage of.

Xander’s entry had been a modification of the classic. Three scoops of vanilla ice cream in a ceramic bowl, fudge from a jar that he left sitting on the windowsill to heat in the absence of a microwave, whipped cream, an exorbitant amount of chocolate sprinkles, and a handful of gummy bears on top for good measure. It was good and a classic for a reason, but Dawn was certain she could do better.

Andrew’s had been an explosion of color. Four scoops of the same vanilla ice cream in the same ceramic bowl, Hershey’s chocolate syrup, way more whipped cream than one person could ever eat in one sitting, rainbow sprinkles, gummy bears, M&Ms. It was another solid contender, but it had been just a bit too much for Dawn to handle. Much like the boy himself.

Now it was Dawn’s turn.

This wasn’t the first time she had tried to make the perfect sundae. She had spent hours debating with Spike during the summer Buffy was gone, to the point that the next day he’d appeared with a bag full of tubs of ice cream, sprinkles, syrups, and candies so they could find out, definitively, what made the best sundae. She was pretty sure Willow and Tara had gone off on the vampire when they got home about giving her so much sugar, but he never said anything to her and they didn’t stop their ongoing experiment, just moved it from her house to his crypt. In terms of ice cream brands, Dreyer’s had won easily, but she wasn’t trying to make a  _ good _ sundae. She was trying to make a  _ great _ one.

The boys weren’t paying attention to what she was doing, so she reached into the freezer and grabbed a container of vanilla gelato. They hadn’t said they all had to use the same kind of vanilla ice cream and since gelato was the Italian word for ice cream, it wasn’t cheating. Just creative thinking.  _ Score one for me! _ Dawn thought, continuing through the store.

She eyed the whipped cream, reminded herself that they still had a can in the hotel room’s mini fridge, and continued through the aisle. She was on a timer to make sure the gelato didn’t melt. As she passed by the butter she let out a dejected sigh. Spike’s salted caramel recipe was pretty much perfect but she didn’t have a way to make it in the hotel room. She’d just get a bottle of the fake stuff and a small grinder of sea salt and hope for the best. It wasn’t a perfect stand in, but it would do.

She threw a bag of chocolate chips in the basket resting in the crook of her arm and looked over the contents. Satisfied, she led the two boys towards the checkout. “Got everything, Dawnster?” Xander asked as she placed her purchases on the conveyor belt. He nodded to the gelato. “What’s that?”

“Gelato,” she said simply. “Ice cream. You never said we all had to use the same kind.”

“It was implied-”

“But not specified.” She shot him a winning smile. “Guess you should have made the rules more clear. That hundred bucks is  _ so  _ mine.”

“Uh, guys?” Andrew asked. “Does that look like trouble to you? ‘Cause it looks like trouble to me.”

Dawn followed Andrew’s gaze to the woman he was staring at. She stood outside the store talking to what appeared to be a bald demon with purple spots on its blue skin, her red hair bouncing around her face as she gesticulated wildly. The demon nodded and took something from the girl before the two split off in opposite directions, the girl heading for a car and the demon strolling into the night. “Yeah,” Dawn said. “That looks like trouble. Xander, pay and bring this stuff home. Andrew and I will check it out.”

“No way. Buffy will kill me if I let you wander Los Angeles alone.”

“Xander, the demon is leaving,” she hissed in a low voice. “If we want any shot at catching it, you have to let us go after it. I’m not a little girl anymore, I can handle a few demons.”

He sighed. “If Buffy asks, you ran off and I couldn’t stop you. Okay?”

Dawn mimed zipping her lips, grabbed Andrew’s hand, and ran out of the store in the direction the demon had headed. Looking around didn’t reveal the demon to her, but she did land on a manhole cover in an alleyway that seemed to be situated not quite correctly over the hole. “Bingo,” she said in a sing song, bending down to try and push it off. Andrew was by her side a moment later, helping her shove it away so they could enter the sewers. She gagged at the smell that rose to greet them but descended the ladder anyways, Andrew close on her heels. 

“So what’s the plan when we find the demon?” he asked.

“Figure out what it was doing with the girl,” Dawn said, hopping down and scrunching her nose as sewer water splashed onto her shoes. Gross. That would take a good cleaning to get out. She’d have to ask Xander what Buffy did to get the smell out of her….well, everything. “Slay it if we have to. Easy peasy.”

“Do you have any weapons on you? Stake? Sword? A sword with a stake at the end? No, wait, that’s just Buffy’s scythe. Ooh, maybe a laser gun?”

Dawn reached into her boot and pulled out a sheathed knife, twirling it in her hand. “Can we keep this between us?”

Andrew reached into his jacket and pulled out a stake. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

She grinned and led the way through the sewers, winding through the underground tunnels and trying to keep her footfalls as quiet as possible in the sewer water. Andrew’s steps were louder than hers and shot him a scathing look over her shoulder. He instantly became quieter.

“So,” Andrew whispered.  _ So much for being quiet, _ Dawn thought with an eye roll. “Do you think Buffy and Spike are okay? After Fred’s death? Spike seemed pretty devastated.”

“I think Buffy’s alright. It’s not like she knew Fred that well, anyways,” she whispered back. “Spike’s handling it pretty well. I think he’s a bit more vulnerable with Buffy, but he’s been put together when I’ve seen him. Not like the diner right after it happened, you know?”

“Yeah. It was so weird, seeing him like that. Like when-”

“Is this going to be another geek culture reference?”

“Maybe.” She could hear the sheepish smile in his voice. “You know, you should give some of that stuff a chance sometime. I think you’d really like Leia. You remind me of her, a little bit.”

Dawn shot him a quick glance. What had her life become? Most girls her age were thinking about college or dating or actually attending school rather than pretending to be homeschooled while they ran around the world. But not Dawn. No, she got to track demons through the sewers of Los Angeles with a knife in one hand and a dork behind her telling her to watch Star Wars because she reminded him of a main character. “Maybe,” she said vaguely. “Maybe when we go to England, we can have a Star Wars movie marathon.”

“You know that Leia is from Star Wars?”

She rolled her eyes again. “You only talk about it, like, all the time. I’ve picked a few things up.”

“I’ve wanted to blog about it for a while.”

“You have a blog?” Dawn did her best to keep laughter out of her voice. It didn’t surprise her, but at the same time she wasn’t sure what he could possibly be blogging about. Food? It was an option, but not one she thought he would take to. Video games? Also a good guess but she had a feeling that wasn’t the case either. The abs of his celebrity crushes? Now there was a likely possibility. She was certain Spike’s would be at the top of his list.  _ He’s a celebrity in the demon world, _ she could hear him arguing.

“Well, not yet. I haven’t had the time to set everything up. But I’ve been wanting to start one.”

“You should. I think you’d be good at it.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You have a way with words.”

He didn’t respond, a blessing as Dawn came to a halt and held out her arm for Andrew to stop. Following the noise led them to another corner and peering around it revealed a small cluster of the same blue skinned demons all crowded in a circle around the demon from the store as it read something aloud from a small piece of paper. “Should we break it up?” Dawn whispered. “It doesn’t look like anything’s happening.”

“What if they open a dimensional portal that sucks the entire city of L.A. into a dimension of nothing but shrimp?”

“Good point.” Dawn stepped forward, splashing her feet in the water to announce her presence. Andrew followed her lead, standing shoulder to shoulder with her. “Hey. Mind if we crash the party?”

The demons turned to them in unison, revealing red eyes set deep into their skulls. “Who are you?” the one closest to them asked.

“I’m Dawn,” she said with false cheer. “The vampire slayer’s sister. This is my friend Andrew. Demon hunting is kind of our whole deal.”

Uneasy glances were shared among the group. The one with the paper stepped forward, his black robes swishing behind him.  _ Why are demons always in some kind of costume? _ Dawn wondered.  _ Why are they never in, like, a tank top and shorts? Always robes and long dresses. Don’t they get hot? _ “Layla never mentioned having a sister.”

Dawn frowned. “Layla? Who’s Layla?”

“She’s probably an activated Potential,” Andrew said. “Isn’t that right?”

“How do you know about Slayers?”

“We kind of saved the world a few months ago. I mean, Buffy helped a little but-”

“Buffy?” the demon asked. “You’re Buffy Summers’ sister?”

She eyed him warily. “Maybe.”

“There must be some kind of confusion. We’re a peaceful people.” He held out a spotted hand to her. “I’m Azrashikka, but most just call me Az.”

Andrew gestured to the paper with his stake. The demon flinched away from it. They seemed more afraid of the knife dangling from Dawn’s hand, but they continued to keep a careful eye on them both. “What’s that?”

Az smiled awkwardly, dropping his outstretched hand. “You saw Layla give me this?”

“Answer the question,” Dawn said, pointing her knife at the demon. He recoiled back a step and she fought a triumphant smile.  _ See? _ she thought smugly _. I can intimidate demons. Even if they might be peaceful demons afraid of everything and anything, I intimidated them! It counts! _

“It’s a love letter.” Az held it out for them to take and Andrew took it from his hands, opening it. “From Layla to Benjamin.”

“How do we know it’s not something written in some kind of code?” Dawn demanded. “There’s no reason for anyone to be passing love letters through demons.”

“There is when one’s a Slayer and one’s a vampire,” Andrew said. Dawn glanced at him in surprise. “This isn’t in code, Dawn, this is a crossover episode between Buffy’s love life and Romeo and Juliet. Layla wants to meet up with Ben. It’s a love note.”

“Let me see that.” Dawn snatched the letter from Andrew. “‘Dear Ben, it’s been way too long since we last got to see each other. L.A. is so big and there’s so many people like you to dust. I wish there was some sort of handbook or someone to tell me what to do. You’re super helpful, but you’re still a vampire and even though I know you care, I’d love to meet another girl like me. I know you said there aren’t any but-’” She stopped reading and shook her head in disbelief. What was it with Slayers falling for vampires? She’d thought it was a Summers thing but maybe it was a Slayer thing? After all, she had Slayer blood in her. Kind of. “Layla is a Slayer, she’s in love with a vampire, and you help her deliver love letters to him?”

“We help both of them,” Az said. “They’re both in L.A. but on opposite sides of the city and, obviously, Benjamin doesn’t have a phone. We use the sewers to bring their messages to each other.”

“So how did they meet if-”

“Layla was in his neck of the woods by chance. He won but didn’t kill her and they started talking. Everything blossomed from there.”

“How did  _ you  _ meet her?” Andrew asked with far too much excitement.

“She was running from something through the sewers. We helped her escape and she came back to thank us.” 

Dawn sighed. “I guess we came out here for nothing, then. Awesome. Well, I hope everything works out for them. It’s totally possible for them to have a normal relationship.”

“Your sister is in love with a vampire,” Az said. “Angel. Messy business that must be, what with the cursed soul, then Wolfram and Hart, and now the Circle.”

“The Circle? I haven’t heard about that one.”

Az shuddered. “Nasty business. I don’t want to say too much. Can’t risk drawing their attention. Surely you understand?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I do. And Buffy actually isn’t dating Angel anymore. She’s with Spike.”

“A Slayer is dating William the Bloody?” The demon laughed. “Well, Layla certainly has hope after all. Thank you, Dawn and Andrew. We won’t cause you any trouble.”

“Sorry for threatening to kill you,” Dawn said.

“Totally understandable.” Az waved a hand in dismissal. “It was nice meeting you two.”

They waved as they turned on their heels to head back out of the sewers. Dawn bit her lip, mulling the idea over and over in her head. The longer she thought about it, the more sure she was that it was a good idea. “Andrew?” Dawn finally said. “You still have the videos from before the First, right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Why?”

“Well, you said you wanted to start a blog. I was just thinking that it could be helpful for the activated Potentials who haven’t met Buffy or don’t have a Watcher yet to have something like that. I mean, they’re practically training videos, right? You have recordings of strategy meetings, sparring matches with Spike, probably even some of Buffy’s speeches. It can show Slayers how much stronger they are with their friends and how it’s totally possible to have a normal life. For girls like Layla it could be a huge help.”

“I can be their Obi-Wan!” Andrew cried, pocketing his stake. Dawn followed suit, sheathing her knife and placing it in her boot. “Do you think Buffy will be mad if I do it?”

“Nah. I think if she wants to settle down and she hears about it as training videos, she’ll totally jump on board. Just, uh, maybe we should wait until  _ after _ you post them to tell her. So she can’t be like ‘no, don’t do it’ ‘cause it’s already done.”

Andrew nodded, a small smile on his face. They walked in companionable silence until they reached the ladder where he helped her lift the manhole cover and they popped out into the Los Angeles alleyway. Dawn took a deep breath, marveling at how all it took was a change of scenery for the air in L.A. to feel fresh. “Should we walk back to the hotel now?” he asked.

“Don’t be stupid. We’re  _ so  _ calling a cab.”

\------------------------------------------------------

One cab ride, one lecture, two showers, and an outfit change later, Dawn was putting the finishing touches on her ice cream sundae. “Sorry if it isn’t exactly right,” she said, grinding the sea salt into the bottle of caramel sauce on the table in front of the couch. “Spike’s recipe is amazing and this is no substitute, but I had to make do with what I had.”

“Spike has a salted caramel recipe?” Xander asked.

“Spike has a lot of recipes,” she said, glancing up at him where he sat in one of the many chairs in the room. How many people did the hotel think were staying in one suite? There were at least four chairs plus the couch in the living room and she knew for a fact that there were at least two in the bedroom as well. This hotel didn’t seem to understand what was and wasn’t a good idea to put in a room. “He’s the one who taught me how to cook the summer Buffy was gone. Sometimes he’d switch languages in the middle of our conversations or his instructions to help me practice. You can thank him for my basic comprehension in French.”

“Spike can speak  _ French _ ?”

“Well I wanted him to help me with Italian but he doesn’t know any.” She made quick work of her remaining steps, placing the white ceramic bowl in the center of the table with a flourish. “Three scoops of vanilla gelato, salted caramel swirled on top of each, whipped cream on each and in the crevices between scoops, more salted caramel on top of the whipped cream, and a handful of chocolate chips sprinkled on. I’ll be taking that hundred bucks any time. Cash is preferred.” 

The door to the hotel opened and revealed Buffy and Spike. “Hey!”

“Hey Buffy.” Dawn stood, greeting them at the door.

“We were just stopping by to see what you were up to,” she said, eyeing Xander and Andrew as they dug into the ice cream. “But now I feel like we’re interrupting something.”

“Nothing huge,” Dawn said. “Just a friendly competition that I totally crushed.”

Buffy laughed, passing by her and dropping down onto the couch. “What have you been up to all day?”

_ Andrew and I followed a demon into the sewers only to find out that him and his friends are harmless and trying to help out a couple that’s shockingly like you and Spike. Oh, and I convinced Andrew to potentially expose our lives to the world to help other Slayers and we just have to hope that any non-Slayer would think it was fake. _

“Nothing much,” she said with a smile. “Just some ice cream.”

“Some really good ice cream,” Xander said, offering a spoon. “Buffy, you have to try this.”

Dawn felt Spike come up behind her, his voice a low rumble in her ear. “You smell like sewage.”

“Are you serious?” She whirled to face him, keeping her voice low. “I washed, like, three times in the shower  _ and _ changed my clothes. I thought I did everything right.”

“Buffy probably won’t notice,” he assured her. “But I did. Care to tell me what you were doing in the sewers of Los Angeles?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “I told you. I was making the perfect sundae.”

He rolled his eyes but didn’t press, pushing past her and sitting next to Buffy on the couch. Dawn leaned against the wall and watched as Andrew opened his camera up, Xander started talking about why the bet wasn’t legit because it was said as a joke, and Buffy fed a spoonful of ice cream to Spike. This was her family. Her sister, her brother, her put together uncle, and her weird cousin. All she was missing was her exasperated father and fun aunt.

Dawn sat down next to Buffy, swiping whipped cream off the spoon and grinning at the indignant squawk that came from her sister. The boys’ laughter made Buffy’s playful nose tweak worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure: I have no idea if Dreyer’s is any good. Google told me it was popular on the West Coast so I just kind of went with it. Sorry any to any Washington, Oregon, or Cali peeps I inadvertently offended, but what can I say? I’m an East Coast girl. B&J all the way!


	11. Holly and Mistletoe

“Angel’s foresight really is twenty-twenty, isn’t it?” Buffy said snidely as Spike buttoned up the front of a shirt Angel had oh so kindly called to inform him was hidden in the back of the closet. “At least it suits you. The black is….” Her remark died on her tongue as she took a step forward, rubbing the fabric of the sleeve between her fingers. “Holy shit. Is this silk?”

“Feels like it.” He ran a feather light touch over her shoulder, ghosting over the thin strap of her dress.

“It looks good.”

“Doesn’t compare to you, though.”

She smiled and ran a hand down her dress, smoothing the fabric. It looked absolutely gorgeous on her, the white material slightly shimmery from thin silver threads woven throughout. Her skirt swished with her movements, glimmering with every footstep. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. “You like?” He couldn’t stop staring at her. Noticing this, her smile only grew brighter. “That right there? That’s what I was nearly an hour late prepping for on Halloween. Good to know my hard work pays off.”

“You don’t need to work that hard, love. You’d be beautiful in a sodding burlap sack.” A blush crept up her neck at his words as he trailed a hand down her side to rest at her hip. “I’m sure if I’d been in my right mind on Halloween I would have said something about it.” He cocked his head, remembering something suddenly. “No. Wait. I  _ did _ say something about it. I started to. You stopped me.”

“Because Xander was right there and I didn’t trust what you were going to say. But I’m getting the reaction I wanted now.” She jabbed a finger into his chest. “You can’t hide it from me mister. I can see every thought going through your head in your eyes.”

“Is that right?”

“Oh yeah. You’re an open book when you aren’t lying through your teeth.” She twined her arms around his neck and he realized as she drew closer that she was wearing lip gloss. He could faintly smell it and nearly laughed. Of course she’d put on peppermint lip gloss. ‘Tis the season. “Like right now? You’re thinking about kissing me.”

“How do you figure that?”

She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t take a genius. You’re staring at my lips.”

“Was noticing your lip gloss is all.”

“You can smell it, huh?”

“Just a little.” He pulled her closer. “Mind if I have a taste?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Now at least twenty minutes late from the ensuing kissing, hair and makeup fixing, and the actual drive to the apartment building, Spike and Buffy stood arm in arm outside the door. She had just raised her hand to knock when the door to Wesley’s apartment swung open, sending the sound of Christmas music and happy chatter flooding out of the room and into the hall. 

Having spent the past month listening exclusively to these songs with Buffy and Dawn, he was fairly sure the one playing currently was one of the Slayer’s favorites. The longer he listened, the more certain he was that she had pulled him away from the kitchen and asked him to teach her how to dance to this song. In the glow of the small rainbow lights she had hung on his wall, he had led her in a simple waltz around the room that ended with her sitting in his lap and telling him about how her mom would always put on Nat King Cole’s Christmas album while the three - she’d stumbled over the word but stood by her statement - of them decorated the house.

Andrew stood on the other side of the door, camera in hand and recording. “Captain's log, star date 81593.44-”

“Andrew,” Buffy interrupted, holding up a hand. “I’d love to chat, really, but I need to find Wesley. Can we do this later?”

“Why? What’s up?”

“Do you really want all your footage of us to be in the hall?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” He turned on his heel, leaving a stunned Spike and Buffy behind. “Where were we?” he asked, sitting between Gunn and Lorne on a stool in front of the kitchen counter. “Oh, right. I think it’s a complete injustice that they took out the Scouring of the Shire from the last movie.”

“And  _ what  _ happens in the Scouring of the Shire?” Gunn asked.

Andrew shifted on the stool and cleared his throat. “Well. Our hobbit heroes have just destroyed the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom and have returned to their peaceful home in the Shire….”

“Why couldn’t it have been that easy during the First?” Buffy said, shaking her head and looking around what she could see of the apartment. 

“You probably won’t be able to find Wesley out here, love,” he said softly. 

“Right. You’re right. I’ll just….Go do that.”

She had barely stepped through the door when Dawn pounced on her sister. “Thank God you’re here.” Spike leaned against the wall and looked her up and down in amusement, noting her black blouse and shiny green skirt, the red and white apron over her outfit, the mix of spices on her hands, and the wooden spoon she was waving around wildly as she spoke. Clearly, she had been here for a while and had somehow convinced Wesley to let her help him. “I’m having an emergency. I’m making eggnog and I think it tastes fine but I want a second opinion. I would have preferred Spike - did you know he really likes eggnog? - but since he isn’t….Wait. Where is he? He did come with you didn’t he?” She planted her hands on her hips. “He did  _ not _ make us go to Mass just to ditch us for the actually fun part.”

“Right here, sweet bit,” he said, raising a hand and casually saluting her. “And don’t kid yourself. We both know if I hadn’t done it, Buffy would have.”

Buffy shrugged. “Probably.” Dawn shot her a betrayed look. “Dawn, we deal with vampires and demons and we  _ know _ that things like heaven and hell exist. It can’t hurt to get a blessing or two every once in a while.”

Spike chuckled, but decided to spare the two of them any more teasing. “Where’s Oxford?”

“He’s in the bathroom I think,” Dawn said. “He should be back in, like, a minute.” She turned back to her older sister. “While we wait, do you want me to reintroduce you to everyone? I’m pretty sure I have all the names down.”

Buffy shook her head. “I’m good. Aside from the fact that I’ve spent more time with these people than you have, I’m a pro at the name game after the month long Slayer slumber party.”

Dawn laughed, turning and glancing behind her. She looked back at Buffy, rolled her eyes, and flounced off. Spike opened his mouth to call out to her and snapped it shut when he saw why she left. Buffy let out a soft sigh as Angel approached her. “Hi Angel. Merry Christmas.”

He cocked his head with a small smile. “So, it was that bad, huh?”

She frowned and Spike found himself mimicking her expression. Angel was behaving much more like himself than he had since they’d arrived in Los Angeles. Was it really the physical building poisoning him or was this just a show to try and win back their support? He wished he could just ask his grandsire what he was doing, but he wasn’t kidding himself thinking he’d get any kind of legitimate answer. “What are you talking about?”

“Your gift.” When she only stared at him blankly, he continued. “From Spike? It must have been pretty bad if you didn’t even bring him with you. Was it dolls? I always hated those things. Gave me the creeps.”

“Dolls? Sounds like a Dru thing.” Buffy waved to someone Spike couldn’t see and a moment later, Wesley appeared. “Wesley! Merry Christmas.”

Her ex-Watcher embraced her warmly. “Buffy. Merry Christmas to you, as well. You look lovely.” His smile slipped as he glanced around her. “Where’s Spike?”

“His invitation got lost in the mail.”

“Ah. Yes. Come in, Spike. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think that you would need….I apologize for my oversight.”

He stepped over the threshold and looked around in surprise. The apartment was decorated with far more decorations than he would have thought the man would own. Aside from the wreath on the outside of the door, there was a garland wrapped around a small mantle and golden lights hanging from the walls. A decent sized tree adorned with the same golden lights and silver ornaments was placed in front of the window looking down on the city. A set and festive table was prevented from being pressed against the wall by the chairs lining one side. The kitchen had a short counter with three stools on the living room side that separated the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. The living room itself consisted of a couch facing away from the kitchen but towards a television set, two arm chairs on either side and a coffee table piled with books in the center. One whole wall was nothing but stuffed bookshelves. One closed door led to what Spike assumed was the ex-Watcher’s bedroom and another slightly open one showed a small bathroom.

Two of the stools were taken by Lorne and Gunn, now alone as Andrew had finished up his story and was sitting in one of the armchairs recording everything. They sipped wine and chatted with Wesley and Dawn while the latter pair bustled around the small kitchen. Angel had returned to Harmony and another blonde woman Spike thought he recognized as Nina in the center of the room, the werewolf smiling broadly when the older vampire twirled her. Illyria and Xander were sitting on the couch and watching one of the many animated Christmas movies showing that night. Despite the nice clothing everyone else was wearing, it seemed Illyria couldn’t be convinced out of her maroon leather full body armor or into doing something with her hair, long and brown with streaks of blue shot through it in the same shade as the color dusting her skin.

“It’s alright, Windsor. Don’t blame you any,” Spike said, closing the door behind him. “And I appreciate the invite. Didn’t fancy standing out there the whole night.”

“I wouldn’t have left you out there the  _ whole  _ night,” Buffy said with a playful shove. 

“Mistletoe,” Dawn cried suddenly. Spike glanced over to her and cocked a brow. She smiled, pointing up with the spoon she was holding. He looked up and chuckled. Sure enough, hanging from the ceiling was a sprig of mistletoe. Based on the expression on Dawn’s face, he guessed she had put it up there as soon as she arrived. He wasn’t sure when she had forgiven him and given the two of them her blessing, but he would never stop being thankful for it. Especially if this was how she was going to show her approval. “You know the rules.”

“The rules?” Illyria asked without looking away from the screen. “There are rules regarding plants on this holiday?”

“Just this one,” Buffy said. “If you get caught with someone underneath mistletoe you’re supposed to….” She trailed off, planting a soft kiss on Spike’s lips. Sometime during the car ride she had fixed her lip gloss and when she pulled away from him, the taste of peppermint lingered.

“You have to kiss if you stand under the plant?” Illyria had looked to them at a lack of verbal response and cocked her head, wide blue eyes examining them. “Your traditions are strange.”

“Maybe. But it’s what we do.”

“Spike! Buffy!” Dawn placed a mug on the counter, a straw poking out of the top. “Tell me what you think.”

Buffy took a sip, eyes widening as she looked to her sister and handed the cup to Spike. He ignored the straw in favor of just sipping the drink. It was rich and thick and he found himself wondering the question Buffy was currently asking. “Oh my God. How did you do that?”

“It’s good?”

“Bloody hell, Nibblet,” he said, giving her back her mug. “Add nutmeg and some rum-” He faltered at the look Buffy shot him. “I’m not saying she should drink, Slayer. I’m just saying that-”

“Quit while you’re ahead,” Dawn advised, turning back into the kitchen. “Lorne, you were telling me about my aura.”

“Right,” he said, taking another small sip of wine. “It’s green. A gorgeous shade, almost emerald. You’ve got a good soul and lots of magic in your little body. Almost like it’s holding you together.”

“Perhaps that’s because it is,” Wesley muttered, placing a pan in the oven.

“What are you thinking?” Buffy asked, turning away from her sister and ex-Watcher. “Feel like explaining Rudolph to an ex-God?”

He scoffed. “I’ll leave that to Harris. He seems to be enjoying himself.”

“The reindeer is unloved yet he helps them in the end,” Illyria was saying. “He concedes.”

“The whole movie is about forgiving, Illyria. It’s about teaching little kids to be nice to everyone.”

“A ridiculous message. Conquerors do not win by being nice.”

“What would a nine year old be trying to conquer? The monkey bars?”

“Blondie Bear,” Harmony said in a sing song as though she’d just noticed Spike’s entrance. Which, knowing Harmony, she probably had. “Come dance with me.”

“I’d rather not, Harm,” he said, turning and leaning against the counter to watch Nina dance with Angel. “Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you and I aren’t exactly a thing anymore. If we ever were,” he added under his breath. Buffy chuckled and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Come on, Blondie Bear,” Angel teased with a smirk. “Dance with her.”

“I think I’d much rather dance with Goldilocks,” Spike said, turning to Buffy in a silent question. He could tell she wanted to dance despite clearly not being a big fan of the song, though Dawn was certainly enjoying it if her slightly off-key singing from behind them was any indication.

“This one isn’t really my style,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Too….poppy. I never was a fan of Mariah. And assuming you haven’t lied to me, it’s not your thing either.”

“Wouldn’t lie to you about something like that, pet,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist. He noticed with surprise and relief that Angel didn’t seem to react at all to the movement, preoccupied with the girl he was dancing with. “It’s not worth it.”

“I don’t know. You’ve got an image and liking hymns might-”

He spun her around and kissed her. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll watch that tongue,” he said, voice low.

“That’s too bad. I’ve never been very good at knowing what’s good for me.”

“That right?” 

“I’m with you, aren’t I? The big bad of Sunnydale. Not that you’re all that big and bad now, being in love with a Slayer and all. Oh, how the mighty fall.”

Their words were rough, but they were both smiling when she kissed him. The song ended with a high note that, at least on Dawn’s end, was really more of a shriek, and a new one came on, sending a smile lighting up Buffy’s face as she dragged Spike into the center of the room. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him as he held her. Her eyes fluttered shut and a content smile graced her lips as she sang under her breath, swaying softly to the music. He’d thought that night in Sunnydale had been the best night of his life, but this moment was giving that memory a run for its money. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her this relaxed when she wasn’t asleep.

“I can tell you’re staring at me,” she whispered.

“What else am I supposed to look at?”

“You’re thinking.”

“I’m always thinking. There’s always some part of me that’s got you on its mind.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“You. Didn’t I say that?” She laughed through her nose. “You look….” he trailed off, searching for the right word. “Happy,” he finally settled on. “You look happy.”

“I have friends and family to spend Christmas with, I’m at an actual adult Christmas dinner that I don’t have to cook for, and to top it all of, the man I love is alive and corporeal and holding me. He also apparently really likes Christmas despite being a demon.”

He chuckled. “Can’t help the way I was brought up, pet. Guess that was just one of many things that stuck with me when I was turned.”

“My point is,” she said, opening her eyes to meet his. “I have all of these things. Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

There wasn’t any mistletoe overhead when he kissed her, much to the excitement of Dawn if her soft squeal of joy as she passed by them was anything to go by. “Okay lovebirds,” she said. “Dinner’s on the table. Angel, Wesley’s getting blood for you.”

“What about Spike?” the other vampire asked.

“What  _ about _ Spike?” Dawn narrowed her eyes at Angel. “There’s ham, turkey, potatoes, gravy….Spike, stop me when I get to something that’s going to be a problem for you.”

“I’ll be fine, Nibblet,” he assured her. “I’ll get some blood in me when we get back to the apartment.”

“So I don’t see what was wrong with me saying Wesley was getting  _ Angel _ some blood.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and sat next to her sister at the table, leaving the chair next to her empty for Spike. Once everyone was seated they all set to work piling their plates with food. Spike took an offered mug of eggnog from Dawn, shooting her a surprised look at the whiff of rum he caught from it. She only winked and continued adding to her mountain of mashed potatoes. Buffy wasted no time in reaching over and snatching some of the whipped cream sprinkled with nutmeg off the top. She sucked it off her finger with a knowing glint in her eye and he leaned closer, letting out a low but playful vampiric growl. “God, get a room,” Harmony scoffed, rolling her eyes. Buffy only laughed.

“I don’t understand this holiday,” Illyria announced once everyone had finished getting their food. All eyes turned to her. “I’m told it’s the celebration of the birth of a descendant of a god.”

“That’s correct,” Wesley said. 

“But you can’t forget about Santa,” Gunn chimed in. “That’s probably the most important part to kids. I know it was for me when I was younger.”

“That’s the man with many aliases who breaks into homes and leaves gifts for children, yes?”

“Yeah,” Lorne said, shifting nervously. “But you’ve also got all the fun stuff. The food and lights and kindness people show. The auras are always so much nicer in December.”

“The songs about snow and movies about talking reindeer are important as well? Why?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Does it really matter? As long as no one is turned into a vampire shish kabob again, who cares?”

Illyria cocked her head with inhuman speed. “Again?”

“At the end of the day, Illyria,” Wesley interrupted. “Christmas is about family. What parts of the holiday that family decides to incorporate into their celebration is their own.”

“Family,” she repeated. “We are not a family. We are outcasts who have found shelter in the understanding of others like us. That is not a family.”

Angel shrugged. “Maybe not a conventional one, but we’re a family in our own regard. The Scoobies and the Angel Investigations crew-”

“Justice League,” Xander said in a fake cough. 

“Are like each other’s cousins that we only see at family events,” he continued as though he hadn’t heard. “Within the two groups are their own tight knit families, but together we’re like an extended family.”

“I see.”

“Anyone feel like praying?” Angel asked, earning a laugh that quickly turned to a cough from Spike. No one responded and he clapped his hands together. “Alright. Let’s eat.”

\-------------------------------------

Buffy stumbled on the way down the stairs to Spike’s apartment, deciding it was probably for the best that he had driven them despite the alcohol she knew he’d had to drink. She hadn’t realized how exhausted sitting around a table could make her, but between the dancing and the laughing and the many kisses that came as a result of Dawn, and later Lorne, sneaking around with mistletoe and dangling it over their heads, Buffy was totally drained. When Spike lifted her up she didn’t bother to tease him, just held on tight as he carried her the rest of the way up the stairs and gently deposited her on the bed. She sat up and slipped off her heels, throwing them in the general vicinity of the couch. She’d get them in the morning.

Cool fingers brushed against her throat and she felt something solid settle just below her collar bone. She fingered the object, raising it enough into her view for her to be able to identify it as a pendant. The silver was stylistically warped and a small ruby was set in the middle of the design but there was no mistaking it for anything other than a cross. “Merry Christmas, love,” Spike murmured in her ear.

She turned around to face him, finding him already backing off the bed to get undressed. She hadn’t expected anything from him and, she realized with growing sadness, he wasn’t expecting anything from her. Why someone like him stuck around so long with someone who so blatantly didn’t care about him, Buffy would never understand. 

She slipped off the bed and dropped to her knees, suddenly very awake as she fished under the bed for where she had stashed her present for him. “Buffy? What are you looking for, pet?”

“Just because Dru didn’t ever get you anything,” she said, popping up with the book in hand and coming around the bed. “Doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to.”

Spike simply stared at her, hands frozen at the third button of his shirt. “You got me a present?” he asked, tone carefully flat.

“Yeah,” she said cheerfully, holding it out to him. “That’s what you do on Christmas, remember?”

He didn’t reach for it immediately, eyeing both it and her warily before slowly taking it from her. He ran a hand over the wooden cover absent any title and opened it, flipping through the pages with a feather light touch. “Aesop,” he murmured. His face was a careful mask of neutrality. “I haven’t read these since-” He looked up at her sharply when he saw the year inside the front cover. “1818? I wasn’t even  _ alive _ in 1818, Buffy. Where did you-”

“I have my ways,” she said with a shrug. “You like it?”

“Do I….” He laughed in awe. “I think this might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“High praise from someone who’s one hundred and fifty. Which, by the way, one way or another I’m  _ going _ to figure out when your birthday is.” She went to move closer to him, but he beat her to it and pointed up with a knowing smirk. She didn’t need to look up to know there was mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. “Merry Christmas, Spike,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and letting everything else fall away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have all of the things to thank Anya_Mae for in this chapter: for finding three different old editions of Aesop’s Fables when I couldn’t decide what Buffy should get Spike, for being a massive Trekkie and suggesting Andrew record his own personal captain’s log, for spending a good ten minutes trying to figure out what December 24th would have been as a stardate, and for entertaining my numerous questions about what types of Christmas music each of the Scoobies would listen to (Spike is a hymns man and you can fight us). I don’t know what I would do without you!


	12. Glitter On the Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be my favorite chapter in the whole story. It’s basically pure fluff and I had so much fun writing and editing it. Hopefully you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!
> 
> Also, the title (and chapter inspiration) comes from ‘New Year’s Day’ by Taylor Swift.

Xander, Andrew, and Dawn stood with Buffy behind the window and watched Spike spar with Illyria. Wolfram and Hart’s training room, a small white octagonal room with a few weapons mounted on the walls and a few mats stacked and pushed against said walls, had nothing on her old one at the Magic Box. “Why is he sparring with her?” Dawn asked, stepping aside so Andrew could get a good shot of Spike and Illyria. “I thought that was all for testing her powers. If she doesn’t have them anymore, what's the point?”

“The point is they’re both idiots who enjoy kicking each other’s asses,” Buffy said. She’d tried to convince him to stop fighting the demon god who wanted them all dead but he insisted that Illyria wouldn’t kill him after Wesley made Spike’s worth known to her. Even still, Buffy usually went with him to his daily sparring sessions. To keep him safe, obviously. It had nothing to do with the way he looked while he fought, especially on days like today when he’d taken his coat off and she could see the evidence of his life of fighting. She hated days like today. Obviously.

“Now that she can’t do her slow down time trick,” she continued, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Spike’s landed a lot more hits on her. I don’t think she likes it. Being a big bad and being bested by a vampire you consider below you? That’s gotta sting a little.”

There was a thud as Illyria landed on her back, Spike’s boot on her sternum and a sword aimed at her heart. He held that pose for only a moment before throwing the sword aside and removing his foot, sauntering out of the training room with a cocky air about him. He headed straight for the gang, wrapping an arm around Buffy’s waist and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. She could taste the barest trace of cigarettes on his lips, but she wasn’t sure when he would have had the chance to smoke since they’d been at the law firm all day and Angel always managed to find him whenever he lit up. She made a mental note to ask him where his secret ‘hide from Angel’ alcove was. She could use a place like that.

Illyria appeared behind him, pausing when she saw them all. “The humans have returned,” she said with disdain, looking at Xander and Andrew. “And the demon girl. What are you doing here?”

“Illyria,” Buffy said with fake cheerfulness, attempting to hide the chill that shot down her spine whenever Illyria called her ‘demon girl’. Spike held her tighter, seeming to sense her unease. She’d never stop being grateful he could read her so easily. She was sure the vampire senses helped, but there was something very  _ Spike _ in the way he knew her. She doubted any other vampire would understand how much the moniker bothered her. “Always nice to chat with a fellow demon woman.”

“I am a God-King,” she said sharply. “Not some common demon. You should be bowing before me, trembling at my power.”

Xander snorted. “I’ve heard that one before.”

Illyria’s gaze fell on Dawn. “You. I felt you at Wesley’s apartment. I thought it had been an artifact he’d stolen from this place. It never occurred to me that the source of such power could be human. You are something ancient. Older than humans, but younger than me. What are you?”

“Most people just call me Dawn.”

“She was energy before she made a wish for the blue fairy to make her a real girl,” Spike said. Dawn giggled and Buffy slapped his chest playfully but Illyria only stared at him blankly. “I’ve gotta go, pet,” he said, turning to Buffy and kissing her again. “Captain Forehead wanted me to report for decorating duty once I was done here.”

“I’ll see you later?”

“Can’t wait.” He winked as he disappeared through the doors leading back to Wolfram and Hart’s lobby.

Illyria watched Spike leave, her gaze remaining on the doors long after they shut and stilled behind him. Buffy wondered what she was thinking about them all. If she still looked down at them or if she had accepted that this was her life now and she’d have to work alongside them all.  _ Only time will tell _ .

Xander turned to Andrew, clapping his hands. “Okay. Ready to help Harmony check on catering?”

Dawn raised an eyebrow. “You got roped into this, too?”

“Lorne doesn’t trust Harmony to not ruin everything,” Xander said. “He asked us to supervise her. What did you two get stuck with?”

“Nothing,” Buffy said. “Angel hasn’t asked us to do anything.”

“We’re going to go watch Spike try not to bite the other people decorating the lobby,” Dawn said cheerfully. “I have ten bucks saying he quits after half an hour.”

“I have twenty on an hour and a half.”

“You are speaking of a gathering,” Illyria said, turning to look at them. Her unnatural blue eyes stayed steady on Buffy. The Slayer lifted her chin in a silent challenge. “Wesley failed to mention it to me. What’s the occasion?”

“New Year’s.”

“New Year’s?”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “It’s a thing we humans like to do to keep track of time. We drink a bunch of alcohol, sing some songs, make promises we won’t keep, and count while a shiny ball drops down a pole. Fun times all around.”

“Am I expected to attend this event?”

“Probably,” Buffy said. “I know I am even though Spike and I told them this was a bad idea. Parties and Scoobies are two non-mixy things.”

“You are speaking English,” Illyria said. “But I don’t understand your meaning.”

“Just stick around a little longer, Mystique,” Xander said. He moved to throw his arm around her shoulder and caught himself, letting it drop limply to his side “You’ll pick it up in no time.”

\------------------------------------------

Spike watched Buffy from the doorway to Angel’s office. He gave up on the decorating committee after half an hour, pretended he didn’t see Buffy hand Dawn a bill, and followed her when she vanished into the CEO’s office to take a phone call. She paced in front of the windows, the blinds pulled up for the first time Spike could remember and making him dodge the light of the setting sun out of habit until he remembered the windows here were specially made. Her silhouette turned black as she passed in front of the glass, one hand gesturing animatedly as she spoke. If he strained enough he could probably hear who she was speaking to, but he didn’t bother. She’d tell him if she wanted to.

She stopped pacing and snapped the phone closed. “You can come in.”

“Don’t need an invite to an office, love.” He pushed off the door jamb he had been leaning against to fully enter Angel’s office, coming to a stop next to Buffy as she stared out the windows. Now at her side, he could see the way the sun was glinting off her hair and adding a golden glow to her features. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Like you said. Vampires can sense Slayers and Slayers can sense vampires.”

“I could have been Angel.”

“No. I can always tell when it’s you. I don’t know how. I just know.” She shook her head with a small laugh. “This is weird.”

“What is?”

“This. You and me, having actual conversations. We didn’t do that before.” She looked over at him. “I like it. I like knowing you. I like knowing I can be vulnerable around you and that you can be vulnerable around me. We can be vulnerable together. Does vulnerable sound like a word anymore?”

He smiled and moved so he was behind her, her back flush against his chest and his arms around her waist. “All this sappy talk make you uncomfortable, Slayer?”

“No. It’s just different.” She breathed a content sigh. “I was talking to Willow, just now. We haven’t talked since I told her about Cordelia and I wanted to check in on her and Giles.”

“You told them about me, right?”

“Of course,” she scoffed. “I told them the day after these guys found out. Giles didn’t seem too happy about it but Willow was thrilled.”

“Knew there was a reason I liked Red,” he said. “What did your Watcher have to say about me?”

She shrugged. “Nothing special. He wanted to know if you were like Angel was when he came back, all wild and feral. I told him you were still you, soul and all, and he told me to be careful.” She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “He’s very worried about my safety.”

“He should be. Look at how easy it would be for me to….” He trailed off, pressing a soft kiss right where he’d fantasized about biting her years ago. “You should be careful, Red Riding Hood. There are wolves about.”

“This Red Riding Hood has a stake in her basket,” Buffy said. “So I guess the wolves had better watch out.”’

“That's my girl.”

She laughed through her nose and tilted her head back, resting it on his shoulder and looking up at him. “Remember the last time you said that?”

“I do. I’m hoping the outcome will be different this time as I happen to know you fancy me.”

“Maybe a little.” Her smile slipped away, replaced with a frown and furrowed brow. “Do you feel that?”

“Feel what?”

“Like someone’s watching us.” She turned in his arms, pulling him into an embrace and resting her chin on his shoulder. “It’s Illyria,” she murmured in his ear. “She’s just watching us.”

“She’s harmless,” he said. “Don’t worry about her, pet. She’s not your problem.”

“People keep saying she looks like Fred,” Buffy said. “But I just don’t see it.”

Spike nodded. He knew exactly what she meant. There were moments when the fear and confusion would bubble up in such a way that Illyria showed a glimpse of humanity and then it became hard to ignore who’s body she was inhabiting. But she didn’t move like Fred, or talk like her, or smell like her. It was the reason he had been tasked with testing her. He was the only one willing to strike the demon walking around in Fred’s skin. “Me either.”

“Spike? Buffy?” Angel called from the lobby. “I could use your help lifting something.”

She stepped out of Spike’s arms and he was immediately hit with the lack of heat once she was gone. Buffy rolled her eyes and took his hand, leading him out of the office. “Duty calls.”

\-------------------------------------------

The party was a disaster. 

It had ended with half an hour until midnight when two drunk party goers ended up going a bit too hard near a magical artifact and accidentally opened a portal unleashing several large demons. The Scoobies and the Justice League took them out quickly, but the lobby was completely trashed by the time they were done. Buffy had sent Dawn back to the hotel with Xander and Andrew, promising she’d text when she got to Spike’s apartment so they’d know she got home safe. She shouldn’t have felt any obligation towards Angel but seeing as she’d helped make the mess, she felt like she should have to stay to clean it up.

She and Spike had claimed the roof despite Angel’s protests about how she was in no shape to be cleaning up paper plates and beer bottles. She knew she looked as tired as she felt but she didn’t particularly care as she kicked off her shoes and placed them on the punch table next to a small stack of unused napkins, immediately feeling steadier. One heel had snapped clean off in the fight and her constant bobbing up and down made her feel like a walking roller coaster. She pulled the bobby pins from her head and placed them with her shoes, hoping to relax some of the tension in her skull by releasing her hair from the elaborate prison she had constructed for it and letting it fall in loose tangles around her shoulders.

Spike didn’t look much better. He hadn’t worn anything too fancy for the party, just a simple currently unbuttoned button up shirt that looked almost identical to the silk shirt from Christmas and a pair of jeans without any blood or demon guts on them, but somehow he still managed to look worse for wear. A silver bracelet slid up and down his wrist and he winced when he moved it certain ways, often enough for her to worry he had sprained it, and she could see bruises beginning to blossom on his torso. He was putting up a good show of being fine, but she suspected it was only because he could sense how tired she was and didn’t want to worry her anymore than she already was.

“So that went well,” Buffy said without looking at him. The December wind cooled her face as she picked up garbage from the roof and placed it in the trash bag in her other hand. She scrunched her nose as she threw away another plastic champagne flute. “They should have listened to us. We told them this could only end badly.”

“So said Cassandra,” Spike muttered. “And Troy fell, for no one believed her.”

Buffy smiled at the ground, throwing a clump of napkins in the bag. He was definitely tired. He only got like this, all learned and intelligent, when he was exhausted and let slip the softer part of him that didn't fit with his rough edges, something she was learning the more nights she fell asleep to his soothing voice telling her a different story about different people. So far, she’d heard the beginnings of  _ The Princess Bride _ ,  _ The Secret Garden _ ,  _ Gone With The Wind _ , and what she suspected was  _ Romeo and Juliet _ but he had refused to confirm or deny it, claiming he had never cared much for Shakespeare. The smile on his face as he said that made it hard for her to believe him. “You know, sometimes I forget that you know a lot about books and stuff. The leather and bleached hair doesn’t give off that vibe.”

She heard the clanking of the trash bag being put down. She dropped her own bag, turning to face him. His head was cocked to one side and his lips twitched into a smile. “Do you hear that?”

She listened, but couldn’t hear anything. “No.”

“They’re playing music downstairs. Whitney Houston, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”. Someone is singing but they sound like shit. I bet it’s Angel. Never was quite as good as me.” 

She laughed as he stepped towards her, letting out a deep breath of content when he pulled her against him. Acting purely on impulse she said, “Tell me a poem.” She closed her eyes and laughed. “That wasn’t right, was it?”

“It’s okay. It’s late.”

“It’s almost midnight.”

“It’s almost midnight.”

“So tell me a poem,” she said. “To close out the year.”

“Do you know “She Walks in Beauty”?” 

“I heard the name in school but I don’t think I ever read it.”

“It’s a good one. Classic Lord Byron. Always makes me think of you.”

“Then let me hear it.”

He only took a moment before he spoke, his voice a low rumble in her ear that reverberated through his chest and into her body:

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o’er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

A countdown started somewhere down the street, a chant picked up by the city and echoed by the buildings themselves. She looked up into the eyes of the man she loved and smiled. “I like that.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

When the countdown hit one she brought his lips to hers and for a moment, with fireworks bursting in the background and the taste of champagne on her lips, it felt like the city’s cheers were the universe’s way of telling her she would finally get everything she wanted.

\----------------------------------

Illyria had climbed the steps to the roof with the intent of avoiding the ones who wanted her to be normal, a pretty way to say they wanted her to be less than she was. She had grown bored of their mindless chatter while they cleaned up, loudly singing songs that had meaning to them but none to her. The roof was the only place she could find a reprieve. She supposed she should thank Wesley for showing it to her after she admitted she felt claustrophobic and trapped in the law firm, but she couldn’t find it in herself to bother. He was a speck of dust in the vast stretch of the universe. What did his feelings matter to her?

She stopped on the last step, surprised to find the door already open. She hadn’t realized the party had continued up here, but it was quiet and she assumed everyone had left. She stepped out just in time to see Spike pull Buffy against his chest. She cocked her head, unable to hear their conversation but able to see their faces and feel their emotions. It was a curse sometimes, her ability to feel the emotions of those around her. She wanted nothing to do with their petty mortal feelings. But she could tell she was witnessing something different between these two. 

Spike’s eyes were closed even though his lips moved and Buffy was pressed against him, her smile only growing brighter as she listened to him. People began to cheer a countdown and she watched as the two kissed just as a chorus of “happy new year” erupted throughout the city. Illyria was hit with the full force of their affection for each other, so potent she nearly collapsed. This was strong, different from anything she’d felt since she took over this shell. This emotion went beyond the two people feeling it, becoming something larger than them. She had thought only the Old Ones could create such power.

They pulled apart and whispered something to each other. Whatever he said made her smile and step away to pick up a trash bag. He moved quickly and she let out a yelp that turned into a laugh as he swept her up in his arms and spun around. His back was to Illyria, but now they were close enough for her to hear what they were saying. “Best watch your step up here, pet,” he said. “Lots of broken glass. Wouldn’t want you stepping on any of it.”

Buffy groaned. “My shoes are killing me, Spike, I’m  _ not  _ putting them back on. Just put me down and I’ll be careful.”

He scoffed. “Right. Buffy and careful. I can’t think of a more perfect pairing of words.”

“I can be careful,” she said indignantly.

“That’s why you almost stepped on that bottle there?”

“Well I won’t now that I know it’s there.”

“How about this?” He sat her on the punch table beside her shoes and handed her a trash bag. “You hold the bag and I’ll pick up the mess. Okay?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But only because your stubbornness is as legendary as mine and I know that if I fight you, nothing will get done.”

“Whatever you say, love.”

Watching the two of them stirred up a strange feeling in Illyria’s chest. She hadn’t realized mortals and half-breeds could be so intimate with each other. She knew the two truly cared for each other, she could feel their affection burying itself in her chest, and she wondered if the ones downstairs felt the same way these two did. If they smiled and laughed and loved in a similar way. She decided they must because there was nothing special about the half-breed or the girl. What would mark their relationship as different from, say, Wesley’s relationship with the shell she was inhabiting?

Spike dropped an armful of beer bottles in the bag and she playfully flicked his nose, causing him to grab her hand and kiss the tip of her finger.

Illyria was beginning to get the impression she shouldn’t be witnessing what was transpiring on the roof and the emotions, both hers and theirs, were becoming too overwhelming for her to stand anymore. She turned away and retreated down the stairs, the image of the half- breed holding the girl remaining in her mind for hours.


	13. Unexpected Allies

Buffy watched from the comfort of Spike’s arms as Andrew and Xander once again claimed the vampire’s couch and television to continue their video game. Dawn sat on the floor with her legs stretched out and watched the two boys, occasionally providing advice or pointing out things they missed when she wasn’t generally cheering them on. Buffy wasn’t fully paying attention, however, due to Spike softly murmuring in her ear. 

He had cocked a brow in question when she asked him to tell her a story and she hurried to explain which only caused the words to come out in a tumble. She was pretty sure she had told him that she liked that he was smart and that she liked it when he talked because his voice relaxed her, but she wasn’t completely sure because everything had come spewing out so quickly. Whatever she had said, he’d chuckled and let her curl up against him, the two of them laying in silence for only a moment before she reminded him about the ongoing story he’d been telling her and he launched into the next part.

“So,” he was saying, slowly running his hand up and down her arm in long strokes. “He kills Duncan anyways despite that bloody dagger and his general reticence to kill someone in cold blood and he goes to his wife a sodding mess. She takes charge of the situation like she’s been doing the entire time and frames the servants - who are asleep, mind you, and don’t know what just happened - like they had planned. They put the daggers on-”

“I’m confused,” Buffy interrupted. “Who’s side are you on?”

“Oh, hers. Absolutely.”

“The co-conspirator in the murder of a king? You’re on _her_ side?”

“Well, yeah. She’s right.”

She raised an eyebrow. “She’s _right_?”

“If you understood the politics of the time, pet, you’d probably agree with me.”

She huffed a sigh. “Fine. Continue.” 

“They put the daggers on the two servants and go about their business until the next morning when the Thane of Cawdor is brought to Duncan’s body. He puts on quite the bloody show, pretends to be distraught about the death of his friend and all that rot, then kills the guards before they can try and plead their innocence.”

“What? How does he get away with that?”

“Claims he was so distraught, he acted in a fit of rage.”

“And they believe that?”

“They do.”

“Why don’t you ever tell me happy stories?”

He looked down at her in a mix of confusion and indignant outrage. “I do. I save them for when you’re trying to sleep, you just never stay awake long enough to hear how they end. Figure you’d rather drift off listening to me tell you about Rosalind and Orlando over Atticus Finch.”

“You’re assuming I know who those people are.”

He groaned, his loose hold on her tightening playfully. “You’re killing me, love. Did they teach you _anything_ in that school?”

She laughed. “I’m only kidding. Kind of. I know who Atticus Finch is, I read that one. Don’t know the other two, though.”

“A damn shame. It’s a good story.”

“You know it’s funny,” she said, looking up at him. “I’ve known the other ones you’ve told me at least by name, but I don’t think I know this one. What did you say it was called?”

“None of your business.”

She stared at him, eyes narrowing. “Why won’t you tell me what it is? Am I going to be upset?”

“Doubtful.”

“Then tell me. I have to guess it’s the main character’s name since you haven’t said it yet. You’ve just called him the Thane of Cawdor and his wife is just the Thane of Cawdor’s wife.” She frowned. “Thane of Cawdor. That sounds familiar.”

He laughed. “Can’t say I’m surprised. It’s a well known story. You probably were supposed to read it in school.”

“It’s….It’s….” She let out a huff of frustration. “Dammit Spike. Just tell me.”

He kissed her softly. “It’s _Macbeth_.”

She feigned a scandalized gasp. “ _Macbeth_ ? As in _Shakespeare_ ?” she asked in mock surprise. “I can’t believe this. William the Bloody is a supporter of the theater. Next you’ll tell me you were only pretending to like _Passions_.”

Spike laughed again and she could see the quip prepped on his tongue but, just as he went to say it, her phone rang. She reached over, flipped it open, and said, “Hello?”

“Buffy?”

“Hey Giles.” She changed how she was laying, rolling onto her back and looking up at Spike as he propped himself up on one arm and peered down at her. “What’s up?”

“Willow and I have found something quite concerning in our research of Wolfram and Hart. It would seem that there’s a long active demon group currently working out of Los Angeles.”

“Okay. No biggie. I’ll grab Spike and we can-”

“Buffy, this isn’t some vampire nest you can go rush in and destroy,” he said sharply. “This is an ancient society that works closely with the senior partners to create apocalypses. They’re very dangerous and more than you and Spike can handle alone.”

“This group have a name?”

“The Circle of the Black Thorn. Their sigil looks something like….well, actually it rather looks like Jesus’ crown of thorns. How fitting.” Buffy heard a woman, presumably Willow, say something in the background. “Or a sun with a hole in the center, yes. I suppose it does.”

She nodded. “Okay. So if you don’t want me going after the Circle, what _do_ you want me to do?”

“Primarily I want you to watch Wolfram and Hart, but I have to admit, I think your time would be well spent speaking with Angel and making sure the Circle doesn’t attempt to corrupt him.”

“And when I do this and figure out that everything’s connected? What then?”

She heard the soft, breathy laugh she had learned to associate with Giles. “I suspect this won’t be a simple reconnaissance mission for long. I’ve requested some help be sent your way. They should be arriving soon.”

“Potentials?” 

“Ah, no. No, I’ve not sent someone so….inexperienced. I assure you, they should be more than enough assistance. Keep us updated, alright?”

“I will. Bye Giles.”

“Take care, Buffy.”

“Did you say the Circle?” Dawn asked once Buffy had snapped the phone closed. She flicked her gaze up to her sister, narrowing it. “I-I don’t know anything, obviously. The name just sounded….familiar.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your trip to the sewers, would it?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe?”

“What trip to the sewers?” Buffy demanded, suddenly shot through with panic. “Dawn, what is he talking about?”

“Remember that time you came to the hotel and we were eating ice cream?”

“Yes.”

“It’s possible Andrew and I had spent the hour before chasing a demon through the sewers,” she admitted, smiling nervously. “He was totally peaceful. No fighting here. It’s actually kind of a funny story….for another time, obviously. Uh, but the demon, Az, he mentioned something about Angel being involved with a group called the Circle and that it was bad news.”

Buffy sighed. “Great. That’s just like Angel. Get into trouble and make me save him. Asshole.”

“Who do you think Rupert is sending our way if it’s not any of the Potentials?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know.” Buffy shook her head. She had assumed that if Giles was sending her help, it would be Willow, or Kennedy, or Rona. Hell, even Vi. Eliminating any Potentials as a possibility left her with who? Oz? Riley? God, he wouldn’t send Riley would he? That could only end badly if he showed up with-

Someone knocked on the door. “Reckon that’s your help, pet.” Spike gracefully stood and opened it, laughing at whoever he saw on the other side. He rested his shoulder against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest. “‘Course Rupert sent you two. Who better to help Buffy and Spike than the bitch and the bastard who tried to stake the bloody vamp?”

“Nice to see you too,” a familiar woman’s voice said, ducking underneath Spike and quirking an eyebrow at Buffy where she continued to lay on the bed. “With an audience right there? I didn’t know you were into that, B.”

“Faith!” She shot up, hesitating for only a moment before hugging the other Slayer. “And Robin! I’m assuming you’re my help?”

“That’s us,” Wood confirmed, embracing Buffy.

“You guys remember Xander, Andrew, and Dawn,” Buffy said, gesturing to the three on the couch. Xander and Andrew glanced over, offering a nod and a half-hearted wave. Dawn managed a wave and a smile before she immediately became engrossed in the game once again, speaking rapidly with Xander. “And Spike, of course.”

“Of course,” he said. His brow furrowed and he turned as Spike closed the door. “I think we’re missing a few pieces to all of this. Last I heard, you were a ghost.”

“I was a not-ghost, actually,” he said. He sat on the edge of the bed and tugged Buffy down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist. She held back an eye roll at his clear attempt to make their relationship known to Faith and Wood. _Stupid protective vampire,_ she thought with no venom. His hold was loose, announcing to her that he was only doing it for show and not actually trying to keep her in place. “But that was fixed about a month ago. Why? Looking to go again, mate?”

“Play nice,” Buffy chided, leaning back against him. “We’re working together, remember?”

“You might need to get a leash for him, Buffy,” Robin said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “It’s not smart to leave wild animals unattended.”

She felt the low growl in Spike’s chest reverberate against her back and heard the snap of blunt teeth as he bit at empty air. Turning around revealed a grin where she expected a sneer and he chuckled at the surprised look on her face. “I think we’ll be alright, love. That’s all behind us. Isn’t it?”

Wood nodded. “Exactly. We’re past it.”

“Good,” she said, relaxing. “Good. So, where are you staying?”

Faith jerked a thumb at the couch. “The same hotel those three are staying at. Giles set everything up for us.”

“Of course he did.”

“So,” Robin said, clapping his hands together. “Not that this isn’t fun, but I’d love to finally get to meet this Angel I’ve heard so much about.”

Spike laughed again. “Oh, this ought to be good. Word to the wise: if you didn’t like me, you’ll like him even less.”

“You’re two very different people,” Buffy said. 

“Exactly,” he agreed. “I’m a better fighter, I’m smarter, I’ve got the better accent, I’m more attractive, I’m less arrogant, and, at the end of it all, I got the girl. Think it stings knowing there’s someone so much better than him out there.”

She twisted in his lap, looking at him in amusement. “What did I _just_ say about playing nice?”

“Can’t help myself when it comes to good old Peaches.” He buried his face in her neck, pressing a kiss against her skin. “You wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“No.” She brought his face back up to hers and kissed him. “I wouldn’t.”

\---------------------------------------------------

Walking through an abandoned amusement park in the middle of the night looking for a murderous demon Angel had specifically told Gunn not to send anyone after wasn’t high on Buffy’s list of ways she wanted to spend her time, and yet that was where she found herself thanks to the infighting brewing in Wolfram and Hart. She really didn’t want to go back tomorrow, but she’d have to. Angel hadn’t even looked at Faith and Robin, too caught up in his conversation with Charles to notice the returned Scoobies before he stormed off without saying a word to Buffy or Spike.

To take the fun one step further, she hadn’t even been paired off with Spike for this hunting mission. At least she hadn’t been stuck with Illyria. She didn’t feel like being called ‘demon girl’ the whole night.

“It’s just so strange,” Buffy said as she and Faith wandered the empty dirt paths, the cool night wind sweeping her hair away from her eyes. “We didn’t even know this society existed and suddenly bam! We’re supposed to stop them like that.”

“I thought Giles said he just wanted us to scope it out? See what the deal was.”

“And then what? We leave them alone to keep trying to end the world? I don’t think so and neither does he.” She groaned. “It’s all moving so fast. I got here in September and things were so crazy with Eve trying to kill Angel and Spike being a ghost and Angel being….well, Angel.”

“How’s Angel been with everything anyways?”

Buffy took a moment to think, her own words to him echoing back in her mind. _You’re becoming more like Angelus every day_. “Hard to say,” she finally landed on. “I’ve been avoiding Wolfram and Hart as best I can. That place gives me the wiggins.”

Faith twirled her stake idly in one hand. “You haven’t talked to Angel at all? I’m sure he’s loving that. His girl shows up and only wants to spend time with her new boy toy.”

“Spike isn’t a toy and I’m not Angel’s girl,” Buffy said sharply. “Angel is part of the reason I’ve been avoiding Wolfram and Hart. He’s not acting like himself at all. Apparently hasn’t been for a while, actually. Spike said that since he popped out of the amulet Angel’s been nothing but aggressive to everyone.”

“You think it’s Wolfram and Hart itself. That the bad from the people running it is leaking into the people working there.”

“When Spike was trapped there he said some things that weren’t like him,” Buffy said. “Like the place was getting to him or something. Making him think things that….”

“What did he say?”

 _I forgot I’d done it, just one more atrocity in a long line of them, but I did it_. “Apparently he got into some trouble involving Drusilla, an orphanage, and Wesley’s father. He was feeling guilty about what had happened and the way he was talking….it was hard to tell if it was the place or his soul making him feel that way. I think-”

“You saw him right after he got his soul. Was it anything like that?”

“Nothing at all, thankfully. I don’t think I could handle seeing him like that again.”

Buffy watched from the corner of her eye as Faith turned her head and stared intently at her. “You really care about him, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“That’s the kind of answer I would give, B. Don’t deflect.”

She blew out a breath, smiling up at the stars somewhat visible further away from the light pollution. “Yeah. I care about him a lot. I care about him so much it scares me sometimes.” She glanced over at Faith. “Once we got off the bus and into the hotel after blowing up Sunnydale, I collapsed on my bed and sobbed. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I couldn’t. I kept repeating his last words to me over and over again and tried to figure out why he thought I didn’t love him, what I had done in the last year to make him think I’d lie. We’d gotten so close those last few days, I couldn’t figure out what had happened. It just made me feel even worse because every morning I’d wake up and think ‘Spike should be next to me’ or ‘Spike should be here’ or ‘Spike died thinking I don’t love him’. It was torture.

“I’d almost given up by the time he called. It had been nearly four months and I had exhausted every possible….I tried to get Willow to bring him back but she wouldn’t do it. She said because he was a vampire it made things harder than normal and that everything could blow up in our faces. At that point I had to start really mourning that he was gone.”

“You were over him when he called you?”

Buffy laughed mirthlessly. “No. I tried to convince myself I was, but I was just lying to myself. We were going to all these different cities picking up and dropping off Slayers. All they wanted to do was go out with the European boys to clubs or restaurants or bridges because for some reason Europe has a lot of bridges. I couldn’t make myself go out with them even though they always asked. I didn’t want to risk finding someone new. I didn’t _want_ to move on. Some part of me was hoping….some part of me _knew_ he wasn’t gone.

“The one time I agreed to go out with them, I had a total meltdown when I got back to the house. We were in London and I heard this man arguing with someone….he sounded so much like him. I turned around and he didn’t look anything like Spike but that voice….We went back to Giles’ house and I broke down all over again. I’d thought I was getting better but, like I said, part of me didn’t want to ‘cause I was hoping he’d gotten out somehow. Turned out, he was at Wolfram and Hart the whole time.”

Faith’s expression was unreadable. “And when he called?”

“I thought he was Angel messing with me,” she admitted. “God, I was so mad at Angel. I _am_ so mad at him. He had no right to tell his friends not to….” She sighed. “I was so beyond happy and relieved to hear his voice. You can’t even imagine. He wasn’t corporeal but it didn’t matter to me. As long as he was there, I didn’t care.”

“Sounds like you love him.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I love him.”

“I’m trying to find that,” Faith said casually. “Love. I think I might have it with Robin. I can’t remember the last time I cared about someone the way I care about him, you know? He makes me laugh and he holds me without expecting anything more. He cooks me dinner when I’m majorly thrashed from a fight and can barely move. He puts up with my temper. Oh, and after a good slay? Man, does he know how to treat a girl right.”

Buffy laughed. “Okay, TMI. I definitely don’t need to know about my old employer’s sex life.”

“It’s not your old employer’s sex life. It’s mine. Your friend, remember?”

“Yeah. But it’s also his.”

“Fine, fine, whatever. I’m sure yours is _much_ more interesting.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“Are you kidding? You’re with a vampire, one that’s over one hundred years old. You expect me to believe he’s not any good?”

“That’s for me to know and you to never find out,” she said with a playful wink. She really didn’t want to have to explain to Faith why they had decided to rebuild slowly rather than dive in headfirst.

Faith stopped walking and cocked her head. “You hear that?”

Something crashed and the two girls took off running, skidding to a halt behind Spike and Illyria as they loomed over a vaguely familiar man sagging against the decrepit roller coaster. “I thought we were looking for a demon,” Buffy said, approaching the pair. “He doesn’t look like a demon.”

“Neither do I,” Spike said quietly. “The demon’s dead. Illyria and I found it and took care of it. Was just about to call when we found an old friend.”

“Old friend?” 

“Buffy, you remember Drogyn?”

“Right. The one who wouldn’t answer your questions because of his whole ‘I have to tell the truth’ thing.” She tilted her head, inspecting him. “A bit far from home, isn’t he?”

“You know this man?” Illyria questioned. “Who is he?”

“Keeper of the Deeper Well,” Spike answered. “Where you were buried. He’s the one who told us we couldn’t save Fred.”

“The man who kept me prisoner. My jailer. Must we leave him alive?”

Drogyn blinked up at them. “Illyria? Are you-”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Spike interrupted him. “And don’t try to sell me your bloody ‘I cannot tell a lie’ rubbish. Just answer the sodding question.”

“I came to find you,” he said.

Buffy and Faith inched closer as Spike’s brow furrowed. “You came to find me in a city with millions of people? You must be one bloody good bloodhound.”

“Maybe he can do some kind of magic mumbo jumbo,” Faith suggested, crossing her arms over her chest. “Something to find people who visit the well. Buffy caught us up,” she added at the suspicious look Spike shot her.

“Precisely,” Drogyn said breathlessly. Buffy realized suddenly just how bloody the man was, how his hair was hanging in lank, dark locks, how his face was covered in sweat. He was barely clinging to the threads of life. He collapsed and she darted forward in tandem with Spike, each of them catching an arm and lowering him to the ground. “I came to warn you.”

“Warn us?” Buffy demanded, crouching with Spike to look into the man’s eyes. “Warn us about what? What did this to you?”

“Angel,” Drogyn breathed, coughing roughly. “It was Angel.”

Buffy felt her blood run cold as her eyes widened in horror. “ _Angel_ did this to you? I don’t understand, why would he-”

“Not him, exactly. He sent Sathari after me.”

Spike cursed and stood. “Demon assassins,” he said at the confused look Faith shot his way. “Determined buggers. Fights with them are to the death. How’d you get away?”

“I bested them. Tortured one of them for hours until I received an explanation. He said Angel was afraid of what I could find in the Deeper Well. Something about his involvement in helping Illyria escape.”

“The vampire aided me?” she asked, cocking her head. “Strange. He doesn’t seem to enjoy my presence very much and I believe he liked Fred’s company. Why would he want me to kill one of his allies?”

“The assassin told me Angel needed a sacrifice. Someone dear to him.”

“For what?” Buffy demanded to no one in particular. “What could possibly be so important he’d kill his friend and let a god try to destroy the world?”

“The only one who knows that is Angel,” Faith said. Buffy got to her feet, shooting a glance at Spike and seeing her thoughts echoed on his face. She could only hope they were wrong. “We need to talk to the others, get everyone on board. Spike, you didn’t happen to drive here, did you?”

“I did.”

“Think you can give Buffy, Drogyn, and I a lift?” He nodded and she bent down, taking one of the injured man’s arms and wrapping it around her shoulder. “Illyria? Little help?”

“You wish for me to touch my jailer?”

“I wish for you to help me bring an ally to the car. Capiche?” 

After a moment’s hesitation, Illyria took Drogyn’s arm and mimicked Faith’s stance. Once the two were nearly to the car, Spike turned to Buffy. “That was-” She cut him off, throwing herself at him and kissing him deeply. “What was that for?”

“I was talking with Faith about you. It reminded me of how much life really really sucked when I thought you were dead. It reminded me how much I love you. I don’t say it nearly enough for how strongly I feel it so I’m saying it now. I love you.”

“I love you too, pet.”

“Whatever happens with the Circle,” she said, holding his face in her hands and making him look her in the eye. “We’re both getting out of this. Okay? Promise me we’ll both get out of this alive.”

“I can’t do that, Buffy. You know that.”

Her voice was very small when she said, “Then lie to me.”

He offered her a sad smile before he kissed her again. “Promise, love. We’re both going to make it out of this alive.”


	14. Confrontation

Faith was arguably a worse driver than Buffy.

She’d insisted on driving them to Wolfram and Hart, pleading for the chance to take the Viper for a spin. After making Dawn promise to stay at the apartment with Xander and Andrew, Spike had simply tossed Faith the keys and slid into the backseat with Buffy, letting out a laugh when they tore out of the parking garage far faster than any sane person would dare to drive in Los Angeles. They got to Wolfram and Hart at least ten minutes earlier than they should have, exiting the elevator as a united group.

Faith snapped the gum she was chewing as she and Robin took in the lobby. No one paid them any mind except for Illyria, standing on the landing of the stairs and moving steadily closer to them. The other Slayer nodded to the demon as she approached. “Hey Beauregarde. What’s up?”

She ignored the question, looking at Robin. “You are unfamiliar. Human, but not. You feel like….” Illyria looked at Buffy. “Her. Weaker, but present. Are you a descendant of her line?”

“My mother was a Slayer,” Robin said, fighting a smile. “Are you part of Angel’s inner circle?

She seemed about to say something cruel, probably about humans being beneath her, then thought better of it. “My status within the group is unclear,” she finally said. Illyria’s attention hovered on him for a moment before it turned to Faith. “I did not hear your name when you were at the amusement park. I wish to know what to call you.” 

“Name’s Faith.”

Robin looked between the two women. “You two know each other?”

“Kind of. She was with Spike when I went with B to deal with that demon at the park,” Faith said with a shrug. “We’re not exactly pals, but we had an interesting conversation on the ride back to Spike’s apartment.”

“I’m Robin,” he introduced himself. “Who are you?”

“I am Illyria, God-King of the Primordium.”

He looked to Buffy. “In English?”

“She’s a demon,” Buffy said. “An Old One, like what Wilkins became when he ate the principal before you. She nearly blew up like a bomb because she was so powerful.”

“Was?” Illyria demanded. “I  _ am _ powerful.”

“Right,” Spike said dryly. “That’s why I can hand your ass to you when we spar. Because you’re so powerful.”

She looked to Spike, seeming to search his eyes for something. “I’ve bested you on more than one occasion.”

“You got lucky. Should try going up against the queen of lucky. I’m sure Buffy could take you.”

“She is stronger than you?”

Spike snorted, smiling as he shook his head. “She’s miles ahead of me in strength. The only reason I walk away from our dances in one piece is because I’m faster.”

“I could probably give you a good fight,” Buffy agreed. “I’ve taken out enough baddies at your level that I have to believe I could take you down.”

“Who?”

Buffy stared at her for a moment, caught off guard at the curiosity in the demon’s voice. What had happened to the superior Illyria who threatened to squash them all like bugs and called Angel and Spike the muck at her feet? “Uh, well I killed the Master and Angelus. And I fought Glorificus, Olvikan, and the First Evil. I didn’t kill those three myself, but I did a lot of heavy lifting. Planning, luring, fighting. Things like that.”

Illyria cocked her head. “I know these names. Olvikan was vicious and difficult to kill. Many tried and always failed. Until they didn’t. How did you manage it?”

“Blew him up,” she said. “You knew the people I killed?”

“Some of them, yes. The First Evil was unpleasant. It believed that because it was older than us, it was superior. It was a fool. I only interacted with it once and I did not wish to again.”

“Did you know Glory?”

“Who?”

“That Which Cannot Be Named,” Spike said. Illyria looked away to one side, eyes wide as she remembered something. “The Beast. The Abomination. Glorificus. Any of this ringing a bell?”

“Yes,” she said. “I knew Glorificus. An insolent girl. Arrogant and proud. I did not care for her.”

“You’re not the only one,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “Have you seen Angel around?”

“What business do you have with the vampire?”

“We need to talk to him,” Faith said. “Do you know where he’s brooding today?”

“The half-breed is in a meeting,” she said. “He has been locked in his office with Marcus Hamilton for the last three hours.”

“Well when he gets out, could you let me-”

The doors to Angel’s office interrupted her as they opened and a tall man with styled brown hair in a tailored suit stepped out, flashing them a smile of perfectly straight teeth. “Buffy. Spike. A pleasure to run into you again. Who are your friends?”

Illyria turned so her back was to the group and she was facing Hamilton, an oddly aggressive and protective gesture. “Leave.”

“Now, Illyria, is that any way to-”

“Leave now before I rip your intestines from your stomach and wrap them around your throat,” she said sharply. He chuckled, but acquiesced, entering the elevator and disappearing from sight as the doors closed. Buffy could only stare at Illyria in shock. “I don’t like him.”

“You and me both,” Spike muttered. “Don’t know how Angel doesn’t see it. Something about his new liaison is wrong.”

“He’s unnatural,” Illyria agreed. “Neither human nor demon. He feels manufactured, if a person can be such a thing.”

“A manufactured person?” Buffy asked, memories flashing through her mind of Ted falling down the stairs, of April on the swing, of Warren tumbling out of the bus and her own body and voice frantically telling her that Spike was in danger.

“Not a robot,” Spike said quickly at her alarmed look. “He’s got a scent, pet, it’s just….off.”

She shook her head. She didn’t have time to deal with Hamilton. Her concern was the vampire sitting in the currently empty office. “Whatever. He’s  _ so  _ not on my radar right now. Angel is free. Let’s go.”

“Would you like me to accompany you?” Illyria asked, then seemed to realize what she’d said, staring at the ground with wide eyes.

“Thanks,” Buffy said with a small smile. “But I think we’ve got it.”

Illyria nodded, turning and stalking off faster than necessary. She was making an effort, that much was clear, and, Buffy had to admit, it was kind of amusing when she got caught in the act of caring. She had thought Illyria was unable to be rattled, but the flustered and confused look she got when she slipped up was almost endearing. It reminded Buffy of Anya.

The Slayer led the trio into Angel’s office, coming to a stop in front of the large desk. He looked up at their approach, eyeing them with suspicion when Robin shut the door behind them. Placing his pen down, he leaned back in his chair. “Tell us about the Circle.”

“Faith,” Angel greeted, ignoring Buffy’s demand entirely. “Good to see you again. Kill any humans lately?”

“Can’t say I have,” she said with a casual shrug. “Guess the novelty has worn off. Prison will do that to a person, you know? Makes you reluctant to go back once you’ve found something better in the real world.”

“So, you’re a reformed murderer. Glad to see you’re keeping better company. Hopefully you won’t end up in a coma like last time.”

“Hasn’t happened yet. I’d say my odds are pretty good.”

Angel nodded to the door where Wood was standing. “Who’s your friend back there?”

“Robin Wood,” he said, crossing his arms. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to put a face to the name.”

“Wood. Sounds familiar. Wood, Wood, Wood….” He snapped his fingers and turned his attention to Spike. “Hey, wasn’t that one of the Slayers you killed? Nikki Wood?”

“My mother.”

“You’re working with your mother’s killer?”

Robin smiled. “We’ve had our differences, but it’s over now. I tried to kill him, he tried to kill me. All we needed to do was destroy a city to realize how ridiculous the feud was. Who would have thought?”

“If you’re done exchanging pleasantries,” Spike said. “We’d appreciate it if you answered the sodding question so we can all go home.”

Angel shook his head, clicking his tongue. Buffy swallowed, doing her best to keep her emotions in check. She’d suspected Angel would attack them in typical Angelus fashion and had pleaded with the three of them to keep their cool as best they could. She knew Faith and Robin would be fine since, as bad as Faith had been, Angel didn’t have much on those two.

Now came the tricky part.

“Spike, Spike, Spike,” Angel chided, rising from his chair and pacing behind his desk. “Always so impulsive, so  _ quick _ . Your world spins so much faster than everyone else’s. Maybe that's why Dru always liked me better. She needed someone who knew how to take things slow. And Buffy….well, you always did like chasing my leftovers. Except for that one girl. What was her name?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Harmony?”

Angel shook his head. “No, not Harmony. She was before that. Hell, she was before Dru. That human girl, the one you said made you leave the party. Help me out, Spike. What was her name? Cecilia?”

A muscle ticked in Spike’s jaw and Buffy had to fight with herself to stop from leaping across the desk and dusting Angel then and there. She was sure he was trying to get Spike to confess the story in front of her, embarrass him  _ again _ by making him relive that moment. Unfortunately for Angel, Buffy asked for a range of stories from Spike. One of the first had been the truth about how he became a vampire, not the edited version she’d gotten at the Bronze.

She wasn’t sure who she’d been more upset with when he finished; Drusilla, Halfrek, or herself.  _ It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. You’re beneath me.  _ She hadn’t realized the extent of her cruelty towards him, unintentional though it sometimes was, until he told her about the night he was turned. She’d spent the rest of the night kissing him until she was sure he knew he was loved.

“Cecily,” he said now. “At least, that was what she told me. Found out later she wasn’t who I thought she was.” Surprise flickered over Angel’s face and Spike grinned, placing his hands in his coat pockets and stepping closer to the older vamp. “Ooh, didn’t know that, did you? Cecily wasn’t human, you ponce, she was a bloody vengeance demon and I got caught in the crossfire of her latest target.”

Buffy knew she should step in and stop him, but she was finding this way too interesting. Angel had reopened a past wound by mentioning Cecily, but Spike didn’t seem nearly as affected as his grandsire thought he would be. In fact, Spike seemed almost  _ excited  _ to throw it all back in Angel’s face. “Think I ruined her fun a bit,” he continued. “She’d worked hard to climb up the social ladder and get close to the boy’s father. Most vengeance demons don’t spend months in one place for one person, but Halfrek always seemed a bit different from the rest. She liked to play with her food. Can’t blame her much. I used to be the same way.”

“Used to be?”

“Enough,” Buffy said sharply. She stepped forward, placing a hand on Spike’s arm in what she hoped was an obvious silent request to back off. He retreated, leaving her standing alone in front of Angel’s desk. “I’m done playing games. Answer my question.”

He sat down in his chair with a sigh. “That was so long ago, Buffy. What was the question, again? Something about a circle?”

“What do you know about the Circle of the Black Thorn?” she asked, speaking slowly to give herself time to control her temper. Had Angel always been this much of an ass? “Who are they and what do they want?”

“I don’t know anything about this Circle you’re talking about. I’ve never even heard of them, Buffy. If I did, don’t you think I’d be telling you?”

“I don’t know what you would and wouldn’t do anymore.” She said it simply, like it was an indisputable fact and he’d be stupid to argue with her about it. “To be completely honest Angel, I don’t know  _ you _ anymore.”

“And I don’t know  _ you _ anymore,” he said, getting to his feet again. It was at that moment that Buffy knew exactly where the conversation was going to go. She’d be ready for him this time. She wasn’t seventeen anymore. “You used to be spunky. Sassy. You killed demons because they were evil and you were good and that was that. Now, you’re running around with a girl who broke your one rule, a vampire who’s broken that rule a million times over, and a handful of humans just begging to get caught in the crossfire.”

“My family can handle themselves.”

He laughed through his nose. “Your family. You don’t have a family, Buffy, not anymore. Your father abandoned you, your mother died, and all you’ve got left is a teenage sister who isn’t even real. What do you have then? An unstable witch, a useless boy, an old man past his prime, and a vampire who will leave when he’s had his fill of you.”

“The only time Spike has left since he showed up at Giles’ door on Thanksgiving was when he died,” Buffy said, keeping her tone cool even as her anger raged inside her. “He saw me through Mom’s death, my resurrection, and my depression. He’s seen me at my best and my worst. He’s been accepted by my friends in a way you never were. He’s made a home in my heart and I have no intentions of revoking the invitation.” She stepped closer, planted her hands on his desk, and leaned forward until she could lean no closer. “Tell me again that he’s going to leave me. Tell me he’s going to take off into the night, tell me I’ll wake up and find the other side of the bed empty, tell me he’ll say the worst things he can think of and leave me to cry over him. Tell me that he’s going to do now what you did to me then and  _ I _ will tell  _ you _ that you’re wrong. If Spike stayed at my side through some of the worst times of my entire life, then he’s not going to leave now. And neither will I.

“So do it, Angel. Tell me that Spike is going to throw me aside like you did because I’m  _ dying  _ to explain that I’m not some little girl crying into my pillow over you anymore. I’ve moved on. I’ve been moved on for a  _ long _ time. It’s time you did too.” 

Angel was silent, a million emotions flickering behind his eyes. After a moment, very softly, he said, “I don’t know anything. Why don’t you go harass your Watcher about it? I bet he can tell you more than I can.”

Buffy’s lips quirked into a smile for a moment. “He’s the one who told me to talk to you.”

“I hate to disappoint, but I really don’t know anything. And I have a meeting in a few minutes so if you wouldn’t mind ....”

“Of course,” Buffy said, pushing off the desk. She made a point of lacing her fingers through Spike’s as she passed by him. “We’ll see you again soon, Angel.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

The doors had barely closed behind them before Buffy flung herself into Spike’s arm, yanking him down to her by the lapels of his coat. He made a startled sound but quickly relaxed under her gentle caresses. She pulled away at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Are you two done?” Faith asked with a smirk. “Because you’re making all the stuffy lawyers uncomfortable and it’s very entertaining. So please, keep it up.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, moving towards the stairs and, hopefully, out of Angel’s range of hearing. “Sorry. I just….I might need to stake him. I can’t believe he said those things about all of us. It was like listening to one of Angelus’ speeches. Are we sure he still has his soul? I have no problem committing a little light murder if he doesn’t. Any complaints?”

“Please refrain from murder in the lobby,” a new voice said, the matching human appearing suddenly on the final landing of the stairs and heading towards them.

“Wesley,” she said, surprised. “What’s up?”

“I need to speak with Angel.”

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Robin said. “He’s probably still stewing in there.”

“But if that means you’re available, I’ll totally steal you away for an hour or so,” Buffy said cheerfully. “And Lorne and Gunn. And Illyria, if we can find her.”

“Do I dare ask what requires all of the Justice League but not Batman himself?”

“Did you really just….” She shook her head. “Okay, we’re so discussing that another time. I promise I’ll explain everything in a bit. For the moment, can you just trust me and find them?”

Wesley sighed, looking helplessly at the manila folders in his hands. “Yes, I suppose I can do that. I’ll meet you at Spike’s apartment in twenty?”

“Sounds good.” Her ex-Watcher went back up the stairs and the four headed for the elevators. Buffy pulled the keys out of her pocket. “Who’s driving us?”

“Me!” Faith said, sticking her hand straight up. “I call dibs.”

“No way,” Robin said, plucking the keys from Buffy’s hand. “I’ll drive.”

“Ugh, you never let me have any fun,” Faith said with a smile and playful shoulder bump.

“I wasn’t aware crashing a luxury car was considered fun around here.”

“Are you insane?” Spike asked. “That sounds like a right good time. Faith?”

“Yeah, Bleach Boy?”

“You, me, Angel’s Cadillac, and the open road.”

“Hell yeah!”

“Any chance I can get in on that?” Buffy asked with a grin. “I’m all for destroying Angel’s property and he has, like, a million of those cars.”

“You’re all insane,” Robin said, shaking his head. 

“What can I say, Robin?” Faith shrugged one shoulder. “Every Slayer has a death wish.”

\---------------------------------

Buffy sat on Spike’s lap on the couch, looking around at the group gathered in the apartment. Her fingers ran through his hair idly and he wondered if she even realized she was doing it as she watched the door anxiously. He’d have to tell her to stop soon. She’d end up putting him to sleep if she kept it up.

He felt Andrew brush his leg as the boy shifted away slightly from the pair. He wished they could have gotten the whole couch to splay out on so he could pull her down to lay on top of him, but there were too many people in the room for them to be selfish like that. Oh, well. Maybe later.

Andrew and Xander were the unlucky pair stuck on the couch with the Slayer and her vampire. Dawn had eagerly claimed the floor in front of the couch and was fully stretched out on her back, her brown hair forming a halo around her head. Beside her, Drogyn was eagerly asking her about her existence as the key and her encounters with Glorficus, soaking in her embellished answers like they were his livelihood. Spike almost scoffed. This would go right to the teenager’s ego.

Gunn and Lorne had opted to stand but Wesley sat in a chair beside the couch, keeping a close eye on Illyria as she wandered the apartment. She’d poked around at the television for a moment before moving onto the bathroom, which had consisted of the sound of clattering objects, and now the kitchen. Spike trailed her movements with his eyes, watching as she picked up a pair of tongs and inspected them, pulling away sharply when the lock slid down and they snapped open. “What are we waiting for?” Gunn asked, drawing his attention back to the issue at hand. “We’re all here, aren’t we?”

The door opened as Faith and Robin entered, the Slayer dropping onto the floor next to Dawn and her boyfriend electing to stand beside Lorne. They had been vague on where they were going, but Spike and Buffy had just waved them away. It didn’t take a genius when Faith grabbed her car keys and shot them a wink before she closed the door behind her. “We are now,” Buffy said. He could feel her heart racing and ran his hand up and down her back soothingly, pressing a kiss to her throat when she leaned into his touch. “Faith and Robin, this is everyone. Everyone, this is Faith and Robin. Some of you have met before.”

“Let’s just jump into it, shall we?” Wesley asked. Once everyone had voiced their agreement, he continued. “I’m sure you’re familiar with Angel’s strange behavior lately. He let a demon cult take a baby for sacrifice and he’s been generally aggressive towards his staff, to name two excellent examples. What I cannot understand is why Drogyn is here and how Illyria is connected to Angel’s strange behavior.”

Buffy took a deep breath and quickly recounted her conversation with Giles, Faith and Wood’s arrival, her trip to the amusement park with Faith, Spike, and Illyria, what Drogyn told them, and their conversation with Angel. “So if he won’t listen to reason, we need to speak a language he’ll understand,” she finished. “We need to fight.”

“You want us to take down the Circle of the Black Thorn  _ and _ go after Angel?” Lorne asked. “Buffy, you should know better than anyone that ten people-”

“Eleven people,” Dawn said indignantly. “I can be feisty. Just ask Spike.”

“She threatened to set me on fire in my sleep,” Spike said, looking at Dawn with a knowing gaze. “Was right terrified.”

Lorne nodded to her. “Right. Sorry Beanie Baby.  _ Eleven _ people are not an army.”

“You’re right,” Spike said before Dawn could continue her offended tirade. “We’re not an army, we’re a group of extraordinary people. Look around. Two Slayers, a Slayer’s son, a Slayer’s sister and friends, an ex-Watcher with a taste for magic, an Old One, a freelance vampire hunter, a demon, and a very old vampire. We may not be an army but we’ll put up one hell of a fight.”

“We don’t need an army,” Buffy said. “Not yet. We just need to figure out who’s in this society and take them out when they’re scattered.”

“That’s why we need Angel,” Wesley said with dawning realization. “You think he knows who our targets are.”

“I do.”

“And when we  _ do  _ need an army? What then? As Lorne already said, we aren’t one.”

“I know a lot of people,” she said. “I’m building us a battalion.”

“It’s all pointless if we don’t get Dead Boy on board,” Xander said.

“Here’s the plan. Robin, I want you to take Xander, Dawn, and Andrew back to the hotel. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that we need to keep up appearances. Anyone could be following us and they need to think we don’t suspect anything yet. Illyria, stay here with Drogyn. Keep him safe.”

“The prisoner protecting her jailer. I will do my best to keep him alive while you are gone, demon girl.”

“Wes, Lorne, Gunn, Faith, Spike. You’re coming with me. Swords, stakes, fists. Anything and everything is fair game. We’re going to make Angel listen to us.”

“And if he doesn’t want to talk?” Faith cracked her knuckles, an eagerness sparking in her eyes. “Do I get to play with him? I’m good at it if given the right motivation and boy, would I love to make Angel sing.”

“No.”

“I do,” Spike said. He could still remember years ago when he’d hired that vampire to get him the location of the Gem of Amara. If he thought hard enough, he could remember exactly where he himself had run his grandsire through with a hot poker and how he'd made him scream. He knew all the right buttons to push, all the right places to poke and prod at, all the wounds to open up. If Angel decided to play rough, Spike would teach him to redefine the word. “I’m not as skilled or elegant as my grandsire, but I know how to make him hurt. He’ll be wishing he’d talked to Buffy when he had the chance.”

“But it won’t come to that,” Buffy insisted. “He’s going to talk. I’ll meet you at Wolfram and Hart in a few hours?”

“Why the wait?” Gunn asked.

Buffy smiled. “I told you. I have a battalion to build.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! We’re switching things up with a Tuesday update since Life Things™ are happening tomorrow and I know I won’t be able to post. We’ll be back to our regular schedule on Friday!


	15. Novelty

Well, wasn’t Angel just chock full of surprises?

Buffy had fumed the entire way back to Spike’s apartment after their fight and subsequent conversation with Angel. She probably would have killed him if they hadn’t needed him so badly. Would it have killed him to let them in on his plan to take down the Circle?

Upon arrival, it became apparent that what Angel had told them about his killing Drogyn to join the Circle of the Black Thorn was true. Illyria was alone, sitting on the couch and attempting to pop her dislocated shoulder back into place. “Drogyn is gone,” she said. “Marcus Hamilton overpowered me and took him. I apologize. I failed.”

“It’s alright,” Wesley assured her. “You did your best.”

Now, the Scoobies were in Dawn, Xander, and Andrew’s hotel room, trying to call Giles and Willow. Faith had immediately sprawled on the couch, lifting her head for Robin to sit underneath her. He’d rolled his eyes at her antics, but had started running his fingers through her hair like this was something they did every day. Dawn had laid down on the floor (Buffy made a mental note to ask her sister why she had started claiming the floor at these meetings) and Andrew and Xander had each taken a chair. Spike had dropped into the plush hotel armchair with a tired groan and Buffy had followed, initially perching on the arm before sliding off and onto his lap.

The phone stopped ringing. “Hello?”

“Giles? Willow? You guys there?”

“We’re here,” Willow’s chipper voice said from the phone on the small table. “You guys all there and accounted for?”

“Yep,” Buffy said. “The first virtual Scoobies meeting is ready to start.”

“So, bring us up to speed,” the witch said eagerly. “You talked to Angel, right? How’d it go?”

“The first time? Or the second time? ‘Cause the first he just said a bunch of nasty things and we left when he wouldn’t tell us anything.”

“Should’ve seen her Giles,” Faith said. “She was a spitfire, telling Angel off after the shit he said to us.”

“The second time, I was prepared to make him talk,” Buffy said. “We went in there ready to fight but we started off with talking. It didn't really seem like it was working and, spoiler alert, it wasn’t. He moved so fast when he attacked us….it was insane.”

“Is everyone alright?” Giles demanded. 

“Everyone’s fine. Spike and I are a little bruised from our brief stint being thrown on the floor, but otherwise we’re fine.”

Spike scoffed. “Yeah, fine. That’s exactly what I say after someone nearly killed me, too.”

“He tried to kill you?” Willow demanded. “Is he evil again?”

“He’s not evil again and I’m fine,” she said with a pointed look at Spike. He only smirked at her. “He grabbed me and threatened to bite me if they didn’t all drop their weapons, but he didn’t. Obviously. To be honest, I think he was in more danger than I was. I seriously thought we were going to be interrogating a pile of dust. If you saw the way Spike was looking at him….”

She had forgotten in the past few years just how vicious Spike could be when given a reason. Standing in the office, her back pressed to Angel’s chest and his fangs teasing the skin at the base of her neck, she’d remembered. He hadn’t vamped out like Angel had, but he hadn’t needed to. She could see the centuries old vampire that had stabbed poles through the ceiling of her school because he could hear her crawling in the vents in the man standing in front of her. The only part of him that hadn’t made the shift to full on predator was his eyes, trained on her in a silent reassurance that she would be alright as he aimed Faith’s forgotten crossbow at his grandsire’s head. And she’d believed him. She knew he wouldn’t let her get hurt. She trusted him. So, in that moment, she put her life in his hands again, knowing with complete certainty it would be safe.

“But you didn’t kill him,” Willow said anxiously. “Right? Angel is still dark and broody and all ‘grr argh’ with the bumpies?”

“Yep,” Buffy said, popping the ‘p’. “Angel’s fine, although I kind of wish I’d let Spike put that bolt through his head. It wouldn’t kill him, right? So what would it do?”

“Don’t know, love, and don’t fancy finding out,” Spike said. “So don’t even think about it.” 

“Are you insane? I finally get you back from the dead and I decide to put an arrow through your head? Not likely.” She bent down to place a peck on his lips. His hand came up to cup her neck, gently holding her in place while he deepened the kiss. For one blissful moment, she forgot where she was and who was in the room. There was only Spike’s lips and hands as the scent of him wrapped around her.

And then Giles broke the illusion.

“For God’s sake, you two,” her Watcher said from the phone. “You’re making me incredibly glad I’m not in that hotel room right now. If I was, I’d probably ask Willow to make me blind again.”

“Sorry, Giles,” Buffy said, nestling her head in the crook of Spike’s neck. “Didn’t mean to stir up bad memories there. Where was I?”

“Spike almost killed Angel.”

“Right. But he didn’t because Angel pulled out this charm thingy that put a glamour over us and gave us the whole double agent spiel. Turns out he’d been on our side the whole time and was trying to dismantle the Circle from within. We almost ruined his entire plan by confronting him about everything. Then he gave a run down of who the major players are but I don’t recognize any of the names or what their deals are. I was thinking you two booksy types could maybe help us out?” 

“Of course,” Giles said. “We’ll do our best.”

“Okay,” she said, shifting her position on Spike. “Quick review so we’re all on the same page. We know that the Circle of the Black Thorn is a demon group and that they use magicky mojo to create apocalypses wherever and whenever the senior partners of Wolfram and Hart tell them to.”

“Like an on demand hellmouth away from your local, everyday hellmouths,” Dawn chimed in.

“Exactly. There’s seven major players, six of which are part of the Circle. Angel is convinced that if we take them out, all we’ll have to do is fight the literal armies of hell. No big, right? I figure that with everything we’ve done, from destroying the Sunnydale hellmouth to surviving high school with Snyder, the armies of hell are a piece of cake.”

“Did you say only six belong to the Circle? Including their leader?” Giles asked. She rolled her eyes. He’d probably tuned out long before she even mentioned hell.

“Yeah, why?”

“Strange. All of my reading states that they are at their most powerful with seven members. I can’t imagine why they would hover if-”

“They’re not,” Xander interrupted. “Remember? Angel said he had his whole initiation where he had to kill Drogyn?  _ Angel _ is their seventh member.”

“Quite right,” Giles said with a sigh. “Tell me about these players. If you give me their names, perhaps Willow and I can find something of use.”

“Okay,” she said. “All at once or one at a time?”

“One at a time, please and thank you,” Willow said. “We’re going to have to reference books and articles which could take a second.”

“Okay. The first name Angel said was Izzerial the Devil. Hey, do you think he’s got red skin and a tail and everything?”

“He does,” Spike said. “Saw him around the firm sometimes. He played racquetball every week with Angel.”

“Racquetball?” Faith asked with a laugh. “Damn. When did Angel become such a rich boy?”

“Oh! I found him,” Willow said. There was the sound of something sliding on the other end of the phone and a soft but insistent tapping. “Izzerial the Devil. A tall, red skinned demon with two horns and a pointed tail. Oh my God.”

“What?” the other Slayer asked. “Does he have a curly mustache or something?”

“Close. He’s got a goatee. One of those long ones that should really be considered a crime. Oh, what’s this?” It was silent as she read. “It says that in the Circle, he’s known only as Envy. Weird nickname, but whatever. Seems like he’s just trying to accumulate power. He’s a lawyer at Wolfram and Hart and he’s been steadily moving up the ladder. No shocker there since he works for them in more ways than one. Is that what you’re looking for?”

“That’s perfect,” Buffy said. “Okay, next. The Fell Brethren. Angel made it sound like they were some kind of demon cult.”

“They are,” Giles said. “They’re a cult of demons that relies on seers to tell them when important children are born so they can find them. On the child’s thirteenth birthday they perform the Rites of Gordobach, a ritual sacrifice consisting of-”

“Giles,” Buffy interrupted. “Am I going to regret calling you if you tell me?” 

“Yes. The drawings are  _ very  _ detailed,” Willow said, sounding a little queasy. “The sacrifice is for the demon god Gordobach. The Fell Brethren believe that by sacrificing a child, among other things like panda meat and consecrated urine, every thirteen years, Gordobach will bring them to the perfect afterlife when they die….Huh.”

“Huh? What’s huh?”

“It says the leader of the Fell Brethren, currently a demon named Ed, is always part of the Circle of the Black Thorn and always is referred to as Lust. Why would-”

Spike laughed suddenly. Buffy looked at him like he’d lost his mind. Again. “Oh, come on. Are you all really that thick?” At the blank stares, he rolled his eyes. “Seven members of a demon society and two of them are called Lust and Envy? They represent the cardinal sins.”

“Dear Lord,” Giles muttered. Buffy was certain she could hear him cleaning his glasses. “They are rather on the nose, aren’t they?”

“I thought lust was all about sex and touching and…” Buffy trailed off when she noticed the looks Spike and Xander were shooting her way, the latter a mess of flushed skin and avoided eye contact and the former a cocked eyebrow and slow gaze raked over her body as his tongue curled behind his teeth. She felt heat bloom into being on her cheeks and pushed aside the memory of Riley and the frat house, shifting as subtly as she could when Spike’s fingers found the hem of her shirt and teased the bare skin underneath. Stupid vampire sensing her heart rate.

“It can be,” Spike said with a casual shrug as though he wasn’t tracing her lower spine with his cool touch. “It just means wanting something. And the Fell Brethren want their kid.”

“They call it the Holy Vessel,” Willow supplied.

“Okay. So we’ve got a devil who wants to climb the corporate ladder and a demon cult chasing down babies to kill every thirteen years,” Buffy said, racking her brain to remember another name. “Oh, there was a politician. I think she was a senator or governor or something. She was campaigning for president and had a very suburban mom name. Like Karen, or Susan, or-”

“Helen?”

“Yes. Exactly like Helen.”

“No, you’re talking about Helen,” Willow said with a laugh. “Senator Helen Brucker. Seems like she’s just a normal woman in politics. Oh. Except for accusing her competition of being a pedophile. I wonder where that claim came from. It doesn’t seem like there’s anything to back it up.”

“Didn’t Gunn say something about her?” Dawn asked. “Something about being a demon in human clothing.”

“Of course,” Giles said. “It makes perfect sense, really. There are two options for what Helen Brucker really is.The first option is simply that she’s like Illyria, only on a smaller scale. The demon took over the body of whoever Helen Brucker used to be and is using it to hold the demon’s essence.”

“And option two?”

“Spike, I believe you’re familiar with Magnus Hainsley.”

The vampire in question furrowed his brow in confusion. “Yeah, I met him. I helped Angel kill him before any of you lot even knew I was around. Now  _ that _ was a good time. Aside from the whole incorporeal part, that is.”

Buffy frowned down at him. “Who was he?”

“Necromancer. He was going to use himself to put me in Angel’s body and give him money or something. I don’t remember, I wasn’t really listening.”

“He was going to put you in Angel’s body?”

“He’s a necromancer, pet, that’s his whole schtick. He puts demons in dead human bodies.” Spike’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Oh? What’s oh?”

“Rupert thinks this is his work. That whoever the senator was, she died and some demon is walking around in her skin.”

“It’s a possibility,” Giles said. “But either way, as human as this woman appears, she’s not anymore. She’s a demon fighting for political control.” He paused for a moment. “ _ More _ political control. She is, after all, a senator.”

“Greed,” Willow said. “That’s what it says they call her.”

“What about that other group?” Faith asked. “The Sahrvin? Got anything on them?”

There was the sound of pages flipping and fingers flying over a keyboard from the other end of the phone. “Oh, right there,” Willow said. “The Sahrvin Clan. They’re another group of demons. Looks they have a pretty aggressive history. They’ve been in a feud with the Vinji clan - another demon group - for five generations over….” The line fell silent for a moment. Willow laughed. “A fork.”

“They were fighting over a fork?” Buffy asked. “I don’t think I can come up with a lamer thing to be arguing over.”

“It happens more often than you’d think,” Andrew said. “One time, when I was a kid, Tucker took my favorite Batman fork and-”

“There isn’t much here on them,” Willow continued, interrupting Andrew’s story. “It seems like them and the Vinji mostly stay out of the spotlight. All I can see is that the leader of the Sahrvin joined the Circle to gain enough power to finally take out the Vinji. Seems like they made a peace treaty through Wolfram and Hart, but I doubt the Sahrvin is planning to honor it for long.”

“Why do you say that?” Faith asked.

“Because their leader is called Wrath. Doesn’t exactly strike me as a friendly, ‘let’s make a deal’ kind of demon,” Willow said with a little laugh. “Two more. Who’s next?”

“Cyvus Vail,” Spike said. “You know anything about him, Rupert?” 

“Yes, I’ve heard of him,” Giles said. “He’s a very old, very powerful sorcerer. He’s known for his memory and dimension altering spells.”

“Sounds like he works specifically for Wolfram and Hart,” Willow added. “But there are also accounts of people with no ties to the firm describing having two sets of memories because of him. He’ll do the spells for anyone if they pay enough.”

“He’s physically very weak,” the Watcher continued. “He has an IV with him at all times to pump blood to his heart. Magically, he’s incredibly powerful. Be careful if you get caught in a fight with him.”

“He doesn’t exactly sound like the proud type,” Buffy said. “I’m guessing he’s called Sloth?”

“You’d be right,” Giles said with a sigh. “Which leaves us with Archduke Sebassis, the leader of the Circle of the Black Thorn. He’s a very powerful demon from a long line of demonic nobility. He’s considered to be pure blood, though that isn’t exactly right. Illyria would be considered pure blooded since she’s an Old One. Sebassis is a bit more diluted than he’d like to think he is.”

“I saw him at the Halloween party,” Dawn said. “The pale guy in the robe with the super long horns, right?”

“That’s correct.”

“He had a mini him on a chain leash. I saw him drink his blood. It was pretty nasty. He doesn’t have fangs or anything, so he took-”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “Dawn? Let’s quit while we’re ahead, okay? I’d rather not throw up in a hotel suite.  _ So _ not on the bucket list.”

“The archduke represents gluttony,” Giles said, sounding exhausted just by listening to their side conversations. She could only imagine how much he’d be pacing if he was in the room with them. “It makes sense in a twisted way. He’s nobility, the leader of a powerful secret society, and he has a never ending supply of nutrition. Overindulgence is certainly a word that comes to mind.”

“What’s his deal, though?” Buffy asked. “He just wants power?”

“They all want power,” Spike said, moving his hand to her thigh and rubbing slow circles on her jeans with his thumb. “The difference is that everyone else we just named is trying to climb up. Sebassis is trying to keep his hold at the top.”

“That’s only six,” Xander said. “Buff, you said Angel named seven people.”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Well, Angel is the seventh member of the circle. Pride. But he was talking about Marcus Hamilton, his liaison to the senior partners. He seemed pretty sure Harmony had sold him out to this guy and told him about his plan to take out the Circle, but it was all fake information. He’s been planning this for a while. Honestly, I’m kind of impressed.”

“Angel always was one for planning,” Spike said with a sigh. “But I’ll never guess how he anticipated that  _ Harmony _ would be the one to sell him out.”

“You’re the one who said she’d do it without meaning to.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

“So now what?” Robin asked. “We know the players and we know the game. What do we do now?”

“Giles? Willow?”

“Yes, my dear?”

“Yeah, Buffy?”

The Slayer smiled. “How soon can you be here?”

\---------------------------------

A cool night breeze rustled Buffy’s hair as she wandered through the cemetery with Spike and discussed Angel’s sudden about-face. “I still can’t believe he actually tried to….Spike?” She stopped, looking around when she realized the vampire was no longer beside her. “Spike?”

“Little help, pet?” he grunted, trading blows with a girl appearing to be around Buffy’s age. She landed a hit to his jaw, sending him stumbling backwards into and over a headstone. Buffy shot forward, tackling the girl to the ground and rolling with her as the other girl tried to shove her off. One well aimed knee had her rolling off, jumping to her feet ready to fight. From over the girl’s shoulder she could that Spike had recovered and was prowling towards them.

“What did I say,” Buffy said as she blocked a kick to her side. “About people trying to stake my vampires?”

“You make it sound like it’s happened more than once,” Spike said, dancing around the girl and getting under her guard when she was focused on Buffy. 

“Well, it has,” she said, managing to hit the girl in the stomach and getting a foot to the back of her knees in retaliation. She went down, grunting as she landed on her back on the grass. “Kendra and Faith tried to kill Angel when we were a thing.”

“Slayers trying to kill a vampire,” he said dryly, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and launching her into a statue of an angel. He offered Buffy his hand and she took it gratefully, dusting herself off as she stood. “What a concept.”

“Then Riley stabbed you with a fake stake.” She sidestepped the girl’s next swing, letting her use her momentum to crash into Spike. He spun her around so her back was against his chest. “And he wanted to kill you because of the whole Doctor thing which was incredibly stupid, by the way.”

“Him or me?”

“Is both a good option?” she asked, tilting her head. “But it wasn’t just Riley. Wood and Giles, Faith, Dana, and now….What’s your name?”

“Layla,” the girl said, struggling in the vampire’s grip. “Why won’t you just kill me if you’re going to kill me?”

“Gave up humans a long time ago,” Spike said. “But that’s not what you are, is it?”

Buffy cocked her head “Slayer?”

“Through and through.”

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding here,” she said. “I’m Buffy. I’m a Slayer, too. This is Spike. He’s a vampire, but he has a soul and he’s been helping me long before that. We’re part of the reason you were Called in the first place. Had to stop an apocalypse.”

“Buffy,” Layla said. “I’ve heard about you. A friend of mine around here knows your sister. I guess Ben was wrong. I’m not the only one.”

“Not anymore.”

“There are other girls like us?”

“Hundreds.” She rolled her eyes. “Spike, you can let go of her now.”

He pulled his arms away as though she’d burned him. “Right. Sorry, love.”

Layla’s eyes widened as Spike went around her to stand beside Buffy. “Oh my God. He’s your boyfriend. You’re a Slayer dating a vampire.”

“I know it’s kind of strange, but-”

“I’m dating a vampire, too,” she said eagerly, then immediately deflated. “It’s….It’s hard. He’s on the other side of the city and I never know if he’s okay. I always thought I was the only Slayer and that when Az was talking about you and how he met your sister it was ages ago. But now….another Slayer could kill him and I wouldn’t even know. There wouldn’t be a body to find or anything. He would just not be there.”

Buffy felt her old anxieties with Angel reawakening. She had become well acquainted with the fear that one day he would just be gone, dust floating on the breeze, and she would never know what happened. While that fear existed with Spike to some extent, it wasn’t the same. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone looking for a fight without her at his side. If he died, she would know.

“It’s scary,” she said softly. “Believe me, I’m well aware. But you have to trust him. It’s hard, but it can be easy if you let it be.” Buffy slipped her hand into Spike’s. “I would know. I’ve got a  _ lot _ of experience.”

“You’ve been with two vampires,” Spike said, rolling his eyes. “That’s the same number of humans you’ve been with, tossers though those two were. Don’t think that accounts to ‘a lot’, pet.”

“How do you do it?” Layla asked. “‘Cause, like, the only person who knows anything about this is Ben and I thought I was this weirdo loner who can’t tell her friends anything but now you’re here and it’s like….was it all a lie? ‘Cause you don’t seem alone.”

“Well, for starters? You should talk to your friends,” Buffy said. “I would have died at sixteen if I hadn’t told my friends about the Slayer gig. Seriously, the whole ‘secret identity’ thing is only going to get you killed.” She sighed. “As for the vampire dating, just make sure he’s not, like, broody and that he actually cares about you.”

“Broody?”

“Speaking as someone who’s dated the whole ‘I’m repenting for my crimes, now watch me lurk in the darkness’ thing, don’t do it. It’s not going to end well. But, neither will Joe Normal.”

“And it’s….I mean….” Layla fiddled with the rings on her fingers. “It’s not….weird? Being a Slayer and dating a vampire? Because of the whole ‘fight the demons’ schtick?”

“Not really if you think about it,” Buffy said with a shrug. “But if he makes you happy, be happy.”

Layla looked to Spike. “And you make her happy?”

He grinned. “I’d like to think so.”

Layla relaxed, smiling at the two of them. “Good. That’s good. I’ll just….go now. My dad will be wondering where I am.”

“Wait.” She caught the sleeve of the girl’s denim jacket, hesitating only a moment before she said, “How would you feel about stopping the end of the world?”

Slowly, Layla smiled. “I’m down. What do you need me to do?”


	16. Penultimate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical references? In my Buffy fanfic? It’s more likely than you think.

Spike’s apartment was slowly becoming suffocating. Xander, Dawn, Faith, Robin, and Andrew had arrived early, quickly taking over the place with their loud chatter and large presences. About an hour later, the Justice League arrived. Buffy noticed with relief that after only a day of rest, Illyria already seemed to be mostly recovered from her brawl with Hamilton. Her limp from what had been a seriously messed up ankle was only noticeable if you knew to look for it and her cuts were scabbed over if not gone completely. They fell into an easy rhythm with the Scoobies that put Buffy at ease. It looked like Angel had been telling the truth. He’d been putting on a show.

Buffy sighed as someone knocked at the door, hesitating a moment in Spike’s arms. Once she opened that door, there was no going back. He kissed her forehead. “Showtime, love. You’ve got this.”

Reluctantly, she slipped off the bed and maneuvered through the bodies flinging open the door and smiling brightly. “Will!” She embraced the witch once she came into the apartment, switching off with Xander and Dawn once the other two noticed the new arrivals. 

“I missed you,” Willow said, holding Buffy tightly. “It’s been so lonely up there without you guys. The coven is nice and all but it’s just not the same.” She noticed Spike sitting on the edge of the bed and waved. “Hey Spike. Glad to see you’re not all ghosty anymore.”

“You and me both,” he said with a scoff. “Good to see you again, Red.”

A throat cleared and Buffy laughed, pulling Giles into a hug. “Hi, Giles.”

“Hello, Buffy. Xander, Dawn,” he shook the former’s hand and hugged the latter. “A shame we aren’t meeting under better circumstances.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Don’t be stupid. Obviously the next time we saw each other it was going to be the end of the world. Even before….” she trailed off, eyes landing on Spike as the reality of what she was about to say hit her. If Spike hadn’t called her, she would have continued picking up and training Slayers. She probably wouldn’t have seen Willow or Giles in person ever again. And she’d be mourning him the whole time. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “You’re here now and that is absolutely of the good.”

Giles followed her gaze, landing on the vampire eyeing him warily. “Spike.”

“Rupert.”

“You’re not a ghost.”

“Not anymore,” he said, standing and approaching their small group by the door. “I’ve got my body, I’ve got my soul, and I’m not some sort of deranged animal like Angel was when he came back from the dead. No staking this time, alright?”

Giles smiled nervously, looking to Buffy for help. She only shrugged. She couldn’t tell him where Spike was going when she herself had no idea. “The circumstances then were different. You had the trigger, you were unstable, and-”

“And you couldn’t believe I’d changed,” Spike finished. “Because of that, you didn’t trust Buffy’s faith in me. I know you’ve never liked me, Rupert, but I’m willing to put it behind us if you are.”

He looked at the vampire in surprise. “You are? If you don’t mind my asking….why?”

“Because Buffy loves you and I love her. I can tolerate you for her sake if you can do the same.” He offered Giles his hand and Buffy held her breath, not daring to hope. When her Watcher took it she exhaled with a laugh, throwing herself into Spike’s arms and kissing him deeply.

“Huh. I think I missed something.”

Buffy pulled away sharply and looked to the man who’d spoken, standing in the open doorway with one hand in the pocket of his denim jacket and the other holding the sunglasses perched on his ginger head. “Oz!” she cried, pulling the werewolf in. “Oh my God, it’s so good to see you again! How’ve you been? Where did you go when you took off?”

“I’ve been good. Travelling around here and there. I ended up running into Devon and he told me about Sunnydale.” He looked from her to Spike. “So are you two a thing now?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Probably seems really weird from your perspective.”

He shrugged. “Not any weirder than a werewolf dating a witch.”

“Or a vampire,” Spike muttered with a glance at Angel where he was talking with Giles and Wesley.

“Oz?” Willow appeared behind Buffy, smiling brightly. “Hey! Buffy didn’t tell me she’d called you, too.”

“I didn’t know you two-”

“Oh, yeah,” she said, cutting Buffy off. “Oz called me asking about what happened in Sunnydale. We chat every once in a while.”

“Oh. Well, good. I’m glad you guys kept in touch.” Buffy looked to Spike, seeing the same amused look reflected on his face. Willow led Oz into the house just in time to turn her back on Kennedy, Rona, and Vi as they walked in, laughing loudly. They didn’t say anything to Buffy or Spike, Kennedy and Rona simply nodding their acknowledgment and Vi waving eagerly. Willow’s eyes widened when she saw the Potentials and she grabbed Oz’s arm, dragging him further away from where the trio was headed. Buffy winced internally. She’d have to play damage control between those two.

“I believe we were in the middle of something,” Spike said, wrapping one arm around Buffy’s waist and easing the door closed with his other. Just as she eased up to meet his lips, Spike sighed and looked to the door that appeared to be resisting him. “Guess I was wrong.”

Buffy’s stomach swooped nervously when she took in the trio staring at her. She stepped aside so Graham could go by, offering her a nod much like the Slayers had. She nodded in response, barely aware of what she was doing. Next was Sam, embracing her warmly. She returned it numbly, plastering a smile on her face as the woman vanished in the crowd. Which left her with the last person.

“You came,” she said, the only words she seemed able to form. She mentally kicked herself. This was the Doublemeat Palace all over again.

“You thought I wouldn’t?” Riley asked with a smile. “My girl calls, I’m going to answer.”

“Right. Your girl….” She blinked. Wait. What? “Your girl? You think I’m your girl? Riley, we haven’t even seen each other in, like, two years.”

“Which begs the question why he’s still around,” he said, jerking a thumb towards Spike. “You haven’t killed him in two years?”

“I’ll have you know I managed that all on my own,” Spike said indignantly. “Well, not entirely. Had a little help from our friends at Wolfram and Hart. They were kind enough to bring me back, too.”

“And now you’re with Buffy.”

“In more ways than one.”

Buffy saw the exact moment Riley noticed Spike’s arm around her waist. She watched him visibly shut down, the warmth and hope in his expression disappearing. “It’s been over for a long time, Riley,” she said softly. “Go be with your wife.”

He brushed past her and Spike closed the door, the click of the latch barely audible over the sound of all the chattering. In the span of two hours their army had gone from eleven to twenty three. Still not great, but as Spike had pointed out, they were all supernatural in one way or another.

And, though Angel didn’t know this, they were only the leaders of different parts of her hodgepodge army.

She hadn’t dared ask Riley to bring any Initiative goons and even if she had, she doubted he would have wanted to get the people left involved. Instead, Giles had come with a handful of trained Watchers, Willow had brought her coven with her, Oz was joined by a few werewolf friends from Tibet, and she’d asked that the three Potentials currently sitting on the floor bring as many others as they could. Almost everyone who’d fought alongside her against the First had said yes.

The armies of hell didn’t stand a chance.

“Alright,” Buffy declared loudly, gaining everyone’s attention. The chatter died down and everyone congregated where they could hear her. “We’re all here. Time for the plan. Everyone ready? Good. Starting simple. Riley, Sam, and Graham. You three are going to lead the teams throughout the city. If we all die, someone will still be there to fight against these armies and at least we can say we tried.”

“Next,” Angel said, taking over with a look of approval aimed her way. He wasn’t angry she hadn’t told him. Good. “Dawn and Andrew. We’ve decided you two will be best served keeping Harmony far away from the action. She’s a liability and I don’t want her getting in the way when I fight Hamilton.”

“Once you’ve handled her, I want one of you to keep watch and one of you to go make sure Az and the other peaceful demons in the sewers are gone. You’ll have some Potentials with you to help out. Tell them to get out of the city. I don’t want any casualties that could have been avoided, demon or human.”

“Can we tie her up?” Dawn asked eagerly. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Buffy waved a hand. “It’s Harmony. Go for it. Oz, Kennedy, Rona, and Vi, you four are taking out the big guy himself. Sneak into Sebassiss’ place and kill him dead.”

“Hell yeah!” Rona exclaimed, high fiving the other two girls. Buffy was sure she probably should have been concerned at the eagerness the Slayers had to jump into battle, but that was why Oz was going. He’d keep them in check.

“Illyria,” Angel said. The demon’s gaze snapped to him. “You’re going after Izzerial and his three human buddies. They eat dinner together every night at Il Piccolo Diavolo. You should have no problem with them.”

“Faith, Robin?” Buffy said. “You two are going with Gunn to take out Senator Helen Brucker. She’s a total bitch and her flunkies are all vampires. Piece of cake for you three.”

“Wesley,” Angel said, drawing the ex-Watcher’s attention. “You and Willow will be going after Cyvus Vail. Sorcerers versus sorcerer, you should be able to take him on no problem.” Willow met Wesley’s gaze and gave him an encouraging grin.

“Giles, you, Xander, and Lorne will be handling the Sahrvin Clan. Strike fast and hard.”

Xander snapped his fingers into guns. “You’ve got it Buffster. They won’t even know what hit ‘em.”

“Which leaves me and Spike with the baby cult,” she said, dropping onto the vampires lap. She pointedly ignored Riley’s glower. “Save the kid, kill the demons. Simple.”

He laughed bitterly. “Simple. Sure. That word belongs right up there with ‘careful’.”

She shoved his shoulder playfully but laughed with him anyway. “We meet in the alley just north of the Hyperion for the big fight. Everyone clear?” Everyone nodded. “Good. We fight tonight. Try not to die. Dismissed.”

\-------------------------------------

Spike stood outside the apartment in the shade of the awning, leaning against the wall and exhaling smoke into the air. He’d managed to slip out while everyone else left, sharing a silent look of understanding with Buffy. She needed a few minutes alone with her friends and he needed a few minutes to still his thoughts and nerves.  _ Your world spins so much faster than everyone else’s _ . Sure, Angel had been intentionally cruel when he said it, but he hadn’t been wrong. The only times Spike ever seemed able to slow down were when he was with Buffy.

It was loud outside the apartment in the way big cities like Los Angeles always were. He wished it was quieter, more like Sunnydale in its final days. At least that way they could fight knowing they weren’t responsible for the casualties. Unfortunately, Layla hadn’t been able to follow through on her part, assigned to her in the graveyard the night they met. She’d pleaded with the mayor to evacuate the city, tried to sell him everything from a contaminated water supply, to a bomb threat. When he wouldn’t buy it, she screamed at him exactly what was going to happen to his precious city. He’d thrown her out of his office and left her to return a sobbing mess to Buffy and Spike. Buffy had told the girl that she’d done the best she could and that she should grab her family, friends, and Ben, the vampire Layla was in love with, and get out of the city. She’d tried to convince Buffy to let her stay and fight, but his Slayer had been firm.  _ I won’t have your blood on my hands, Layla. Get out of here while you still can. _

The whole thing left Spike wanting to throttle the mayor. Couldn’t he tell that staying meant the deaths of thousands?  _ Bloody humans, _ he thought.  _ They all think they’re immortal until they’re proven wrong, don’t they? Stupid buggers. _

He took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled slowly in the hopes it would clear his mind. He was starting to think like Anya.

“Spike.”

Lazily, he rolled his head to face the speaker. He straightened, immediately on his guard. “What do  _ you  _ want?”

Angel held up his hands in surrender, taking a cautious step closer. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“About Buffy?”

“Among other things.” Spike slowly relaxed against the wall again, taking a drag while he waited for Angel to continue. “Do you remember Nina?”

“Dog girl?” he asked, exhaling. “Yeah, I remember her. Even talked to her a couple times. She seems like a nice girl.”

“I gave her enough plane tickets for her and her family and told her to run.” Angel put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall beside Spike with a sigh. “I like her.”

Spike shot him a side glance. Was he saying what he thought he was saying? “That right?”

“If I get out of this, I want to ask her out. Officially.” He sighed again. “Buffy’s made it clear she’s done with me. I have to start moving on eventually and Nina is unlike any girl I’ve ever met.”

“You said that about Buffy once upon a time.”

“Everyone who’s met Buffy has said that.” Spike smiled and took another drag. His grandsire wasn’t wrong. He was certain  _ he  _ had said that about Buffy at some point. “I’m done with her, Spike. She’s happy with you and you’re happy with her.”

“Since when do you care about my happiness?”

“Since I finally understood,” he said, voice low. “I was a monster without my soul, Spike. I murdered, raped, and ravaged my way through my unlife. I was cursed with a soul to feel guilt and it drives me to atone.” Angel shook his head. “Even without a soul, you were more human than I was with one. You liked reading. You went to the theater. You loved Drusilla.”

“So did you.”

“No. I didn’t. I lusted after her, I obsessed over her, but I never loved her. Not the way you did. And I think that’s why your soul doesn’t weigh on you like mine does. You won yours for love. It didn’t drastically change you because there wasn’t anything drastic to change.”

“You hate me.” 

“I don’t-”

“Will you shut up and listen for once,” Spike snapped. “You hate me, Angel. You always have. You hated me because I was reckless, then you hated me for wanting Dru, then you hated me for coming to Sunnydale and messing with your new life there, and now you hate me for loving Buffy. You hate me because even though Drusilla sired me, you made me what I am. I’m a walking, talking reminder of the crimes you committed, and you hate that it doesn’t weigh on me like it does on you. That I’ve accepted the thousands of awful things I did and have chosen to try and get on with my life. But you….you’re trying so hard to be a man, you’ve forgotten that soul or no soul, we’re both still monsters. You can’t forget that, Angel.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

He shrugged, taking his lighter out of his jeans and flicking the top open and closed. “Find the balance.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Not so hard in practice. There used to be a wall separating William from Spike. Buffy made the monster want to remember how to be a man so I took a sledgehammer to the wall and realized they aren’t two different people. They’re two parts of me.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “How exactly does that help me, Byron?”

“Angel and Angelus, you ponce. They’re the same bloody person. I wanted nothing to do with the man but you want nothing to do with the monster. You’re not going to get anywhere with that mentality. It’ll always be a part of you. You just need to tear the wall down and make your demon play nice with your soul.”

“I need to find a reason to want to,” he said. “I thought Buffy might be my reason. Looks like you took that from me, too.

Spike chuckled darkly, examining Angel through the smoke curling around his face. “You’re lucky we both need our strength for tonight, Peaches. You would have been in a world of pain otherwise.”

“It’s not my fault you always end up stealing-”

“I didn’t  _ steal  _ Buffy from you,” he said sharply. “She’s a woman, not one of those expensive cars you keep in the garage. I can’t steal what you never owned.” He flicked the cigarette butt onto the pavement and ground it out beneath his boot. “We’re done here. I have people to get back to.”

“Spike, I’m not finished. Can’t you wait-”

“No, I don’t think I can.” 

“I wanted to talk to you about the prophecy.”

“Ah. The Shanshu rubbish. What about it?”

Angel searched Spike’s face, but the younger vampire wasn’t sure what his grandsire was looking for. Had he not expected Spike to hear him out? Or was he looking for answers before he asked the question? “Do you want the prophecy to be about you?”

He fiddled with his lighter as he considered. It had been over a century since he’d been human, but he could still remember how it felt. To not crave the taste of blood, to have a heartbeat, to walk in the sunlight. To lose his strength, his penchant for violence, his constitution that allowed him to drink and smoke with no effect. To lose his immortality. To be human again. Did he want it? 

_ I love you. And I don’t want to see you as anyone other than who you are. _

“Maybe if things were different I would,” Spike finally said. “But knowing what I know now, I can’t say I’d want that.”

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious? My golden goddess is gonna have a nice long life. Why would I want to give up my own?” He sighed. “Besides, your werewolf is as mortal as any human. You deserve the chance to grow old with her. And if not her, someone else. You’ve spent too long tangled up with psycho vampires and batshit Slayers.”

“So have you.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “What can I say? The women like a little monster in their men and the man likes a little crazy in his women.”

Angel chuckled but sobered quickly, looking at Spike with thinly veiled hope. “You really believe that I deserve to be happy?”

“Yeah. I really do. But I’m not the one that needs to believe it, Liam.” He turned away, heading for the apartment door. Using two fingers, Spike offered his speechless grandsire a lazy salute. “See you on the other side of the war, mate. Here’s hoping we both get what we want.”

\------------------------------------

“So then,” Willow said, swallowing a bite of her dumpling. “Sarah was like, ‘I got it’ and sent the slime monster into the wall where it exploded into a million little goopy pieces. It was nuts! I begged her to teach me the spell, but she said it was one her grandmother had made up and that she couldn’t tell me because it was a family secret. Isn’t that crazy?”

Buffy smiled, twirling her noodles around her fork and holding it up over her shoulder. She felt Spike lean forward to steal the offered bite, shifting how she leaned against his chest. “That’s definitely of the crazy. I can’t believe you’ve been helping other Slayers this whole time and never told me.”

Everyone had taken off, leaving Giles, Willow, Dawn, and Xander in Spike and Buffy’s apartment. She’d made it clear that Andrew could stay, but he’d insisted on going with Kennedy, Rona, and Vi to catch up so she let him go. Without a moment’s hesitation once the boy was gone, Giles picked up the phone and ordered Chinese food to be delivered to them. Spike had returned moments before the food arrived, smelling of smoke and looking thoroughly pleased with himself. Now, the quintet sat in a large circle on the floor with the exception of Giles who claimed he was too old to be pulling such maneuvers and sat on the couch. A spread of white boxes and aluminum dishes had been placed in the center within easy reach of everyone. “Just one,” Willow said. “Tanya. It came up pretty suddenly but when she asked, I couldn’t say no. She’s doing really well.”

“And Dana?”

“We’re taking good care of her,” Giles assured her. “I check in with her Watcher once a week. He says she’s fierce, but he hasn’t had to sedate her in weeks.”

“Good. That’s really good to hear.”

“So now that you know what’s been happening over in England,” Willow said. “Spill. What’s been going on in the City of Angels?”

“Spike was a ghost, cyborg assassins pretended to be Wesley’s father, there was a camel in the lobby, Cordelia died, Fred died and her body was taken over by an Old One, and Buffy stole a Viper from Angel,” Dawn said, listing them off on her fingers.

“There was a camel in the lobby?” Willow asked. “Sorry,” she added at the look Buffy shot her. “It just seemed the simplest to start with.”

“And we already knew about Spike, Wesley’s father, Cordelia, and Fred,” Giles added, cleaning his glasses as he asked, “Did Dawn say you stole a luxury car?”

“It wasn’t stolen. It was borrowed without permission,” she said defensively. Spike grinned. “I brought it back.”

“It’s mine now,” he declared proudly. The car was sitting in the apartment parking garage, staying well away from the sun despite the vampire friendly windows. She wasn’t going to take any chances. “And the camel was Harmony’s fault.”

“It’s been crazy across the pond,” Xander said. “Seems like we’ve both had our hands full.”

“And continue to have our hands full,” Buffy added. “The armies of hell itself. It literally cannot get worse than this, right? I thought the First was bad but man, does this give it a run for its money.”

“We’ll handle it Buffy,” Willow said with a reassuring smile. “We always do.”

“Red is right,” Spike murmured in her ear. “We’ll be fine. Relax a bit.”

“I can’t-”

“Buffy.” She felt him shift behind her and rest his hands on her shoulders. Before she could protest he started to knead her muscles with slow twists of his wrists. A low groan escaped from the back of her throat as he worked out one particularly tight knot. She tilted her head back, resting it against his shoulder before she could fully process what she was doing. The other three people in the room continue to chat and eat without paying them any mind and, once it became apparent that they didn’t care about what Spike was doing to her, she melted into his touch. “Relax, pet,” he murmured. “Let the world turn without you for a tick. You’ve got a big night ahead of you.”

“Hey Buffy?” Xander asked.

Panic shot through her and she stiffened. “Yeah?”

“Can you pass me the rice?”

She relaxed, returning the reassuring smile he gave her and leaning forward to pass him the box. “Yes. I can absolutely do that.” She settled herself against Spike again and looked up at him expectantly. With a chuckle, he continued his methodical movements that slowly reminded her of the way he always seemed to know just where she needed his touch.

“Oh, Buffy,” Giles said. “I have some news for you. Nothing bad….in fact, it’s quite the contrary. I’ve done a bit more research into our hypothesis. Everything I’ve found points to you living to be anywhere from four to five hundred years old.”

Buffy stared at him as her mind whirled trying to process how much time she would have if she survived this battle. Four to five hundred years of life.  _ Three  _ hundred years was almost as long as Angel had been alive. She could live to be twice that….. 

“So she’s like Aragorn?” Spike asked. His hands had moved from her shoulders to her arms, a comforting weight.

“Precisely,” Giles agreed, shooting him a look so surprised she wished she knew who Aragorn was. “A combination of Slayer healing, strength, and the magic in your blood means that you’ll age differently and you’ll live much longer than the average human.”

“Five hundred years,” she whispered. “That’s such a long time.”

He ducked his head to murmur in her ear. “Think you can stomach me for that long, pet?” He was teasing, but only partially. She could hear the undercurrent of fear in his voice. She twisted around in his arms and sent him crashing backwards onto the floor with the force of her kiss. “Is that a yes, then?”

“It’s a yes,” she said breathlessly.“It’s an I’m yours until one of us dies for good. It’s a forever for as long as forever lasts.”

“God, Buffy-”

She didn’t seem to care that her friends were behind them as he braced himself against the television stand with one hand and held her with the other, letting her excitement mingle with his relief until all that existed was where their bodies were touching. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips. “I love you, Spike.”

“I love you too, Buffy.” His voice was a low rumble. “I love you more than you can ever imagine.”

She pulled away but continued to lay against him. She heard Willow giggle at something Xander was saying under his breath and she didn’t need to turn around to know Giles was cleaning his glasses.

“Five hundred years,” Willow said, loud enough for the couple to hear. “Talk about an epic love story. I’d watch that movie.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, smiling at Spike. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y’all; here we are. We’re finally at the end. Not ‘the end’ the end, but The End. We’ve got seven mini fights leading up to the big final fight and an epilogue for good measure so starting with the next chapter on Wednesday, updates are going to be daily all the way through to chapter 25!


	17. The End Part One-Illyria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we go! First up, Illyria vs. Izzerial....

Illyria stood on the roof of Wolfram and Hart and braced her hands on the ledge, looking down at the city without really seeing any of it. She was standing exactly where she had seen the half-breed and the Slayer on New Years. The memory of their interaction continued to replay in her mind and she wondered what the reaction would be if one of them were to perish in the coming battle. She imagined the vampire exploding into dust-an easy image to picture considering she had not only seen it, but been responsible for it-and the Slayer collapsing with tears once she realized he was gone. She imagined a blade piercing the girl’s heart and the vampire launching into a frenzied attack, ripping out the throats of any demon who-

She shook her head. Since when did she care about the emotions of mortals and impure demons? Since when did she imagine?  _ Since that night, _ part of her whispered, presenting her with the image of the vampire and the girl. Illyria shook her head again, then froze with revulsion at having performed such a human gesture. “Humans,” she said with disgust. “Infecting me with their poison.”

_ They weren’t all humans, though _ , she reminded herself. They were witches and half- breeds and girls who were nothing more than children playing at heroes. Yet this one….this one was something different.  _ I killed the Master and Angelus. And I fought Glorificus, Olvikan, and the First Evil. I didn’t kill those three myself, but I did a lot of heavy lifting.  _

Illyria recognized most of the names the Slayer had said. She was unfamiliar with the Master she referred to and she had heard the name Angelus mentioned in reference to Angel,but they were the only ones she wasn’t intimately familiar with. She’d known Olvikan personally and had fought alongside the large snake-like demon during the Primordium Age. The First Evil was nearly as old as she was, if not older, and she was intimately familiar with the power it wielded. The fact that this girl had managed to defeat it was an impressive feat and one Illyria couldn’t ignore. And Glorificus….

_ That Which Cannot Be Named. The Beast. The Abomination. Glorificus. Any of this ringing a bell? _

_ Yes. I knew Glorificus. An insolent girl. Arrogant and proud. I did not care for her. _

She remembered the Beast well.

“Please,” the girl had pleaded, groveling at Illyria’s feet with blood smeared on her face and sludge tangled in her limp golden curls. She’d looked up with eyes that couldn’t hide her fire and Illyria smiled. “Please don’t do this.”

The God-King had slapped her, her hand cracking against the girl’s cheek and sending her collapsing fully to the ground. “You disrespect me,” she’d said. She hadn’t looked all that different herself, in a body similar to a human yet taller and with longer limbs to fully allow all the grace her current bag of bones could never contain. Her skin had been the rich blue that lingered at her forehead, her hair had been a dark black….not even close to her natural form, but the one she took when dealing with the demons below her. A silent reminder to them that she could change the game while they were forced to play the hand they were dealt. “You dare to challenge me. You wish to rule.”

“And if I do?” The girl had gotten to her feet with little trouble, staring Illyria in the eye as the Old One glared at her. “I’m tired of being treated like dirt and wearing rags every day just because I’m not a pure bred demon like you. I’m not a demon at all. I’m something beyond even  _ your  _ comprehension. You call yourself a God-King, but it’s nothing more than a title.  _ I _ am a  _ true  _ god; in my blood, in my bones, in every glorious part of my body and I  _ demand _ that I have the title to show for it! ”

“You dare say you are my equal?”

“No. I dare say I’m your better.”

“You are a demon wearing the skin of a human and wielding the power of an Old One. You are lower than the half-breeds, you are beneath me.”

“I am a  _ god _ .”

“You wish for your own rule?” Illyria had asked, eyes narrowed. She waved a hand and a portal of glowing red light appeared at her side. She grabbed the girl by her disgusting hair and forced her to her feet. “Very well. Perhaps you can find someone to worship you in another land.”

She hadn’t even given Glorificus the chance to scream before she shoved her through the portal and closed it behind her.

She didn’t regret her actions, but she felt a strange tightness in her chest at the thought of that fiery young spirit being extinguished. She should have died when she was thrown through the portal to a dimension Illyria didn’t know the name of. At the same time, it seemed only fitting that Glorificus was destroyed by the very thing that had also destroyed the Old Ones.

She placed a hand to her chest and pressed hard but the feeling didn’t go away, in fact it only became worse. She pulled her hand away and twisted it in front of her face, inspecting it with wide eyes. Something spilled past her lips and she clapped her hand over her mouth. Had she just laughed? A strange feeling was building in her chest and she realized with horror that she was feeling emotions and feeling them intensely. 

The image of the vampire and the Slayer standing in front of the window flashed in her mind, quickly shifting to the threat she had made against Illyria. The demon girl’s emotions only made her stronger. Perhaps Illyria could turn them into an asset as well.

With one last glance at the spot where Spike and Buffy had held each other, she turned and headed out into the Los Angeles streets.

\------------------------------------------------

She was able to find Izzerial and his friends easily. They weren’t particularly worried about being conspicuous as they drove through the Los Angeles streets. She ran beside them on the rooftops and followed their car all the way to the restaurant they were dining at, listening to their vain chatter about whatever evil act they were in the process of committing. Once they entered the restaurant, she dropped down into a side alley next door and lurked in the shadows, staring with single minded focus at the door. Had anyone seen her, they likely would have run away terrified.

The demon reappeared later with his three cohorts close behind, too caught up in their laughter to notice Illyria crossing the street and stalking towards them. She let them get in the car and get situated, standing in front of the machine and waiting. The lights turned on, illuminating her, and she cocked her head as she waited for them to get out of the vehicle. 

After a moment of loud bickering, one of the humans opened the backdoor and slid out of the car, stopping in the headlights so his friends could watch him talk to her. She almost smiled at his misplaced confidence. What was it Wesley had told her while he tended to her wounds in Spike’s apartment?  _ Everyone’s immortal until proven otherwise, _ his calm voice said from somewhere in her mind, bringing forth the memory of a cool cloth being pressed to her forehead.  _ Even you, Illyria. _

As she stared down the man walking towards her, Illyria realized she wasn’t helping Angel because she had no other options or because she was suddenly on the side of good. She was doing it because she had things she didn’t want ruined here. She enjoyed her conversations with Spike and she liked seeing his interactions with Buffy. She had become fond of Lorne, Gunn, Angel, even Harmony, infuriating as Illyria found her. She wanted to know the people Angel had called friends in his past, the ones who came when Buffy asked it of them. She wanted to learn more about Wesley, the man in love with the woman she had murdered and the man who had helped her get her footing in this strange new world.

She wanted to feel direct sunlight on her face, wanted to know what the ocean felt like against her bare skin, wanted to try the cigarettes and alcohol Spike was so fond of just to see what they did to her. She wanted to see what the humans had made of the world she used to rule with an iron fist, the beauty they had cultivated from the destruction that came of the Primordium Age she had lived in.

Illyria  _ liked _ this world and she wanted it to continue to exist in whatever form it took. 

“Hey,” Izzerial’s human friend said, strutting towards her. “Why don’t you run home, little girl? We’ve got places to-”

She grabbed him and threw him up in the air with little effort, tilting her head to watch him sail up to the heavens. He seemed to hover for one perfect moment before he came crashing back down to Earth faster than he’d flown up. The man landed on top of the car with a loud crash that nearly hid the grating shriek of the roof collapsing inwards. The remaining two humans and the demon exited the car, bodies tense in preparation of a fight. “Do you know who I am?” Izzerial demanded.

“I could ask the same of you,” she said. She shot forward and grabbed one of the humans before he could move. She didn’t hesitate, grabbing the head of the man squirming in her hands and yanking it off. Blood spattered on her face and she blinked the wetness from her eyes as she examined the head she held by the hair. “I wanted the spine, but I suppose this will do.” She let the body fall and land in the street, a pool of red slowly forming on the pavement underneath him. 

“Illyria,” Izzerial said with dull understanding. It brought her a glimmer of pleasure to hear the lack of fight in his voice. He knew there was no walking away from her. “I thought you worked for Wolfram and Hart.”

“I serve no one,” she said, dropping the head onto its owner's back. After all, she wasn’t finished yet and she would need both hands to kill the other two. “Certainly not the scum you call Wolfram and Hart.”

The final human of Izzerial’s trio sneaked around the car and attempted to sprint past her. She dropped low and swung her leg out in a wide arc. It collided and the man hit the ground with a thud and a groan. She felt a modicum of displeasure as she stood and looked down at him. That move never worked on Spike anymore. She had expected this man to jump over her leg as well. Disappointing.

She pressed her foot against the man’s sternum to pin him in place and reached down, plunging her hand into his chest and ripping out his heart. She straightened, turning to Izzerial as she examined the organ in the palm of her hand. She was glad she wore gloves. Sticky and slippery hands would only hinder her in the upcoming battle.

“What is this?” the devil demanded, beginning to inch away.

She looked up at him sharply, tilting her head and holding him in place with her stare. “A coup.”

Illyria dropped the heart and darted forward. She grabbed Izzerial by his shirt before he could sprint away and whirled around to slam him onto the hood of the car, barely noticing how the fabric tore from the force of her action. The car alarm blared as smoke curled around the two of them from the destroyed engine. He writhed underneath her in a vain attempt to shove her off. “I thought you'd put up more of a fight,” she said. “Not a problem. I’ll save my strength for the real battle.”

With little ceremony, she flipped him onto his stomach and ripped his spine from his back with a wet  _ squelch _ . She inspected it for only a moment before she tossed it aside. Neither the heart, the head, nor the spine were worthy enough to keep as a trophy. She considered ripping off his tail, then decided against it. She would claim a trophy from a more worthy foe.

Remembering Angel’s words to her in private, she picked up the bodies and threw them into the side alley she had been hiding in. If there was an L.A. still standing once they were finished, they’d clean them up then.

That done, she examined her work with a small smile and stalked down the street. She wasn’t entirely sure why, but something inside of her was urging her to check in on Wesley and the witch. That same something was making her stomach ache unpleasantly and her legs move faster until she was full on sprinting down the street.

_ Everyone’s immortal until proven otherwise, _ she thought.  _ Especially you, Wesley. _


	18. The End Part Two-Xander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next, Giles, Xander, and Lorne take on the Sahrvin clan....

Xander examined the axe before dropping it back into the suitcase acting as their weapon’s chest in the hotel room. He grabbed a sword, giving it a few experimental swings before nodding and sheathing it at his waist. He wasn’t the best swordsman, but he could lop off a few heads with a big enough blade. And a big enough blade he had. “You ready to get in the thick of things this time, G-Man?”

“For God’s sake Xander, will you stop calling me that?” Giles said without any heat as Xander closed the suitcase and zipped it up. The staff already thought they were a little strange for staying there for over three months, no reason to make it worse by leaving weapons lying around. Although, if they were honest, the hotel likely wouldn’t make it out in one piece. Hell,  _ Los Angeles _ probably wouldn’t make it out in one piece. It was something Xander had thought extensively about. How would this be explained away by the government without giving conspiracy theorists more cannon fodder? He was incredibly curious about what the news reports would read once it was all over. Anya would have found them hilarious, he was sure.

God, Anya. It seemed strange to go into another fight against the end of the world without her calm statements about their low chances of survival and her absence left Xander determined to survive. As selfish as she could be at times, he doubted she would be happy to see him in the afterlife so soon after her own arrival. So he would fight and he would put on a damn good show for her to watch wherever she was and he would survive to fight another day. For her.

“Xander,” the Watcher said, drawing the young man out of his reverie. He cleaned his glasses furiously and Xander realized with a start that he seemed nervous. Weird. Had he ever seen Giles this blatantly shaken? “I thought I ought to let you know that….I know that you haven’t had the best role models in your life, but I always thought of you three as my children.”

“You did?” Xander asked. “Woah. Why the sudden confession? And why to me?”

“I said as much to Willow when we were in England,” he said, perching his glasses on his nose. “And deep down, Buffy has always known.”

“Again I ask, why now? Why not before the fight with the First?”

“Because as unsure as we were about our survival against the First, I was more sure then than I am now,” he said. “And I think it would do you good to hear that….well, that I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished since I’ve known you, Xander. You’ve grown into a respectable young man.”

Xander smiled and nodded, pretending the words hadn’t touched him as deeply as they had. Giles, sensing his deflection, patted his shoulder and headed for the suitcase. “We’d better step on it. Lorne will be wondering where we are.”

They didn’t waste any more time and efficiently gathered up their chosen weapons, attached them to themselves, and set out with little fanfare. There was nothing more to be said between the two men.

Lorne joined the duo halfway to the lair, nodding at each of them before falling into step at Giles’ other side without a word. The silence didn’t last long, however, as the Watcher launched into what Xander considered to be a brutal and thorough interrogation of the demon as they headed for the lair of the Sahrvin Clan. Xander walked with his hands in his jacket pockets, listening to Lorne’s answers on everything from why he left his world to how his powers worked. The chatter didn’t stop until they reached the front door of a discreet basement apartment. Xander took a moment to ponder the irony that the most human demon he had ever known lived in a crypt while the true demons lived in an L.A. apartment. The fates had a cruel sense of humor.

“Can I kick the door in?” Xander asked eagerly, keeping his voice quiet. “I’ve always wanted to kick a door in.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Giles demanded, his tone just as low. “No, you cannot kick the door in.”

“Oh, come on Oxford,” Lorne said. Xander swallowed back a laugh at the shade of red Giles was steadily turning.  _ Bad move,  _ he thought with the slightest head shake. Was the demon even aware that nickname was already taken? If he was, he didn’t seem to care. “We might all die tonight. Let the kid kick in the door.”

“You took a door down with a chainsaw once,” Xander reminded him. “It’s my turn.”

Giles sighed. “Fine. You may kick the door down.”

Xander pumped a fist in the air in victory. Hopping on the balls of his feet, he thrust his leg out and sent the door crashing inwards in an explosion of wood chips. He stalked in with his sword in hand, Lorne and Giles close behind. The demons only stared at them and for a moment, the room held its breath.

The apartment was surprisingly large for being in Los Angeles. A fully stocked bar with a demon bartender and demon patrons ran along one wall and a large table with a green felt covering held two demons playing a game of cards, the deck stacked neatly between them. Just barely avoiding the legs of the table was an oriental rug that had been thrown on the wooden floor. Over the windows set into one pale blue wall were red curtains patterned with large, shimmering golden circles. On another table where a few more demons were chatting stood three cages, each holding small white birds.

The demons themselves were unlike any Xander had ever seen. He could only compare them to aliens with their greyish skin and long tentacles hanging from their chins. Their large noses were the most prominent feature on their face, except for maybe said tentacles because really, how could he  _ not _ look at them. Turbans wrapped on their heads made it impossible to tell if they had any hair and the elaborate robes they wore made it difficult to tell what exactly their body shape was.

The moment passed. Giles was the first to move, taking the head off the bartender and watching it roll along the countertop before plopping to the floor. After that, everything exploded into motion. The apartment wasn’t too full of Sahrvin, but Xander still managed to find himself swarmed. He blocked one sword with his own, ducking a second and watching as the demon killed his clanmate. Sapphire blood splattered his face and he gagged at the stench, managing to separate himself from the mob to go help Lorne, running through the Sahrvin about to stab the green skinned demon from behind. “Thanks Cowardly Lion,” Lorne said with a salute and a wink.

Xander gaped at him for only a moment before shrugging and throwing himself back into the fight. It certainly wasn’t the strangest nickname he’d ever had.

Before long there was enough blood spilled from exposed throats that it had soaked the rug and was making the exposed wood slick. It also made the entire room smell like sewage, to the point that Xander was trying not to vomit with every slash and swing of his sword. 

One grabbed him from behind and he managed to send them both to the floor. Sapphire blood made his shirt cling to him as he struggled with the demon on top of him. It took a swing down with it’s knife, aiming for his face. Unable to move, Xander braced for a hit that never came. Or rather, didn’t come in the way he’d expected it to.

A crack like a firework exploded through his head and the demon looked in shock at the bloody line it had made along Xander’s cheek. “Sorry,” he said with false cheer, driving his hidden knife up through the demon’s chest. “Somebody already used that one.”

He pushed off the demon corpse and stood to find the fight over. Huh. That was fast. 

“Indeed,” Giles said, wiping demon blood off his glasses. Xander looked over at him in surprise. He must have been thinking out loud. “There weren’t very many Sahrvin in here. However, I’m quite positive we managed all of them. Good Lord, what happened to your face?”

“He tried to take my eye out,” Xander said, gingerly touching the bleeding cut and hissing as it stung. His fingers came away dark red. “Lucky for me, he picked the wrong one.”

“Will you be alright to keep going?”

He nodded. “I’ll be fine, Giles. I’ve survived worse. Fake eye, remember?”

“Right. Yes, of course.”

“So. Off to Buffy’s house we go, then?”

“Not me,” Lorne said, holding up a hand. “I’m done.”

“You okay there, Maestro?” Xander asked, looking to the demon in concern. “You’re looking a little green. More so than usual, I should say.”

“I’ve never been one for violence. This is an unsavory business. So, I’m done. This was my curtain call.”

“Is Angel expecting you at the alley?” Giles asked. “Or shall we assure him that your absence is not because you’re dead?”

“He knows,” Lorne said. “Don’t worry about that.”

Giles clapped the demon on the shoulder and Xander gave him a firm forearm grip of goodbye. “Please, reach out to us whenever you’d like. My door is always open.”

“I appreciate it,” he said. He took one last look around at the mess they’d made, shuddered, and walked away with nothing more than a quiet, “That’s all, folks.” The remaining duo didn’t respond. It didn’t seem like something they were meant to respond to.

They didn’t move until they were certain Lorne had had plenty of time to get away and once they got outside, Xander took advantage of the impromptu shower to wring out his shirt, watching the water turn blue as it splattered onto the pavement. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked to get the slime out of his hair and off his skin. Not that it would matter once the real fight began. “Ready for the big one, G-Man?” Xander asked, clapping Giles firmly on the back.

Giles sighed, cleaned his glasses one last time, and replaced them on his nose. “I suppose I am. Shall we?”

“We shall.”


	19. The End Part Three-Willow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, Willow and Wesley vs Cyvus Vail….

Willow sat on the floor outside Cyvus Vail’s dining room, legs extended and head tilted back against the wall. She wished she could be  _ in _ side if only to see what the dining room in a demon’s mansion looked like, but she’d been given specific instructions to wait for Wesley’s signal. 

Telling her what the signal would be was the only thing he said to her on the journey over before he walked up to the front door and knocked. Willow had frantically cloaked herself and followed him inside, trailing the two until they reached the dining room where the door was slammed in her invisible face.  _ Rude _ .

Wesley had clearly changed a lot since Sunnydale. Gone were the days of tweed suits and glasses perched on the edges of noses. He was different, rougher around the edges, but she couldn’t tell what was personal growth and what was a reaction to the loss of Fred. His pain was evident everywhere and she wished he had talked to her before they jumped into the fray. She understood better than he could ever imagine.

With nothing else to do, Willow let her mind wander to the day Tara died. It all happened within a matter of minutes, but in her mind each second became a year. She could see how, thread by thread, the red stain over Tara’s heart grew larger. She could remember each teardrop that ran down her face as she held her girlfriend and begged for Osiris to bring her back. It wasn’t all that different from how she was sure Wesley was feeling about Fred. Willow was certain that, if asked, he could recall what his love had been wearing as he held her, too.

She wanted to tell Wesley that things would get better. That he would move on, maybe even fall in love with someone new. Willow had….sort of. She had ended up in a relationship that, after a few late night talks with Buffy, she realized was a rebound that was never going to last. Kennedy was skeptical at best and wary at worst of the magic Willow was trying to learn to use and her feelings only got worse once she learned the full story of Willow’s magic addiction, including Amy’s influence, her trips to Rack, how she hurt Dawn, and Tara and Warren’s deaths. After one particularly bad fight over the summer that sent Willow to Buffy barely held together, she broke off the relationship. Kennedy left for Toronto and hadn’t reached out to any of them since, though she kept in contact with Rona who updated Buffy whenever Kennedy moved locations. Last she’d heard, the Slayer had been in Brisbane before answering Buffy's call and coming to Los Angeles.

Willow sighed and idly knocked the sides of her feet together. Sitting on the floor of a mansion and reminiscing about her exes was low on her bucket list. Like, so low it was probably below actually dying. She stood, wiped nonexistent dust from her jeans, and pressed her ear to the door. She could just make out muffled conversation.

“Angel is unpredictable,” Wesley was saying. “He has a soul. Certainly the Circle of the Black Thorn would reject someone as set in their morals as he is.”

“I tried to tell them not to,” a man she assumed was Cyvus Vail said. His voice was thin and frail. The pictures hadn’t lied, then. He was  _ really _ old. “He’s so set on his path of redemption. He can’t be trusted but, as you can assume, they didn’t want to listen.”

“Perhaps someone like me would be more up your alley.”

“Perhaps so.”

She heard a  _ whoosh _ , followed by a thud. Dread began to harden like a stone in her stomach. What was Wesley doing in there? What had caused that sound? Why wasn’t he giving her the signal? “You’re finished,” Wesley said.  _ No, no, no, _ she mentally screamed.  _ This wasn’t the plan! What are you doing? _ “The Circle is going to be destroyed. Just like you’re about to be.”

Vail laughed and Willow shifted nervously from foot to foot. This was definitely not good. What was she supposed to do? Wesley deviating from the plan wasn't a contingency she thought she’d have to plan for and she was at a loss for what course of action to take, resulting in her making the decision to stand outside and continue listening. “You’re nothing but a boy,” the demon said. “Allow me to show what a true wizard can do.”

She heard a grunt that could only have come from Wesley. “Alright,” the ex-Watcher said. “I suppose we’ll have to do this the normal way.”

_ No, no, no, no. _

“I suppose so.”

Willow gasped as she heard Wesley let out a cry of pain. Unable to wait any longer, she made herself visible once again and flung the door open, rushing in to find Wesley hovering a few inches off the ground with a large knife in his stomach and a red skinned demon in front of him. Distantly, she realized the drawing had been incredibly accurate. A thin curtain of white hair flowed down his back and a plastic tube rested over his robes and snuck under the collar, an IV drip not too far away from where the demon was standing. Willow wondered briefly what would happen if the tube disconnected from Cyvus Vail but she quickly disregarded the thought to look at the ex-Watcher. She felt tears gather in her eyes as her eyes wandered to the knife.  _ You idiot! _ she wanted to scream at him.  _ What the hell were you thinking? _

Across the room, the second set of doors flew open and Illyria stalked inside. The two women met each other’s gazes for only a moment, but they both nodded in understanding. Illyria would help Wesley while Willow took care of Vail.

The demon turned to her and she held up a hand, holding him in place for a moment before she flung her arm out and sent him crashing into the wall. She could feel the buzz of the magic flowing through her but it didn’t scare her now that she knew there was more to magic than she had thought, a million different variations and specialties that she could tap into as needed. As long as she stayed away from the black and the dark, she’d be fine.

She dropped to the ground to dodge Vail’s fireball ( _ really _ , part of her chided.  _ A fully fledged wizard using a fireball? Get a better trick _ ) and slammed her palm onto the red and white checkered floor. “Shatter,” she commanded, splitting the tile into a million shards that hovered around her shoulders when she stood. They flew forward, one knocking over the IV stand and ripping the tube from Vail’s throat. Blood leaked onto the floor and Willow danced away, careful to avoid getting it on her shoes. She looked up in time to see the demon stagger to the ground, clutching at his collar as it darkened with wetness. Thinking quickly, she turned five of the shards into boomerangs, sending them rocketing towards the demon’s back and embedding themselves in his torso. One managed to pierce his heart and he dropped to the ground, dead.

“True wizard my ass,” Willow scoffed. “I can do better than that, old man.”

She turned around, opening her mouth to speak to Wesley, then promptly closed it. He was laying across Illyria’s knees, clutching his stomach and speaking softly to the demon who, at the moment, looked exactly like Fred. Willow turned away to give them a moment. She could tell this wasn’t something she should intrude on. Wiping away tears at her cheeks, she took advantage of the lull to regain her composure from the brief but intense use of magic that had left her feeling slightly lightheaded. She’d need to be at her full strength for the coming fight.

“He’s gone.”

Willow looked over her shoulder, turning fully when she saw Illyria back to normal. The demon stared at the floor, a conflicted look on her face. Willow was fairly certain this was the first time she’d seen any kind of emotion from the Old One. “That was kind of you,” she finally said. “To do that for him.”

“He was in pain,” she said. “I wished to ease it for him. He’s with her now”

“I thought Fred’s soul was destroyed when you-”

“They lied.” She looked up at Willow, emotions the witch had never seen before swimming in her large blue eyes. At that moment, she looked incredibly human. If she hadn’t thought it would end with her arms broken, Willow would have tried to hug the other woman. “They lied so Angel and Wesley would cease their attempts to get rid of me. If there was no Fred to save, there was no reason to continue trying to bring her back.”

“But she’s out there somewhere?” Willow asked hopefully.

“Fred’s soul is intact somewhere. I’d imagine they are both in one of many heaven dimensions. I….I hope they are together.” A smile tugged at the corner of the demon’s lips. “Hope. Such a human word. I’ve never hoped for anything before. It feels….good.”

“Yeah. It does. And I hope they’re together, too. They deserve it.” Illyria turned to leave and hesitated when her gaze landed on Wesley’s body. Slowly, she moved to his side and knelt, her hand hovering over his chest before dropping to her lap. Willow knelt beside her hesitantly. “Illyria?”

“I’m upset about his death,” she said. “I’ve never been upset about the death of anyone before. Not even when I found my army destroyed did I feel like this.” Illyria turned and Willow felt something in her soften towards her at the tears threatening to spill onto the demon’s cheeks. “Why do I feel like this?

Willow smiled softly. “Sounds like those pesky humans you hate so much are starting to rub off on you.”

Illyria surprised Willow by offering a small smile in response. “Perhaps that’s true. Maybe it’s not so bad.”

She stared down at the body, a confusing mix of emotions in her eyes. Willow felt a stab of sympathy for the demon. She couldn’t imagine how it must feel to go from shutting down all emotions to experiencing grief. The demon was probably totally and completely confused. 

Willow watched the glove on one of Illyria’s hands dissolve and reveal the pale, slightly blue stained skin underneath. She reached out, fingers trembling as they hovered over his face. “I don’t like seeing him like this. It is a human custom to close the eyes of the dead, yes?”

“Yeah. It is.”

Illyria nodded to herself, gently sweeping her fingertips over his eyes. She pulled her hand away like he’d shocked her, staring at Wesley in confusion and horror. “He’s colder than before.”

“That’s what happens when people die,” the witch said gently. “Illyria, we should go find Angel before they think we died or something.”

Illyria stood, eyes lingering on Wesley’s body for only a moment before she nodded and said, “This demon would not have been able to kill me. He was too weak.”

Willow sagged in relief. ‘God-King of the Primordium’ Illyria was back in business. “You said it, sister.”

Willow followed the demon out of the mansion and into the rain. Illyria didn’t speak as she took off running, climbing up onto the rooftop of the first alley they came across and sprinting towards their rendezvous point. With a little bit of magic, Willow managed to keep pace. The rain whipped across her face as she ran faster than she ever had in her entire left. Her high school gym teacher would have been proud of her. 

Illyria vanished from sight, reappearing on a roof below without breaking her stride. Willow swallowed down her fear as the ledge drew closer and it became clear she had no choice.

She leapt.


	20. The End Part Four-Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, a Dawn interlude in the midst of the action. Enjoy the shenanigans.

It had been too easy to convince Harmony that Angel had asked Dawn to take her shopping. 

“I thought we were going to the mall,” Harmony whined. “Why are we at Spike’s grody place?”

“It’s not that bad,” Dawn said, feeling oddly protective of the basement apartment. She’d been spending more and more days there (but never nights, at Buffy and Xander’s urging) and it was starting to feel like a second home, much like his crypt back in Sunnydale had been. “And we  _ are  _ going out. I just need to grab my wallet real quick. I left it in my other coat.” She unlocked the door, stepped through, and turned to Harmony. “You can come in.”

“You can’t invite me in. Only Spike can.”

“Sure I can. Buffy and I practically live here at this point. He said you should be all good with an invite from me.”

Harmony reached out slowly but didn’t hit the invisible barrier Dawn had seen quite a few vampires run into. She carefully hid her relief. It was the only part of the plan that had been sketchy, but there was no way they could tie up Harmony at the hotel without it seeming suspicious. Spike had assured her multiple times that it should be fine and that if it wasn’t, to just tie her up and throw her in the trunk of the Viper. Thank God it hadn’t come to that.

Harmony smiled at Dawn and walked through, reaching one hand back to close the door. The latch had barely clicked when Andrew hit the vampire on the back of the head with a mace Buffy had left for them. Harmony dropped like a stone. “Wow,” Dawn commented, staring down at the unconscious woman. “That’s one weak vamp.”

“Or, I’m one strong human.” Andrew tossed the weapon in one hand, fumbling the catch and sending it clattering to the ground with a loud clang. Dawn winced. “Okay, yeah. I think she’s a weak vamp.”

She shook her head. “Whatever. Did you get the rope? Just forget about the mace for the time being,” she added when he bent to pick up the weapon.

“Um, actually, I got a  _ few  _ things because I wasn’t sure what exactly you needed.” He grabbed a bag off of the couch and started pulling things out as he named them. “Rope, bungee cord, electrical cord, zip ties-”

“We’ll use the rope,” she said, stopping him before he could name every item in the bag. From the look of it, Harmony would wake up before they were halfway done. “Now help me get her onto the chair before she comes to.”

After much struggling and cursing (and one fall that Dawn made Andrew swear to never mention to anyone, especially Spike or her sister) they had maneuvered Harmony into the chair they had placed beside the bed. Andrew had tried to argue with her, but she was insistent that Harmony not be in the main area of the apartment since it would be too easy for her to run if she got free. Andrew had tied her feet together while Dawn had set to work knotting the rope around her wrists. She was certain that if Harmony had been human, her circulation would have been cut off completely.

“There,” Dawn said, tying off the last knot and stepping back to admire her handiwork. 

Harmony almost looked human except for her neck, which bent at what looked like an incredibly uncomfortable angle, and her chest, which didn’t rise and fall. Dawn frowned. It occurred to her then that she didn’t think she’d ever seen Angel breathe either, yet she knew for a fact that Spike did. Buffy had mentioned once to her that he did it while he slept and she’d seen firsthand how winded he could get in a fight. Maybe one day she’d figure out why he was so different from other vampires. What made him act more human than most, even without a soul. After all, she’d never seen any vampire but him eat human food, either.

“Kind of freaky, isn’t it?” Andrew said from behind her. “She looks super dead.”

“She  _ is  _ super dead,” Dawn replied. She fought against a shiver as it attempted to creep down her back. She didn’t like thinking about how dead vampires were, especially when the one in her life always seemed so lively. She had told him once that he existed as a big middle finger to the universe and he’d laughed, tipped his beer her way in a toast, and drained the entire bottle in one swig. What dead man would do something like that? It was such a human gesture and having Harmony, a demon who was the same but different, right in front of her was-

_ Demon _ .

“Az,” Dawn blurted out.

Andrew tilted his head. “Az?”

“You should go find Az. I’ll watch over the blonde bimbo.” Andrew shot her a puzzled look and she shrugged one shoulder. “What? That’s what Spike calls her. And it’s fun to say.” She shook her head. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Go find Az. I’ll be fine with her.”

Andrew nodded and scurried out the door, shooting her a thumbs up before it closed behind him. With an eye roll, Dawn went to investigate the blood situation in the fridge. She imagined Harmony would be insufferable if she didn’t have anything to eat when she woke up. Well, more insufferable than normal. Thankfully, Spike was fully stocked.

She was in the middle of microwaving a mug of the stuff when Harmony groaned in the other room.

“Hello?” the vampire called out. “ _ Hello _ ? Dawn? Are you here?”

Dawn rolled her eyes again, crossing her arms as she stood just out of reach of the bound girl. She doubted Harmony would be pulling a Houdini anytime soon, but Dawn figured it was better to be safe than sorry.“What do you want?”

“You knocked me out!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry,” the Slayer’s sister said with a shrug. “Consider this payback for that time you tried to  _ kill me _ .”

“Well I didn’t. This is  _ so _ unfair!” The vampire struggled in her bonds, but gave up once it became clear they weren’t going to loosen. “Wow. These are some tight ropes.”

“We had to have Spike tied up like this for a little while. Believe me, I know how to restrain a vampire.”

“You can’t do this,” Harmony cried, leaning forward in her bindings. “I’m supposed to be keeping Marcus busy! Angel told me to. He’s going to be  _ very  _ upset with you two.”

“Funny. Angel told  _ us  _ to keep you away from Hamilton so you wouldn’t get involved in the fight.” Dawn retrieved the mug of warm blood from the microwave and held it out to Harmony. “Drink.”

“Angel didn’t want me to get hurt?”

“Angel knows you sold him out,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I think his exact words were something along the lines of ‘loyalty isn’t high on her list of priorities’. Good thing it wasn’t real information you gave to Marcus.” 

“Wasn’t real information? What do you mean?” Harmony demanded. “Angel told me he was going to take out Archduke Sebassis.”

“And he is,” Dawn said.  _ Just not personally, _ she mentally finished. Harmony heaved a sigh. Dawn rolled her eyes for a third time. Could she damage her eyes if she kept it up? She hoped not seeing as it wasn’t likely to stop. How had Spike managed to keep Harmony quiet all the times they were together? Did he drown her out with his own chatter? Maybe he…. _ Nope _ , she thought forcefully, shoving the image of Spike and Harmony in his bed under the crypt from her mind.  _ Don’t want to think about that. See and hear it enough with my sister. _ “Do you want this blood or not?” she snapped. “It’s getting cold.”

“Fine,” the vampire spat. “Give me the blood. Then we’ll talk about getting me untied.”

Dawn laughed as she sat on the edge of the bed and extended the mug to the vampire. She bent to reach the straw and started sucking on the plastic. “I faced a feral, vamped out Spike when he was being controlled by the First, I was kidnapped by a hell god in the middle of pulling a Jekyll and Hyde, and I watched my street get completely destroyed because some demons heard Buffy had died. What are  _ you  _ going to do that could  _ possibly  _ be more terrifying than all of that?”

Harmony didn’t answer, instead focusing on drinking down all the blood in the cup. Once it was empty, Dawn put it on the nightstand. “Look, I just wanted Angel to pay attention to me,” she finally said. “He never has any confidence in me and he keeps me out of the loop all the time. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know what you mean,” Dawn muttered, hating herself for that admission. She didn’t want to have anything in common with Harmony Kendall, but she could understand where the vampire was coming from. Dawn hadn’t betrayed Buffy to the Trio, but she  _ had _ stooped to stealing in a desperate attempt to get whatever attention she could. When Glory was in Sunnydale, everyone had known that Dawn was the Key except for her and Spike. She was well versed in wanting to be noticed and being kept in the dark about important things.

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“So….you would have done the same thing?”

Dawn recoiled. “No way! Are you insane? I would have fought with him, forced him to see how important I can be. It’s what I did with Buffy. I fought every step of the way when she insisted on treating me like a little kid and eventually she had to see that I wasn’t anymore.”

“So why aren’t you fighting now?”

“Because Andrew and I were stuck with babysitting duty,” she said dryly. “Everyone else gets to go stop the end of the world and we have to watch a useless vampire. Yay us.”

Harmony bit her lip. “You really think Angel would notice if I went and fought with him?”

She rolled her eyes for an entirely different reason. “Duh.”

The vampire nodded. “Okay. Untie me. I want to help you guys fight.”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“Um….You can hit me in the head again if I try to bite you?” she offered. Dawn stood, retrieved the mace from where Andrew had left it on the floor, grabbed a knife from the kitchen, and returned. She started with Harmony’s feet, cutting through the bindings and preparing to dance away from a kick that never came. She moved onto Harmony’s upper body and, much to Dawn’s relief, all the vampire did was rub at her wrists and stand. “Okay! So….let’s go save the day? Sorry, I’ve only been the good guy once and that was, like, an eternity ago.”

“The camel?”

“Graduation.”

“Oh.”

Dawn led Harmony back into the living room and grabbed her jacket from the coat rack just as the front door opened and Andrew entered. He immediately froze in place, looking between the two women. “Dawn? What’s going on?”

She went to grab one of the swords the Scoobies had left behind in case Harmony was a problem. “We’re going to fight. Are you coming?”

He came up behind her and took the sword from her hands. “I would follow you into any battle.”

Their gazes met for one intense moment, determined and strong. Dawn broke it by taking the sword back. “That was cool and all, but I like this sword.”

“Oh, sorry.” He reached past her and grabbed his own. “Harmony? Do you want a weapon?”

“Don’t need one,” she said. “I am the weapon.”

“Let’s go.” Dawn led them out of the apartment building and into the rain. She squinted, looking around in the darkness. The street was strangely deserted, as if the city knew something major was about to go down. She shivered as a chill ran down her back. Somehow, Los Angeles had turned into Sunnydale and they hadn’t even noticed.

“Oh, come on,” Harmony said, stomping one heeled foot in a puddle and splashing the hem of her pink skirt. Not that it mattered. They were all thoroughly drenched. “My makeup is going to be ruined!”

Dawn rolled her eyes - fifth time’s the charm! - and started down the street to the alley where, she hoped, her sister and friends would be waiting for them. Hopefully Buffy wouldn’t kill them for showing up when they were supposed to stay in the apartment. If she made it into an issue, Dawn could easily point out that they were probably safer on the streets fighting than in an apartment building that could collapse. Besides, Dawn was the Slayer’s sister. Not  _ a _ Slayer,  _ the _ Slayer. Buffy would always be  _ the _ Slayer to her.

And just like the Slayer, Dawn would stare the armies of hell in the eye until they blinked.


	21. The End Part Five-Spike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My absolute favorite of all the fights, Spike and Buffy vs the Fell Brethren….

Spike and Buffy stood outside the lair of the Fell Brethren and inspected the opening yawning in front of them. The Slayer tapped the axe end of the scythe in her hand against the ground in a steady rhythm. It was incredibly irritating, that sound, but he could feel her heart pounding in her chest so he kept his mouth shut. She was gathering her strength, trying to muster the nerve to walk inside.

He heard a clanging and turned to look at her only to find her arms suddenly around his neck and her lips on his in a desperate, passionate kiss. He dropped his sword to wrap his arms around her, pulling her against him with a soft groan until there wasn’t any part of her that wasn’t touching him. When she finally broke away for air, still gripping his shoulders, he looked into her eyes and saw her searching his. There was a franticness in the way she was looking at him and he knew exactly how she was feeling. They’d lost each other too many times. If this was all they had left….

“Buffy-”

“I love your eyes,” she blurted out. “I always have. I think they’re beautiful.”

He blinked at her, the wheels of his mind spinning in the metaphorical mud. “We’re about to go into a fight we may not survive and you decided to tell me you like my eyes?”

She nodded once, the motion firm and certain. “Yes. Because I do. And I love your hair when it’s wet and gets all curly and I can see the roots. I love the way you fight as if you were dancing. I love your accent and your honesty and the way you wear your heart on your sleeve. I love your cocky attitude and your innuendos. I love the way I fit against you like we were made for each other. I love the way you treat Dawn as if she was your own little sister because at this point she kind of is and I love that, too. I love the way you always get back up when you get knocked down. Even if you’re bruised and bloody and beaten you always get back up. I love everything about you, Spike. I….I lo-”

He kissed her again, cutting off her declaration. “Don’t say it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it sounds an awful lot like you don’t think we’re both getting out of this.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “And I can’t have you thinking like that. It’ll make you sloppy in there and besides, I made you a promise, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“I always keep my promises. You should know that by now.”

“I do. But Spike-”

He interrupted her with a kiss for a second time. “You can’t say it. Not yet.” His voice came out much more ragged than he’d intended, his desperation bleeding into his words. He couldn’t hear her say it like this. Not after the first time. “You can say it when the rain is pouring down around us and washing the blood off our skin. You can say it when the darkness has blotted out the sun so we can bring it out again. You can say it when the armies of hell are dead at our feet and there’s nothing left but the silence after a battle. But you  _ cannot  _ say it now when we’re about to go in and fight because it will feel too much like a goodbye.” Tears made her eyes shine as he cupped her face in his hands. “And I’m not ready to say goodbye to you again, love. Not yet. Not ever.”

She started crying and he gently wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. “William,” she whispered, covering one of his hands with her own.

“Buffy.”

“We’re getting out of this.”

“We are.”

“Promise me.”

He kissed her one last time. “I promise.”

Buffy nodded, bent down, and picked up her scythe. She looked absolutely radiant, his Slayer. Like a warrior pulled from legend. “Good.” She twirled the scythe and shot him that brilliant smile he had become well acquainted with over the years. “Now let’s go save a baby.”

Spike followed Buffy into the lair as they crept through the tunnels as quietly as they could, their footfalls practically silent as they made their way through the many red halls in the labyrinth that was the lair. He could feel her heartbeat pounding and had to remind himself more than once that A, she couldn’t control it and B, the Fell Brethren couldn’t hear it the way he could.

Voices echoed ahead of them and he exchanged a glance with Buffy, disappearing into the closest side hall and hiding in the darkness. They could both tell there were two walking towards them and, moving as one, they leapt out and dragged the two demons into their side hall, clapping their hands over their mouths. Spike didn’t waste any time, placing his hands in position and snapping the demon’s neck. A second soft crack followed his and he glanced over to see Buffy lowering her demon to the ground and taking the cloak off the body. He followed suit, wrinkling his nose as he pulled it over his all black ensemble.

“Hey, look at this,” she whispered, examining the gray cloak lined in a soft black material. “This is kind of nice. I’d totally use something like this in December over in England.”

He rolled his eyes, earning a muffled giggle as he flicked the hood up and swept into the hall, Buffy at his heels. “Any idea where the baby is?”

“No clue,” she said, all business once again. Her ability to switch from normal young woman to full on Slayer never ceased to amaze him. She was one hell of a woman, his girl. “Can you sniff it out? There should only be two humans in here and one of them’s me.”

“You aren’t exactly human, pet.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Want me to try and smell the babe? I can try.” They didn’t stop moving as he did his best to catch a whiff of human blood. He could clearly smell Buffy, could feel her Slayer’s blood thrumming through her veins. He tried to move out, sense beyond the girl at his side, but he couldn’t smell anything but her and the demons. After a few minutes, he shook his head. “Got nothing. You and the demons are too potent. I can’t find the brat. Should we split up and-”

“No,” she said sharply. “No way. There’s only two of us and we have a whole cult to kill. And even if we didn’t, splitting up is always a terrible idea. Have you ever seen a horror movie?”

He raised an eyebrow even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “What do you call this whole plan of yours then?”

“The plan is to divide and conquer.”

“Splitting up with a pretty name is still-” He cut off abruptly at the sound of demons approaching, snapping his mouth shut. Once the trio of demons were directly beside them, they struck. Spike broke another demon’s neck, clapping his hand over the mouth of the one Buffy wasn’t beheading before it could call for help. Using her momentum from her first kill, she swung around and lopped off the head of the demon in Spike’s arms. He leaned back, avoiding the trajectory of her scythe.“Oi! Watch the head.”

“Sorry!”

He took Buffy by the hand and raced through the halls. “They’ll know we’re here. We’ve gotta find the kid before they get it out of here.”

“Do we know if it’s a boy or a girl? I feel weird calling a baby an ‘it’.”

“Haven’t a clue.”

“Maybe we can ask the next cult member we come across. ‘Oh hello Mister demon. I would be ever so appreciative if you could tell us the gender of the child you plan to kill’.”

“Hilarious,” he said dryly, the hood of his stolen cloak hiding his grin. Even when running for their lives she managed to crack jokes. She really was the perfect woman for him. “You’re a comedic genius.”

“I’m glad someone other than me thinks so.” Shouts erupted behind them and they both increased their speed. “Guess they found the bodies. What should we do?”

“How does running sound?”

“Good. Running sounds very good.”

They continued their sprint, listening for any indication of the baby’s location. Spike sniffed the air every few halls, hoping to catch the faintest trace of the child’s scent as they became hopelessly lost avoiding the Fell Brethren searching for them. He could smell the panic rolling off of Buffy and something like wood and smoke that he associated with the cultists. Underneath it all was something else, something that smelled like innocence and fresh blood.

He stopped in the middle of the hall, nearly making Buffy fall when she tried to continue forward. “I’ve got it.”

She whirled around to face him. “What? Got what? What did you get?”

“The baby. I’ve got it’s scent.” 

“Well don’t just stand there! Move!”

Spike led them back through the maze of halls until they exploded into a small room set up like a nursery. A white bassinet in the center of the floor housed a small infant in blue footed pajamas, the beginnings of wisps of dark hair on the child’s head. Buffy scooped down and picked the baby up, cradling it in her arms and cocking her head as she looked down into its face. Spike hovered over her shoulder, inspecting the baby as it blinked owlishly up at them. “What do we do now?”

“Kill the rest of the cultists, bring the baby back to its mother, meet up with everyone else. Easy peasy,” she added with a smile aimed at him.

“Is that the Holy Vessel?” 

Spike sighed. “You had to say it, didn’t you?”

They turned to find a group of the demons standing in the doorway and blocking their exit. “How dare you sully the Vessel with your touch. Place him back in the bassinet.”

Buffy shot Spike a look and shrugged one shoulder. “Guess it’s a he.”

Simultaneously, they removed the cloaks and drew their weapons. “Got the kid, love?”

“Well, I was going to put him back in the bassinet, but now I’m feeling petty. So yeah, I’ve got him.”

Spike moved with preternatural speed, taking the head off one of the demons in one clean sweep only to find himself in a sword fight with one of the other brothers. The clanging echoed in the nursery as he dodged the blade aimed at his neck. It seemed these demons had also heard Buffy’s universal rule to all of the Scoobies before they took off.  _ Beheadings pretty much always work. I’ve never seen it fail. _

“Bugger this,” he spat. With a snarl, he threw his sword aside and shifted into his vampire guise, startling the demon in front of him. Not giving it the chance to react, he lunged forward and ripped out its throat. The burst of energy he gained from the thrill of the kill had him tackling the next demon to come against him. They struggled on the floor, trading blows for only a few moments before Spike ended up on top of it and well within reach of his sword. He grabbed it by the blade, flipped it with one hand, and plunged it through the heart of the demon squirming underneath him. Spike hopped to his feet, ripping the sword from the demon’s chest and licking the emerald blood off his lips.

“Oh, gross, Spike,” Buffy said when she caught sight of him.

He grinned at her, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Sorry, love. Can’t help myself.” He could feel his adrenaline pumping at the thrill of a good fight, the sensation of Buffy’s blood rushing at his side only aiding in his force as he went for one of the brothers preparing to sneak up on Buffy from behind. She stabbed hers in the stomach and turned in time to see him sink his fangs in the demon's neck and pull, dropping the body to the ground. He swallowed down the blood, shaking his head in disgust as it went down. It was by no means the worst he’d ever tasted, but it wasn’t the best, either. Still, he’d need whatever he could get. Blood, no matter where it came from, restored his strength. 

Buffy wrinkled her nose in distaste, though whether it was from him or the death around them, he wasn't sure. “I think that was the last of the ones here,” she said, looking around at the pile of bodies. 

Spike shifted back to his normal human face, not sensing any more approaching demons. Buffy's shoulders sagged with relief when she noticed. “How’re you holding up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

They each took a moment to inspect each other’s injuries. She had a nasty looking cut on her forehead and her shirt was torn in a few places, but otherwise she seemed fine. When he was satisfied that she was as well off as could be expected after a fight, he wiped at his chin, looking down at the back of his hand curiously. Red and green blood was mixing together in a terrible tie dye.

She reached out with her free hand and brushed her fingers over his knuckles. “You’re bleeding.”

He shrugged. “I’ll heal.”

Buffy nodded and dropped his hand. “We've gotta get out of here. Switch?” she asked.

“I’ve got you, pet.” They picked up their preferred weapons. He didn’t want to go anywhere near her scythe. Before leaving the nursery, she passed him the baby. “You’re lucky I’m on a diet.”

“You did not just admit that you want to eat a baby.”

“Was a joke, Slayer. Believe it or not, you’re not the only one who-”

“Incoming!”

They cut through every demon they came across, Spike primarily staying on the defensive while Buffy moved like a whirlwind through their ranks. She didn’t waste time with snarky comments or flashy moves, working methodically through the Fell Brethren until they reached the entrance once again. 

“Sweep to make sure there aren’t stragglers?” she asked.

“Let’s go.”

“Want to switch?”

“God, yes.”

One last sweep through the lair revealed only a handful of remaining demons in hiding. Between the two of them they managed to dispose of all of them, every demon meeting their end from Buffy’s scythe, Spike’s fangs, or a combination of fists and blades. Satisfied they’d killed them all, the duo ran out into the night air. “Remind me not to get on your bad side,” Spike said, sheathing his sword at his waist. Buffy mimicked him, placing her hands on her hips as she examined him for any additional injuries. Hair plastered to her face with sweat, chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath, and the scent of her blood covering her, she was absolutely stunning. “What’s next?”

“The mom,” she said, beginning to walk down the street. He jogged to catch up with her. “We have to bring the kid to the mom, then meet everyone at the alley.”

It only took them a few minutes of walking to reach the apartment of the boy’s mother. A short blonde woman opened the door, looking them up and down. Spike could only imagine what she must be thinking as she stared at the bloody, sweaty strangers with weapons at their waists and her baby in their arms. “Who are you?”

“We’re with Wolfram and Hart,” Buffy said, then frowned. “Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“It doesn't matter. The Fell Brethren are dead and we have your kid. So, uh, here you go.” She took the baby from Spike and held him out to his mother. “One not dead baby, coming right up.”

She took the child, inspecting his face with tears in her eyes before looking up at them. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Buffy smiled. “Just doing our job.”

The door closed and they walked hand in hand back out into Los Angeles. It had started raining while they were inside, the cold water coming down in buckets and immediately soaking them through. Buffy closed her eyes and raised her face to the sky, letting the water run down her skin and wash the blood from her gashes. “Did you know this would happen?” she asked after a moment.

His brow furrowed. “What are you on about?”

“You said I could say it once the rain was coming down and washing the blood away. Isn’t that what’s happening?”

He looked up at the sky, squinting as raindrops fell into his eyes and blurred his vision. “Huh. I guess it is. Wonder what that means.” They allowed themselves a moment to stand like that, fingers laced together and faces raised to the sky. “Are you ready?” he asked her.

“I never am,” she said, looking over at him. “But that doesn’t seem to stop the apocalypse from coming anyway.”

“No. I guess it doesn’t.”

“What about you? Are you ready?”

He sighed. “Can’t say I am. I love a fight as much as any vamp but knowing I could leave or lose you again is making it hard to get excited. At least I’m not wearing any bloody jewelry this time. No souls burning me up from the inside.”

She chuckled, a light in the darkness creeping steadily closer.

They couldn’t hesitate any longer. Hands still interlocked and with nothing left to do, they ran.


	22. The End Part Six-Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done! Here's Faith, Gunn, and Robin vs Helen Brucker

Faith paced in front of the hotel room door and double checked she had equipped all of her weapons. Stake in boot? Check. Knife at waist? Check. Fancy arm stake things Angel had given her and Robin? Check on the left and on the right. She wished she had more weapons to check just for something to do. For reasons she couldn’t pinpoint she was agitated worse than she’d ever been before a fight. Something about tonight felt important. Final. Like everything was building to this.

_ Maybe I’m going to die. _

The thought didn’t scare her much as she thought it should have. Was this how Buffy had been feeling before she went to fight the Master? Was this what Robin’s mother felt when Spike had her pinned on that train? Was this what the Potentials had been thinking as they walked into the mouth of hell itself?

Faith decided that, even though she’d rather not go at all, this was one hell of a way to do it if she had to. Right up there with leaping off a tower to close a portal to a hell dimension and taking down an entire city with the focused power of a soul.

Robin appeared from the bedroom, fastening his own stake mechanism to his arm.“We’re meeting Gunn outside the office in fifteen minutes,” he said. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Great. Then I guess we’d better start walking.”

She had expected him to do some sort of big romantic something before they left, but she was grateful he hadn’t. He knew her better than anyone she’d ever met and, with enough force to stop her in the hotel hallway, she realized she didn’t  _ want  _ him to die because she wanted more time with him. Following that revelation was the thought that, despite not being afraid of the prospect that she might die, she didn’t  _ want  _ to die for the same reason. For the first time, she had a future to fight for. Not the broad and vague ‘future of the world’ kind of future, but a personal one that she could picture. One with lacy lingerie, a wedding band, and a house in Cleveland big enough to accommodate them and, she couldn’t believe she was thinking this, maybe a kid or two. 

She was considering having kids. Robin’s kids. She’d never thought that would be in the cards for her, but maybe that was just another thing Robin was going to prove her wrong about.

This future was within reach. They just had to not die.

They left the hotel room and opted for the stairs rather than waiting for an elevator no doubt filled with people who’d give them strange looks or worse, ask questions. Faith ran down the stairs, occasionally jumping a few steps to reach the next landing faster. Every few floors she’d look back, but he was always right behind her. It reminded her vaguely of something she’d heard before she quit school, but she couldn’t remember any details except the phrase  _ don’t look back _ . An ominous warning but damn good advice as far as she was concerned.

They ran out the front doors and, despite everything screaming at her not to, Faith turned and grabbed Robin’s shirt, pulling him down to her for a long kiss in which she tried to put every complicated emotion she couldn’t express through words into. When she shoved him off, he quirked a smile at her. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that?”

“I love you,” she blurted out. “Okay? I love you and I wanted to kiss you before we go out there. I had a conversation with B not too long ago and I realized I don’t say it enough. So I’m saying it now. I love you.”

He kissed her again, much more gentle than she had been. He was always more gentle than she was, tempering her fiery spirit with his cool calm. It was exactly the kind of thing she never knew she needed. “What was that for?”

He smiled. “Luck.”

\----------------------------------------------

“Glad you two could make it,” Gunn greeted as they approached. Peeking over his shoulder, Faith could make out the head of an axe sheathed at his back. Peering through the windows revealed faded blue walls under fluorescent lights and red, white, and blue plastered onto every available surface; refrigerator, desks, walls. Faith couldn’t help but scoff.  _ The patriotism is strong with this one _ , she thought with an eye roll. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show.”

“And miss a fight?” Faith asked. “Come on, Gunn, I think by now you know better than that. So hit me. What’s the plan?”

Gunn kicked open the door and stormed in.

Robin shrugged one shoulder. “That’s a plan, I guess. Not how I would have done it but-”

“Robin?” Faith interrupted.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and fight.”

They followed Gunn inside just in time to see him throw his axe and hit the middle aged blonde woman behind the largest desk directly between the eyes. She fell sideways out of her chair and collapsed to the ground out of sight and the vampires working in the surrounding area shot to their feet. Faith didn’t wait for them to strike first, throwing herself at the closest one and sending him stumbling backwards from the force of her punch. She let out a whoop of excitement as she threw herself into the fray, pummeling the vampire back until she’d finally had enough and jabbed a stake through his heart.

“Slayer,” a female voice hissed behind her. 

“Yeah. What of it?” Faith asked, cocking an eyebrow. She moved before the woman could respond, sending her flying into the wall with the force of her roundhouse kick and leaving her vulnerable for Robin to turn her to dust. He winked at her before vanishing back into the thick of the fight.

She wasn’t completely aware of how she was killing vamps, only that she was. Dust was on her coat, on her hands, in her lungs. She knew her leg was smarting from a kick one of the vamps had stopped by grabbing her foot and yanking her to the ground. She knew her back was aching from the vampire that had jumped on her, forcing her into a somersault to get him to let go. She knew her knuckles were bleeding and there was blood in her mouth from where her lip had been split. She was cut and battered and bruised and she had never felt more alive.

Faith hacked and stabbed her way through the vampires, relishing in the feeling of the fight. It felt like it’d been an eternity since she had a good slay and this was everything she could have hoped for; chaotic and loud while she sweat and bled and gasped for breath. It was brutal and bloody. She loved every minute of it.

Every minute until she heard a cry of pain.

She staked the vamp in front of her and spun around, looking for the source of the sound. Gunn was handling the last of the vampires and Robin was leaning against what was left of one of the desks. She rushed over, helping lower him to the ground so he was splayed across her bent knees as she tucked her feet under herself. “Where are you hurt?” she asked. She ran her eyes over him but couldn’t find the source of the bleeding. There was so much blood. Too much. She hadn’t realized how much of the stuff a person could have in them.

“Faith-” He broke off with a cough and she ripped open his shirt to try and find the wound. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she looked down at the mess of mangled skin and deep ruby red that was his chest. She touched it gently and he cried out in pain, causing her to yank her hand back. She stared down at it in horror. There was so much blood. It was drenching his shirt, soaking her pants, coating her hands.

“Oh my God,” she said. “You….What happened?”

“Faith.” His hand fumbled for hers and she intertwined their fingers without fully realizing what she was doing. Her mind was spinning and she was fighting to stay in the moment while she screamed at herself that he was dying, that she couldn’t save him, that everything good she touched was bound to be destroyed eventually. “Did we make it?”

She couldn’t help the strangled sound she made, blinking back the tears in her eyes. This couldn’t be happening. “We made it,” she said, squeezing his hand tightly. “We won.”

“Good,” he said with a smile. “Good.”

“I love you,” she whispered. “Did I ever tell you that?”

“Yeah. You did.”

“Good. Because I do.”

“I love you, too.”

Slowly so as not to cause him any more pain, Faith bent over at her waist and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. When she pulled back, his eyes were staring up at her blankly. Everything froze. Sure, she’d watched people die before. But not like this. Never like this and never someone who meant so much. Not even her Watcher’s death has left her this gutted.

“Faith?” Gunn said from behind her. “The place is empty. We’ve gotta go.”

She slowly turned and looked up at Gunn. “I think I’m going to be sick,” she whispered. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to her feet, leaving her to stumble a few steps away and collapse to the floor, vomiting into one of the few potted plants still in one piece. Gunn stepped away but all she wanted was for him to come closer. To hold her hair or rub circles on her back. Any of the things Robin would have done.

“Why,” she started, then stopped as her voice broke. She felt something moving down her cheek and she reached up, wiping away a tear. “Why is this happening? Why do I feel so….numb?”

“Faith, we really don’t have time for this.”

“Robin is dead,” she said as though he hadn’t spoken. “And it feels like I’m dying too. Why? Why do I feel like this?” She stood, searching Gunn’s face for answers and finding none. “This has never happened before. This isn’t me, this isn’t who I am. I’m the tough girl, I’m the one the boys want to dance with at the club, I’m the girl everyone says is rough around the edges. I’m a Slayer. I’m  _ bad _ , Charles, and he made me feel like I was good. He made me believe that Angel, and Buffy, and all her little Scooby friends were right to believe in me.”

“You’re not a bad person, Faith.”

“I thought so, too,” she said. “But the universe wouldn’t be punishing me like this if I was….” She swallowed, letting out a hiccuping breath as the tears finally fell in earnest. “God, why do I feel like this?”

“Because you loved him,” Gunn said. “At the risk of sounding insensitive, have you never lost someone you cared about before?”

“Of course I have. Can’t be a Slayer without a little loss in your life.” She sniffed, remembering the two other men who had died because they dared to become involved with her. Her gaze landed on Robin, lying motionless on the floor. “But I didn’t care about any of them nearly as much. I loved him.”

Faith crossed the room and knelt beside Robin. With a light touch she closed his eyes, taking a moment to memorize his features before she had to abandon his body. He wouldn’t even get a funeral. 

Gunn grunted and she acted on instinct. She stood, grabbed the vamp, and rammed her stake into his chest with enough force she felt it pierce his back. When the dust settled, she saw Gunn clutching his stomach with the hand not holding an axe. Her stomach dropped. “Gunn-”

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “We’ve gotta go meet Angel, remember?”

She swiped at her tears, realizing after she’d done it that she still had Robin’s blood on her hands. She held her head high, refusing to look at the body as she walked by. She couldn’t. If she did, she’d never be able to walk away.

The rain soaked her the moment she walked out and she held out her hands palm up, watching as the blood vanished, revealing her skin underneath. Once her hands were clean, she ran them down her face to wipe away the remaining blood and tears drying on her cheeks. Maybe if she waited long enough, it could clean away the wounds as though the fight had never happened. “Faith?”

“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> Special thanks to (you guessed it) my wonderful beta reader Anya_Mae for reading through this chapter multiple times despite knowing she'd cry every time after the first. I'm sending all my love your way! <3


	23. The End Part Seven-Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I’ve been pretty bad about mentioning when lines have been borrowed from past episodes up to this point, but I feel the need to say that a lot of this chapter is going to seem familiar. Without further ado, here’s the final of the mini fights. Angel vs Marcus Hamilton….

Angel walked through his suite above Wolfram and Hart, opened the wooden box, and took out the curved knife to examine it. It was a beautiful knife and one he had no intentions of using. He doubted it would work against Marcus. The man was a machine, though not literally, as Spike and Illyria assured him repeatedly.

Despite the office allegedly being empty, he could smell someone on the other side of the door, human and yet not. Angel smiled. Showtime. “Hamilton,” he greeted amicably. “Nice of you to stop by. Did you have a good chat with Harmony this morning?”

Hands gripped his shoulders and spun him around, deftly knocking the blade from his hand and sending him flying out the window, through the glass ceiling of the lobby, and slamming onto the wooden floor on his stomach. Pain exploded through his bones and he clambered to his feet, leaning on the wall of Harmony’s desk as he attempted to steady himself before Hamilton found him again. Spitting out blood, Angel wondered absently if that was what Spike had felt when he was thrown off Glory’s tower. From the way the other vampire told the story, the pain was excruciating, and if it was anything like what Angel was feeling, he was inclined to agree. Parts of his body he didn’t even know  _ could _ feel sore were already begging him to stop moving.

Marcus stepped calmly through Angel’s office doors, his brown hair still perfectly styled and his blue suit wrinkle free. With a sudden burst of strength, Angel punched the other man in the stomach. His knuckles erupted with fire and he gasped, recoiling his hand. It felt like he was hitting concrete. “Did that hurt at all?”

Hamilton shrugged, pursing his lips. “Little bit.” His arm shot out, quick as a viper, and his hand wrapped around Angel’s throat. Over two hundred years and he still hadn’t figured out why people did that. It wasn’t like he needed to breathe.

The hand disappeared and the ground dropped away from beneath him.  _ Oh _ , he thought as he collided with a pillar and was dragged up again by the lapels of his coat.  _ That’s why they do that. Noted. _ “You know what, Angel? I’ve learned a lot about you since I was dispatched to your firm. Do you want to know what I see?”

“Not particularly, but I bet you’re going to tell me anyways.”

Angel flew into the Wolfram and Hart sign on the second floor, crashing to the ground of the balcony with a groan. “Cute.” Hamilton continued his incessant monologuing, taking his time walking up the stairs. “I see a monster unable to accept that he’ll never be a man. You’re a fraud, Angel. You're gutter trash, and that's where you should have stayed, drinking and whoring your way through an unremarkable life. But the fates stepped in and made you a vampire, with a soul, no less. A champion. A hero of the people. And yet, you still managed to fail everyone around you.”

Angel closed his eyes as the truth washed over him, uninvited and entirely unwelcome. Hamilton was right. He had failed everyone. Cordelia and Fred had died because they dared to befriend him, he’d destroyed Wesley by destroying the love of the man’s life, and he’d completely and utterly demolished the girl he himself had once claimed to love. 

_ Buffy. _ God, if he’d failed anyone more than the others, it was Buffy. He’d loved her and selfishly dragged her into his world without warning her of the dangers. Sure, she already had a toe in the deep end, but he had taken her by the hand and pulled her under without giving her time to back away and she’d let him because she didn’t know any better. He didn’t think he’d ever fully forgive himself for the crimes he committed in Sunnydale while he was soulless and every barb she’d thrown since she arrived in L.A. had been well deserved. Sometimes he’d lay in bed when sleep wouldn’t come and think about her stinging words, wondering if she truly meant them. 

_ I’m not here for you, Angel. _

After all, she’d loved him once. 

_ How do you like your cookie dough, Angel? _

Could that really vanish so suddenly, like it had never happened at all? 

_ You’re becoming more like Angelus every day. _

Did she still blame him the way he blamed himself? Did she hate what he had become the way he did?

_ What gives you the right to continue meddling in my life years after  _ you  _ broke up with  _ me _? _

He didn’t deserve her. That was what it came down to in the end. He didn’t deserve her. He’d never deserved her. He’d never deserved what she stood for.

_ I never said I’d come for you. I’m in love with Spike. I was then and I am now. _

He took it back. He had let Buffy down time and time again but he couldn’t say she was the person he’d hurt the most when, somewhere in the city, Spike was existing as a walking exhibit of how badly he could fail someone. It was hard to say which of them he’d hurt more, but he was inclined to say it was the vampire. He had broken Buffy’s heart, but it had healed. He’d broken Spike down to nothing and only now, a hundred years later, was the other man coming back from it.

So Angel took back his previous statement. Though it was a close call, Buffy wasn’t the person he’d failed the most; Spike was. Spike, who he had killed twice by association. Spike, who he had thought of as his protegee. Spike, who’s spirit he had crushed by taking Drusilla from him like she was a toy to break. Spike, who he had desperately tried to turn into a mirror. Spike, who he had fought tooth and nail to convince was unloveable. Spike, who he had turned into a monster.

Spike, who looked his tormentor in the eye and told him he deserved better.

_ You deserve the chance to grow old with her. And if not her, someone else. You’ve spent too long tangled up with psycho vampires and batshit Slayers. _

_ You really believe that I deserve to be happy? _

_ Yeah. I really do. But I’m not the one that needs to believe it, Liam. _

He hadn’t been aware that Spike had known his real name but, as always seemed to be the case with Spike, it was exactly what Angel needed to hear at that moment. Like his grandchild had told him, he was equal parts monster and man. As Illyria liked to point out, they were half-breeds. The mutts of the demon world. In that moment, Spike had reminded him that his human half deserved to receive the same attention his demon half did. Angel just hadn’t realized he’d been neglecting it.

Out of everyone he’d ever wronged - every human, demon, vampire, werewolf, god, Old One, and everything else in between - the one he’d wronged the worst seemed to have faith in him. And if one person had faith in him, even if it was his infuriating mess of a grandchild and especially if it was the man he’d so thoroughly ruined, he could convince himself Hamilton’s words weren’t true. He hadn’t failed because they were fighting with him. They were letting him fight beside them.

And that said more than their words ever could.

Angel was halfway to his feet when Hamilton, again, lifted him by the lapels of his coat. He would need a new one when all of this was over. It was a miracle Hamilton hadn’t ripped it. “Did you really think you could kill Archduke Sebassis?” he asked, shaking his head as though he was speaking to a child.

Angel smirked as best as he could with his body sore and bloodied. “No,” he said, voice sounding weak and raspy to his own ears. “But I think a team of Slayers can. I figured you were the one I needed to be alone with.”

“Why? So I could kill you?”

Angel tilted his head from side to side. “Well, I thought the fight would be going a little better.”

“Oh.”

Hamilton flung Angel off the balcony and sent him crashing to the floor. Ears ringing and borrowed blood leaking from his wounds, the vampire got to his feet and blocked the punch Marcus was preparing to throw. He raised an eyebrow in a silent, cocky challenge that Spike would have been proud of. 

As they danced around the destroyed lobby in a flurry of blows, Angel repeated the names of those he had failed.  _ Wesley and Fred. Lorne. Gunn. Giles and Jenny Calendar. Cordelia. Drusilla. Buffy. Spike. _

Angel landed a punch to the other man’s chest, wincing at the pain the bloomed in his hand, and followed up by blocking a swing aimed at his temple. He took a quick step backwards, dancing away from an elbow to the throat. Thrusting his fist forward, he managed to split Hamilton’s lip. 

“Looks like you’re breakable after all,” Angel said, grinning as they continued their dance. He could hear the voices of his friends, old and new, driving him forward, telling him where to strike and when to block. There was a new fire burning inside him, refusing to let him give up even as his muscles screamed at him to stop. He couldn’t give up. Not now, not with so much to lose. 

Hamilton landed a hit square to Angel’s jaw, sending the vampire crashing to the ground. “This is getting irritating, Angel,” the liaison said, pulling a stake from inside his blazer. “What’s the point of continuing a fight you know you can’t win?” 

_ Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. _

_ I’ve never known you to risk your life for nothing, Spike. What was the point of fighting a losing battle against a goddess from hell? _

_ Besides loving Buffy and the Bit?  _

“Because I know it’s the right thing to do,” Angel said as Spike’s voice echoed the words in his mind.

He got to his feet, knocking the piece of wood out of Hamilton's hand and watching it skitter away with a clatter. The man - was he even a man? - laughed. “You cannot beat me. I am a part of them. The Wolf, Ram, and Hart. Their strength flows through my veins. My blood is filled with their ancient power.”

Slowly, a smirk stretched across Angel’s lips.  _ Finally. _ “Can you pick out the one word there you probably shouldn't have said?” He shifted into his vampire guise and launched himself forward, latching onto Hamilton’s throat and taking long pulls from the liaison. Power flooded through Angel’s body, renewing his strength. Marcus shoved him off and Angel deftly backflipped away, landing easily on his feet and wiping the remaining blood from around his mouth, sucking it off his finger. “Mmm. Good stuff.”

He threw himself into the fight, feeling the balance shift as he landed more blows than he was blocking. He still ached and his bones were singing with pain, but he felt stronger than he had in a long time. When he had the opening he didn’t waste it, cracking the man’s neck and letting the body tumble to the ground. He didn’t spare the dead man even a passing glance. “Good riddance,” he said, turning on his heel and stepping into the elevator.

He had a meeting to get to.


	24. The End Part Eight-Buffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen and everyone else in between! The moment you’ve been waiting for! Buffy and co. vs the armies of hell….

Buffy and Spike ran into the alley and she nearly collapsed in relief when she saw they weren’t the first to arrive. She had scattered the armies through the city, making sure they had every area covered that they could. The only ones meeting in the alley were the ones who’d been at the apartment. 

A shockingly unmarked Oz was chatting with an equally uninjured Vi. Off to one side, Kennedy and Rona, also free of blood or bruises, were talking with-

“Dawn?” she demanded, approaching her sister. “Andrew? Harmony? What are you doing here?”

“I want to fight,” Harmony said. “I’m sick of being treated like I’m useless. I….I want to prove myself.”

Buffy blinked at her in surprise. “Oh. Okay. Sure. The more hands, the better.” She looked around, stomach sinking as she faced the alley entrance. “Are we the first ones here?”

“Don’t worry, pet,” Spike said. “I’m sure the rest will be here soon. They’re a capable group.”

“Right. I’m sure you’re right.” She turned to the werewolf. “Oz? How was Sebassis? Did he give you any trouble?”

“He was taking a bath,” he said. “Honestly, I felt kind of bad interrupting.”

“He’s dead?”

“Super dead,” Rona confirmed with a nod. “We snuck in, killed his servants, killed his family, killed him. No one even saw us coming.” She frowned suddenly, looking behind Buffy. “Who’s that?”

Turning revealed a dark figure running towards them and revealing themself to be a broad man in black leather. Angel nodded to the two of them and she took a moment to inspect him the way she knew he was looking her over. His face was bloody and he was favoring one of his legs, but he seemed otherwise fine. “How’re you holding up?”

“As well as can be expected,” Buffy said. “You?”

“Got myself a nice meal out of it. I’ll be alright. Any word on the rest?”

“Nothing as of yet,” Spike said, looking up into the rain. “You feeling the heat?”

“Oh yeah,” Angel said. “Look, Spike. In case we don’t get out of this alive I just wanted to tell you….thanks.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Thanks? For what?”

Angel grabbed Spike by the arm and embraced him. Buffy heard the hushed tones of a conversation not meant for her ears and looked away, pretending she couldn’t hear them at all. Her eyes widened as a name caught her attention, slightly louder than the rest of their muttered dialogue. Whatever it was Spike had done, Angel was clearly  _ incredibly _ grateful. The two men pulled away, nodded seriously to each other, and released each other’s arms.

“Oh thank God,” a new voice said, causing the group to turn. Gunn was running towards them with his axe in hand, one arm thrown over Faith’s shoulders. She set the man on a crate pushed against the alley wall and stepped back, folding her arms over her chest. Buffy looked around and, after a moment, approached Faith. The other girl was covered in blooming bruises and Buffy was pretty sure her lip had been split open. She was absolutely covered in blood and Buffy wasn’t sure how much of the stain on her shirt was hers and how much was- 

“Don’t,” the Slayer said quietly. “Just don’t, B.”

“Are you okay?”

Faith laughed bitterly. “No. I don’t think I am.”

“Faith-”

“I loved him,” she said suddenly. “It took me too long to realize it. I thought love was what Wilkins had shown me or what my parents gave me. It was right under my nose and….” She looked up at Buffy, tears in her eyes. “Everything I touch dies. Everyone I love leaves. What does that say about me, B? Am I cursed?”

“Maybe it’s a Slayer thing,” Buffy said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Faith said with a wry smile. “Me too.”

“Woah, what’s with the sob fest?” Buffy turned to the newcomer, shaking her head slightly at the silent question in Spike’s eyes. He immediately looked to Faith and something dark flickered across his face. She brushed past him, realizing that Gunn was bleeding profusely from his stomach. A second glance at Spike had them switching positions as she earned herself a head shake. No way to stop the flow. “Thought everyone would be pumped we survived?”

“We didn’t all survive,” Buffy said to Xander, embracing him tightly. “But I’m glad you did. Woah.” Her fingers brushed over a nasty cut running along his cheek - it was definitely going to scar - but what had really caught her attention was his shattered glass eye. “What happened? Where’s Lorne?”

“A demon tried to one up Caleb. Lucky for me, he picked the wrong side. And Lorne is fine. He decided he wanted out and took off. Now give it to me straight. Who did we lose?”

“Robin,” Giles said, looking around the space. “He’s not here. And Charles is injured.”

“Faith is pretty messed up, too,” she said. “Seems like it was one hell of a vampire nest.” She shook her head. “Spike and I should have gone instead of them.”

“And what?” Xander demanded. “One of you died in their place? Maybe both of you? No way. No one wanted this to happen, Buffy, but there’s no point wishing things were different.”

“Any word on Wes or Willow?” Angel asked, pacing the length of the fence. 

“Nothing,” Spike replied. 

Two figures dropped from the sky, one significantly harder and faster than the other. Willow looked between them all, checking to make sure her people were all okay. Illyria made eye contact with Angel and said simply, “Wesley’s dead.”

Buffy made a strangled sound in her throat and suddenly Spike’s arms were around her, supporting her as the tears came. Wesley couldn’t be dead. He was never supposed to die. She had assumed that out of all of them, he would be fine. By the look on Willow’s face she was feeling guilty about the whole thing, but Buffy doubted there was anything she could have done. At least the two women had gotten here in time. “I'm feeling grief for him,” the demon continued. “I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.”

“It’s your lucky day, Smurfette,” Spike said as the rumbling of a shouting crowd had everyone looking to the alleyway entrance. “There’s plenty of violence to be done.”

That was possibly the understatement of the millennia. A wave of demons Buffy couldn’t see the end of was headed straight towards them, all wild limbs and strange languages. A few giants trampled through the city, their breastplates wide and sharp. Overhead, two scaly creatures she could only assume were dragons screeched at them.

“Either of you fearless leaders got a plan?” Spike asked, squeezing Buffy’s hand as their squad filled in around them.

“Yeah, I’ve got a plan,” Buffy said. She turned, kissing Spike fiercely and pouring as much emotion into it as she possibly could. She pulled away breathlessly and gripped at his jacket, staring deeply into those eyes she loved so much. “Don’t die.”

“Got anything better than that, love?”

“We fight,” Angel said simply.

“Bit more specific than that?”

“Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon.”

“I second that,” Buffy said with a grin. 

Angel twirled his sword in his hand as the first wave advanced. “Let's go to work.”

Buffy didn’t think as she surged forward, swinging at anything and everything she could. It was complete and total chaos as she fought her way out of the alley and into the streets where she’d have more freedom of movement despite the civilians fleeing for the city limits or taking shelter. A growl behind her told her that Oz had wolfed out and a flash of light in her peripheral led her to believe Willow was hard at work.

“Watch out, B!” Faith called, running alongside her and hacking her way through the demons. Buffy ducked as one of the dragons came sweeping down, belly low to the ground as it tried to take them out with its long, sharp talons. She raised her scythe, fully prepared to swing, when something shot past her. Buffy could only roll her eyes as the figure leapt forward, grabbed the dragon’s saddle, and swung himself up onto the beast's back. Of course Spike was going to try and ride the dragon.

She fought back to back with Faith, half-watching as the vampire broke the rider’s neck and threw the body at the still advancing army. He took the reins in one hand and yanked, letting out a laugh as the dragon reared back and flew off into the sky. A moment later it came sweeping back down with Spike still in the driver’s seat, one arm reaching out as the animal swept by. Buffy cut down the demon she was fighting with and took his hand, wrapping her fingers around Faith’s wrist and dragging her with them as they shot straight up. 

“This isn’t my idea of slaying a dragon,” Buffy called to him as he hauled them up into the massive saddle.

“The only way to kill something in the sky is to be in the sky yourself,” Spike said, wrapping the reins around his hands as the dragon bucked beneath him. “Or, you know, projectiles. But last I heard we didn’t have any of those.”

Buffy gripped his waist as Faith let out a whoop, laughing as they did barrel rolls through the clouds and the rain whipped at their faces. Being this high up, they could make out the city that had turned into a battlefield in a matter of moments. The coven members were easily spotted by the occasional flashing lights on the ground, like beacons in the darkness. Werewolves ran through the streets and ripped at whatever demons they could find, howling occasionally. People ran and screamed amidst the chaos and over it all gave Buffy the perfect perspective to see the wave of bodies headed for the city limits.

And there, directly below them, her friends were fighting through the first wave of demons. 

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered, steering them down towards the second dragon as it curled in the air, smoke billowing from its large nostrils. “You Slayers ready?”

“Hell yeah!” Faith exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air. Buffy readied her scythe, locking in on her target. As they swept by she’d aim….There!

The dragon howled in pain as she sliced through its side and gave chase, fire spouting from its open maw. Spike brought them up, just barely missing both the fire and the tip of a skyscraper. “You’re a terrible driver!” Buffy cried over the wind howling in her ears.

“Sorry, pet,” he said dryly, glancing over his shoulder and shooting her a cocky smirk. “Never got my dragon riding license.”

He steered them around the city, seemingly trying to get the other dragon far enough away that little damage would be done when it fell from the sky. She appreciated the thought, but there would be damage no matter where they fought this out. The best they could do was stall and give as many people the chance to leave as possible.

Fire erupted above them and Spike cursed, sending them spiraling towards the ground. “How do we make this one breathe fire?” Faith asked, sounding more curious than fearful. “Seems like that would be pretty useful right now.”

“Don’t know,” Spike said, voice strained. Buffy could feel the tension in his core as he tried to maneuver the giant beast where he wanted it to go. “Buffy, love, get ready for another-”

“On it.” She slashed at the other dragon as they flew by, hitting it in the wing and tearing through the thin skin. It cried out in pain and she winced at the sharp keening. This was  _ so _ not what she thought slaying a dragon would entail.

They swept low, earning a few startled screams from both armies. Buffy caught sight of her sister fighting a group of small horned demons as they flew by. Just as pride welled in her chest, Dawn slipped and her sword went skittering away. Then, they were gone.

“Spike, turn around,” she demanded.

“And fly right into the hell beast behind us? Are you completely off your bird?”

“We need to go back!”

“What the hell are you on about?”

“Dawn is going to die if you don’t let me get off. I have to help her.”

He tilted his head skyward and she heard a muttered string of curses, but he quickly regained himself and brought them up and around, sweeping low once again. “Be careful, Buffy.”

She kissed his cheek. “You too. Faith, hope you like the sound of Dragon Slayer, ‘cause that’s what you’re about to be.”

“Fuck yeah, I am!”

Buffy vaulted off the dragon’s back with a laugh, rolling as she hit the pavement and sprinted towards Dawn. Her sister was primarily ducking attacks and her face lit up as Buffy tossed her her scythe. The Slayer slid through the demon’s ranks, picking up Dawn’s discarded sword and getting to work punching, kicking, and decapitating her way through the demons. By the time that small circle was dead, both girls were gasping for breath and soaked through with sweat and rain. Buffy dragged Dawn into a side alley temporarily devoid of demons to catch their breath and exchange weapons. “What the hell were you thinking, fighting all of those guys by yourself?” she demanded once her lungs ceased burning. “You could have gotten yourself killed.”

“I wasn’t by myself. Harmony was with me,” Dawn said sharply, then immediately sobered. “They got a lucky hit on her. She lasted longer than I thought she would.”

Buffy took a deep breath. Robin. Wesley. Harmony. Probably Gunn. And they were nowhere near finished, although a dent was being made. Looking up and squinting in the rain, she could make out the two dragons exchanging fire high above them all.  _ Come on, _ she thought.  _ Don’t you dare die on me you stupid, suicidal vampire. _

“Alright. You ready to get back into it?” Buffy asked her sister. Dawn set her face in a steely expression and nodded. “Good. Let’s go.”

They ran out just in time to see Illyria straddle a demon on the ground and use her bare hands to rip the head off, while Graham crouched behind her and blew out another’s brains with his bullets. Dawn’s eyes widened and Buffy quickly led them in the opposite direction, running deeper into the crowd of demons. The sisters ended up between Riley and Andrew, the former using anything and everything at his disposal to take down the demon army while the latter swung his sword around and somehow managed to get a few lucky hits in. She had just barely gotten into her groove when a hand wrapped around her arm and pulled her away. 

Buffy whirled, punching her assailant in the nose. Illyria took the hit without releasing her. “What the hell are you doing?”

“We have a problem.”

“Riley? Andrew? Watch Dawn!”

“On it,” Riley responded, immediately moving to back up her younger sister. 

“Come with me,” Illyria said, dragging Buffy through the demons. They managed to take out a handful each as they waded through the sea of bodies, Buffy with her scythe and Illyria with increasingly disturbing feats of strength. She had to give the demon points for creativity. Stabbing a demon with its own broken off horn was something Buffy had never seen done before.

“Where are we going?”

“The senior partners have raised two other Old Ones.” Illyria turned her piercing blue eyes on Buffy. “The old man is attempting to fight Lohesh with his friends in the strange suits. You need to help him.”

“Why me? Why not you?”

“I will battle Vallmarug,” she said. “They all killed me, but she was the one who drove the sword through my heart. She landed the killing blow. I look forward to doing the same to her.”

Illyria stopped suddenly and pointed at a large creature with two pairs of wings sprouting from its back. Its body was sleek and a pale purple, making it seem like a close cousin to the dragons currently in the sky. Buffy glanced up and found only one dragon in the sky now, and it was currently being shot at by Angel and a few of the Potentials in what seemed to be an attempt to get it close enough for the vampire to slay. Faith and Spike were nowhere to be seen.

“Lohesh. Right. Got it.”

Illyria hesitated a moment. “Would you like me to find him for you?” she asked. 

Buffy opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. She wanted to say yes. She desperately wanted to tell Illyria to find him and bring him back to her. But the Old Ones needed to be dealt with and if the God-King was looking for one vampire, innocents could die. So, with every part of her screaming at her that she was making a mistake, Buffy said, “No. Go deal with the Old One. Spike can handle himself.”

The demon vanished with a nod, leaving Buffy to run to Giles. “Need a hand?”

“Always,” Giles replied, taking aim with his crossbow. “Could you perhaps cover us?”

She nodded, turning to the crowd of demons. “You’ve got it.”

The scent of sweat and blood hung in the air as her blade sang. She sliced her way through the demons, looking around when she could to try and find Spike or Faith. She thought she caught a glimpse of the other Slayer fighting one of the large Old Ones with Angel, Rona, Kennedy, Oz, and a handful of Potentials, but they vanished too quickly for her to be sure.

She heard a loud wail behind her and turned to see the winged demon crashing to the ground. Giles nodded to her and she launched herself back into the now thinning fray. A surge of triumph filled her chest. They might actually be able to win this!

Her body ached and everything in her screamed at her to cease moving but she didn’t dare stop. Stopping meant defeat and defeat meant death. She wasn’t ready to die a third time. 

As the thought crossed her mind she felt her aches ease slightly. Willow floated to the ground at her left. Someone rolled at her feet, popping up enthusiastically between the two girls and for a moment, Buffy thought it was Riley. But then Xander shot her his trademark smile and she grinned back. Here they were, the original three Scoobies in the middle of the war. With a threeway look and a nod, they shot into motion.

Buffy and Xander moved so Willow was between them, staying back to back with each other as they shot and sliced their way through the armies of hell. Willow glowed, the luminescence reaching all the way up to her gleaming white hair as she chanted what Buffy recognized as a spell for strength that the witch had shown her once. She finished in a matter of minutes and moved onto flinging demons around and piercing them on each other’s weapons. The longer they fought, the less fatigued Buffy felt. It was a strange paradox and one she didn’t care to think on.

Buffy decapitated the last demon in their area and looked around to find the city absolutely destroyed and eerily silent in a way she had never seen. She picked her way through the battlefield to rejoin her army at their rendezvous point, refusing to look at the human bodies littering the street after she saw one that looked suspiciously like Riley.

The trio was the last to arrive, allowing Buffy to stand back and take stock of the small assembled group. Giles was bleeding from several places and his nose was bare of his glasses. Willow was leaning heavily on a bruised Xander, one hand pressed to her shoulder as her mouth moved silently. A ripping sound echoed in the decimated city as Dawn tore the bottom of her shirt to wrap Andrew’s bloody arm. They were all wounded in some way, but they were alive much to Buffy’s relief. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if they hadn’t all survived.

Faith was holding a hand to her bleeding side, but she was still standing. There was a broken and haunted look in her eyes that Buffy knew all too well. She had worn that look just a few months ago when she’d believed the man she’d loved had died. Buffy met Faith’s gaze and gave her a reassuring nod. Her soul was hurting worse right now than her body ever could. There was nothing Buffy could do for her.

Angel was holding someone and it took a moment for Buffy to realize that not only was it Illyria, but that the Old One was crying in the vampire’s arms. Looking at the few remaining faces, she realized they were the only two still standing from the Justice League. Gunn must have dropped in the middle of everything. Buffy also remembered with a start that Harmony had dusted fighting beside Dawn. She was surprised to find that the vampire’s death upset her. Harmony had been so clueless and unprepared, yet she fought anyways. In the end, she had died a hero defending the Slayer’s sister. Buffy would forever be grateful for her.

Oz was comforting a sobbing Rona and speaking softly with Vi. Of the Potentials, they were the only two to make it out alive and of the wolves, Oz was the sole survivor. She could have been crying over any of the potentials, but Buffy had a feeling it was Kennedy the girl was so upset over. The two had grown close over the past few months and Kennedy’s death would hit Rona harder than anyone.

Sam was kneeling on the ground, Graham wrapped around her like he could shield her from the world.  _ So it was Riley _ , Buffy thought with detached realization. She hadn’t ended on the best of terms with the man, but a part of her still mourned him in spite of it. He had given his life in the fight of the millennia and she would make sure he wasn’t forgotten.

Buffy went to her family, looking each of them in the eye. “So,” she said. “What do we do now?”

They exchanged nervous looks that immediately set her on edge. “You’re awfully calm about this,” Xander said slowly.

She swallowed thickly. “No. I’m really not. But they need me to be strong. I can’t fall apart because we lost some good people.”

“Buffy,” Willow said. “You  _ have _ looked around, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” she said with a frown. “Of course I have. Why? What am I missing?”

There was a long silence and she realized that whatever she hadn’t noticed, no one wanted to be the one to tell her. Dawn silently stepped away from Andrew and stopped in front of her. “Buffy,” her sister said softly, placing a hand on the Slayer’s shoulder. “Spike isn’t here.”

The world stopped.

She turned, shrugging off Dawn’s comfort, and looked around again. Just like she’d said, there was no sign of his platinum head or leather coat. She’d noticed Spike wasn’t there during her initial sweep, but she hadn’t  _ noticed _ that he wasn’t there. Some part of her had recognized the absence of his voice and another had noticed she couldn’t feel his presence the way she normally could, but it hadn’t fully hit her that if he wasn’t there he was-

“Maybe he’s still fighting something. I’m sure someone here-”

“I asked everyone,” Dawn interrupted gently. “No one’s seen him.”

Buffy shook her head. “No. You’re wrong. You have to be wrong.”

“What’s going on?” Oz asked. Great. Now she’d made a scene. All eyes on her, just like always. “Everything okay, Buffy?”

“None of you have seen Spike?” she demanded. There were headshakes all around. “No, one of you has to be lying. One of you saw him, right?  _ Right _ ?”

“Buffy, I’m afraid you may need to accept the possibility that Spike is-”

“Shut your  _ fucking _ mouth,” she snapped, whirling to face Giles. He recoiled as though slapped, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Water splashed onto her pants as she threw her scythe to the ground. “He’s not dead. He can’t be.”

“Buffy, there wouldn’t be a body to find. You-”

“No.” She felt like she was suffocating, a fire deprived of oxygen, slowly dying as the rain fell down and down and down. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. If he was gone again, what was she supposed to do? She couldn’t go back to what she’d been before the phone call. If she did, she’d never be able to come back to herself. “He  _ can’t  _ be. We have a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Spike is going to come back to England with me,” she said. “We’re going to sleep in the room with the red curtains and I’m going to ask Giles to invest in the same kind of windows Wolfram and Hart had because that room faces the sunrise. I-I’m going to take one of Angel’s special vampire cars, probably the Viper, with us when we leave so Spike can do errands with me on rainy days or, or go to the store with Dawn for whatever she feels like cooking or b-baking. He’ll be with me when I see snow,  _ real _ snow, not the miracle snow that saved Angel-” She broke off suddenly, unable to breathe. Her chest shuddered as she gasped for air and she realized she was crying which only made it harder to breathe. Why would she be crying if he was still alive? But he had to be alive because- “A-and I’ll get cold super quick and he’ll make some  _ stupid _ comment about me being a Cali girl. We’ll go inside a-and make hot chocolate from scratch using m-my Mom’s recipe. I’ll get whipped cream on my nose and he’ll kiss it off.” 

Her voice was failing her, turning breathy and weak. She sniffled and swiped at her cheeks. She had to keep going. They had to understand why they were wrong. Spike wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be because- “When the sun sets, Spike is going to go patrolling with me, or walk with me through the town, o-or we’ll go out in the field and look up at the s-s-stars. Willow will tell us the constellations and he’ll correct her when sh-she’s wrong ‘cause Spike knows them all. He’s going to teach me how to d-d-dance and how to do ice skating tricks he couldn’t do with Drusilla because she wasn’t str-strong enough. He’s going to help Dawn” - oh, God now Dawn was crying with her - “with her English homework because he knows all about c-classic literature and her Latin homework because he knows the language in-inside a-and out. He’ll sneak love poems….”

She covered her mouth with her hand and cleared her throat. His love poems. He’d given her a notebook of poems he’d recited to Fred during his times as a ghost. The scientist had written down every word he had said about “his Slayer”, transferring them to the notebook she was keeping at home. She’d given it to him and he’d given it to Buffy spontaneously one night.  _ No reason _ , he’d said.  _ Just because I love you _ .

She gasped, the tears coming hot and fast now. “God, his poems,” she said with a wet laugh. “He’ll sneak them under my pillow at night, n-not because he’s leaving but just b-because he can. He’ll w-watch me read them in the morning and I’ll kiss him because he found the perfect way to describe my eyes, o-or my smile, or, or the way it feels when we’re next to each other. We’re going to be happy.

“So don’t you see?” she demanded, stepping closer to the group and splashing water closer to them. “Spike  _ can’t  _ be dead. He can’t be. I’ve died twice and, and he’s d-died twice and the last time  _ we were supposed to be together _ . We were supposed to get a chance.” She swallowed down the tears in her voice and took a shaky breath. “He didn’t even let me tell him I loved him. He said it would be too much like a goodbye so he didn’t….he didn’t let me….” Her knees buckled and she collapsed to the ground. Pain exploded in her legs as she was splashed with a disgusting combination of mud, sewage, rainwater, and blood but she couldn’t find it in herself to care as the tears streamed down her face and her whole body was wracked with the force of her sobs.

“Buffy.” Someone embraced her from behind. She leaned into the touch, uncaring who it was. She was so desperate for comfort, she was pretty sure she’d even take  _ Graham _ if he was the one behind her. But no, she recognized that smooth voice and those warm hands on her own. Wait. Warm? No, that wasn’t right. His hands were cold, always so cold she shivered when he touched her. But now they were warm. Looked like Angel had gotten what he wanted. Lucky him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The newly ex-vampire murmured comfortingly in her ear as she sobbed, clutching the arm resting across her stomach like it was a lifeline. If she let go, she thought she might dissolve in the rain like sugar. She gasped for breath as the tears continued to run down her cheeks with the water from above. “It’ll be okay. It’ll get better. I promise”

“Don’t promise me,” she said, her voice coming out as barely more than a whisper. “Please. Don’t promise me, Angel.”

“Why not?”

“Because Spike never broke his promises and he told me he wouldn’t….I just can’t have any more promises broken, okay?”

They sat like that for a long time, Angel simply holding her as she cried for the love she found and lost and the future she’d never have. She’d wanted it so badly, too. She’d wanted another Gem of Amara, the chance to travel the world with him, a ring on her finger that matched the one on his. She’d begged, pleaded, fought, kicked, and cheated to try hold onto that which she could never have. “She walks in beauty, like the night,” she whispered. Angel stiffened behind her. “Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that’s best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes.” She wished she knew more of it, but she hadn’t had the time to learn the whole thing. She was going to recite it to him next New Year’s but it didn’t matter now. None of it mattered anymore. Spike was gone and this time, he wasn’t coming back.

She gasped as her chest heaved with new sobs, the truth finally settling like a weight on her shoulders. He was gone. He was gone. He was gone. He was gone. How many times would she have to think it before it stopped hurting?

“Oh my God,” Angel said. “Buffy.”

“What?”

His hand came under her chin and slowly, he raised her head until she was looking straight ahead. In the distance, she could make out two figures moving steadily closer to them. One was clearly a woman, her long hair tangled and dark from the rain. Her clothing seemed perfectly fitted to her body.  _ Illyria _ , her brain supplied.  _ When did she leave? _

The second figure had one hand thrown over Illyria’s shoulders and was clearly walking with a limp. They passed underneath a flickering streetlight, illuminating them for only a moment. A moment was all the time Buffy needed to sprint towards the pair and collide with a slick body that wrapped its arm around her and coughed and said, “Easy, love. Think I cracked a few ribs.”

“You’re alive,” she said, crying for an entirely different reason now as she clung to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his neck to assure herself he was real. “God, you’re alive.”

“Promised you I wouldn’t be going anywhere, didn’t I?” He groaned softly. “You’re squeezing a bit too tight, pet.”

“Sorry.” She relaxed her grip, leaning back just enough to look at him. One eye was turning black, he was leaning heavily on Illyria, and his shirt was torn in several places, revealing various cuts that seemed to have mostly stopped bleeding. She ran a thumb over his split lower lip and he hissed, flinching away from her hand. “Sorry. What happened to you?”

“Fell off the dragon and got separated from you lot. A building dropped on me when some bloody giant knocked it down and I was pinned under the rubble. Couldn’t lift it off though I damn well tried. Thought I was going to dust when the rain cleared.”

“I heard Spike calling for help,” Illyria said. “You were upset and I….I’m fond of his company. It seemed….wrong to leave him to die.”

“Thank you,” Buffy whispered. Illyria nodded once and slipped out from beneath his arm to pick her way through the field of demon corpses back to the group. Spike swayed the moment she left and Buffy reacted instinctively, grabbing his arms and placing them on her shoulders so he was fully leaning on her. “You’re still a vampire, right?”

He frowned. “Think so. Why?”

“Angel’s hands are warm. I thought-” Abruptly, Spike cocked his head, narrowing his eyes at her. She recognized this position, this stillness that she hadn’t seen since they hunted down Dana. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I can hear his heartbeat, pet,” he looked to the group with a small smile for his not-quite- rival. “Looks like old Angel is finally human again.”

“And you’re still you?”

“I’m still me. Always and forever.”

“Good. Because I happen to love you quite a bit.”

The rain poured down around them as Spike pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth, minding his injured lip. Her hands found their way to the back of his neck and his slid down her body to land at her waist. She imagined they looked like something out of a movie to her friends, but she only thought it for a moment. When Spike murmured “I love you” against her lips, she forgot everything but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh we did it! The end of The End. We aren’t quite done yet - there will be an epilogue up tomorrow - but I thought I should say some semi-final words before the final chapter. 
> 
> It’s been such a joy writing and posting this story. Quarantine and COVID hit my inspiration hard so this project was a lot of fun. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! I’ll see you all tomorrow for the end of Promise Me.


	25. Epilogue: I'll Walk With You, My Love

_One Year Later_

Buffy was pretty sure her life was something close to perfect.

Sure, she wished a few more people had gotten this far with her - her mother, Anya, Wesley, Robin, Tara, the list went on and on - but generally her life was going better than it ever had. Willow was continuing her studying with the coven, Xander had gotten a rep as the town handyman and people were paying him to fix their houses, Dawn was going to school every day and passing her classes, Andrew had taking up film making, and all of them were living under Giles’ roof in England because he had a house with more than enough space.

It turned out that _house_ actually meant _houses_ in a million countries and cities Buffy had never been to. When she heard the list, she was convinced the Council had gone a bit overboard compensating him for his efforts in rebuilding. London, Dublin, Brussels, Geneva, Tokyo, Berlin, St. Petersburg, Siem Reap, and Chiang Mai (the latter two were cities she’d never heard of but that Spike later informed her were in Cambodia and Thailand respectively) - and that was only in Eurasia! He’d refused to tell her about the Americas, but she suspected he was hiding another few houses in cities like Buenos Aires, Quebec, and Rio De Janeiro.

Once Buffy had learned about her rent-free lodging options while travelling she had begged Giles to let her and Spike visit all of them, beginning with his Parisian manor. He had agreed with some reluctance and the two had spent the end of April through July in France. The moment they got there Spike had started teaching her French and now, in December, she could hold a conversation with little struggle. The looks her and Dawn would receive when they had conversations only the vampire could understand were absolutely priceless.

She rolled over in bed, smiling at what she was sure was the best part of her life these days.

Never had she thought she would describe a vampire as peaceful, and yet as she watched Spike that was the word that came to mind. His chest rose and fell evenly and his muscles were relaxed in a way only she ever saw. The first few times it had been strange to see the vampire who couldn’t stop moving so totally still. Now, it was something she relished.

Buffy reached a hand out and fiddled with the gold and emerald pendant resting against his chest. It had been a lucky break, Giles finding it. A sister to the Gem of Amara and a simple solution to their problem of exclusively moonlit walks. The grin on Spike’s face when he stepped into the light and nothing happened was infectious and soon they were both running through the streets of Paris like children. When they returned to the manor, he took his shirt off and stood in the window for an hour, holding Buffy as they waited for a fire that never came.

She dropped the pendant and moved her hand to his hair, gently tugging the locks enough that she could see the brown roots beneath. She’d asked him once if he’d ever let her bleach his hair once it grew out and the look he’d shot her was so baffled, she’d thought he was going to tell her his hair was naturally like that. When he told her that his hair didn’t grow on account of being dead, she’d flushed and muttered something about roots. He hadn’t let her bleach his roots, but he had shown her how he combed his hair back to hide them 

She untangled her fingers from his hair and swept it over his forehead, switching to a single finger and dragging it down the bridge of his nose. She knew he was awake. The question was what would get him to admit it. When his nose earned her nothing even after she booped it, she moved onto the rest of his face, tracing his cheekbone lightly with her fingertip and letting it trail down his throat to his chest.

“That tickles,” he mumbled. His voice was low and rough from sleep and she pressed a kiss to his nose, grinning triumphantly when it coaxed a laugh out of him and caused him to open his eyes. “Sleep well, love?”

“Oh yeah.” She sat up, stretching her hands over her head. “How about you?”

“Just fine with you here.”

“Good.” She felt his gaze on her as she got dressed, pulling on a white sweater and jeans. It had taken some time to adjust to actual cold weather, but once they reached the middle of September she had pretty much adjusted. Giles had warned them that December wouldn’t be anything like it was in California and while Willow and Xander seemed less than thrilled, Buffy had confided to Spike that she was excited. She’d literally squealed when she woke up to a few inches of snow on the ground and was incredibly thankful that the only one witness to it was Spike. They’d gone outside and he’d hit her in the back with a snowball, silently daring her to throw one in retaliation. Eventually, the whole house minus Giles had gotten involved and they’d stayed out there until they were all soaking wet. Hot showers were in short supply that night. “You ready for tonight?” 

“What’s tonight?”

“Oh my God, you forgot.” She glanced behind her at the vampire now sitting up, the sheets pooled around his waist and revealing his bare chest. “Tonight is the Watcher’s Ball Giles has been planning. With all the current and potential Watchers coming to mingle and talk and do Watchery stuff while the invited Slayers roll their eyes at it but secretly really like getting to go to a legit ball?”

“Right. That.”

“Everyone’s flying in today and I have to go pick them up from the airport. Wanna come with?”

“I’m assuming you didn’t hear back from Lorne?”

She shook her head. “No. I haven’t heard from him since my last birthday. Think he’ll write for twenty-four?”

“Don’t know, pet. Wouldn’t count on it.” He cocked his head in what had become a familiar gesture without her even realizing it. “Who are you getting?”

“Oz is taking a cab like a normal person, but since Illyria isn’t really a normal person, Faith didn’t want to get a cab, and Angel still isn’t used to public transportation despite Nina’s best attempts, I’m picking them up. Now I ask again; do you want to come with me?” She smiled at him. “It’s fine if you don’t. I think Andrew is playing that game with Xander, Giles, and Dawn while they wait. Maybe you can go hang with them. I’m sure Andrew wouldn’t mind helping you make a character real quick.”

He cursed under his breath, climbing out of bed and quickly putting on his pants and pulling on a black long sleeve over the pendant. It was an ongoing battle to make him wear anything other than black, but she considered the fact that she had gotten him away from the same shirt and jeans everyday a win. She followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen larger than any kitchen she was used to with an oven, a stove, a sink, a fridge, a microwave, and an island far away from the counter with plenty of room for at least three people to work.

The Watcher’s Council really did pay Giles an exorbitant amount of money.

Spike hoisted himself up onto the island with his back to the door and Buffy stepped forward, kissing him softly. When she pulled back, she grabbed a ceramic bowl and passed it back to Spike while she went looking for any cereal that wasn’t Cheerios or Special K or Cornflakes. She knew there was a box of Golden Grahams in here somewhere; Xander had been eating them a few days ago. When her search was unsuccessful, she settled for Cheerios with a spoonful of sugar and a vow to make Xander squeal.

She led the way into the dining room where everyone was already seated at the dark wooden table. Dawn was the only one sitting on the side facing the entrance, the seats beside her empty and the chair across from her filled by Xander, but she was too busy drawing in the syrup from her pancakes with her fork to notice their entrance. On either side of Xander was Willow, talking animatedly to him about whatever TV show the two of them had been watching the night before, and Giles, nose buried in a book as he sipped his coffee. The head of the table was taken up by Andrew, leaving Buffy to place her bowl in front of one of the empty seats beside her sister, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Hey, Buffy,” Willow greeted cheerfully.

“What’s up, Will?”

“The sky,” she said, rolling her eyes. Spike slid into the chair Buffy had placed her bowl in front of and she sighed in feigned exasperation. She moved for the next chair, letting out a laugh when hands came around her waist and tugged her onto his lap.

Yeah. Her life was pretty much perfect.

“Spike, there’s blood in the fridge,” Giles said without looking up from his book. Buffy bent down, trying to see the cover and scowling at it once her cheek hit the table and she still couldn’t read it.

“I’m not feeling too peckish at the moment,” he said. She could hear the amusement coloring his voice and sat up, looking back at him. There he was, trying not to laugh at her. “What are you reading?”

“Jane Austen.”

“Which one?”

“ _Mansfield Park_.”

He made a noncommittal humming sound that rumbled against her back. “I never cared for that one. Took me ages to get through it the first time.”

Giles looked at him over the edge of the book. “The _first_ time? You didn’t like it but you reread it?”

“I’ve read Austen’s entire bibliography twice,” Spike said with a shrug. “And my favorite many more times than that. Not like I had anything better to do with my time back in the day.”

“Let me guess, your favorite is _Pride and Prejudice_?”

“How’d you know?” Buffy choked on the cereal, covering her mouth with her hand as she coughed. “That surprise you, pet?”

“You like _Pride and Prejudice_?” He shifted underneath her and she smiled. She seemed to be the only one with the ability to embarrass him and when she turned and kissed him on the cheek, he stilled. “I haven’t read it myself, but I’ve heard good things.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to fix that.” He pressed a kiss to her neck. “Ready to go?”

“Only if you let me drive.”

Spike laughed, burying his face in her hair. She leaned into him, letting her eyes slide shut. She had never been one for PDA with Riley or Angel, but Spike made it all seem easy and natural. There was no embarrassment to be had when she was with him. “If I must.”

\-----------------------------------

_Buffy pulled into the driveway of the manor, circling around the fountain and stopping in front of the main entrance. The building itself was wide, with two stories and at least eight windows that she could see. Golden lights danced in the water and along the stone path, illuminating the April night. “I can’t believe I drove us from England to France,” she said, turning off the car and turning to Spike with a wide smile only to find the passenger door open and the vampire already standing outside. She followed him out and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder. She felt him sigh against her. “What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing’s wrong, pet,” he said softly. “I just forgot how much I like Paris. Needed a minute to get my bearings.”_

_She hummed in understanding, simply holding him and enjoying the feeling of his thumb running over the top of her hand. A cool breeze swept her hair away from her face and she closed her eyes to fully enjoy it. She’d thought winter in California was cold, but it didn’t compare to winter in England. Now spring was just on the horizon and Buffy was enjoying every bit of the remaining chill before it vanished._

_Spike stepped out of her embrace and went around to the trunk of her sporty red Sunfire, a twenty-third birthday gift courtesy of her boyfriend’s persuasion and Giles’ wallet, to pull out the two suitcases they had filled with their belongings. She’d insisted they bring empty ones because, as she’d explained it to the men in Giles’ house, they needed_ some _way to bring all the things they’d acquire back home._

_She followed him into the manor - before they left, Giles had told them it was practically theirs since he would never use it and apparently that was good enough for whatever prevented vampires from entering uninvited - and kicked the door shut behind them. They were standing in a decently sized entryway that gave away nothing about the rest of the house, only allowing them a glimpse at the luxury hiding out of sight. The walls were painted white and the floor was tiled the same save the small black squares placed at each tile’s corners. A cream colored staircase wound up to the second floor, the glass balcony doors the only visible thing from the upper story. Below those doors on the first floor was a matching set that revealed an inground pool in a field of green. A small white table stood in the middle of the room with a vase of fresh flowers perched on it and chairs scattered around in a loose circle as a small place for four people to sit and chat. On the right was a hallway leading deeper into the manor and back and to the left, a grand black piano sat, waiting to be played._

_Buffy went to examine the back porch and she heard Spike drop the bags behind her. When he didn’t materialize at her side she turned, watching silently as he ran his fingers over the piano keys with an unreadable expression. He pressed down on one experimentally. A low note echoed through the empty house. “Do you play?” Buffy asked. He looked up at her sharply, as though he’d forgotten she was there. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”_

_“It’s alright,” he said. “Guess I lost myself for a second there.”_

_“Do you play?” she asked again._

_“My mum did. She tried to teach me, but it didn’t take.” Spike stepped away, looking up the staircase. “Always did prefer singing.”_

_Buffy laughed. “Well I can understand why. If I had a voice like that-” She quickly clamped her mouth shut, but it was too late. He was grinning at her. “Don’t give me that look.”_

_“You weren’t so bad yourself. Maybe we can do a duet some time, really terrify our friends.”_

_She couldn’t help the smile at that. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but sometime between Halloween and the aftermath of the battle, the Scoobies had transitioned from_ her _friends to_ their _friends. It was a relief when she caught the nuance the first time. Finally, Spike had accepted the Scoobies and the Scoobies had accepted him._

_Buffy brushed past him, climbing up the stairs and poking her head through every door until she found what she was looking for. She didn’t look at any of the furnishings. They didn’t matter. All the room needed was a bed._

_She was tired of playing the waiting game._

_“Hey, Spike?” she called down, stepping into the room. “Can you come here for a second? I found something.”_

_He was up in a heartbeat, looking around in confusion before he finally landed on her. “It’s a bedroom,” he said. She could feel her heart pounding with excitement and based on the way he arched his scarred brow, he could feel it too. “Buffy? Everything alright?”_

_“I miss you,” she blurted out. “Okay? I miss your body and I’m sick of tiptoeing around past mistakes from years ago when we made our peace with them. So can you just be making love to me already?”_

_He hesitated only a moment, running his eyes over her to make sure she was certain. And she was. She saw the exact moment he knew, the gleam that shone in his eyes and the loving smile on his lips. “Yeah, love. I can do that.”_

\-----------------------------------

Out of the four people they were picking up, only Faith looked how they remembered. She had forsaken a winter coat in favor of her leather jacket, a flannel wrapped around her waist and her signature black boots protecting her feet from the snow. Her jeans weren’t ripped, which seemed to be the only precaution she’d taken for the shift from California to England weather. She’d nodded to Spike in greeting and fistbumped Buffy, trying and failing to walk away before Buffy could demand to know why Faith had brought only a backpack to carry her belongings.

Nina wasn’t too far off from the woman they’d met briefly at Wolfram and Hart. Her blonde hair fell to her chest now, though it had been pulled back in a high ponytail. Fuzzy earmuffs sat on her head and a stylish deep green coat covered her outfit. One hand covered by a white glove was holding the handle of a rose colored rolling suitcase. Her cheeks were dusted pink from the cold and she smiled at the duo when she saw them, embracing them both eagerly

Angel had gone through a few subtle changes since they last saw him in Los Angeles. He was tanner than Spike remembered, no doubt from all the time spent in the sun if Nina and Faith’s conversations with Buffy were anything to go by. He wasn’t playing at being a businessman anymore and had lost the suit and tie in favor of jeans and plain tees. He had kept his leather jacket, but he hadn’t been wearing it any of the times Spike had seen him. Part of him wondered if it was because Angel felt like it made him look too similar to his grandchild. He’d given Buffy a hug once he got close enough and shook Spike’s hand. He still hadn’t gotten used to the sensation of Angel’s heartbeat and it was like a drum in his ears as they walked to the car. Buffy seemed to sense his discomfort and took his hand in hers, squeezing gently. He squeezed back.

Illyria had undergone the most drastic changes since Los Angeles. She still spoke and behaved like the demon they knew and tolerated, and she still had the blue highlights in her hair, but those were the only things familiar about her. The blue from her skin and eyes were gone, making her look more like Fred physically than she ever had before. The illusion was thrown off by her clothing - a black leather tank top, skinny jeans, heels boots, and a plaid flannel covering her shoulders.

“Woah, Illyria,” Buffy said. “You look….um….”

“Angel wouldn’t let me wear my usual attire,” she said coldly. “He said it would make me look strange and that he wished to avoid attracting attention.”

“She borrowed from me,” Faith said. “Illyria’s got all my shit in _her_ bag. Don’t worry, B, I didn’t forget the reason for our trip. I’ve got a dress and everything.”

“Buffy, this car can only take four,” Angel said.

The Slayer rolled her eyes. “Angel, I happen to know a lot of witches. You’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“I can’t believe you let her drive,” he said, turning to Spike while they began to load up the trunk and the girls minus Illyria jumped into conversation about the tv show the three had picked up simultaneously. Something about a group of people stuck on an island that Spike watched on occasion with Buffy, though not enough to actually follow the plot much to her frustration. He didn’t think the show would last too long with a concept like that and he saw no point getting attached.

“She’s gotten a lot better,” Spike assured him, pushing Nina’s suitcase to the back of the trunk. “She drove us to Paris and back and we’ve still got all our limbs.”

“You went back to Paris? Why?”

“Unlike you, Peaches, I happened to like Paris. Buffy had been wanting to go and the Council had given Rupert a house there so we spent a few months there.” Spike closed the trunk. “Alright, everybody in.” 

Their guests clambered into the backseat, surprised to find that Buffy’s four door car had suddenly sprouted another bench in the back. While Angel and Nina went all the way to the back and Faith and Illyria situated themselves in the middle of the warm car, Buffy turned to Spike in the London cold. “Do you want me to drive back?” she asked.

Spike shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t care either way. Why? Do you want me to take over?”

“As entertaining as that would be, I’m good.” She spun the keys around her finger with a smile and slid behind the wheel. Spike returned her smile from the passenger seat when Angel groaned. “Relax. I know you’re all concerned about your mortality now, but I promise, I’m a good driver. Right Spike?”

“I wouldn’t go _that_ far.”

“Better than you.”

He chuckled. “Safer than me, you mean. I can be good when I want to be.” He raked his eyes over her body and she reached over to playfully swat at him. “Two hands on the wheel, pet.”

“I haven’t even started the car yet! And if you want me to be safe, don’t tease while I’m driving.”

“Thought you liked it when I-”

“If you two don’t shut up, I’m walking to Giles’,” Angel said. With a laugh, Buffy started the car and left the airport, using one hand to drive and holding Spike’s with the other.

He leaned back in his seat, letting his eyes close in contentment as the car rolled beneath him. They had two hours before they got to Westbury and he had every intention of using those two hours to feel the road moving underneath them, Buffy’s warm hand in his, and the sun falling on his face as it began peeking through the clouds.

\---------------------------------

_Buffy had thought Giles was joking when he said he had a ballroom, but then he threw open the doors and yep. There was a ballroom. How big_ was _this house? She felt like Mary in_ The Secret Garden _, wandering around and finding new rooms every time she left her own._

_Giles had insisted Buffy receive dancing lessons for the upcoming Watcher’s Ball since, apparently, she’d be expected to know how to waltz. Spike had volunteered to teach her, a relief since she really didn’t want to crush Giles’ spirit by telling him she already knew the steps. Spike was more than happy to work with her whenever the mood hit her. Or when her Watcher asked if she’d practiced that day._

_Giles had come by once to check on their progress and found Spike instructing Buffy through what was very obviously not a waltz step. He’d waited until they’d fully finished their tango to applaud, telling her that she was a natural. She quickly explained that in Paris, without any knowledge of the Ball, she had begged Spike to teach her how to ballroom dance. She could waltz, tango, and foxtrot with the best of them now. She was no professional, but hours of practice every day for three months did wonders._

_So now it was Dawn’s turn to learn._

_Dawn had made it no secret she wanted to learn to dance and Spike, being the man he was, had indulged her and gotten her a pair of pointe shoes, shooting Buffy a wink when the younger Summers opened them on her eighteenth birthday. Buffy thought she might start crying when she saw the soft pink satin. She hadn’t expected him to remember all the little things she’d rambled off in that L.A. apartment and yet the proof that he did was sitting right in front of her._

_Dawn had taken to ballet like a fish to water and now, standing in the ballroom watching Spike twirl her sister, it was clear how the sisters’ different backgrounds were affecting their learning. He’d had to constantly tell Buffy she wasn’t loose enough, that as much as he liked to compare dancing to fighting, there were differences that marked each as one and not the other. With Dawn, he was constantly reminding her that ballroom dance was different from ballet. She had to stay on the balls of her feet, not her toes, and sometimes her movements had to be faster and more fluid._

_Buffy heard a yelp and snapped out of her thoughts to find Spike on his back and Dawn laying on top of him, giggling. With a fond eye roll, she walked to them and offered Spike a hand. “Thanks, love.”_

_“I want to see you two dance,” Dawn said. “Maybe it will help me figure out what I need to do differently.”_

_“You can see us at the Watcher’s Ball, Bit,” Spike said._

_Buffy frowned. “What do you mean? I thought I was dancing with Giles.”_

_He slid his gaze from Dawn to her. “You can if you want, but Rupert said that either of us would be alright. There aren’t many people in our world who haven’t heard about the Slayer and William the Bloody. No one should be too surprised”_

_“Oh. Okay.” She smiled innocently at Dawn and shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to wait.”_

_Dawn stuck out her tongue, laughed, and skipped off to leave them alone. A new song started and, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, she took his hand in hers and let him lead her around the ballroom in a simple waltz. When it ended, she kissed him fiercely. “I love you,” she said._

_He grinned, pulling her closer. “Love you, too.”_

\-----------------------------

“Woah,” Dawn said, accepting the valet’s hand and stepping out of the Sunfire. Buffy was inclined to agree. She hadn’t had the chance to see the new and improved Watcher’s Council HQ in the past year and was now drinking in the sight. Giles had really done an incredible job with his impressive funds. It turned out that after the Initiative had been disbanded, the government had had an exorbitant amount of money to put into the supernatural. They were all too eager to help Giles out when he sent a letter on behalf of the Council and the money had been put to good use. The exterior of the new building had been modeled after the Colosseum and the interior had been decorated with his typical warm touch. 

The Summers sisters followed a man easily older than Giles through the circular halls to the top floor of the building until they stepped into an extravagant ballroom in the center of the floor. The glass ceiling let in the light from the moon and gave her a wonderful view of the stars. The room itself was, of course, circular and entirely open space, the walls a sleek cream broken up every few feet with magnificent windows. The floor was a light wood, polished so thoroughly Buffy could see her reflection looking back at her. An extravagant golden chandelier hung from the ceiling, illuminating the room with faux candlelight. 

Everywhere she looked, there were people. As much as she knew he hated to admit it, Giles could never have pulled this off without Andrew’s videos. They’d helped hundreds of Potentials find Watchers and, if not, find out about this party so they _could_ find a Watcher. And if they also helped take the burden away from Buffy, well that was just an added bonus. The girls didn’t need her now if they had her in the past. Like training videos.

“Look at you,” a man purred from behind her, voice like liquid silk. She waited for him to circle around her before she responded, but found the planned words snatched away.

 _Woah_.

In typical Spike fashion, he was throwing a big middle finger to the Watchers in whatever he possibly could. Tonight, it was in his clothing. Surrounded by men in tuxedos, ties, and cufflinks, Spike stood out like a sore thumb. He’d lost the jacket, but seeing as she couldn’t find any empty chairs with one draped over the back, she wondered if he’d even had one in the first place. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows and though he _had_ worn a tie, it was visibly looser than it should have been. He had a smoking cigarette in one hand which made her roll her eyes. Giles would stake him for sure if he saw it.

He chuckled, closing the distance between them and slowly dragging his free hand from her shoulder to her waist. “You’re glowing, love,” he said softly when his hand was somewhere around her ribs. “My golden goddess.”

She’d picked out a gold dress that hugged her chest and loosened at the bottom, becoming longer in the back than in the front to allow her full leg movement for dancing and slayage should the need occur. Dawn had curled her hair again, much to Faith’s entertainment, and framed it around her face and shoulders. Having learned her lesson from New Year’s, she had stuck with simple flats the same metallic gold as her dress. Willow had insisted she wear something diamond-y for jewelry, but Buffy had waved away the witch’s suggestions and asked her to help with the clasp of her cross necklace.

“You’re not looking so bad yourself,” she said, shooting for sultry and missing completely, instead landing somewhere near breathless.

“Uh, hello?” Dawn said, arms crossed and one eyebrow cocked. “Don’t I get a compliment?”

Spike looked at the younger girl as though he’d just realized she was there. “Bloody hell, Dawn,” he murmured, taking in the sight of her. “When did you get to be a woman?”

Dawn grinned, taking her flowing skirt and twisting from side to side so the lavender fabric swished around her knees. “You like it?”

“You’ll have to bat these wannabe Watchers away with a bat.”

Satisfied, she flounced off, waving to someone Buffy couldn’t see. “So,” she began, looping her arm through Spike’s. “What’s the situation?”

He nodded to the dance floor. Buffy was beyond relieved to see the familiar face of Layla and a young man she assumed was Ben, but she knew that wasn’t who Spike was referring to. Beside them was another couple and as she watched, the man spun the woman, making her blush colored skirt flare out around her. “Angel and Nina have been out there for a while. She was talking with Oz for a bit when he first showed up, but otherwise they’ve been on the floor.”

“He looks so happy,” Buffy said, smiling at the laugh the werewolf coaxed from the man as she spun back into his arms. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happy before.”

“You didn’t see him after he….” Spike trailed off, clearing his throat. “Willow and Oz haven’t left that table since they got here,” he said, switching topics. Following his gaze, Buffy saw her friends at an empty table in the back. Oz had also taken off his jacket, but his was draped over Willow’s shoulders, bare from her dove gray cocktail dress. Their foreheads were close together and they were speaking softly. 

“What do you think their deal is?” she asked as he led her to a table with four empty chairs. “Do you think they're together?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t know. Could be.”

“Come on, Spike. You’re the one who can see through our bullshit. Give me an honest answer.”

“I am. I don’t know what’s going on with Red and Wolfie. She’s your best friend, pet, why don’t you just ask her?”

“That….makes sense,” she finished weakly, dropping into the chair next to his.

“I can tell you Faith and Xander aren’t together,” he said, rolling his eyes at the duo fumbling and laughing their way through a waltz. The Slayer’s dress wasn’t designed for such types of dancing, but it was completely Faith. Short, tight, and black leather. Xander twirled her and she almost tripped over her own heeled feet.

“I knew that,” she said. She’d overheard Xander on the phone with the other Slayer late at night, either speaking in gentle tones or completely breaking down. Anya and Robin had hit them hard and they finally had someone who fully understood what they were going through. She looked around with sudden alarm. “Where’s Andrew?”

Spike snorted, jerking a thumb a few tables down. Andrew’s mouth was moving quickly and his hands were gesticulating with fervor. Illyria stared at the table, playing with the lace of her royal blue dress’ bell sleeves. Seemingly sensing their attention, she looked up suddenly and met Buffy’s gaze, a pleading in her eyes. Buffy bit back a smile and shook her head. The demon scowled and returned to playing with her sleeve.

Suddenly, Giles was blocking her view of the demon. “Buffy,” he said with a forced smile. “This is Derek. He’s been quite persistent about speaking with you.”

“I thought we agreed I was done,” she said, shooting Giles a pointed look. He shrugged helplessly. With a sigh, Buffy turned to the young man. “I’m sorry….was it Derek?”

“Yes,” he said. She groaned internally. Great. Another British man. “It’s an honor to speak with you, Miss Summers. You’re really quite the legend-”

“Could we do this another time?” she interrupted. “I’m sort of off the clock right now.”

“Oh, it would only take-”

“Back off, mate,” Spike said, taking a drag off his cigarette and flicking it into the potted plant beside him. “The lady said she’d talk to you some other time.”

“Is that a cigarette?”

With a grin, Spike blew out the smoke. “Don’t see one in my hand, do you?” To Buffy’s delight, Giles stifled a laugh with a fake cough, waving at invisible smoke. Spike stood and offered her his hand in one fluid motion. “Care to dance, love?”

“With you?” She took his hand, effectively dismissing Derek. “Always. Giles, I’ll come find you later?”

He nodded. “Of course. Go enjoy yourself, Buffy. You deserve it.”

Spike swept her onto the floor, pulling her to him with the practiced grace of someone who’d done this before and effortlessly leading her in a waltz around the room. Buffy thought she saw the swish of Illyria’s brilliant blue sleeves with Angel, but they disappeared before she could be sure. She rested her head on Spike’s shoulder and closed her eyes, smiling as he led her through the now familiar steps. She knew she was ruining their form, but she didn’t care when she felt his cool lips brush her temple. “My beautiful girl. Have I told you I love you today?” he murmured.

She looked up into his eyes and smiled softly. “Today? I don’t think so. You’re off your game, Spike.”

“Guess I’ll have to make it up to you when we’re alone.”

“I guess you will.” There was a brief pause between one song ending and another starting and Buffy took advantage of the moment to kiss him. “I love you.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that.”

“I’ll never get tired of saying it. I love you, Spike.”

He took her hand in his as the music started to swell again. “Love you, too, pet.”

\----------------------------

_Buffy made the decision that, from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep, Spike’s birthday was going to be amazing. Luckily, she woke up before he did. Perfect._

_She kissed his forehead, smiling when he stirred slightly. She took her time mapping his face with her lips and when she was finished, she moved along his jaw to his throat. He didn’t speak until she reached the crook of his neck. “Buffy, love?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“What are you doing?”_

_She rose to his face again, rolling his eyes even though he couldn’t see her. She smoothed his furrowed brow with her thumb, then kissed away his frown. “Waking you up. Do you want me to stop?”_

_“No. But before you start again, I’d like to know what’s going on.”_

_“Do you know what today is?”_

_“Saturday?”_

_“It’s April twenty-fourth,” she said gently. “Happy birthday.”_

_His eyes flew open and he sat up abruptly, staring down at her. She watched confusion flicker across his face and could practically see his brain shutting down and rebooting. It reminded her so much of Christmas, her heart ached for him. When was the last time he’d done something for his birthday? She knew it had been at least five years, probably longer. Drusilla didn’t strike her as the celebratory type._

_“How do you know today’s my birthday?” he said once he’d recovered._

_She propped herself up on one elbow and looked up at him. “I asked Angel. Actually, he told me November twenty-third but Giles said that was when you were sired so I had to call Angel_ again _and-” She sighed heavily. “He can be very unhelpful at times.”_

_“He wouldn’t tell?”_

_She sat up and shimmied closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. “He couldn’t remember. He knew it lined up with some saint’s eve and that it was in April, but he didn’t know the date. Willow figured it out from that.”_

_Spike twirled a lock of her hair around his finger as he considered this. After a moment, he froze and narrowed his eyes at her. “You timed this, didn’t you? You knew before we left.”_

_“It was a happy accident,” she said with a smile. Her eyes landed on the dresser she’d claimed as hers and her eyes widened. She had to give him the contents of the small box before she could do anything else. “Speaking of happy accidents, I have something for you. It’s kind of two presents in one.”_

_“Buffy, you didn’t have to-”_

_“Yes I did. Now close your eyes.” He chuckled and acquiesced, planting his hands behind him and leaning back. She made an excited squeak as she threw off the sheets and opened the box, taking out the necklace and returning to Spike. She jumped back onto the mattress and placed the chain around his neck, letting the pendant thump against his bare chest. “Okay. You can look.”_

_His eyes fluttered open and he took the emerald obelisk in one hand, holding it up so he could inspect it. “This gonna kill me too?”_

_“No,” she said with a fond eye roll. “Actually, it’s going to do the opposite.”_

_She saw the exact moment he realized what it was. His eyes widened and his gaze snapped to hers with an intensity she hadn’t seen in a long time. Like he wanted to hope but couldn’t bring himself to in case he was wrong. “The Gem of Amara,” he whispered._

_“Not exactly,” she said, shifting so she was even closer to him. “Giles said it’s like a sibling or a cousin. It won’t make you invincible, but it’ll help with the sun problem. Looks like we’ll finally get to find out if you freckle.”_

_“You’re sure?”_

_“Positive. Now get dressed. I haven’t left this house because I want to explore Paris with you.”_

_Spike practically leapt from the bed, more eager to have clothes on than he probably had been in his entire life. She laughed, slipping on a sundress from her closet and pulling on a pair of strappy sandals. Her feet would probably be killing her by the time they were done, but she found she really didn’t care. Blisters would heal and the sandals took less time than sneakers. She wanted to see him in the sun._

_He’d barely finished pulling his shirt on over the necklace when she grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs. The staff Giles had hired despite their protests shot them strange looks when they ran past, but she didn’t care. Maybe there would be a rumor about the vampire who could walk in the sun. The two of them could be legends of a completely different kind. The thought made her laugh and, before she could open the door, Spike took her face in his hands and kissed her. “How am I doing so far?” she asked._

_“You’re bloody brilliant, love. If this works-”_

_“There’s no if,” she said with more confidence than she felt. “It’s going to work. Faith tested it on a random fledgling in Los Angeles and she swore it worked. She wouldn’t lie about that, not knowing who it was meant for.”_

_“You promise?” he asked. The phrase had become something of a lifeline for them over the years. Spike didn’t break his promises. Buffy didn’t break hers to him. It wasn’t something asked lightly. The realization that Spike was terrified hit her like a bus._

_She laced their fingers together and gently squeezed. “Yeah. I promise.”_

_Buffy opened the door and stepped out into the sunshine, pulling him along behind her. Once they were both fully under the French sun they froze, waiting for smoke to curl from his skin accompanied by the sizzling sound of burning flesh. When Buffy had counted to twenty and nothing happened, she grinned, throwing herself into his arms with a laugh._

_“How does it feel?” she asked, resting her cheek on his shoulder._

_He tilted his face to the sky, sending the sun glinting off his bleached hair and making his pale complexion more obvious, though it wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be. He closed his eyes and held her tight, inhaling the scent of a new world as it opened before him. She knew his awestruck smile would stay with her for a long, long time. “It feels like you,” he said after a moment. “My light in the dark.”_

_She smiled. “You think I’m your light?”_

_He laughed, pushing her back just enough to look into her eyes. “I think you’re the sun to my moon, pet. Have ever since the night I realized I was in love with you. Being around you….it’s what I imagined stepping into sunlight would feel like. Warm, bright. A bit terrifying until you realize you won’t burn up from the heat.”_

_Buffy embraced him again, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she fought back tears. “Spike-”_

_He kissed her forehead. “It feels like your love, Buffy. My golden goddess.”_

_She cupped his cheek with one hand. “My silver warrior.”_

_“I like the sound of that.”_

_Buffy rolled her eyes, dropping her hand. “Of course you do.” She took his hand in her other, leading him towards the front gate. “So. What do you want to do first?”_

\----------------------------

“I want you to hold me.”

He opened his arms as she crawled into their shared bed, a clear invitation for her to situate herself however she wanted. Buffy curled up against Spike’s chest, letting out a sigh of contentment as his arms wrapped around her. She closed her eyes and he felt her relax into him, comfortable and the good kind of tired that came from a party that went well.“Thank God we don’t have to clean up this party,” she said softly. “I think this one might be even worse than Angel’s New Year’s fiasco.”

He chuckled, unable to hide the edge of exhaustion in his voice. “I think I have to agree with you. At least you learned your lesson about wearing heels.”

“No sore feet for Buffy this time,” she said with a smile. “It was nice seeing everyone again. I know they’ve been busy dealing with the cleanup and shelters and everything. And Faith….it was a year ago last week. I’m glad she wasn’t alone, you know?”

He ran a hand over her hair. “I know. It’s hard losing the people you love.”

“Yeah. It is.” She sighed again and he felt her arms squeeze him a little tighter. “Spike?”

“What is it, pet?”

“Will you tell me a story?” she asked quietly. “Something new?”

“Got something in mind, do you?”

“ _Pride and Prejudice_.” He laughed, the sound low and languid as a result of the late hour. Somehow, in less than a year, she’d managed to completely ruin his vampire sleep schedule. He’d never been happier. “You said you’d fix my ignorance.”

“I did, didn’t I?” He kissed her crown, hoping she was tired enough it distracted her from the movement of his hand fumbling in the pocket of his coat where it was on the chair beside the bed. Once he found his prize, he took her hand in his and toyed with her fingers, raising her hand to his mouth and kissing each fingertip before brushing his lips across her knuckles. God, he was nervous. Why was he so nervous? 

_If Spike stayed at my side through some of the worst times of my entire life, then he’s not going to leave now. And neither will I_.

He took a deep breath as he flipped open the lid of the box with one hand. This was easy. One simple question. Yes or no. 

“Buffy, pet?” he murmured.

“Yeah, Spike?”

He plucked the ring out and held it between two fingers. “What would you say if I asked you to marry me?”

Her eyes flashed open and she looked up at him in surprise. He forced his lips to twist into a playful smirk, but he knew she could read his fear and hope in his eyes. She smiled, raised herself up on one arm, and kissed him softly. “I’d say yes.”

If his heart beat, it would have skipped. “You promise?”

“Yeah.” She offered him her hand to let him slide the ring on her finger. When he pulled his hand away, she beamed at him and kissed him again. “I promise.”

He was pretty sure he wasn’t ever going to stop smiling. “I love you, Buffy.”

“I love you, too, Spike.” She re-settled herself in his arms, examining the ring as she spoke. “Now, tell me about Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. I’ve heard nothing but good things about their relationship and I’d love to see if the rumors are true.”

He chuckled, pecking her on the lips before he brought his lips to her ear and spoke. “‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife….’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, I can’t believe we’re here! Thank you so much to everyone who read, kudos’d, commented, bookmarked, etc. It really means a lot to me that you gave this story a chance.
> 
> Once again, an enormous thank you to my best friend and beta reader Anya_Mae for listening to my ideas, giving me advice, and all around being an amazing person. Promise Me couldn’t have existed without you! She has a one shot up that you should definitely go check out!
> 
> I’ve been in various fandoms for most of my life and I know how disappointing it is to start a story that gets abandoned later. I don’t want to begin posting anything long until it’s finished and since I don’t have as much time to write now that college has started, you probably won’t see anything long from me for a month or two.
> 
> One last time, thank you so much to everyone who read this story! You all really gave this aspiring writer hope that she can make it.
> 
> -Lucky_19


End file.
